«I gave you what you wanted!» heâll tell her later, when heâs found out.
But let's see how the story continues
While she plans her trip to Kabul, he begins to devise a tour of his own around Italy. Get to know Rimini, go to the sea together; see Rome and Venice while theyâre on their honeymoon full of happiness.
Melania changes her plans for exotic excursions shifting them towards cultural explorations in the Vatican museums and romantic getaways in the narrow streets of Venice. What does it matter! America and Asia can wait, the important thing is to have her beloved John at her side!
The fact is that the American is becoming very keen to travel to Italy and live there, to start a new life in the âBel Paeseâ with his beloved Melania; to be together, love each other, be happy, and start a family. He is so involved in this perspective of life together as a couple that the next step becomes decisive: leave the American army. Resign, leave permanently.
«But are you sure? - she asks - The choice youâre making is forever. Wonât you regret it?»
Melanie is a little worried, but very flattered by the fact that a man like him would completely change all his life plans for her.
«Regret it?» says John. «Regret wanting a life with an adorable woman in a wonderful country like Italy? Iâd regret it bitterly, a thousand times over, if I didnât take this step. Straight away, now. And Iâm tired, fed up of the dry land where my military boots tread. Iâm tired of war and blood!
I want to see blue skies, Italyâs turquoise sea, your hazel eyes with specks of gold, Melania my love!».
The request for money
At this point, all of you reading this, would have woken up from the daydream if John had asked you for money, right? Melanie doesn't wake up; but letâs look at their chat exchange:
«Iâve applied for discharge. Theyâve told me theyâll accept my application but with certain conditions.»
«What conditions?»
«They want me to pay something. A sort of penalty.»
«How much?»
«The equivalent of 24 thousand euros in dollars.»
«Well, youâve got it, havenât you?»
«Iâve invested in securities in the United States, itâs money that is tied-up. I havenât got the amount they want, here.»
Melania is upset by this request. Itâs not decorous for a man to ask his woman for money. Sheâs not used to it, because although she can remember many shortcomings of her former husband, he always provided for his family.
She never lacked anything while she lived with her first husband.
A little alarm bell rings faintly in her brain, but her heart overrides the doubts that are surfacing. Because heâs also clever at brushing them aside.
«I donât know if Iâll be able to get that amount together» Melania says, already starting to regret her caution because she has some money put aside, more than the amount John needs.
«Donât do it, my darling, if itâs a problem. I feel rotten asking you to do this. Itâs not right. I have enough savings for both of us in my US accounts. Itâs the man who should always look after his woman! Forget what I said. Weâll find another solution. Iâll stay here a bit longer and weâll postpone meeting for a year until Iâm discharged.»
«A year?». Melania is appalled at the prospect of waiting another year to be able to embrace John. No, she canât wait that long. Because he writes to her assiduously, intense words full of emotion. He tells her how much he loves her, how lonely he feels laying in his bed and hugging his cold pillow; every night he dreams of kissing her and making love to her, then in the morning waking up leaves his soul empty and sad.
So, Melania gives in. She dips into her savings and transfers some money by Western Union. John collects it and disappears. The great love affair ends overnight.
John doesnât really exist. The person writing to Melania is a 23-year-old Nigerian. Heâs part of a gang of crooks who split the loot between them after each romance scam4.
When Melania contacts the police, they tell her she is the third woman from Rimini to be scammed in a few months. But thatâs small consolation to her. As soon as she can she insults the so-called John (online again) and calls him a thief and a scammer. He answers that he gave her what she was looking for and suggests she join him in Nigeria to have some âfunâ. Melania calls him an âanimalâ and ends all contact with him for ever.
No dream could finish in a worse manner. Poor Melania. Sheâs upset about the money - yes - but even more about having fallen for a scam which, with hindsight, seems so obvious to her. «I really am stupid!» she tells herself every morning as she looks in the mirror.
She began treatment because she didnât know what else to do. She closed her Facebook profile. The psychologist told her to avoid the computer and start going for long bike rides again like she used to when she was young, to enrol in a club for environmentalists, artists or whatever she liked, to leave the virtual world alone and get out and meet real people.
Luciana
When Luciana reads the friend request on Facebook, intrigued she thinks âA Frenchman? Heâs not bad actually!â
The man immediately tells her heâs a widower, like Luciana, and he makes a date to chat online with her the following evening.
Sheâs a widow, heâs a widower. Theyâre the same age, both 50 with children. This is how their daily online meetings begin. A very pleasant date for the woman who becomes fond of Vincent (this is the name the self-styled French widower gives her).
According to Lucianaâs tale their date every evening becomes pleasantly unavoidable. The messages he writes are always very polite, he sends her kisses and little hearts, and he also sends a few photos with and without his children. Luciana does the same as she falls in love like a teenager.
«It felt like I was reliving the now forgotten feelings of my youth. He used to send me words of love that Iâd never even read in books. In the end I was completely off my head, to the point that I was unable to tear myself away from my mobile or my computer»5.
Departure for Ivory Coast
Letâs be clear in our minds that Ivory Coast, Senegal, Ghana, are almost always involved in any fake love stories, because these are the places where the swindlers live, and they need to have the money sent there. Our dear Vincent warns Luciana he is about to leave for Ivory Coast for his work as an art dealer. But this is wonderful news for her. Once he has finished his African trip to buy inlaid wooden masks, he will return to France, but not without first stopping off in Italy to embrace his beautiful lover from Rimini.
How exciting! The dream is coming true. Luciana starts to fantasize about their meeting at the airport. Her holding a notice on which she will have written âVINCENTâ in big letters. Him, handsome and elegant, with his suitcase labelled Abidjan, and sunglasses; perhaps a small souvenir for her or her child.
Luciana canât wait, and she begins organising all the details of her welcome for Vincent. âShall I make a banner to put up in the hallway at home? Perhaps not, itâs silly.â
She doesnât want to seem too taken and treat him as if he were the only man on earth. Much better to think about more concrete things like a special dinner, with all her best dishes: saffron-flavoured lasagne, blueberry tart, a good Italian wine. Everything must be simple, but perfect, to welcome the man who is going to change the course of her life. Luciana canât wait to embrace him. She takes up going to the gym again, she lunches on salad and mozzarella. She wants to lose two or three kilos in the time she has left before she meets Vincent.
Luciana becomes more beautiful and her friends notice this. Her eyes sparkle as she tells her story, how lucky she has been to have met a special man on Facebook. A few of her friends speak of caution: «Be careful with social media! Things are not always what they seem!» But Luciana barely listens. She expected these warnings and doesnât take heed. Her happiness springs from having met the man of her life, and her friendsâ gossip will not ruin it for her.
But one day she receives bad news that dampens her contentment, that feeling of being lucky, privileged almost by fate. Vincent sends her a message from Ivory Coast asking her for help. Heâs desperate. His briefcase has been stolen and with it his wallet and credit card, his mobile phone and all the money he had with him. Whatâs more, the thieves chased him by car and while he was trying to get away from them he ran over an 8-year old child who was seriously injured and is now in hospital. At this point, Vincent risks prison if he doesnât immediately pay 2500 euros for medical treatment.
The fog begins to clear in Lucianaâs mind
Many women would have paid, just as they pay in other Romance Scams, but Luciana starts hearing little alarm bells ringing, and she begins asking things, asking, asking: a photo of the run-over child, his name and details, the address and bank coordinates of the hospital where the money is to be transferred.
Vincent is a little offended by her mistrust. He tells her so. Then he patiently explains that the hospital does not accept bank transactions from Europe. The only way to pay is by Money transfer.
The fog clears in Lucianaâs brain and she emails the embassy in Abidjan asking for information about the self-styled Vincent, she provides his FACEBOOK profile, and little else. She discovers the man is an impostor who is known to the police because he is part of a gang specializing in romance scams.
The little alarm bells
Luciana starts adding all the information in her possession together. The alleged Vincent pretends he is French because Ivory Coast, a former colony, uses French as its official language. Heâs never left Abidjan and has pretended to go there, to be able to receive the cash payment in his homeland.
Luciana doesnât send him the money and sheâs clever to realise, in time, that itâs a scam. The request for money sets off a little alarm bell inside her. Intuition and reason prevail over her emotions, and the scammer loses the match he has so laboriously played.
Any woman, anybody - when asked for money - should awake from their romantic obfuscation. The automatic reaction should be: Money = Wake up!
Then tell the unscrupulous looter to sod off. But itâs not easy to let go of the dream. Luciana cries for days on end, after reporting the scam. She says she felt completely stupid, an idiot:
«He used such psychological violence - Luciana explains during an interview - as to literally bring me to my knees. He even used to ask me if Iâd slept well, if Iâd eaten and if Iâd had a good day at work! Itâs obvious that if Iâd been thinking straight I would have understood that it was impossible that there was such a nice polite man who was going to fall in love with someone like me, neither beautiful, nor young; but unfortunately, as the saying goes, love is blind»6.
Mary
Maryâs story is told by her son Lucien. A nasty story, but with a happy ending, if it can be called that when you get your own money back.
Mary has just turned 59 when sheâs contacted by an American sailor who wishes her a happy birthday and asks her to be friends. The man says his name is Michael Miller and heâs 53.
Sheâs been living in Italy for a decade. French by birth, she used to be married to an Italian journalist from whom sheâs divorced. She has a son Lucien, born of her marriage, who is a high school mathematics teacher and who lives in Rome, like his mother.
Michaelâs first contact happens on her birthday. He asks her to be friends, she accepts. He sends her (a photo of) an enormous bouquet of red roses with a happy birthday message in English.
«What did you do for your birthday?» Michael asks her the following day, in bad Italian.
«It was nice! I had dinner with my friends and we had a lovely evening.»
«Do you have a lot of friends? Who do you like? I'm jealous.»
«Do you speak French? - asks Mary - my English is not very good.»
«Avez vous beaucoup d'amis? Qui aimez-vous? je suis jaloux,» he repeats admitting heâs translated the phrase on Google, then he continues the conversation with copy and paste from an online translator.
«Well if youâre using Google just choose Italian - Mary urges him - because in French I feel like I want to correct all your mistakes.»
«Do you have many friends? Who do you like? Iâm jealous.»
«Donât talk nonsense!»
«I canât stop thinking about you. I saw your photo a month ago, but Iâm shy and I only found the courage to contact you with it being your birthday!»
«Really?» asks Mary flattered. «What did you find so attractive in me? Iâm just a normal woman.»
«Normal? Say normal is false. Saying youâre normal is just not true. Youâre beautiful.»
«How old did you say you are?»
«53, and you?»
«Iâm 59, Iâm older than you. Men always look for young girls. What attracts you to such a mature person?»
«Your photo shows me an elegant lady, you're a beautiful woman. Mary, you mustnât underestimate yourself Mary. Look at yourself with loveâs eyes, as I see you, and youâll see youâre beautiful!»
«Love? Youâre going rather fast now!»
«Yes, Iâm going fast, but Iâm following my heart thatâs going even faster than me!»
A week after her birthday Mary has the sensation sheâs known Michael for a long time. He contacts her every day at the same time, and his requests to love her are increasingly persistent. He says nice things, and although his Italian is only approximate, he confesses to her that heâs never felt such overwhelming feelings before. Heâs had other affairs, but nothing important, because heâs always believed that to build a sincere relationship he had to find his soul mate. He believes that God has created an ideal lover for every being on earth, and heâs lucky to have managed to find her and fulfil his dream.