You have wished and we have tried, said Rachel, with a sigh.
Yes, Rachel, said Grace; but with all drawbacks, all disappointments in ourselves, it is a great blessing. We would not be without it.
I could not be satisfied in relinquishing it voluntarily, said Rachel, but I am necessarily one of the idle. Were I one of the occupied, laborare est orare would satisfy me, and that poor governess ought to feel the same. Think of the physical reaction of body on mind, and tell me if you could have the barbarity of depriving that poor jaded thing of an hours sleep, giving her an additional walk, fasting, in all weathers, and preparing her to be savage with the children.
Perhaps it refreshes her, and hinders her from being cross.
Maybe she thinks so; but if she have either sense or ear, nothing would so predispose her to be cross as the squeaking of Mr. Touchetts penny-whistle choir.
Poor Mr. Touchett, sighed Mrs. Curtis; I wish he would not make such ambitious attempts.
But you like the choral service, said Fanny, feeling as if everything had turned round. When all the men of a regiment chant together you cannot think how grand it is, almost finer than the cathedral.
Yes, where you can do it, said Rachel, but not where you cant.
I wish you would not talk about it, said Grace.
I must, or Fanny will not understand the state of parties at Avonmouth.
Parties! Oh, I hope not.
My dear child, party spirit is another word for vitality. So you thought the church we sighed for had made the place all we sighed to see it, and ourselves too. Oh! Fanny is this what you have been across the world for?
What is wrong? asked Fanny, alarmed.
Do you remember our axiom? Build your church, and the rest will take care of itself. You remember our scraping and begging, and how that good Mr. Davison helped us out and brought the endowment up to the needful point for consecration, on condition the incumbency was given to him. He held it just a year, and was rich, and could help out his bad health with a curate. But first he went to Madeira, and then he died, and there we are, a perpetual curacy of £70 a year, no resident gentry but ourselves, a fluctuating population mostly sick, our poor demoralized by them, and either crazed by dissent, or heathenized by their former distance from church. Who would take us? No more Mr. Davisons! There was no more novelty, and too much smartness to invite self-devotion. So we were driven from pillar to post till we settled down into this Mr. Touchett, as good a being as ever lived, working as hard as any two, and sparing neither himself nor any one else.
Fanny looked up prepared to admire.
But he has two misfortunes. He was not born a gentleman, and his mind does not measure an inch across.
Rachel, my dear, it is not fair to prejudice Fanny; I am sure the poor man is very well-behaved.
Mother! would you be calling the ideal Anglican priest, poor man?
I thought he was quite gentlemanlike, added Fanny.
Gentlemanlike! ay, thats it, said Rachel, just so like as to delight the born curatolatress, like Grace and Miss Williams.
Would it hurt the children? asked Fanny, hardly comprehending the tremendous term.
Yes, if it infected you, said Rachel, intending some playfullness. A mother of contracted mind forfeits the allegiance of her sons.
Oh, Rachel, I know I am weak and silly, said the gentle young widow, terrified, but the Major said if I only tried to do my duty by them I should be helped.
And I will help you, Fanny, said Rachel. All that is requisite is good sense and firmness, and a thorough sense of responsibility.
That is what is so dreadful. The responsibility of all those dear fatherless boys, and ifif I should do wrong by them.
Poor Fanny fell into an uncontrollable fit of weeping at the sense of her own desolation and helplessness, and Mrs. Curtis came to comfort her, and tell her affectionately of having gone through the like feelings, and of the repeated but most comfortable words of promise to the fatherless and the widowwords that had constantly come before the sufferer, but which had by no means lost their virtue by repetition, and Fanny was soothed with hearing instances of the special Providence over orphaned sons, and their love and deference for their mother. Rachel, shocked and distressed at the effect of her sense, retired out of the conversation, till at the announcement of the carriage for Lady Temple, her gentle cousin cheered up, and feeling herself to blame for having grieved one who only meant aid and kindness, came to her and fondly kissed her forehead, saying, I am not vexed, dear Rachel, I know you are right. I am not clever enough to bring them up properly, but if I try hard, and pray for them, it may be made up to them. And you will help me, Rachel dear, she added, as her readiest woe-offering for her tears, and it was the most effectual, for Rachel was perfectly contented as long as Fanny was dependent on her, and allowed her to assume her mission, provided only that the counter influence could be averted, and this Major, this universal referee, be eradicated from her foolish clinging habits of reliance before her spirits were enough recovered to lay her heart open to danger.
But the more Rachel saw of her cousin, the more she realized this peril. When she went down on Monday morning to complete the matters of business that had been slurred over on the Saturday, she found that Fanny had not the slightest notion what her own income was to be. All she knew was that her General had left everything unreservedly to herself, except £100 and one of his swords to Major Keith, who was executor to the will, and had gone to London to see about it, by which word poor Fanny expressed all the business that her maintenance depended on. If an old general wished to put a major in temptation, could he have found a better means of doing so? Rachel even thought that Fannys incapacity to understand business had made her mistake the terms of the bequest, and that Sir Stephen must have secured his property to his children; but Fanny was absolutely certain that this was not the case, for she said the Major had made her at once sign a will dividing the property among them, and appointing himself and her Aunt Curtis their guardians. I did not like putting such a charge on my dear aunt, said Fanny, but the Major said I ought to appoint a relation, and I had no one else! And I knew you would all be good to them, if they had lost me too, when baby was born.
We would have tried, said Rachel, a little humbly, but oh! I am glad you are here, Fanny!
Nothing could of course be fixed till the Major had seen about it. After which he was to come to let Lady Temple know the result; but she believed he would first go to Scotland to see his brother. He and his brother were the only survivors of a large family, and he had been on foreign service for twelve years, so that it would be very selfish to wish him not to take full time at home. Selfish, thought Rachel; if he will only stay away long enough, you shall learn, my dear, how well you can do without him!
The boys had interrupted the conversation less than the previous one, because the lesser ones were asleep, or walking out, and the elder ones having learnt that a new week was to be begun steadily with lessons, thought it advisable to bring themselves as little into notice as possible; but fate was sure to pursue them sooner or later, for Rachel had come down resolved on testing their acquirements, and deciding on the method to be pursued with them; and though their mamma, with a curtain instinctive shrinking both for them and for herself, had put off the ordeal to the utmost by listening to all the counsel about her affairs, it was not to be averted.
Now, Fanny, since it seems that more cannot be done at present, let us see about the childrens education. Where are their books?
We have very few books, said Fanny, hesitating; we had not much choice where we were.
You should have written to me for a selection.
Whyso we would, but there was always a talk of sending Conrade and Francis home. I am afraid you will think them very backward, dear Rachel, especially Francie; but it is not their fault, dear children, and they are not used to strangers, added Fanny, nervously.
I do not mean to be a stranger, said Rachel.
And while Fanny, in confusion, made loving protestations about not meaning that, Rachel stepped out upon the lawn, and in her clear voice called Conrade, Francis! No answer. She called Conrade again, and louder, then turned round with where can they benot gone down on the beach?
Oh, dear no, I trust not, said the mother, flurried, and coming to the window with a call that seemed to Rachels ears like the roar of a sucking dove.
But from behind the bushes forth came the two young gentlemen, their black garments considerably streaked with the green marks of laurel climbing.
Oh, my dears, what figures you are! Go to Coombe and get yourselves brushed, and wash your hands, and then come down, and bring your lesson books.
Rachel prognosticated that these preparations would be made the occasion, of much waste of time; but she was answered, and with rather surprised eyes, that they had never been allowed to come into the drawing-room without looking like little gentlemen.
But you are not living in state here, said Rachel; I never could enter into the cult some people, mamma especially, pay to their drawing-room.
The Major used to be very particular about their not coming to sit down untidy, said Fanny. He said it was not good for anybody.
Martinet! thought Rachel, nearly ready to advocate the boys making no toilette at any time; and the present was made to consume so much time that, urged by her, Fanny once more was obliged to summon her boys and their books.
It was not an extensive school librarya Latin grammar an extremely dilapidated spelling-book, and the fourth volume of Mrs. Marcets Little Willie. The other threeone was unaccounted for, but Cyril had torn up the second, and Francis had thrown the first overboard in a passion. Rachel looked in dismay. I dont know what can be done with these! she said.
Oh, then well have holidays till we have got books, mamma, said Conrade, putting his hands on the sofa, and imitating a kicking horse.
It is very necessary to see what kind of books you ought to have, returned Rachel. How far have you gone in this?
I say, mamma, reiterated Conrade, we cant do lessons without books.
Attend to what your Aunt Rachel says, my dear; she wants to find out what books you should have.
Yes, let me examine you.
Conrade came most inconveniently close to her; she pushed her chair back; he came after her. His mother uttered a remonstrating, My dear!
I thought she wanted to examine me, quoth Conrade. When Dr. MVicar examines a thing, he puts it under a microscope.
It was said gravely, and whether it were malice or simplicity, Rachel was perfectly unable to divine, but she thought anyway that Fanny had no business to laugh, and explaining the species of examination that she intended, she went to work. In her younger days she had worked much at schools, and was really an able and spirited teacher, liking the occupation; and laying hold of the first book in her way, she requested Conrade to read. He obeyed, but in such a detestable gabble that she looked up appealingly to Fanny, who suggested, My dear, you can read better than that. He read four lines, not badly, but then broke off, Mamma, are not we to have ponies? Coombe heard of a pony this morning; it is to be seen at the Jolly Mariner, and he will take us to look at it.
The Jolly Mariner! It is a dreadful place, Fanny, you never will let them go there?
My dear, the Major will see about your ponies when he comes.
We will send the coachman down to inquire, added Rachel.
He is only a civilian, and the Major always chooses our horses, said Conrade.
And I am to have one too, mamma, added Francis. You know I have been out four times with the staff, and the Major said I could ride as well as Con!
Reading is what is wanted now, my dear, go on.
Five lines more; but Francis and his mother were whispering together, and of course Conrade stopped to listen. Rachel saw there was no hope but in getting him alone, and at his mothers reluctant desire, he followed her to the dining-room; but there he turned dogged and indifferent, made a sort of feint of doing what he was told, but whether she tried him in arithmetic, Latin, or dictation, he made such ludicrous blunders as to leave her in perplexity whether they arose from ignorance or impertinence. His spelling was phonetic to the highest degree, and though he owned to having done sums, he would not, or did not answer the simplest question in mental arithmetic. Five apples and eight apples, come, Conrade, what will they make?
A pie.
That was the hopeful way in which the examination proceeded, and when Rachel attempted to say that his mother would be much displeased, he proceeded to tumble head over heels all round the room, as if he knew better; which performance broke up the seance, with a resolve on her part that when she had the books she would not be so beaten. She tried Francis, but he really did know next to nothing, and whenever he came to a word above five letters long stopped short, and when told to spell it, said, Mamma never made him spell; also muttering something depreciating about civilians.
Rachel was a woman of perseverance. She went to the booksellers, and obtained a fair amount of books, which she ordered to be sent to Lady Temples. But when she came down the next morning, the parcel was nowhere to be found. There was a grand interrogation, and at last it turned out to have been safely deposited in an empty dog-kennel in the back yard. It was very hard on Rachel that Fanny giggled like a school-girl, and even though ashamed of herself and her sons, could not find voice to scold them respectably. No wonder, after such encouragement, that Rachel found her mission no sinecure, and felt at the end of her mornings work much as if she had been driving pigs to market, though the repetition was imposing on the boys a sort of sense of fate and obedience, and there was less active resistance, though learning it was not, only letting teaching be thrown at them. All the rest of the day, except those two hours, they ran wild about the house, garden, and beachthe latter place under the inspection of Coombe, whom, since the Jolly Mariner proposal, Rachel did not in the least trust; all the less when she heard that Major Keith, whose soldier-servant he had originally been, thought very highly of him. A call at Myrtlewood was formidable from the bear-garden sounds, and delicate as Lady Temple was considered to be, unable to walk or bear fatigue, she never appeared to be incommoded by the uproar in which she lived, and had even been seen careering about the nursery, or running about the garden, in a way that Grace and Rachel thought would tire a strong woman. As to a tete-a-tete with her, it was never secured by anything short of Rachels strong will, for the children were always with her, and she went to bed, or at any rate to her own room, when they did, and she was so perfectly able to play and laugh with them that her cousins scarcely thought her sufficiently depressed, and comparing her with what their own mother had been after ten months widowhood, agreed that after all she had been very young, and Sir Stephen very old, and perhaps too much must not be expected of her.