Oh, where is my Dinah? said Alice. Dinah can bring her back.
And who is Dinah, if I may ask such a thing? said one of the birds.
Alice was glad to talk about her pet.
Dinah is our cat; and it catches mice very fast. Moreover, Dinah catches birds even faster! And it eats them at once!
These words caused a great stir in the party. The birds rushed off; they were saying, We must get home, its late, its time to sleep.
Everybody went home, and Alice was soon alone. Poor Alice began to cry again, because she felt very lonely. Suddenly she heard some noise.
Chapter IV
The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
It was the White Rabbit, he was looking anxiously around and muttering to itself The Duchess! The Duchess! Shell get my head cut off[28]! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! Where did I lose them, I wonder? Alice guessed in a moment that the Rabbit was looking for the fan and the pair of white gloves, but everything changed, and the great hall, with the glass table and the little door, vanished completely.
Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, and told her in an angry tone, Why, Mary Ann[29], what are you doing here? Run home, and bring me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!
And Alice was so much afraid that she ran off at once.
He took me for[30] his housemaid, she said to herself as she ran. But its better to bring him his fan and glovesthat is, if I can find them.
As she said this, she came to a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass plate with the name W. RABBIT upon it. She went in, and hurried upstairs.
How queer it is! Alice said to herself. I am the Rabbits servant. I think my next master will be Dinah herself!
By this time she found her way into a tidy little room with a table by the window, and on it a fan and two or three pairs of tiny white gloves. She took up the fan and a pair of gloves, and noticed a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no label this time with the words DRINK ME, but Alice opened it and put it to her lips.
Lets see, she said to herself, what this bottle does. I hope itll make me large again!
It did so indeed, and soon her head was near the ceiling. She said, Thats enough.
Alas! it was too late! She was growing, and growing, and growing. In another minute there was not even room for her, and she put one arm out of the window[31], and one foot up the chimney. Luckily for Alice, the magic stopped, and she grew no more. But she felt unhappy.
It was much better at home, thought poor Alice, when I wasnt always growing larger and smaller, when mice and rabbits did not order me. Why did I crawl into that rabbit-hole?
After a few minutes she heard a voice outside.
Mary Ann! Mary Ann! said the voice. Bring me my gloves!
Alice knew it was the Rabbit, and she trembled. The Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but the door opened inwards, and Alices elbow was pressed hard against it.
The Rabbit said to itself Then Ill go round and get in at the window[32].
You wont thought Alice, and she suddenly spread out her hand. She heard a little shriek and a crash of broken glass. Next came an angry voicethe RabbitsPat[33]! Pat! Where are you?
And another voice, Im here!
Now tell me, Pat, whats that in the window?
Its an arm, your honour!
An arm, you fool! So big! It fills the whole window!
Sure, it does, your honour: but its an arm.
Well, go and take it away!
There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers; such as, I dont like it, your honour, at all, at all!
Do as I tell you, you coward! We must burn the house down! said the Rabbits voice; and Alice shouted as loud as she could, If you do this, Ill call Dinah!
There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, What will they do next?
After a minute or two, a shower of little pebbles came in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face. Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into little cakes, and a bright idea came into her head.
If I eat one of these cakes, she thought, itll make some change in my size; it can make me smaller, I suppose.
So she swallowed one of the cakes, and she became smaller. Soon she was small enough to get through the door. She ran out of the house, and found a crowd of little animals and birds outside. Alice ran away. She was running and running, and finally she saw a large mushroom near her, about the same height as herself. Her eyes immediately met a large caterpillar, that was sitting on the top, quietly smoking a hookah[34].
Chapter V
Advice from a Caterpillar
The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a sleepy voice.
Who are you? said the Caterpillar.
Alice replied, rather shyly, II hardly know, sir, just at presentat least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I changed several times.
What do you mean by that? said the Caterpillar sternly. Explain!
I cant, Im afraid, said Alice very politely. I
You! said the Caterpillar contemptuously. Who are YOU?
It brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation.
Alice thought that the Caterpillar was in a very unpleasant state of mind[35], and she turned away.
Come back! the Caterpillar demanded. I want to tell you something important!
Alice turned and came back again.
Keep your temper[36], said the Caterpillar.
Is that all? asked Alice.
No, said the Caterpillar.
Alice was waiting.
So you think you changed, do you? said the Caterpillar.
Im afraid I am, said Alice; I cant remember some things.
What things cant you remember? asked the Caterpillar.
Some verses, for example, Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
Repeat, You Are Old, Father William[37], said the Caterpillar.
Alice folded her hands, and began to recite the poem:
You are old, Father William, the young man said,
That is wrong, said the Caterpillar.
Maybe, not quite right, Im afraid, said Alice, timidly.
It is wrong from beginning to end, said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.
What size do you want to be? asked the Caterpillar.
You know Alice began.
I DONT know, said the Caterpillar.
Alice said nothing; she felt that she was losing her temper[38].
Are you content now? said the Caterpillar.
Well, I want to be a little larger, said Alice: three inches is such a wretched height to be.
Are you content now? said the Caterpillar.
Well, I want to be a little larger, said Alice: three inches is such a wretched height to be.
It is a very good height indeed! said the Caterpillar angrily (it was exactly three inches high); and it put the hookah into its mouth and began to smoke again.
This time Alice waited patiently until the Caterpillar spoke again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice. Then it got down off the mushroom[39], and crawled away in the grass. And it remarked, One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.
One side of what? The other side of what? thought Alice to herself.
Of the mushroom, said the Caterpillar.
The mushroom was perfectly round, so Alice found this a very difficult question. However, at last she decided to eat a bit of the mushroom. The next moment her chin hit her foot!
She was frightened by this change; so she ate some of the other bit. Finally, she was near the right size. She went forward and saw a little house about four feet high. She ate a bit of the mushroom again and became nine inches high.
This is the right size to enter the house, said Alice
Chapter VI
Pig and Pepper
For a minute or two she stood near the house. She was wondering what to do next, when suddenly a servanta fishcame out of the wood and knocked loudly at the door. Another servant with a round face, and large eyes like a frog opened the door.
The Fish-Servant said, in a solemn tone, For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.
The Frog-Servant repeated, in the same solemn tone, From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.
Then the Fish-Servant ran away. Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.
Why do you knock? asked the Frog, Im on the same side of the door as you are. And theyre making such a noise inside, no one can possibly hear you.
And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise within.
Please, then, said Alice, how to get in?
Are you sure you want to get in? said the Frog. Thats the first question, you know.
Its really dreadful, Alice muttered to herself, they like to argue, these animals!
The Frog said, I shall sit here, for days and days.
But what am I to do? said Alice.
Anything you like, said the Servant, and began to whistle.
Oh, hes idiotic! said Alice desperately. And she opened the door and went in.
The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end to the other. The Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, she was nursing a baby. The cook was leaning over the fire, there was a large cauldron full of soup.
Theres certainly too much pepper in that soup! Alice said to herself, and began to sneeze.
Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and the baby was sneezing and howling all the time. Only the cook and a large cat did not sneeze. The cat was sitting on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear[40].
Please can you tell me, said Alice timidly, why does your cat grin?
Its a Cheshire cat[41], said the Duchess, and thats why. Pig!
She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice jumped. But she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, and not to her. So she took courage, and went on again:
I didnt know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didnt know that cats could grin.
They all can, said the Duchess, and most of them do.
I dont know anything about it, Alice said very politely.
You dont know much, said the Duchess; and thats a fact.
Alice did not like the tone of this remark. Meanwhile the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and began to throw everything at the Duchess and the babysaucepans, plates, and dishes.
Oh, please, dont do it! cried Alice in terror. Oh, his precious nose!
Mind your own business[42], the Duchess said in a hoarse growl. Oh, dont bother me! Here! You may nurse it a bit, if you like! the Duchess said to Alice, and threw the baby at her. I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen, and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out.
Alice caught the baby with some difficulty. She carried it out into the open air.
If I dont take this child away with me, thought Alice, they will kill it in a day or two: it is murder to leave it there.
She said the last words out loud, and the baby grunted in reply.
Dont grunt, said Alice, thats impolite.
The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face. The baby sobbed (or grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on in silence.
Now, what shall I do with the baby when I get it home? said Alice when it grunted again. She looked down into its face. No mistake about it: it was a pig, and it was quite absurd for her to carry it further.
So she set the little pig down, and it trotted away quietly into the wood.
It is a dreadfully ugly child, she said to herself, but it is a handsome pig, I think.
And she began to remember the children she knew, who might be good pigs.
But how to change them?
Suddenly she saw the Cheshire Cat. The Cat was sitting on a bough of a tree. The Cat grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured, she thought: but it had very long claws and many teeth.
Cheshire Cat, she began, rather timidly, and the Cat only grinned a little wider. Can you tell me, please, where to go?
That depends on where you want to go, said the Cat.
I dont care where, said Alice.
Then it doesnt matter which way you go, said the Cat.
I want to get somewhere, Alice added as an explanation.
Oh, you will do that, said the Cat, if you only walk long enough.
Alice tried another question[43].
What people live here?
In this direction, the Cat said, lives a Hatter[44]: and in that direction, lives a March Hare[45]. Visit them: theyre both mad.
But I dont want to see mad people, Alice remarked.
Oh, were all mad here, said the Cat. Im mad. Youre mad.
How do you know Im mad? said Alice.
You must be, said the Cat, you are here.
And how do you know that youre mad? she went on.
A dog is not mad, said the Cat, Do you believe that?
I suppose so, said Alice.
Well, then, the Cat went on, you see, a dog growls when its angry, and wags its tail when its pleased. Now I growl when Im pleased, and wag my tail when Im angry. Therefore Im mad. Do you play croquet with the Queen today?
With pleasure, said Alice, but I do not have an invitation.
Youll see me there, said the Cat, and vanished.
Alice was not much surprised at this. While she was looking at the place where the cat was, it suddenly appeared again.
And what became of the baby? said the Cat. I forgot to ask.