Well moaned, Andromeda!
But papa, persisted Janet, when Oliver Cromwell
Oh! look at the Gorgon! cried the mother, as the battered head of an ancient doll was displayed over his shoulder by Perseus, decorated with two enormous snakes, one made of stamps, and the other a spiral of whalebone shavings out of a box.
The monster immediately tumbled over, twisted, kicked, and wriggled so that the scandalised Perseus exclaimed: But Jockmonster, I meanyoure turned into stone
Its convulsions, replied the monster, gasping frightfully, while redoubling his contortions, though Queen Mab observed in the most admonitory tone, touching him at the same time with her wand, Dont you know, Skipjack, thats the reason you dont grow
Eh! Whats the new theory! Who says so, Babie? came from the bottom of the table.
Nurse says so, papa, answered Allen; I heard her telling Jock yesterday that he would never be any taller till he stood still and gave himself time.
Get out, will you! was then heard from the prostrate Robert, the monster having taken care to become petrified right across his legs.
But papa, Janets voice was heard, if Oliver Cromwell had not helped the Waldenses
It was lost, for Bobus and Jock were rolling over together with too much noise to be bearable; Grandmamma turned round with an expostulatory My dears, Mamma with Boys, please dont when papa is tired
Jock is such a little ape, said Bobus, picking himself up. Father, can you tell me why the moon draws up the tides on the wrong side?
You may study the subject, said the Doctor; I shall pack you all off to the seaside in a day or two.
There was one outcry from mother, wife, and boys, Not without you?
I cant go till Drew comes back from his outing
But why should we? It would be so much nicer all together.
It will be horribly dull without; indeed I never can see the sense of going at all, said Janet.
There was a confused outcry of indignation, in which wavescrabsboats and shrimps, were all mingled together.
Im sure thats not half so entertaining as hearing people talk in the evening, said Janet.
You precocious little piece of dissipation, said her mother, laughing.
I didnt mean fine lady nonsense, said Janet, rather hotly; I meant talk like
Like big guns. Oh, yes, we know, interrupted Allen; Janet does not think anyone worth listening to that hasnt got a whole alphabet tacked behind his name.
Janet had better take care, and Bobus too, said the Doctor, or we shall have to send them to vegetate on some farm, and see the cows milked and the pigs fed.
Im afraid Bobus would apply himself to finding how much caseine matter was in the cows milk, said Janet in her womanly tone.
Or by what rule the pigs curled their tails, said her father, with a mischievous pull at the black plaited tail that hung down behind her.
And then they all rose from the table, little Barbara starting up as soon as grace was said. Father, please, you are the Giant Queen Mab always rides!
Queen Mab, or Queen Bab, always rides me, which comes to the same thing. Though as to the size of the Giant
There was a pause to let grandmamma go up in peace, upon Mother Careys arm, and then a general romp and scurry all the way up the stairs, ending by Jocks standing on one leg on the top post of the baluster, like an acrobat, an achievement which made even his father so giddy that he peremptorily desired it never to be attempted again, to the great relief of both the ladies. Then, coming into the drawing-room, Babie perched herself on his knee, and began, without the slightest preparation, the recitation of Cowpers Colubriad:
Fast by the threshold of a door nailed fast
Three kittens sat, each kitten looked aghast.
And just as she had with great excitement
Taught him never to come there no more,
Armine broke in with Nine times one are nine.
It was an institution dating from the days when Janet made her first acquaintance with the Little Busy Bee, that there should be something, of some sort, said or shown to papa, whenever he was at home or free between dinner and bed-time, and it was considered something between a disgrace and a misfortune to produce nothing.
So when the two little ones had been kissed and sent off to bed, with mamma going with them to hear their prayers, Jock, on being called for, repeated a Greek declension with two mistakes in it, Bobus showed a long sum in decimals, Janet, brought a neat parallelism of the present tense of the verb to be in five languagesGreek, Latin, French, German, and English.
And Allenreposing on your honours? Eh, my boy?
Allen looked rather foolish, and said, I spoilt it, papa, and hadnt time to begin another.
ItI suppose I am not to hear what till it has come to perfection. Is it the same that was in hand last time?
No, papa, much better, said Janet, emphatically.
What I want to see, said Dr. Brownlow, is something finished. Id rather have that than ever so many magnificent beginnings.
Here he was seized upon by Robert, with his knitted brow and a book in his hands, demanding aid in making out why, as he said, the tide swelled out on the wrong side of the earth.
His father did his best to disentangle the question, but Bobus was not satisfied till the clock chimed his doom, when he went off with Jock, who was walking on his hands.
Thats too tough a subject for such a little fellow, said the grandmother; so late in the day too!
He would have worried his brain with it all night if he had not worked it out, said his father.
Im afraid he will, any way, said the mother. Fancy being troubled with dreams of surging oceans rising up the wrong way!
Yes, he ought to be running after the tides instead of theorising about them. Carry him off, Mother Carey, and the whole brood, without loss of time.
But Joe, why should we not wait for you? You never did send us away all forlorn before! she said, pleadingly. We are all quite well, and I cant bear going without you.
I had much rather all the chickens were safe away, Carey, he said, sitting down by her. Theres a tendency to epidemic fever in two or three streets, which I dont like in this hot weather, and I had rather have my mind easy about the young ones.
And what do you think of my mind, leaving you in the midst of it?
Your mind, being that of a mother bird and a doctors wife, ought to have no objection.
How soon does Dr. Drew come home?
In a fortnight, I believe. He wanted rest terribly, poor old fellow. Dont grudge him every day.
A fortnight! (as if it was a century). You cant come for a fortnight. Well, perhaps it will take a week to fix on a place.
Hardly, for see here, I found a letter from Acton when I came in. They have found an unsophisticated elysium at Kyve Clements, and are in raptures which they want us to sharerocks and waves and all.
And rooms?
Yes, very good rooms, enough for us all, was the answer, flinging into her lap a letter from his friend, a somewhat noted artist in water-colours, whom, after long patience, Careys school friend, Miss Cartwright, had married two years ago.
There was nothing to say against it, only grandmamma observed, I am too old to catch things; Joe will let me stay and keep house for him.
Please, please let me stay with granny, insisted Janet; then I shall finish my German classes.
Janet was grannys child. She had slept in her room ever since Allen was born, and trotted after her in her housewifeskep, and the sense of being protected was passing into the sense of protection. Before she could be answered, however, there was an announcement. Friends were apt to drop in to coffee and talk in the evening, on the understanding that certain days alone were freepeople chiefly belonging to a literary, scientific, and artist set, not Bohemian, but with a good deal of quiet ease and absence of formality.
This friend had just returned from Asia Minor, and had brought an exquisite bit of a Greek frieze, of which he had become the happy possessor, knowing that Mrs. Joseph Brownlow would delight to see it, and mayhap to copy it.
For Careys powers had been allowed to develop themselves; Mrs. Brownlow having been always housekeeper, she had been fain to go on with the studies that even her preparation for governess-ship had not rendered wearisome, and thus had become a very graceful modeller in clayher favourite pursuitwhen her childrens lessons and other occupations left her free to indulge in it. The history of the travels, and the account of the discovery, were given and heard with all zest, and in the midst others came ina barrister and his wife to say good-bye before the circuit, a professor with a ticket for the gallery at a scientific dinner, two medical students, who had been made free of the house because they were nice lads with no available friends in town.
It was all over by half-past ten, and the trio were alone together. How amusing Mr. Leslie is! said the young Mrs. Brownlow. He knows how describe as few people do.
Did you see Janet listening to him, said her grandmother, with her brows pulled down and her eyes sparkling out under them, wanting to devour every word?
Yes, returned the Doctor, I saw it, and I longed to souse that black head of hers with salt water. I dont like brains to grow to the contempt of healthful play.
People never know when they are well off! I wonder what you would have said if you had had a lot of stupid dolts, boys always being plucked, &c.
Dont plume yourself too soon, Mother Carey; only one chick has gone through the first ordeal.
And if Allen did, Bobus will.
Allen is quite as clever as Bobus, granny, if eagerly said the mother.
If said the father; theres the point. If Allen has the stimulus, he will do well. I own I am particularly pleased with his success, because perseverance is his weak point.
Carey kept him up to it, said granny. I believe his success is quite as much her work as his own.
And the question is, how will he get on without his mother to coach him?
Now you know you are not one bit uneasy, papa! cried his wife, indignantly. But dont you think we might let Janet have her will for just these ten days? There cant be any real danger for her with grandmamma, and I should be happier about granny.
You dont trust Joe to take care of me?
Not if Joe is to be out all day. There will be nobody to trot up and down stairs for you. Come, it is only what she begs for herself, and she really is perfectly well.
As if I could have a child victimised to me, said granny.
The little Cockney thinks the victimising would be in going to the deserts with only the boys and me, laughed Carey; But I think a week later will be quite time enough to sweep the cobwebs out of her brain.
And you can do without her? inquired Mrs. Brownlow. You dont want her to help to keep the boys in order?
Thank you, I can do that better without her, said Carey. She exasperates them sometimes.
I believe granny is thinking whether she is not wanted to keep Mother Carey in order as well as her chickens. Hasnt mother been taken for your governess, Carey?
No, no, Joe, thats too bad. They asked Janet at the dancing-school whether her sister was not going to join.
Her younger sister?
No, I tell you, her half-sister. But Clara Acton will do discretion for us, granny; and I promise you we wont do anything her husband says is very desperate! Dont be afraid.
No, said grandmamma, smiling as she kissed her daughter-in-law, and rose to take her candle; I am never afraid of anything a mother can share with her boys.
Even if she is nearly a tomboy herself, laughed the husband, with rather a teasing air, towards his little wife. Good night, mother. Shall not we be snug with nobody left but Janet, who might be great-grandmother to us both?
I really am glad that Janet should stay with granny, said Carey, when he had shut the door behind the old lady; she would be left alone so many hours while you are out, and she does need more waiting on than she used to do.
You think so? I never see her grow older.
Not in the least older in mind or spirits; but she is not so strong, nor so willing to exert herself, and she falls asleep more in the afternoon. One reason for which I am less sorry to go on before, is that I shall be able to judge whether the rooms are comfortable enough for her, and I suppose we may change if they are not.
To another place, if you think best.
Only you will not let her stay at home altogether. Thats what Im afraid of.
She will only do so on the penalty of keeping me, and you may trust her not to do that, said Joe, laughing with the confidence of an only son.
I shall come back and fetch you if you dont appear under a fortnight. Did you do any more this morning to the great experiment, Magnum Bonum?
She spoke the words in a proud, shy, exulting semi-whisper, somewhat as Gutenbergs wife might have asked after his printing-press.
No. I havent had half an hour to myself to-day; at least when I could have attended to it. Dont be afraid, Carey, Im not daunted by the doubts of our good friends. I see your eyes reproaching me with that.
Oh no, as you said, Sir Matthew Fleet mistrusts anything entirely new, and the professor is never sanguine. I am almost glad they are so stupid, it will make our pleasure all the sweeter.
You silly little bird, if you sit on that egg it will be sure to be addled. If it should come to any good, probably it will take longer than our life-time to work into peoples brains.
No, said Carey, I know the real object is the relieving pain and saving life, and that is what you care for more than the honour and glory. But do you remember the fly on the coach wheel?
Well, the coach wheel means to stand still for a little while. I dont mean to try another experiment till my brains have been turned out to grass, and I can come to it fresh.
Ah! tis you that really need the holiday, said Carey, wistfully; much more than any of us. Look at this great crows foot, tracing it with her finger.
Laughing, my dear. Thats the outline of the risible muscle. A Mother Carey and her six ridiculous chickens cant but wear out furrows with laughing at them.
I only know I wish it were you that were going, and I that were staying at home.
You shall do my work to-day,
And Ill go follow the plough,
said her husband, laughing. There are the notes of my lecture, if youll go and give it.