He sniffs, slips a hand inside his pants and lightly touches his cock and balls.
He pauses for a few moments as he looks at himself in the mirror and tells himself hes not an ugly man. Sure, he could improve things if he took a little more pride in his appearance,
but hes OK like this. A glance over at his favourite meal in the corner. All that matters is that he always gets what he wants.
And he has.
But he doesnt fancy it right now.
Perhaps his appetite will return after a cold shower.
He scratches at his beard. He hasn't shaved for...goodness knows how many days.
He turns on the cold tap, cups his hands under the stream and splashes the water over his face, which is either just tired or numb from those fucking tranquilisers.
He turns the tap off and watches as the drops of water fall from his face. He takes off his dirty t-shirt, uses it to dry himself off and tosses it casually onto the bed.
Before getting in the tiny shower, he again casts his eyes over to the shape in the corner and realises he is changing his mind.
His hunger is returning.
He wants to gorge himself like an animal that has just emerged from hibernation. The thought prompts a twinge inside his pants.
Behave! he tells himself.
His breathing starts to become heavy and laboured. Beads of sweat begin to form on his brow. Hes getting aroused; it always happens like this.
Another glance at the shape in the corner. Another little fiddle downstairs. His mouth begins to water.
Later! Shes not going anywhere, he tells himself. Shes all yours...
All mine!
He smiles because he knows it's the truth.
He takes a deep breath, lets his pants fall to the floor and uses his tongue to suck the air through his teeth. He loves the feeling it gives him, the sensation on his teeth and gums.
He enters the shower, lifts up the mixer tap and turns it all the way to the right. He wants it ice cold, like always.
As the water beats down relentlessly on his muscular back, he begins to anticipate what will happen when he has finished washing himself.
The saliva begins to taste sweet in his mouth and the urge in his groin becomes uncontrollable.
Thankfully, its nearly time to get out of the shower...
CHAPTER 4
Is it really me that should be ashamed?
Chantal poured herself a glass of sparkling mineral water and sipped it slowly but determinedly, fuelling herself with some non-alcoholic Dutch courage.
It's them who should be ashamed, paying me a pittance for two years and...
There was a thud as she angrily thumped her fist on the table.
...and then letting me go. Morons!
Chantal became enraged every time she thought back to when she was fired, or, more accurately, they refused to renew her contract. What pissed her off the most was the shame she felt at being unemployed and living off benefits of four hundred euros a month.
Four hundred euros...
She'd dedicated her life to her studies for four hundred shitty euros a month. Oh, and an Economics degree. Which she could use for...making a paper aeroplane or maybe wiping her arse. Oh yes. That was Italy in 2016. On the one hand, there were people with a career spanning more than forty years who weren't about to retire anytime soon; and on the other, there were millions of young people who would give their eye teeth for a job - any bloody job.
Unfortunately for Chantal, she was one of those young people.
She took out a fag, went into her bedroom and switched on the computer. Her long, drawn-out drags meant she was down to the butt in no time.
Chantal opened the chat site and tried to think how she could possibly explain her plight to AlfreDario77.
There was an unread message.
03/02/2016
AlfreDario77 20.32
Fine...you could have just said if you didn't want to chat anymore. If your manners ever come back, you know where I am.
Fair enough, she said to the screen. I'd have been pissed off if someone had done that to me.
She took another puff and drummed her fingers on the desk, trying desperately to think of how she could respond.
04/02/2016
SadChantal 10.15
Hi...
Im so sorry about last night. Its not that I didn't want to keep talking to you. Something came up.
That was fine to start with, while she waited for some inspiration on how she could deal with the whole work thing. Also, she wanted to be sure he was online, which would be confirmed by the little green circle next to his name.
She casually rolled the wheel of her mouse to scroll up the screen in search of yesterday's messages.
It might not be the most fun and light-hearted topic for most people, but it is for me. What do you do? For work, I mean.
And then...
Dont tell me Ive touched another nerve with work!
She decided to try and respond to that final comment, which was probably the easiest to cope with. She wrote her message but waited a couple of minutes before sending it, hoping he would come online.
Nothing.
She opted to finish the fag with a triple drag that brought tears to her eyes, before stubbing it out firmly in the ash tray, steeling herself and decisively hitting the return key to send her message.
04/02/2016
SadChantal 10.18
You're right. You did touch a nerve as far as my work is concerned :-(
She focused on what to type next, her fingers once more drumming against the desk. The sentences were beginning to form in her mind. She was almost there when she was distracted by a familiar ping.
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.19
Hey...welcome back! You took your time...
04/02/2016
SadChantal 10.20
Sorry again about last night...
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.20
No problem!
Chantal thought about what to say next, but he beat her to it.
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.20
So I did touch a nerve with work? I'm sorry. I'm all ears if you want to offload...
She knew it was time to come clean. If there was anyone who should be ashamed of themselves it was those tossers at Robobi's, who had refused to renew her contract after turning her brain to mush for two years with bills, receipts, tax returns, payslips and whatever else.
Bastards!
Her jaw tightened every time she thought about it.
04/02/2016
SadChantal 10.22
I've been out of work for 5 months...
Only eight words, but that was all that needed saying for now.
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.22
Sorry to hear that
04/02/2016
SadChantal 10.23
Tell me about it:-(
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.23
Do you know what? I might be able to help you out...
04/02/2016
SadChantal 10.23
Really?
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.25
I run a B&B in Grosseto, Tuscany. It's mine, I own it. Last year, the girl that was helping me out decided to move on. So I'm looking for a willing replacement.
04/02/2016
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.26
What do you think? Would you be interested? Do you know anything about the hospitality sector?
Chantal stared at the monitor for ages. She couldn't believe it. She'd sent off dozens of copies of her CV without managing to get an interview. In fact, no one had even bothered to reply. And here she was, chatting with some guy she'd only met two days ago, and he was offering her a job.
Hardly local though, was it? Tuscany, for goodness' sake.
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.29
Done another disappearing act, have you? If you're not interested, there's no need to turn off your PC! You can just tell me :-)
Chantal chastised herself for taking so long to reply. She took a deep breath.
04/02/2016
SadChantal 10.30
Sounds incredible! A B&B! I did some bar work for a few years...is that any good?
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.31
Perfect. It's not quite the same thing but at least you wouldn't be starting from scratch.
04/02/2016
SadChantal 10.32
If your B&B was in somewhere in the Brescia area, I could come for a trial. But Tuscany...blimey! That's a hell of a long way...
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.33
I know it's quite far. But it's not as if you'd have to go back to Brescia every night. You'd have board and lodging on top of your salary. A bedroom and bathroom all to yourself.
04/02/2016
SadChantal 10.35
I'd have to drop everything...leave my hometown...
Chantal realised what she'd written was total bollocks. It may have been a throwaway comment, but more likely she was lying to herself about the tragedy of the previous twelve months. Drop everything? She didn't have anything to drop.
She wondered if he'd figured as much. Right from the off, she'd spilled her guts and basically let him know that she was on her own.
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.38
It might do you good. Draw a line in the sand, turn over a new leaf...
Look, I don't want to pressure you. I know it's a tough decision. You'll need time.
04/02/2016
SadChantal 10.39
You're right...it's not an easy decision. Give me a couple of days, OK?
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.40
Take all the time you need.
Chantal reflected on what had just happened. It was a great opportunity, but she'd need to be brave. Drop everything (even if it was nothing) and go to Tuscany.
She had been on several trips with Giulio, all fairly far away. She'd been to some beautiful places, some on the other side of the world. But Tuscany, which was just down the road in comparison, was somewhere she'd never been.
04/02/2016
SadChantal 10.42
I'll just say thanks for the offer at the moment. I'll have a think about it and let you know as soon as possible. Is that OK?
04/02/2016
AlfreDario77 10.44
Like I said, there's no rush. Take as long as you need, within reason! The season gets under way in about a month's time. People start to arrive at the beginning of spring.
Chantal closed the chat window and decided to treat herself to some peace and quiet and a smoke before heading to the shopping precinct to buy some lunch. Trouble was, there was no peace and quiet to be had: a voice inside her head kept asking the same questions over and over.
Do I? Don't I? Do I? Don't I? Do I? Don't I? Do I? Don't I? Do I? Don't I?
She may have told this guy she needed a few days to think it over, but Chantal knew deep down that she'd already made up her mind.
CHAPTER 5
The key turned twice in the lock and the door opened.
She entered her flat, food shopping in one hand and purse in the other. She raised one foot behind her and kicked the door shut, before dumping her shopping bag in the kitchen and heading towards the bathroom. But as she walked through the living room, something caught her eye.
She froze and stared at the photo.
Her mouth turned down at the corners and she began to weep.
She made no effort to wipe away her tears as she drew nearer the photo frame. Her stomach tightened.
She took another two steps closer to the photo of the woman, who appeared to be smiling right at her, and swallowed tearfully. She raised her hand to her mouth and bit down on her knuckles.
"Mam..." she sobbed. "Mamma."
She sniffed and turned once more to face the woman in the photo, as if she could hear her.
"I miss you so much, you know?"
She gave in to the anguish and broke down in floods of tears, leaving herself drained but somehow liberated.
As the torment began to subside, her lips forced themselves into a wry smile as she remembered how much joy her mother had brought her.
Chantal was in Year 6. Until that year she had always been shy around boys, but in Year 6 everything changed.
There was a knock on the door during Maths. It was the caretaker, and with her was the most handsome boy Chantal had ever seen. He had fair hair and blue eyes. Just looking at his smile made her feel good.
"This is Davide," the caretaker announced.
The teacher nodded at the caretaker and took up the story. "Davide has come from Veneto. He'll be joining our class from today."
From that moment on, Chantal learned nothing more about decimals, fractions, multiplication or division. From the minute he entered the classroom, she didn't take her eyes off that boy for a second.
Within weeks, it was as if they'd known each other all their lives, grown up together and played the same games in the same playground.
One breaktime, he asked her to follow him. So she did. He led her almost to the bottom of the park, where there stood two enormous trees. He told her to close her eyes and count to ten before opening them again.
"Why?" she asked, bursting with intrigue.
"I have a surprise for you," Davide announced, flashing her that smile of his.
"You're not going to play a trick on me, are you?"
"No! Trust me. Just close your eyes."
Chantal closed her eyes and began to count.
One, two, three...
Just as she reached nine, her voice was smothered as something pressed against her lips. She was startled and wanted to open her eyes, but she realised what was happening and kept them closed.
Not only that, she reciprocated.
It was her first kiss. Their magical moment was rudely interrupted by the sound of the school bell. As she opened her eyes, he said: "I like you."
They returned to class in silence, totally wrapped up in each other, and as the lesson unfolded Chantal was certain that she knew less then than she had when she'd first laid eyes on Davide.
At the end of school, she got on the bus and went home. She couldn't eat a thing: her stomach was so full of butterflies flitting about that there was no room for anything else.
Her mother asked her what the matter was, and suddenly she had a crazy thought. Her expression turned sullen and her mother urged her to get whatever was bothering her off her chest.
Chantal was afraid her mother would shout at her, but eventually she decided to speak.
She said she was worried she was pregnant.
"Pregnant?" her mother repeated, with eyes as wide as saucers. "And what makes you think you might be pregnant?"