Its all through my girl, said Private Smith meekly; first she jilted me, and made me join the army; now shes chucked the other fellow, and wrote to me to go back.
An now I spose the other chapll take your place in the army, said Joe. Why, a gal like that could fill a regiment, if she liked. Pah! Theyll nab you too, in that uniform, and youll get six months, and have to finish your time as well.
Its more than likely, said the soldier gloomily. Ive got to tramp to Manchester in these clothes, as far as I can see.
What did you give old Dan all your money for? inquired Joe.
I was only thinking of getting away at first, said Smith, and I had to take what was offered.
Well, Ill do what I can for you, said the seaman. If youre in love, you aint responsible for your actions. I remember the first time I got the chuck. I went into a public-house bar, and smashed all the glass and bottles I could get at. I felt as though I must do something. If you were only shorter, Id lend you some clothes.
Youre a brick, said the soldier gratefully.
I havent got any money I could lend you either, said Joe. I never do have any, somehow. But clothes you must have.
He fell into deep thought, and cocked his eye aloft as though contemplating a cutting-out expedition on the sails, while the soldier, sitting on the side of the ship, waited hopefully for a miracle.
Youd better get below again, said Joe presently.
There seems to be somebody moving below; and if the skipper sees you, youre done. Hes a regular Tartar, and hes got a brother whats a sergeant-major in the army. Hed give you up drectly if he spotted you.
Im off, said Smith; and with long, cat-like strides he disappeared swiftly below.
For two days all went well, and Dan was beginning to congratulate himself upon his little venture, when his peace of mind was rudely disturbed. The crew were down below, having their tea, when Billy, who had been to the galley for hot water, came down, white and scared.
Look here, he said nervously, Ive not had anything to do with this chap being aboard, have I?
Whats the matter? inquired Dan quickly.
Its all found out, said Billy.
WHAT! cried the crew simultaneously.
Leastways, it will be, said the youth, correcting himself. Youd better chuck him overboard while youve got time. I heard the capn tell the mate as he was coming down in the focsle to-morrow morning to look round. Hes going to have it painted.
This, said Dan, in the midst of a painful pause, this is what comes of helping a fellow-creature. Whats to be done?
Tell the skipper the focsle dont want painting, suggested Billy.
The agonised old seaman, carefully putting down his saucer of tea, cuffed his head spitefully.
Its a smooth sea, said he, looking at the perturbed countenance of Private Smith, an theres a lot of shipping about. If I was a deserter, sooner than be caught, I would slip overboard to-night with a lifebelt and take my chance.
I wouldnt, said Mr. Smith, with much decision.
You wouldnt? Not if you was quite near another ship? cooed Dan.
Not if I was near fifty blooming ships, all trying to see which could pick me up first, replied Mr. Smith, with some heat.
Then we shall have to leave you to your fate, said Dan solemnly. If a mans unreasonable, his best friends can do nothing for him.
Chuck all his clothes overboard, anyway, said Billy.
Thats a good idea o the boys. You leave his ears alone, said Joe, stopping the ready hand of the exasperated Dan. Hes got more sense than any of us. Can you think of anything else, Billy? What shall we do then?
The eyes of all were turned upon their youthful deliverer, those of Mr. Smith being painfully prominent. It was a proud moment for Billy, and he sat silent for some time, with a look of ineffable wisdom and thought upon his face. At length he spoke.
Let somebody else have a turn, he said generously.
The voice of the antimacassar worker broke the silence.
Paint him all over with stripes of different-coloured paint, and let him pretend hes mad, and didnt know how he got here, he said, with an uncontrollable ring of pride at the idea, which was very coldly received, Private Smith being noticeably hard on it.
I know, said Billy shrilly, clapping his hands. Ive got it, I ve got it. After hes chucked his clothes overboard to-night, let him go overboard too, with a line.
And tow him the rest o the way, and chuck biscuits to him, I suppose, snarled Dan.
No, said the youthful genius scornfully; pretend hes been upset from a boat, and has been swimming about, and we heard him cry out for help and rescued him.
Its about the best way out of it, said Joe, after some deliberation; its warm weather, and you wont take no harm, mate. Do it in my watch, and Ill pull you out directly.
Wouldnt it do if you just chucked a bucket of water over me and SAID youd pulled me out, suggested the victim. The other thing seems a downright LIE.
No, said Billy authoritatively, youve got to look half-drowned, and swallow a lot of water, and your eyes be all bloodshot.
Everybody being eager for the adventure, except Private Smith, the arrangements were at once concluded, and the approach of night impatiently awaited. It was just before midnight when Smith, who had forgotten for the time his troubles in sleep, was shaken into wakefulness.
Cold water, sir? said Billy gleefully.
In no mood for frivolity, Private Smith rose and followed the youth on deck. The air struck him as chill as he stood there; but, for all that, it was with a sense of relief that he saw Her Majestys uniform go over the side and sink into the dark water.
He dont look much with his padding off, does he? said Billy, who had been eyeing him critically.
You go below, said Dan sharply.
Garn, said Billy indignantly; I want to see the fun as well as you do. I thought of it.
Fun? said the old man severely. Fun? To see a feller creature suffering, and perhaps drowned
I dont think I had better go, said the victim; it seems rather underhand.
Yes, you will, said Joe. Wind this line round an round your arm, and just swim about gently till I pull you in.
Sorely against his inclination Private Smith took hold of the line, and, hanging over the side of the schooner, felt the temperature with his foot, and, slowly and tenderly, with many little gasps, committed his body to the deep. Joe paid out the line and waited, letting out more line, when the man in the water, who was getting anxious, started to come in hand over hand.
Thatll do, said Dan at length.
I think it will, said Joe, and, putting his hand to his mouth, gave a mighty shout. It was answered almost directly by startled roars from the cabin, and the skipper and mate came rushing hastily upon deck, to see the crew, in their sleeping gear, forming an excited group round Joe, and peering eagerly over the side.
Whats the matter? demanded the skipper.
Somebody in the water, sir, said Joe, relinquishing the wheel to one of the other seamen, and hauling in the line. I heard a cry from the water and threw a line, and, by gum, Ive hooked it!
He hauled in, lustily aided by the skipper, until the long white body of Private Smith, blanched with the cold, came bumping against the schooners side.
Somebody in the water, sir, said Joe, relinquishing the wheel to one of the other seamen, and hauling in the line. I heard a cry from the water and threw a line, and, by gum, Ive hooked it!
He hauled in, lustily aided by the skipper, until the long white body of Private Smith, blanched with the cold, came bumping against the schooners side.
Its a mermaid, said the mate, who was inclined to be superstitious, as he peered doubtfully down at it. Let it go, Joe.
Haul it in, boys, said the skipper impatiently; and two of the men clambered over the side and, stooping down, raised it from the water.
In the midst of a puddle, which he brought with him, Private Smith was laid on the deck, and, waving his arms about, fought wildly for his breath.
Fetch one of them empties, said the skipper quickly, as he pointed to some barrels ranged along the side.
The men rolled one over, and then aided the skipper in placing the long fair form of their visitor across it, and to trundle it lustily up and down the deck, his legs forming convenient handles for the energetic operators.
Hes coming round, said the mate, checking them; hes speaking. How do you feel, my poor fellow?
He put his ear down, but the action was unnecessary. Private Smith felt bad, and, in the plainest English he could think of at the moment, said so distinctly.
Hes swearing, said the mate. He ought to be ashamed of himself.
Yes, said the skipper austerely; and him so near death too. How did you get in the water?
Went for aswim, panted Smith surlily.
SWIM? echoed the skipper. Why, were ten miles from land!
His minds wandering, pore feller, interrupted Joe hurriedly. What boat did you fall out of, matey?
A row-boat, said Smith, trying to roll out of reach of the skipper, who was down on his knees flaying him alive with a roller-towel. I had to undress in the water to keep afloat. Ive lost all my clothes.
Pore feller, said Dan.
A gold watch and chain, my purse, and three of the nicest fellers that ever breathed, continued Smith, who was now entering into the spirit of the thing.
Poor chaps, said the skipper solemnly. Any of em leave any family?
Four, said Smith sadly.
Children? queried the mate.
Families, said Smith.
Look here, said the mate, but the watchful Joe interrupted him.
His minds wandering, said he hastily. He cant count, pore chap. We d better git him to bed.
Ah, do, said the skipper, and, assisted by his friends, the rescued man was half led, half carried below and put between the blankets, where he lay luxuriously sipping a glass of brandy and water, sent from the cabin.
Howd I do it? he inquired, with a satisfied air.
There was no need to tell all them lies about it, said Dan sharply; instead of one little lie you told half-a-dozen. I dont want nothing more to do with you. You start afresh now, like a new-born babe.
All right, said Smith shortly; and, being very much fatigued with his exertions, and much refreshed by the brandy, fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.
The morning was well advanced when he awoke, and the focsle empty except for the faithful Joe, who was standing by his side, with a heap of clothing under his arm.
Try these on, said he, as Smith stared at him half awake; theyll be better than nothing, at any rate.
The soldier leaped from his bunk and gratefully proceeded to dress himself, Joe eyeing him critically as the trousers climbed up his long legs, and the sleeves of the jacket did their best to conceal his elbows.
What do I look like? he inquired anxiously, as he finished.
Six foot an a half o misery, piped the shrill voice of Billy promptly, as he thrust his head in at the focsle. You cant go to church in those clothes.
Well, theyll do for the ship, but you cant go ashore in em, said Joe, as he edged towards the ladder, and suddenly sprang up a step or two to let fly at the boy, The old man wants to see you; be careful what you say to him.
With a very unsuccessful attempt to appear unconscious of the figure he cut, Smith went up on deck for the interview.
We cant do anything until we get to London, said the skipper, as he made copious notes of Smiths adventures. As soon as we get there, Ill lend you the money to telegraph to your friends to tell em youre safe and to send you some clothes, and of course youll have free board and lodging till it comes, and Ill write out an account of it for the newspapers.
Youre very good, said Smith blankly.
And I dont know what you are, said the skipper, interrogatively; but you ought to go in for swimming as a professionsix hours swimming about like that is wonderful.
You dont know what you can do till you have to, said Smith modestly, as he backed slowly away; but I never want to see the water again as long as I live.
The two remaining days of their passage passed all too quickly for the men, who were casting about for some way out of the difficulty which they foresaw would arise when they reached London.
If youd only got decent clothes, said Joe, as they passed Gravesend, you could go off and send a telegram, and not come back; but you couldnt go five yards in them things without having a crowd after you.
I shall have to be taken I spose, said Smith moodily.
An poor old Danll get six months hard for helping you off, said Joe sympathetically, as a bright idea occurred to him.
Rubbish! said Dan uneasily. He can stick to his tale of being upset; anyway, the skipper saw him pulled out of the water. Hes too honest a chap to get an old man into trouble for trying to help him.
He must have a new rig out, Dan, said Joe softly. You an mell go an buy em. Ill do the choosing, and youll do the paying. Why, itll be a reglar treat for you to lay out a little money, Dan. Well have quite an evenings shopping, everything of the best.
The infuriated Dan gasped for breath, and looked helplessly at the grinning crew.
Ill see himoverboard first, he said furiously.
Please yourself, said Joe shortly, If hes caught youll get six months. As it is, youve got a chance of doing a nice, kind little Christian act, becos, o course, that twenty-five bob you got out of him wont anything like pay for his toggery.
Almost beside himself with indignation, the old man moved off, and said not another word until they were made fast to the wharf at Limehouse. He did not even break silence when Joe, taking him affectionately by the arm, led him aft to the skipper.
Me an Dan, sir, said Joe very respectfully, would like to go ashore for a little shopping. Dan has very kindly offered to lend that pore chap the money for some clothes, and he wants me to go with him to help carry them.
Ay, ay, said the skipper, with a benevolent smile at the aged philanthropist. Youd better go at once, afore the shops shut.
Well run, sir, said Joe, and taking Dan by the arm, dragged him into the street at a trot.
Nearly a couple of hours passed before they returned, and no child watched with greater eagerness the opening of a birthday present than Smith watched the undoing of the numerous parcels with which they were laden.
Hes a reglar fairy godmother, aint he? said Joe, as Smith joyously dressed himself in a very presentable tweed suit, serviceable boots, and a bowler hat. We had a dreadful job to get a suit big enough, an the only one we could get was rather more money than we wanted to give, wasnt it, Dan?