Dear, dear, dear! It is so dreadful! said the father, and he sat down and started to cry, too.
Now the gentleman went down into the cellar too, to see what they were doing there. They three were sitting and crying side by side[54], and the beer was running all over the floor. And he ran and turned the tap.
Then he said, What are you three doing? Why are you sitting and crying?
Oh! says the father, look at that horrid mallet! Just think: if you and our daughter marry, and you have a son, and he grows up and comes down into the cellar to bring the beer, the mallet will fall on his head and kill him. How awful! How awful! And then they all started to cry worse than before.
But the gentleman smiled and took the mallet, and then he said, I travelled many miles, and I never met such big sillies as you three before. Now I shall start my travels again, and when I can find three bigger sillies than you three, then Ill come back and marry your daughter. So he wished them good-bye and went away. The three sillies were all crying because the girl lost her sweetheart.
Well, he travelled a long way, and at last[55] he came to a womans cottage. It had some grass on the roof. And the woman was trying to get her cow to go up a ladder[56] to the grass. So the gentleman asked the woman what she was doing. Look at all that beautiful grass, she said, Im going to feed my cow with it. Oh, you poor silly! said the gentleman, you must cut the grass and throw it down[57] to the cow!
Well, that was one big silly.
Then the gentleman came to an inn. In the morning he saw a strange man. He hang his trousers on the knobs of the chest of drawers[58] and ran across the room and tried to jump into them. At last, he stopped and wiped his face with his handkerchief. Trousers, he says, are the most terrible kind of clothes in the world. Who could invent such things?! I usually spend an hour to get into my trousers every morning! So the gentleman laughed, and showed him how to put the trousers on[59].
So that was another big silly.
Then the gentleman came to a village. Outside the village there was a pond, and round the pond was a crowd of people. And they had rakes, and brooms, and pitchforks, and they were piercing the water of the pond. The gentleman asked what was the matter. Dont you see[60], they say, Moon fell down into the pond, and we cant catch it! So the gentleman laughed and told them to look up into the sky and that it was only the shadow in the water. But they didnt listen to him and abused him.
And he saw more and more sillies, even more than three. So the gentleman came back home again and married the farmers daughter. And if they didnt live happily, thats nothing to do with you or me[61].
The Old Woman and Her Pig
An old woman was sweeping her house, and she found a sixpence. What, said she, shall I do with this little sixpence? I will go to market and buy a little pig.
While she was coming home, she came to a stile, but the pig did not want to go over the stile.
She went a little further, and she met a dog. So she said to the dog, Dog! bite the pig; the pig doesnt go over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the dog refused.
She went a little further, and she met a stick. So she said, Stick! stick! beat the dog! The dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the stick refused.
She went a little further, and she met a fire. So she said, Fire! fire! burn the stick; the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the fire refused.
She went a little further, and she met some water. So she said, Water, water! quench the fire; the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog; the dog doesnt bite the pig; the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the water refused.
She went a little further, and she met an ox. So she said, Ox! ox! drink the water; the water doesnt quench the fire, the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the ox refused.
She went a little further, and she met a butcher. So she said, Butcher! butcher! kill the ox; the ox doesnt drink the water, the water doesnt quench the fire, the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the butcher refused.
She went a little further, and she met a rope. So she said, Rope! rope! hang the butcher, the butcher doesnt kill the ox, the ox doesnt drink the water, the water doesnt quench the fire, the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the rope refused.
She went a little further, and she met a rat. So she said, Rat! rat! gnaw rope, rope doesnt hang the butcher, the butcher doesnt kill the ox, the ox doesnt drink the water, the water doesnt quench the fire, the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the rat refused.
She went a little further, and she met a cat. So she said, Cat! cat! kill the rat, the rat doesnt gnaw the rope, the rope doesnt hang the butcher, the butcher doesnt kill the ox, the ox doesnt drink the water, the water doesnt quench the fire, the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the cat said to her, If you go to that cow and fetch me a saucer of milk, I will kill the rat.
So the old woman went away to the cow.
But the cow said to her, If you go to that haystack and fetch me some hay, Ill give you the milk.
So the old woman went away to the haystack, and she brought the hay to the cow.
When the cow ate the hay, it gave the old woman the milk, and she went with it in a saucer to the cat.
When the cat lapped up[62] the milk, the cat began to kill the rat, the rat began to gnaw the rope, the rope began to hang the butcher, the butcher began to kill the ox, the ox began to drink the water, the water began to quench the fire, the fire began to burn the stick, the stick began to beat the dog, the dog began to bite the pig, the little pig in a fright jumped over the stile, and so the old woman got home that night.
Jack and the Beanstalk
There was once upon a time a poor widow who had a son named Jack and a cow named Milky-white. Every morning the cow gave the milk which they carried to the market and sold. But one morning Milky-white gave no milk, and they didnt know what to do.
What shall we do, what shall we do? said the widow.
What shall we do, what shall we do? said the widow.
Oh, mother, Ill go and get work somewhere, said Jack.
We tried that before, and nobody took you, said his mother. We must sell Milky-white.
All right, mother, says Jack. Ill sell Milky-white, and then well see what we can do.
So he took the cows halter in his hand and went to the market. While he was going, he met an old man who said to him: Good morning, Jack.
Good morning to you, said Jack and wondered how he knew his name.
Jack, where are you going? said the man.
Im going to the market to sell our cow there.
Oh, I have five beans, said the man, and lets change[63]: your cow for these beans.
You swindler, says Jack, it wont go![64]
Ah! you dont know what these beans are, said the man. If you plant them over-night, by morning they grow right up to the sky[65].
Really? says Jack. I dont believe you.
Yes, that is so, and if this is not true, you can have your cow back.
Good, says Jack and gives him over Milky-whites and takes the beans.
Jack came home happily.
So what[66], Jack? said his mother. I see you dont have Milky-white, so you sold her. How much did you get for her?
Youll never guess, mother, says Jack.
Oh no! Good boy! Five pounds, ten, fifteen Or twenty?
No, just look: five magical beans.
What! says Jacks mother. My son is a fool, such a dolt! Oh my dear Milky-white! Take that![67] Take that! Take that! And your precious beans will go out of the window.
So Jack went upstairs to his little room in the attic, and he was very sad. At last he began to sleep.
When he woke up, the room looked so funny. The sun was shining into part of it, and all the rest[68] was quite dark and shady. So Jack jumped up and dressed himself and went to the window. And what do you think he saw? The beans that his mother threw out of the window into the garden sprang up into a big beanstalk[69] which went up and up and up till it reached the sky. So the man spoke truth!
The beanstalk grew up quite close past Jacks window, so Jack opened it and jumped on the beanstalk which was like a big ladder. So Jack climbed and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed till at last he reached the sky. And when he got there, he found a long broad road. So he walked along and he walked along and he walked along till he came to a great big tall house, and on the doorstep there was a great big tall woman.
Good morning, says Jack politely. Could you give me some breakfast? He was as hungry as a hunter[70].
You want breakfast, dont you? says the great big tall woman. Its breakfast youll be if you dont go away.[71] My husband is an ogre, and he likes to eat boys broiled on toast.
Oh! please give me something to eat. Im very hungry, really and truly, says Jack.
The ogres wife was a kind woman. So she took Jack into the kitchen and gave him some bread and some cheese and a jug of milk. Suddenly, Jack heard a terrible noise: someone was coming.
Oh, its my husband, said the ogres wife, what shall I do? Here, come quick and jump in here[72]. And she put Jack into the oven just as the ogre came in.
The ogre was really big. At his belt he had three pigs, and he threw them down on the table and said, Here, wife, broil me a couple of these for breakfast. Ah! Whats this I smell?[73]
Nothing, dear, said his wife. Here, go and have a wash, and by the time you come back[74], your breakfast will be ready for you.
So the ogre went off, and the woman told Jack, Wait till hes asleep; he always sleeps after breakfast.
Well, the ogre had his breakfast, and after that he was asleep. Then Jack crept out from his oven, and while he was passing the ogre, he took one of the bags of gold under his arm and ran to the beanstalk. And then he threw down the bag of gold, which of course fell in to his mothers garden. And then he climbed down and climbed down till at last he got home and told his mother and showed her the gold and said, Well, mother, I was right about the beans. They are really magical, you see.
So they lived on the bag of gold for some time. But at last the gold came to an end, so Jack decided to use the beanstalk again. So one fine morning he got up early and went to the beanstalk, and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed till at last he got on the road again and came to the great big tall house. There was the great big tall woman.
Good morning, says Jack, could you give me something to eat?
Go away, my boy, said the big tall woman, or my husband will eat you for breakfast. But arent you the boy who came here before? My husband lost one of his bags of gold that day.
Thats strange, says Jack, I can tell you something about that, but Im so hungry I cant speak.
The big tall woman was very curious, and she gave him something to eat. But soon he heard thump! thump! thump![75] and the ogres wife hid Jack in the oven.
All happened as it did before.[76] The ogre said, Wife, bring me the hen that lays the golden eggs. So she brought it, and the ogre said, Lay, and it laid an egg of gold. And then the ogre began to sleep.
Then Jack crept out of the oven and caught the golden hen and went away. But this time he made some noise which woke the ogre. So the ogre woke up and howled, Wife, wife, where is my golden hen?
But Jack was running very fast to the beanstalk and climbed down quickly. And when he got home, he showed his mother the wonderful hen and said Lay, and it laid a golden egg every time he said Lay.
So they lived happily. But Jack was not content, and one fine morning, he got up early and went on to the beanstalk, and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed till he got to the top. But this time he did not go to the ogres house. When he came near it, he waited behind a bush till he saw the ogres wife. She came out with a pail to get some water, and then he crept into the house and hid himself. Soon he heard thump! thump! thump! as before and saw the ogre and his wife.
I smell the boy! cried out the ogre. I smell him, wife, I smell him!
Do you, my dear? says the ogres wife. It must be that little rogue that stole your gold and the hen that laid the golden eggs. He must be in the oven. And they both rushed to the oven. But Jack wasnt there, and they found nobody.
So the ogre sat down to the breakfast and ate it. After breakfast, the ogre called out, Wife, wife, bring me my golden harp. So she brought it and put it on the table before him. Then he said, Sing! and the golden harp sang most beautifully till the ogre fell asleep.