Apparently a man of her own caste, yet she had never been so obscurely stirred by a man of her own castehad never instinctively divined in other men the streak which this man, from the first interchange of words, had brought out in her.
Aware of his attraction, hazily convinced that she had no confidence in him, the curious temptation persisted and grew; and she felt very young and very guilty like a small child consenting to parley with another child whose society has been forbidden. And it seemed to her that somehow she had already demeaned herself by the tentative toward a common understanding with an intellect and principles of a grade inferior to her own.
"That was a very pretty woman you were so devoted to in the Adirondacks," she said.
He recalled the incident with a pleasant frankness which left her unconvinced.
Suddenly it came over her that she had had enough of himmore than was good for her, and she sat up straight, primly retying her neckerchief.
"To-morrow?" he was saying, too civilly; but on her way to the pavilion she could not remember what she had replied, or how she had rid herself of him.
Inside the pavilion she saw Hamil and Shiela Cardross, already dressed, watching the lively occupants of the swimming-pool; and she exchanged a handshake with the former and a formal nod with the latter.
"Garret, your aunt is worrying because somebody told her that there are snakes in the district where you are at work. Come in some evening and reassure her." And to Shiela: "So sorry you cannot come to my luncheon, Miss Cardross.You are Miss Cardross, aren't you? I've been told otherwise."
Hamil looked up, pale and astounded; but Shiela answered, undisturbed:
"My sister Cecile is the younger; yes, I am Miss Cardross."
And Hamil realised there had been two ways of interpreting Virginia's question, and he reddened, suddenly appalled at his own knowledge and at his hasty and gross conclusions.
If Shiela noticed the quick changes in his face she did not appear to, nor the curious glance that Virginia cast at him.
"So sorry," said Miss Suydam again, "for if you are going to be so much engaged to-day you will no doubt also miss the tea for that pretty Mrs. Ascott."
"No," said Shiela, "I wouldn't think of missing that." And carelessly to Hamil: "As you and I have nothing on hand to-day, I'll take you over to meet Mrs. Ascott if you like."
Which was a notice to Virginia that Miss Cardross had declined her luncheon from deliberate disinclination.
Hamil, vaguely conscious that all was not as agreeable as the surface of things indicated, said cordially that he'd be very glad to go anywhere with Shiela to meet anybody, adding to Virginia that he'd heard of Mrs. Ascott but could not remember when or where.
"Probably you've heard of her often enough from Louis Malcourt," said Virginia. "He and I were just recalling his frenzied devotion to her in the Adirondacks; that," she added smilingly to Shiela, "was before Mrs. Ascott got her divorce from her miserable little French count and resumed her own name. She was the most engaging creature when Mr. Malcourt and I met her two years ago."
Shiela, who had been listening with head partly averted and grave eyes following the antics of the divers in the pool, turned slowly and encountered Virginia's smile with a straight, cold gaze of utter distrust.
Nothing was said for a moment; then Virginia spoke smilingly again to Hamil concerning his aunt's uneasiness, turned toward Shiela, exchanged formal adieux with her, and walked on toward her dressing-room and shower. Hamil and Miss Cardross turned the other way.
When Shiela was seated in her double wheel-chair with Hamil beside her, she looked up through her veil unsmiling into his serious face.
"Did you notice anything particularly impertinent in Miss Suydam's question?" she asked quietly.
"What question?"
"When she asked me whether I was Miss Cardross."
The slow colour again burned his bronzed skin. He made no reply, nor did she await any after a silent consideration of his troubled face.
"Where did you hear about me?" she asked.
She had partly turned in her seat, resting both gloved hands on the crook of her folded sunshade, and leaning a little toward him.
"Don't ask me," he said; "whatever I heard I heard unwillingly"
"You have heard?"
He did not answer.
The remainder of the journey was passed in silence. On the road they met Mrs. Cardross and Jessie Carrick driving to a luncheon; later, Gray passed in his motor with his father.
"I have an idea that you and I are to lunch alone," said Hamil as they reached the house; and so it turned out, for Malcourt was going off with Portlaw somewhere and Cecile was dressing for Virginia's luncheon.
"Did you care to go with me to the Ascott-O'Hara function?" asked Shiela, pausing on the terrace. Her voice was listless, her face devoid of animation.
"I don't care where I go if I may go with you," he said, with a new accent of intention in his voice which did not escape her.
She went slowly up the stairs untying her long veil as she mounted. Cecile in a bewildering hat and gown emerged upon the terrace before Shiela reappeared, and found Hamil perched upon the coquina balustrade, poring over a pocketful of blue-prints; and she said very sweetly: "Good-bye, my elder brother. Will you promise to take the best of care of our little sister Shiela while I'm away?"
"The very best," he said, sliding feet foremost to the terrace. "Heavens, Cecile, you certainly are bewitching in those clothes!"
"It is what they were built for, brother," she said serenely. "Good-bye; we won't shake hands on account of my gloves.... Do be nice to Shiela. She isn't very gay these daysI don't know why. I believe she has rather missed you."
Hamil tucked her into her chair, the darky pedalled off; then the young man returned to the terrace where presently a table for two was brought and luncheon announced as Shiela Cardross appeared.
Hamil displayed the healthy and undiscriminating appetite of a man who is too busy mentally and physically to notice what he eats and drinks; Shiela touched nothing except fruit. She lighted his cigarette for him before the coffee, and took one herself, turning it thoughtfully over and over between her delicately shaped fingers; but at a glance of inquiry from him:
"No, I don't," she said; "it burns my tongue. Besides I may some day require it as a novelty to distract meso I'll wait."
She rose a moment later, and stood, distrait, looking out across the sunlit world. He at her elbow, head bent, idly watched the smoke curling upward from his cigarette.
Presently, as though moved by a common impulse, they turned together, slowly traversed the terrace and the long pergola all crimson and white with bougainvillia and jasmine, and entered the jungle road beyond the courts where carved seats of coquina glimmered at intervals along the avenue of oaks and palmettos and where stone-edged pools reflected the golden green dusk of the semi-tropical foliage above.
On the edge of one of these basins the girl seated herself; without her hat and gloves and in a gown which exposed throat and neck she always looked younger and more slender to him, the delicate modelling of the neck and its whiteness was accentuated by the silky growth of the brown hair which close to the nape and brow was softly blond like a child's.
The frail, amber-tinted little dragon-flies of the South came hovering over the lotus bloom that edged the basin; long, narrow-shaped butterflies whose velvet-black wings were barred with brilliant stripes of canary yellow fluttered across the forest aisle; now and then a giant papilio sailed high under the arched foliage on tiger-striped wings of chrome and black, or a superb butterfly in pearl white and malachite green came flitting about the sparkle-berry bloom.
The frail, amber-tinted little dragon-flies of the South came hovering over the lotus bloom that edged the basin; long, narrow-shaped butterflies whose velvet-black wings were barred with brilliant stripes of canary yellow fluttered across the forest aisle; now and then a giant papilio sailed high under the arched foliage on tiger-striped wings of chrome and black, or a superb butterfly in pearl white and malachite green came flitting about the sparkle-berry bloom.
The girl nodded toward it. "That is a scarce butterfly here," she said. "Gray would be excited. I wish we had his net here."
"It is the Victorina, isn't it?" he asked, watching the handsome, nervous-winged creature which did not seem inclined to settle on the white flowers.
"Yes, the Victorina steneles. Are you interested?"
"The generation I grew up with collected," he said. "I remember my cabinet, and some of the names. But I never saw any fellows of this sort in the North."
"Your memory is good?"
"Yes," he said, "for what I care about"he looked up at her"for those I care about my memory is good, I never forget kindnessnor confidence givennor a fault forgiven."
She bent forward, elbows on knees, chin propped on both linked hands.
"Do you understand now," she said, "why I could not afford the informality of our first meeting? What you have heard about me explains why I can scarcely afford to discard convention, does it not, Mr. Hamil?"
She went on, her white fingers now framing her face and softly indenting the flushed skin:
"I don't know who has talked to you, or what you have heard; but I knew by your expressionthere at the swimming-poolthat you had heard enough to embarrass you andand hurt me very, very keenly."
"Calypso!" he broke out impulsively; but she shook her head. "Let me tell you if it must be told, Mr. Hamil.... Father and mother are dreadfully sensitive; I have only known about it for two years; two years ago they told mehad to tell me.... Wellit still seems hazy and incredible.... I was educated in a French conventif you know what that means. All my life I have been guardedsheltered from knowledge of evil; I am still unprepared to comprehend And I am still very ignorant; I know that.... So you see how it was with me; a girl awakened to such self-knowledge cannot grasp it entirelycannot wholly convince herself except at momentsat night. Sometimeswhen a crisis threatensand one has lain awake long in the dark"
She gathered her knees in her arms and stared at the patch of sunlight that lay across the hem of her gown, leaving her feet shod in gold.
"I don't know how much difference it really makes to the world. I suppose I shall learnif people are to discuss me. How much difference does it make, Mr. Hamil?"
"It makes none to me"
"The world extends beyond your pleasant comradeship," she said. "How does the world regard a woman of no originwhose very name is a charity"
"Shiela!"
"W-what?" she said, trying to smile; and then slowly laid her head in her hands, covering her face.
She had given way, very silently, for as he bent close to her he felt the tearful aroma of her uneven breaththe feverish flush on cheek and hand, the almost imperceptible tremor of her slender bodyrather close to him now.
When she had regained her composure, and her voice was under command, she straightened up, face averted.
"You are quite perfect, Mr. Hamil; you have not hurt me with one misguided and well-intended word. That is exactly as it should be between usmust always be."
"Of course," he said slowly.
She nodded, still looking away from him. "Let us each enjoy our own griefs unmolested. You have yours?"
"No, Shiela, I haven't any griefs."
"Come to me when you have; I shall not humiliate you with words to shame your intelligence and my own. If you suffer you suffer; but it is well to be near a friendnot too near, Mr. Hamil."
"Not too near," he repeated.
"No; that is unendurable. The counter-irritant to grief is sanity, not emotion. When a woman is a little frightened the presence of the unafraid is what steadies her."
She looked over her shoulder into the water, reached down, broke off a blossom of wild hyacinth, and, turning, drew it through the button-hole of his coat.
"You certainly are very sweet to me," she said quietly. And, laughing a little: "The entire family adores you with pillsand I've now decorated you with the lovely curse of our Southern rivers. Butthere are no such things as weeds; a weed is only a miracle in the wrong place.... Wellshall we walk and moralise or remain here and make cat-cradle conversation? You are looking at me very solemnly."
"I was thinking"
"What?"
"That, perhaps, I never before knew a girl as well as I know you."
"Not even Miss Suydam?"
"Lord, no! I never dreamed of knowing herI mean her real self. You understand, she and I have always taken each other for grantednever with any genuine intimacy."
"Oh! Andthisoursis genuine intimacy?"
"Is it not?"
For a moment her teeth worried the bright velvet of her lip, then meeting his gaze:
"I mean to behonestwith you," she said with a tremor in her voice; but her regard wavered under his. "I mean to be," she repeated so low he scarcely heard her. Then with a sudden animation a little strained: "When this winter has become a memory let it be a happy one for you and me. And by the same token you and I had better think about dressing. You don't mind, do you, if I take you to meet Mrs. Ascott?she was Countess de Caldelis; it's taken her years to secure her divorce."
Hamil remembered the little dough-faced, shrimp-limbed count when he first came over with the object of permitting somebody to support him indefinitely so that later, in France, he could in turn support his mistresses in the style to which they earnestly desired to become accustomed.
And now the American girl who had been a countess was back, a little wiser, a little harder, and more cynical, with some of the bloom rubbed off, yet much of her superficial beauty remaining.
"Alida Ascott," murmured Shiela. "Jessie was a bridesmaid. Poor little girl!I'm glad she's free. There were no children," she said, looking up at Hamil; "in that case a decent girl is justified! Don't you think so?"
"Yes, I do," he said, smiling; "I'm not one of those who believe that such separations threaten us with social disintegration."
"Nor I. Almost every normal woman desires to live decently. She has a right to. All young girls are ignorant. If they begin with a dreadful but innocent mistake does the safety of society require of them the horror of lifelong degradation? Then the safety of such a society is not worth the sacrifice. That is my opinion."
"That settles a long-vexed problem," he said, laughing at her earnestness.
But she looked at him, unsmiling, while he spoke, hands clasped in her lap, the fingers twisting and tightening till the rose-tinted nails whitened.
Men have only a vague idea of women's ignorance; how naturally they are inclined to respond to a man; how the dominating egotism of a man and his confident professions and his demands confuse them; how deeply his appeals for his own happiness stir them to pity.... They have heard of loveand they do not know. If they ever dream of it it is not what they have imagined when a man suddenly comes crashing through the barriers of friendship and stuns them with an incoherent recital of his own desires. And yet, in spite of the shock, it is with them instinctive to be kind. No woman can endure an appeal unmoved; except for them there would be no beggars; their charity is not a creed: it is the essence of them, the beginning of all things for themand the end.