And who could doubt it (if being pure themselves, they have instinctive sympathy with what is pure), who ever looked into those great deep blue eyes of yours, the black fringed curtains of whose azure lids, usually down-dropt as if in deepest thought, you raise slowly, almost wonderingly each time you speak, as if awakening from some fair dream whose home is rather in your platonical eternal world of supra-sensible forms, than on that work-day earth wherein you nevertheless acquit yourself so well? ThereI must stop describing you, or I shall catch the infection of your own euphuism, and talk of you as you would have talked of Sidney or of Spenser, or of that Swan of Avon, whose song had just begun when yoursbut I will not anticipate; my Lady Bath is waiting to give you her rejoinder.
Ah, my silver-tongued scholar! and are you, then, the poet? or have you been drawing on the inexhaustible bank of your friend Raleigh, or my cousin Sidney? or has our new Cygnet Immerito lent you a few unpublished leaves from some fresh Shepherds Calendar?
Had either, madam, of that cynosural triad been within call of my most humble importunities, your ears had been delectate with far nobler melody.
But not our eyes with fairer faces, eh? Well, you have chosen your nymphs, and had good store from whence to pick, I doubt not. Few young Dulcineas round but must have been glad to take service under so renowned a captain?
The only difficulty, gracious countess, has been to know where to fix the wandering choice of my bewildered eyes, where all alike are fair, and all alike facund.
We understand, said she, smiling;
Dan Cupid, choosing midst his mothers graces,
Himself more fair, made scorn of fairest faces.
The young scholar capped her distich forthwith, and bowing to her with a meaning look,
Then, Goddess, turn, he cried, and veil thy light; Blinded by thine, what eyes can choose aright?
Go, saucy sir, said my lady, in high glee: the pageant stays your supreme pleasure.
And away went Mr. Frank as master of the revels, to bring up the prentices pageant; while, for his sake, the nymph of Torridge was forgotten for awhile by all young dames, and most young gentlemen: and his mother heaved a deep sigh, which Lady Bath overhearing
What? in the dumps, good madam, while all are rejoicing in your joy? Are you afraid that we court-dames shall turn your Adoniss brain for him?
I do, indeed, fear lest your condescension should make him forget that he is only a poor squires orphan.
I will warrant him never to forget aught that he should recollect, said my Lady Bath.
And she spoke truly. But soon Franks silver voice was heard calling out
Room there, good people, for the gallant prentice lads!
And on they came, headed by a giant of buckram and pasteboard armor, forth of whose stomach looked, like a clock-face in a steeple, a human visage, to be greeted, as was the fashion then, by a volley of quips and puns from high and low.
Young Mr. William Cary, of Clovelly, who was the wit of those parts, opened the fire by asking him whether he were Goliath, Gogmagog, or Grantorto in the romance; for giants names always began with a G. To which the giants stomach answered pretty surlily
Mine dont; I begin with an O.
Then thou criest out before thou art hurt, O cowardly giant!
Let me out, lads, quoth the irascible visage, struggling in his buckram prison, and I soon show him whether I be a coward.
Nay, if thou gettest out of thyself, thou wouldst be beside thyself, and so wert but a mad giant.
And that were pity, said Lady Bath; for by the romances, giants have never overmuch wit to spare.
Mercy, dear lady! said Frank, and let the giant begin with an O.
A
A false start, giant! you were to begin with an O.
Ill make you end with an O, Mr. William Cary! roared the testy tower of buckram.
And so I do, for I end with Fico!
Be mollified, sweet giant, said Frank, and spare the rash youth of yon foolish knight. Shall elephants catch flies, or Hurlo-Thrumbo stain his club with brains of Dagonet the jester? Be mollified; leave thy caverned grumblings, like Etna when its windy wrath is past, and discourse eloquence from thy central omphalos, like Pythoness ventriloquizing.
If you do begin laughing at me too, Mr. Leigh said the giants clock-face, in a piteous tone.
I laugh not. Art thou not Ordulf the earl, and I thy humblest squire? Speak up, my lord; your cousin, my Lady Bath, commands you.
And at last the giant began:
A giant I, Earl Ordulf men me call,
Gainst Paynim foes Devonias champion tall;
In single fight six thousand Turks I slew;
Pulld off a lions head, and ate it too:
With one shrewd blow, to let St. Edward in,
I smote the gates of Exeter in twain;
Till aged grown, by angels warnd in dream,
I built an abbey fair by Tavy stream.
But treacherous time hath tripped my glories up,
The stanch old hound must yield to stancher pup;
Heres one so tall as I, and twice so bold,
Where I took only cuffs, takes good red gold.
From pole to pole resound his wondrous works,
Who slew more Spaniards than I eer slew Turks;
I strode across the Tavy stream: but he
Strode round the world and back; and here a be!
Oh, bathos! said Lady Bath, while the prentices shouted applause. Is this hedge-bantling to be fathered on you, Mr. Frank?
It is necessary, by all laws of the drama, madam, said Frank, with a sly smile, that the speech and the speaker shall fit each other. Pass on, Earl Ordulf; a more learned worthy waits.
Whereon, up came a fresh member of the procession; namely, no less a person than Vindex Brimblecombe, the ancient schoolmaster, with five-and-forty boys at his heels, who halting, pulled out his spectacles, and thus signified his forgiveness of his whilom broken head:
That the world should have been circumnavigated, ladies and gentles, were matter enough of jubilation to the student of Herodotus and Plato, Plinius and ahem! much more when the circumnavigators are Britons; more, again, when Damnonians.
Dont swear, master, said young Will Cary.
Gulielme Cary, Gulielme Cary, hast thou forgotten thy
Whippings? Never, old lad! Go on; but let not the license of the scholar overtop the modesty of the Christian.
More again, as I said, when, incolae, inhabitants of Devon; but, most of all, men of Bideford school. Oh renowned school! Oh schoolboys ennobled by fellowship with him! Oh most happy pedagogue, to whom it has befallen to have chastised a circumnavigator, and, like another Chiron, trained another Hercules: yet more than Hercules, for he placed his pillars on the ocean shore, and then returned; but my scholars voyage
Hark how the old fox is praising himself all along on the sly, said Cary.
Mr. William, Mr. William, peace;silentium, my graceless pupil. Urge the foaming steed, and strike terror into the rapid stag, but meddle not with matters too high for thee.
He has given you the dor now, sir, said Lady Bath; let the old man say his say.
I bring, therefore, as my small contribution to this days feast; first a Latin epigram, as thus
Oh, bathos! said Lady Bath, while the prentices shouted applause. Is this hedge-bantling to be fathered on you, Mr. Frank?
It is necessary, by all laws of the drama, madam, said Frank, with a sly smile, that the speech and the speaker shall fit each other. Pass on, Earl Ordulf; a more learned worthy waits.
Whereon, up came a fresh member of the procession; namely, no less a person than Vindex Brimblecombe, the ancient schoolmaster, with five-and-forty boys at his heels, who halting, pulled out his spectacles, and thus signified his forgiveness of his whilom broken head:
That the world should have been circumnavigated, ladies and gentles, were matter enough of jubilation to the student of Herodotus and Plato, Plinius and ahem! much more when the circumnavigators are Britons; more, again, when Damnonians.
Dont swear, master, said young Will Cary.
Gulielme Cary, Gulielme Cary, hast thou forgotten thy
Whippings? Never, old lad! Go on; but let not the license of the scholar overtop the modesty of the Christian.
More again, as I said, when, incolae, inhabitants of Devon; but, most of all, men of Bideford school. Oh renowned school! Oh schoolboys ennobled by fellowship with him! Oh most happy pedagogue, to whom it has befallen to have chastised a circumnavigator, and, like another Chiron, trained another Hercules: yet more than Hercules, for he placed his pillars on the ocean shore, and then returned; but my scholars voyage
Hark how the old fox is praising himself all along on the sly, said Cary.
Mr. William, Mr. William, peace;silentium, my graceless pupil. Urge the foaming steed, and strike terror into the rapid stag, but meddle not with matters too high for thee.
He has given you the dor now, sir, said Lady Bath; let the old man say his say.
I bring, therefore, as my small contribution to this days feast; first a Latin epigram, as thus
Latin? Let us hear it forthwith, cried my lady.
And the old pedant mouthed out
Torriguiam Tamaris ne spernat; Leighius addet
Mox terras terris, inclyte Drake, tuis.
Neat, i faith, la! Whereon all the rest, as in duty bound, approved also.
This for the erudite: for vulgar ears the vernacular is more consonant, sympathetic, instructive; as thus:
Famed Argo ship, that noble chip, by doughty Jasons steering,
Brought back to Greece the golden fleece, from Colchis home careering;
But now her fame is put to shame, while new Devonian Argo,
Round earth doth run in wake of sun, and brings wealthier cargo.
Runs with a right fa-lal-la, observed Cary; and would go nobly to a fiddle and a big drum.
Ye Spaniards, quake! our doughty Drake a royal swan is tested,
On wing and oar, from shore to shore, the raging main whbreasted:
But never needs to chant his deeds, like swan that lies a-dying,
So far his name, by trump of fame, around the sphere is flying.
Hillo ho! schoolmaster! shouted a voice from behind; move on, and make way for Father Neptune! Whereon a whole storm of raillery fell upon the hapless pedagogue.
We waited for the parsons alligator, but we waint for yourn.
Allegory! my children, allegory! shrieked the man of letters.
What do ye call he an alligator for? He is but a poor little starved evat!
Out of the road, old Custis! March on, Don Palmado!
These allusions to the usual instrument of torture in West-country schools made the old gentleman wince; especially when they were followed home by
Who stole Admiral Grenvilles brooms, because birch rods were dear?
But proudly he shook his bald head, as a bull shakes off the flies, and returned to the charge once more.
Great Alexander, famed commander, wept and made a pother, At conquering only half the world, but Drake had conquerd tother; And Hercules to brink of seas!
Oh!
And clapping both hands to the back of his neck, the schoolmaster began dancing frantically about, while his boys broke out tittering, O! the ochidore! look to the blue ochidore! Whove put ochidore to maisters poll!
It was too true: neatly inserted, as he stooped forward, between his neck and his collar, was a large live shore-crab, holding on tight with both hands.
Gentles! good Christians! save me! I am mare-rode! Incubo, vel ab incubo, opprimor! Satanas has me by the poll! Help! he tears my jugular; he wrings my neck, as he does to Dr. Faustus in the play. Confiteor!I confess! Satan, I defy thee! Good people, I confess! [Greek text]! The truth will out. Mr. Francis Leigh wrote the epigram! And diving through the crowd, the pedagogue vanished howling, while Father Neptune, crowned with sea-weeds, a trident in one hand, and a live dog-fish in the other, swaggered up the street surrounded by a tall bodyguard of mariners, and followed by a great banner, on which was depicted a globe, with Drakes ship sailing thereon upside down, and overwritten
See every man the Pelican,
Which round the world did go,
While her stern-post was uppermost,
And topmasts down below.
And by the way she lost a day,
Out of her log was stole:
But Neptune kind, with favoring wind,
Hath brought her safe and whole.
Now, lads! cried Neptune; hand me my parable thats writ for me, and here goeth!
And at the top of his bull-voice, he began roaring
I am King Neptune bold,
The ruler of the seas
I dont understand much singing upon land,
But I hope what I say will please.
Here be five Bideford men,
Which have saild the world around,
And I watchd them well, as they all can tell,
And brought them home safe and sound.
For it is the men of Devon.
To see them I take delight,
Both to tack and to hull, and to heave and to pull,
And to prove themselves in fight.
Where be those Spaniards proud,
That make their valiant boasts;
And think for to keep the poor Indians for their sheep,
And to farm my golden coasts?
Twas the devil and the Pope gave them
My kingdom for their own:
But my nephew Francis Drake, he caused them to quake,
And he pickd them to the bone.
For the sea my realm it is,
As good Queen Besss is the land;
So freely come again, all merry Devon men,
And theres old Neptunes hand.
Holla, boys! holla! Blow up, Triton, and bring forward the freedom of the seas.
Triton, roaring through a conch, brought forward a cockle-shell full of salt-water, and delivered it solemnly to Amyas, who, of course, put a noble into it, and returned it after Grenville had done the same.
Holla, Dick Admiral! cried neptune, who was pretty far gone in liquor; we knew thou hadst a right English heart in thee, for all thou standest there as taut as a Don who has swallowed his rapier.