Look, even if I knew who was responsible for the calls, it wouldnt change my mind. Anna leaned toward him. I dont expect you to understand, but this is something I have to do. I know my donor was a thirty-nine-year-old woman, but I need to know what kind of person she was, the kind of life she led. Dont ask me to explain it, but I feel as if I owe her that much.
Dont you think your gratitude would be better served by honoring her familys privacy? Tom asked bluntly.
Anna drew a breath. Are you saying you wont help me?
He looked away, unable to hold her gaze. Im saying I have deep reservations about this. About your motives.
Anger darted through her. She sat back in her chair, eyeing him coldly. You know, Tom, Im the one who brought Matthews, Conley and Hart to your firm. One call and I could just as easily take that business away from you.
His jaw hardened as he returned her stare. Im aware of that.
Anna was at once struck by remorse. She put a hand to her mouth. Tom, that was completely out of line. I apologize.
Tom shrugged, but something had changed between them. Anna could see it in his eyes. Dont apologize. In some ways, its a relief to know the real Anna Sebastian is still around.
He studied her for a moment, as if he couldnt quite decide whether her remorse was genuine or not. You know, Anna, Ive always admired and respected you. Ive even at times felt a certain fondness for you. But youve never made it easy for people to care about you.
I know that.
He rubbed the back of his neck. Im going to do this for you because youre right. I do owe you. But after that he trailed off on a shrug, and guilt and humiliation welled inside Anna where once she would have allowed herself to feel nothing but anger. Tom was about the closest thing to a friend she had, and now shed pushed him away. Maybe he was right. Maybe a leopard couldnt change its spots overnight. Maybe she couldnt change them at all.
If youd rather I take this to another agency, Ill understand. And there wont be any hard feelings. Norepercussions.
He shook his head. I said Id look into it, and I will. I just hope you know what you could be letting yourself in for.
I do. And I want you to know that Im not going to hurt anyone with this information. Whatever you find out will stay between us. She paused again. I know its hard for you to understand, but this is something I have to do. I have to make sure
You deserve your new heart?
His insight stunned her. Yes, exactly, Anna murmured. And I can tell by your expression what your opinion is on the subject.
It doesnt matter what I think. He stood, drawing the meeting to an end. Ill be in touch.
He didnt bother seeing her out.
Chapter Two
Anna felt deeply unsettled as she headed up Travis Street toward her apartment in the old Cullen Bank Building on Main. The weather didnt help. It was after four and the late-afternoon traffic was starting to stack up on the streets, but she was only one of a handful of pedestrians on the sidewalks. The rain had driven everyone else down into the tunnels. Even the terrace at Cabos, a trendy Mexican restaurant and bar, looked damply forlorn in the drizzle.
Crossing the intersection at Preston, Anna began to experience a strange sensation of being watched. She glanced over her shoulder, saw no one behind her, and continued on toward Congress. She waited for the light, and then crossed the street. As she hurried toward her building, her gaze was inexplicably drawn to the covered bus stop at the corner.
A man stood inside, staring at the slow-moving traffic on Congress. He had his back to Anna, but something about him looked familiar. He was tall, with closely cropped dark hair and broad shoulders beneath a black shirt.
Her stomach fluttered as she stood watching him. For a moment, she thought he was the man from the elevator, and something told her to runnot walkaway from him. To hurry inside her building, rush up to her ninth-floor apartment and lock the door behind her.
But she couldnt seem to move. And then, as if sensing her scrutiny, he turned slowly to stare at her. Anna caught her breath, realizing at once why hed seemed familiar to her.
Her ex-husband smiled as he left the shelter of the bus stop and started toward her.
Hello, Anna.
Hays, she said in surprise. Her hand had gone automatically to her heart, and now she self-consciously dropped her arm to her side. What are you doing here?
Waiting for you. Moisture glinted in his dark hair. I saw you getting on the elevator in the Chase Tower, and I tried to catch you, but you didnt go up to your office. He shrugged. I figured you had to come this way sooner or later.
His excuse sounded a bit convenient to Anna although plausible, she supposed. Hays worked for an oil and gas exploration company headquartered in the Chase Tower, which was how theyd first met.
She decided to play the meeting by ear. So why did you want to see me?
Ive been working out of the Dallas office for the past several months, and I just got back in town a few days ago. I heard what happened. His gaze dropped very briefly to her chest. I guess I needed to see for myself that you were okay.
Anna wanted to accept his concern at face value, but there was something in his eyes that made her say warily, You didnt have to go to so much trouble. You could have just called.
Like I said, I needed to see for myself. He stared down at her. Can I ask you something?
Anna shrugged. Sure.
How does it feel to have someone elses heart beating inside your chest?
How was she supposed to answer that? Should she tell him she felt an appreciation bordering on reverence for her new heart? That she was deeply humbled by a second chance shed done nothing to deserve? That she felt an almost spiritual connection with the woman whod given her the ultimate gift?
She could tell him all those things, but she could never make Hays or anyone else understand if theyd never walked in her shoes.
It feels just like my own, she said, but that wasnt altogether true.
He cocked his head. I heard about this guy once. He got a new heart just like you, and he suddenly developed a strange affinity for pasta. Spaghetti, fettuccini, you name it. He never could stand the stuff before, but suddenly he couldnt get enough of it. Turned out his donor had loved Italian food. Hays arched an eyebrow. How about it, Anna? Had any strange cravings since your surgery?
Not that Ive noticed.
What, no new abilities or talents?
No. She shivered a bit in the light rain. ButI have changed.
One brow shot up again. How so?
She hesitated, unsure how to phrase what she wanted to say, but more important, not certain how he would take it. Im glad you came here to wait for me, Hays, because theres something Ive wanted to say to you for a long time. She adjusted the collar of her raincoat, buying herself a moment of time. I regret the way things ended between us. I still think divorce was the only answer for us, but Im sorry you were hurt by it.
His eyes widened, as if he were stunned by the apology, then he gave a low, bitter laugh. God, Anna, who are you trying to kid?
Im serious, she said, a little wounded by his reaction. Im deeply sorry that I hurt you.
He took a quick step toward her and put a hand underneath her chin, tilting her face up to his. He wasnt a tall man, but hed always worked out, always kept his physique lean and muscular. At five-six, Anna had never felt threatened or intimidated by his physical superiority, but now, gazing up at him, she saw something in his eyes shed never seen before. The bitterness and the resentment were the same, the anger hadnt changed, but now there was another, darker emotion she couldnt quite name.
She wanted to move away from him, away from his touch, but something of the old Anna wouldnt let her cower away. She remained still, gazing up at him with what she hoped was a nonprovoking expression.
His gaze took on a mocking glint, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. Why, Anna, he said softly. If I didnt know better, I might think theyd given you a soul along with that new heart. But the problem is His features hardened almost imperceptibly. I do know you.
He was still holding her face up to his, his dark eyes now burning into hers. Something smoldered in those black depths, something not quite sane, Anna feared.
Dear God, what had happened to him since their divorce? Hed been bitter and angry over the breakup, but shed never considered him dangerous.
But nowthe way he was looking at her
Anna suddenly wondered if Hays was behind the phone calls. If he had a deeper, darker motive for his visit.
And she remembered just as suddenly the bouts of moodiness during their marriage. The bursts of temper. The way he would sometimes disappear for days at a time. Hed always blamed their marriage difficulties on her career, and Anna hadnt bothered to dispute him because she knew her ambition was a big part of their problem. But now she realized that their incompatibility went deeper than that. Much deeper.
I once thought you were the most beautiful woman Id ever laid eyes on. That blond hair. He tucked a strand behind her ear. Those dark eyes. And a body any man would kill to possess. But look at you now. His gaze roamed over her, taking in her pale complexion, her frail frame. Do you know what youve become, Anna? Youre a freak, a modern-day Frankenstein.
She tried to move away, but his grip tightened on her chin. It would be wrong to blame you, though, wouldnt it? The real monsters are the surgeons who patch together pathetic, soulless creatures like you from the dead and the dying.
Anna said angrily, Let go of me, Hays.
His hand slipped to her chest, and with one finger, he uncannily traced the outline of her scar through her blouse. Tell me something, Anna. What man is going to want to see that in bed?
HAYSS TAUNT followed Anna into her building, into the elevator, all the way up to the ninth floor. Shed experienced his animosity before, but nothing like this. Hed seemed so cold and cruel, and that strange glint in his eyes
Anna shuddered, trying to put the confrontation out of her mind, but as she got off the elevator and walked down the hall to her apartment, she couldnt get his words out of her mind. Tell me something, Anna. What man is going to want to see that in bed?
It wasnt like she hadnt thought of that herself. It wasnt like she hadnt stared at that scar in the mirror, trying to picture a mans reaction the first time he saw it.
Luckily, she supposed, she had no one serious in her life these days. After her divorce, shed avoided complicated entanglements and had pursued only the companionship of men who shared a similar philosophy to hers, namely, that she neither wanted nor expected an exclusive commitment, and her career would always come first.
Shed convinced herself it was an outlook that would serve her well, but looking back after her surgery, when shed had plenty of time to dissect her life, Anna had come to realize that the like-minded men whose company shed sought were as shallow as she, their personal lives as empty and vapid as hers. Looking at them was like looking in a mirror, and the reflection was not pretty.
Anna could well imagine their reactions on seeing her scar. Naturally, theyd try to put a good face on it, but inside theyd recoil in horror and wouldnt be able to get away fast enough. She was flawed now andeven worsehigh-maintenance. A double whammy for the commitment-challenged.
And the one of substance, that nameless, faceless man whom Anna had now started to fantasize about? The man who could look at her, scar and all, and still want her? Was he out there somewhere?
Unaccountably, her thoughts went back to the man in the elevator, and as Anna inserted her key into the lock and opened the door, she wondered why hed had such a strong impact on her. He was a total stranger. Shed probably never see him again. No reason for her to feel this strange fascination for him.
Except, of course, for the obvious reason. They were both flawed.
Had women shunned him because of his appearance?
Somehow Anna couldnt imagine that.
Closing the door behind her, she took off her soggy raincoat and tossed it into the powder room just off the foyer, an action that once would have been unthinkable to her.
Laurel, Im home! She brushed fingers through her damp hair as she walked into the living room.
When there was no response, Anna decided she must have beat her stepmother home. Then she heard voices coming from the den, and she hurried down the hallway toward the sound.
Laurel!
As Anna entered the room, the first thing she saw was her stepmothers pale face, and she knew immediately something had happened. Something terrible.
Laurel stood in front of the television, so engrossed in whatever was on that she hadnt bothered to sit. She didnt appear to hear Annas approach, either, but then she glanced up. Anna! Oh, Im so glad youre home. Ive been so worried
She actually swayed on her feet, and Anna rushed to her side, clutching her arm. Laurel, what is it? Whats wrong?
I still cant believe it, she murmured, one hand to her throat.
What? Annas gaze was drawn to the television screen then and to the news alert that had interrupted an afternoon talk show Laurel loved. A female reporter stood on the street in front of a large home in an older, upscale neighborhood.
But Anna caught only a word or two of the womans report because her stepmother started to babble. He must have left the hospital right after we did. The police think he was lured home and the killer was waiting for him
Anna gripped Laurels shoulders. What are you talking about? Waiting for whom?
All Laurel could manage was to point weakly at the TV where the reporters calm, clear tone was a surreal contradiction to her agitation.
Anna turned once again to stare at the screen. The reporter was in the middle of her recap. on the scene live in the Museum District where a prominent Houston heart surgeon was found brutally murdered in his home a short while ago. This has been a Channel Eleven exclusive report. Stay tuned for all the late-breaking developments.
Anna spun to face Laurel. No, she whispered.
Laurel nodded, her eyes brimming with tears. It was Michael, Anna. Hes dead.
And suddenly all Anna could think about was what her ex-husband had said to her not ten minutes earlier. It would be wrong to blame you, though, wouldnt it? The real monsters are the surgeons who patch together pathetic, soulless creatures like you from the dead and the dying.