I am the COUGAR - Irina Bjørnø

I am the COUGAR

Irina Bjørnø

Proofreader Jeanne Richardson

Photograph Irina Bjørnø

© Irina Bjørnø, 2019

© Irina Bjørnø, photos, 2019

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Preface

All modern books written about self-development and self-help for modern women developed around one main idea: how to make you more beautiful, lovely, happy, and positive. In spite of the thousands of books written about positive thinking, right diets, fitness exercises the world around us is booming with female problems: physical (weight, health), mental (anger, sexual frustrations) and psychological (low self esteem, anorexia, unhappiness). Why is this? It happens because positive methods concentrate only on your positive side and does not respect your real nature, which is always dual. You know that you are both: angel and devil, sleeping beauty and Cougar. Until you can be the perfect Cougar and recognise these qualities inside you, you cannot become a little mermaid.

Life made you a Cougar. Your parents, school, and family  they all contributed to this task. How can you be a little mermaid in our modern, mad and man chauvinistic society? No way! You are as you are! Do not be ashamed of yourself!

What is absolutely most important is that in every situation you feel that you are yourself, you are natural, you are spontaneous and creative, and you are happy with your choice.

Positive methods sometime give you a false «positive image». It is a mask, which people use on the surface  smiling, positive, sweet, with daily affirmations «I am an angel».

You know that some times such roles or mask are too sweet. You absolutely do not enjoy your «Angel» image as much as you enjoyed your «Cougar» role before  that is the problem. You cannot relax in your very sweet new image in all of the everyday situations life creates. This is not your own creation  someone told you that a positive image is good for girls. But this creates a conflict inside you. Deep inside you are the «Cougar» and you like it. Very deep inside, you enjoy being the Cougar. Inside, skin deep, you are the murder, sexual maniac, kleptomaniac and shopaholic. Outside your facade is the false no-wind weather, inside you are a tropical hurricane. It is OK. You ARE the Cougar. Relax and enjoy it.

I will guide you on how to become the Perfect Cougar in our chaotic, hectic and man-mad everyday modern life, and have no conflicts with your self. How can I do it? It is because I am a beautiful, clever Cougar myself, and I enjoy my life, my world and myself. I will share my secrets with you, my friend. I cannot teach you anything  you need to develop your own expertise to be the perfect Cougar, but I will tell you about the methods which are working for me. You can adopt some of them, and then develop your own methods.

This book is very practical and easy. It is the perfect start to creating a new chapter in your life  and you will enjoy it!

Here are the issues, which we will be discussing together with you in this book:

 Small everyday secrets of the beautiful Cougar

 7 tricks for a good Cougar to make a good day out of a bad one.

 Next generation of Cougares  make the secrets available for the next generation as a part of your heritage

 Extra (lucky Cougar number): Cougar and her death

I dedicate this book to all the beautiful and clever women of the World! My inspiration came especially from knowing the Cougares from my own family: my grand-grand mother Maria, my granny Alexandra, my mom Luisa. But, also, I am very grateful and proud that I know several Cougares of 20th century such as Karen Blixen a Danish writer, Frida Kahlo, Georgia OKeeffe, Madonna; an American singer who is my age. Their personal histories inspired me to write this book.

1. Who is the Cougar?

Duality is the basic quality of existence. Day and night are supplementary to each other. Love and hate are the two sides of the same: relations. It is natural. If you do not hate your husband/boyfriend sometimes you have no relations with him. When you have no family you feel unhappy; when you create a family you still feel unhappy sometimes (differently unhappy)  it is the duality of life. But without duality there is no development. I suggest that you start to love lifes conflicts and stay happy!

A positive life without conflicts is an impotent life. Paradise is not complete without hell. Polarity is natural. A woman is yin (from Venus) and a man is yang (from Mars)  it is the fundamental conflict of life  and it is the beauty of existence! Without this fundamental difference life cannot exist and proceed! Children are the result of this life duality.

Lesbian couples cannot create a child, gay couples are in the same position  they lack the fundamental duality, polarisation, and have very little conflicts inside their relationships. Polarisation exists in homosexual relations, also, but not the genetic one; their polarisation is more a play (like a theatre roles). It is not a natural polarisation. It is like the difference between nature and art. Nature is natural and ever changing; art is a fake, it could be a very beautiful fake, but it is always the same. Art is a reflection of the momentary mood of its creator, his self-therapy. Only a few artists can reflect nature as an objective science, as Leonardo, Rafael, Mozart and several others to name a few.

«Cougar» is part of your personality as a destroyer, as a negative motivator, as a magical power of creation a new reality. «Cougar» is your strength against everyday hazards, messes, and madness. It is the protection part of your «little mermaid».

There are three phases of your personal activities during all of your life: they are the creative phase, maintenance phase and destruction phase. Each part of these phases demands your active position. Sometime only the Cougar can fulfil all these challenges. A sweet lady has no power to make the changes happen. The Cougar has.

In order to enjoy your life story you need to allow yourself to try different sides of existence. If you suppress part of yourself you will never understand the beauty to be a whole person, to be beyond your duality, to be happy.

To be whole as a person you need to develop your «Cougar» style and enjoy it.

2. My Cougar Story

My grand-grand mother was a Cougar. She lived in Belorussia in the small city named Polotsk more than 100 years ago. She was rich, well educated and clever. She was clairvoyant, a healer, and a «medicine woman», whom in medieval times would have been classified as one to be burned in the inquisition «purification» fire.

My grand-grand mother was a Cougar. She lived in Belorussia in the small city named Polotsk more than 100 years ago. She was rich, well educated and clever. She was clairvoyant, a healer, and a «medicine woman», whom in medieval times would have been classified as one to be burned in the inquisition «purification» fire.

She could see, or sense, events before they actually happened, but she couldnt interfere with the destiny of people. She respected the free will of people as a fundamental human right. She knew precisely how to heal wounds and how to predict the future. But, she could not avoid her destiny during the ugly time of communists suppression, after the October revolution, as to be part of this collective madness. I have a picture of her  a little old medallion  and I can see the beautiful self-confidence woman with a big hat  a real «mystery» for men.

There is an old picture of her with her husband and her daughter Sasha, my grand mother, when Sasha was only 6 years old. My grandmother who I knew and adore since my childhood was a real modern «Cougar»  being married 4 times and with 5 different men (one of them was free-love) in spite of her handicap. She insured her leg, when she was only 20, working together with Vladimir Lenin in the Kremlin  so called «subbotnik»  it was a special day when people devoted their free labour for revolutionary tasks. Because of her injury she used ugly orthopaedic shoes and a walking stick all of her life, which I found she did with great elegance. She was a very elegant lady.

My first memory of her was when she was a 60-year-old woman. I was very proud to walk beside her in the streets of Moscow. She would walk with her high ugly shoes and wooden stick with such dignity and beauty that everyone around was staring at her!

She was a perfect Cougar. In spite of her illness and constant pain in her leg she was a happy woman: she created her own very comfortable, and rich in events world and personal lifestyle. She was a womens dress designer by profession and she was the owner of her own little school of design. In the 1960s, she was one of the first designers who created the first push-up for Russian womens society. All of her cloth creations were colourful, fresh, elegant, irresistible for men, and simply beautiful. She made an unforgettable contribution to creating the «Cougar» designs for modern girls in communist Russia of 19601980  sexy, passionate, seductive and attractive. Russia was a closed country at that time, therefore it sounds unbelievable when I talk about the fashion in Khrushchevs and Brezhnevs Russia, but I was a witness of her creations. The stupid, famous remark «We have no sex in Russia», made during the first Russian-American summit in 1970, made her laugh hysterically  after 4 marriages and 6 children she was an expert in bisexual relations and the art of mens seduction!

She knew a lot about natural medicine, but sometimes she was an impossible Cougar for those who surrounded her (for example, her son-in-law, my father). I have learned a lot by just being around her. She never had ugly conflicts with her husbands but clever confrontations (I adored her last husband a lot even though he was not actually my grandfather). And, she was always the winner. She was teaching me to be a winner in womens life.

She had only a few wrinkles when she was in her 80s. I still remember her beautiful smiling face  the face of a real «Cougar». She had her secrets of ever beauty. I will share them with you.

My mom was/is (still) the Cougar, too  an example of a «soviet» Cougar with double morals: communist outside and very religious and fateful person inside  I love her!

Here she is: my beautiful mom in 1955 in Moscow, Russia before my birth.

It was my background to become the «Cougar» myself. I developed a «beautiful Cougar» image. I am fifty, sexy, intelligent, funny, adored by a lot of men (and women) and happy married to my lovely Danish husband (N.2). No less  no more. Cougar.

3. How a Cougar should make her decisions

Freedom in our life means that we make the best possible decisions in certain circumstances. Absolute freedom does not exist  we are not free from the prison of bodily needs, society laws and restriction, historical customs which some people call cultural treasure, and natural hazards conditions.

But, how do we make the best possible decision in this context? The perfect Cougar has her own rules: the law of attraction. She makes her decision from the feeling of prosperity, harmony and elegance or she waits for a better time. She never compromises her visions. How can you apply this rule?

Look around at how people make ordinary decisions: they buy clothes on sale, which is out of fashion (otherwise, it would not be on sale). They buy the cheapest food in supermarkets, they purchase cars with the presumption of how easy it will be to sell later on, or purchase a house in an attractive area, thinking how the sale price will be in 20 years from now. It is the kind of decisions made by fear, uncertainty and collective press (collective madness). In making such decisions people will remain in poverty and fears forever.

I suggest turning this procedure around: make the decision because you are rich and prosper (inside), because you are an elegant lady, and because it is the best choice for you. Buy only the things which suit your needs 100%  no compromise! Or wait for the better time.

Your decisions will shape your future and develop your personality. Go for the best for you and make all the decisions by applying 5 quality criteria:

 Truth: is it true that .. is the best for me just now?

 Health: is it really the best for my health?

 Beauty: it is really the best for my beauty?

 Love: does it really help me to experience love in my life?

 Joy: Will I be more joyful and happy when I have. in my life?

The right decision should have all 5 positive answers. Do not compromise your decision! Try this technique starting tomorrow and be amazed at the results. You will be transformed in a very short time to a beautiful, joyful, smiling lady with all dreams fulfilled.

4. Morning practices for Cougars

And now a little about the ever-youthful secrets of the perfect Cougar: how to be attractive during your whole life? What to do each morning to develop your full energy potential? It is easy! Start each day with a certain procedure:

 Wake up your body gently: open your eyes and make your first stretches lying in bed  like a big puma-cat  cougar: stretch your body, all of the body parts; make them long and do not be in a hurry: the Cougar has plenty of time for herself! Make this practice for 34 minutes. Enjoy yourself!

 Cleopatra foot massage: Sit on the edge of your bed and massage your feet. One foot at a time. Bend and rotate your toes. Knock your heels with your fists. Take your open palms and follow the leg from ankle up to knee and down to ankle again with light press of your fingers. Do it 21 times, up and down movements counting for 1. This is the best for legs blood circulation and protects your legs from varicose veins troubles.