Damn, he needed a drink.
Hed noticed several new bottles of whiskey in the cabinet in his room earlier. He shook off the memory of Arielles dead, green eyes staring up vacantly, her back arched in death spasms, her blond hair matted black with dried blood. He swore silently to himself. How rude would it be to dump Maddie off his lap and make a beeline for the liquor cabinet?
Probably unforgivably rude. And he really liked the warm, soft, cuddly feel of her in his lap like this. She fit just right against his chest, her forehead tucked against his neck, her arms wrapped lightly around his ribs. Holding her, like he was now, wascomforting. Made him feel not so alone. He wasnt lonely, of course, he told himself hastily. But a hug felt nice now and again. Even to a bastard like him.
Maddies sobs renewed themselves, although quieter this time. She swiped at her eyes, dashing away tears, then tucked her fist under her chin, childlike. He recognized the body language. She was crying out some sort of trauma that had transformed itself into a desperate need for comfort. Any kind of comfort. A cuddle, or sex or whatever. And he happened to be the nearest able-bodied male able to fill her need. And Lord knew, he was willing.
No guy in his right mind would care about being used for comfort sex by a woman this hot. Not that hed been in his right mind for the past six months or so. But still. He was totally okay with being this womans shoulder sponge and sex toy.
Alarm jolted him. Jeez. What if he was the cause of her being this upset? He racked his brain. What boneheaded thing had he said or done to her within the massive black gap yawning tauntingly in his memory?
He worked through the logic quickly. She wouldnt have come home with him if hed hurt her or been rude to her, would she? Was she on the rebound from some other jerk, maybe?
He swore under his breath. He really had to cut back on the booze. He couldnt recall a damned thing about the past day or so.
Thing was, Tom sighed, he knew better than to be some socialites casual beach fling like this. Hed watched Arielle blast through men like a demolition derby driver, leaving a messy trail of wrecked lives in her wake. The sour taste of it in his mouth washed away the lingering traces of Maddies impossibly sexy scent.
He probably ought to do something to draw her out of her crying jag. Shed been at it for a while now. He sighed. Ever the good guy, he was. It was probably why he never got the girl. Hed vowed to hang up his good guy white hat once and for all when he came here to the end of the world. But apparently, a few vestiges of it lingered, dammit.
Instead of kissing her like hed originally intended, he halted, his mouth inches from hers. Can you feel it? he murmured.
Feel what?
Blood flowing through your veins. Air moving in and out of your lungs. Heat on your skin.
She blinked a couple of times as if she was having trouble registering the meaning of his words. Lost in a sexual haze, was she? An instant of male triumph surged in his gut. So, sue him. Yeah, he got a rush out of turning on a good-looking woman.
He half whispered, We made it to shelter before the storm. Were safe. Doesnt it feel great just to be alive?
Her eyes were big and wide as she gazed up at him in the dim lamplight. Sudden, intense awareness of their bodies rushed over her face as plain as day. He didnt have to see her blush to feel its sudden heat radiating off her. She swayed closer to him, her fingers toying with his chest hair in unconscious flirtation.
He could so have her right now. And shed so hate him for it in the morning. He sighed and drew back slightly. He wasnt the kind of jerk who took advantage of a woman when her emotional defenses were down. He might want to be that kind of unfeeling ass, but it just wasnt in him to take advantage of any female like that. Not to mention he had no intention of dragging anyone else into the train wreck of his life. Despite the occasional one-night stand, at the end of the day he wanted to be alone. End of discussion.
Except, a small voice whispered at the back of his head, Maddie feels damned good in your arms.
He ought to invite her into his bed, not for wild bunny sex, but just to hold her and make her feel safe so she could sleep. But panic flitted through him at the idea. No one was allowed into his bedroom. Ever. It was his last retreat, his most private, personal sanctuary.
Instead he offered, Do you want me to sit with you until you fall asleep?
One perfectly plucked eyebrow curved up at him. Do I look like a five-year-old?
He tilted his head and studied her. Nah. Id put you at nine or ten at least.
Her mouth pursed in disapproval, but her anxious eyes told a different tale altogether. And he noticed she wasnt making any aggressive move to remove herself from the circle of his arms.
He let her off the hook and announced in a tone that brooked no argument, Youre lying back down here on the couch, and Im moving over to that armchair and not budging until I hear you snoring.
She laughed. I dont snore!
I bet you do.
Do not, she retorted indignantly.
He grinned down at her. Better. Ill let you know. He let go of her and went to stand. But he hadnt counted on the lady having other ideas.
Dont move, she whispered, looping her arms around his neck.
But
She cut him off. I want to listen to your heart beat. It lets me know youre really alive. When I was swimming to shoreI didnt know if we would live or dieI was so scaredand it was so dark
Shed had some sort of drowning scare? When was that? She was talking as if he already knew about it. Dammit. Shed no doubt confessed all the gory details while he was drunk off his ass. Unfortunately, he wasnt one of those men who got loud and obnoxious when he was wasted. People often mistook him for being much more sober than he was.
Maybe her big scare was how hed gotten her into the sack with him in the first place. Hed played the I can keep you safe, little lady card. And at one point, that might have been true. Before Arielle got killedstabbed to death by a stalker fanwhen hed been in charge of her security detail.
Careful not to promise to protect her, he thought and gathered Maddie close. Youre safe now. Everythings fine.
Except apparently, everything was not fine. She wriggled in his arms until he turned her loose. He expected her to climb out of his lap, but nooooshe threw her left leg across his hips and straddled him. Right there on the couch. Groin to groin. Pressing down on him just like she would if they were making love. Only a few pieces of flimsy cloth kept him from plunging up into her wet, tight heat, of sliding her up and down his length until he forgot everything and exploded
Jeez! What the hell was wrong with him tonight?
She laid her right ear against his heart and stilled, listening intently. And for some reason, it was one of the sexiest things a woman had ever done to him. Maybe because it was real. A reaching out for human connection at the most fundamental level of existence. Confirmation of a simple heartbeat. And it all but pushed him over the edge.
Were alive, she murmured in awe. Both of us.
Ohh-kay. Poor kid had definitely had some sort of major fright recently. Uh, yeah, he mumbled. Alive. Miraculous, isnt it? More like a nightmare from where he sat, but he wasnt going to quibble with her about the relative benefits of being alive or dead while she was straddling him like a cowgirl about to ride him until his knees buckled.
Were alive, she murmured in awe. Both of us.
Ohh-kay. Poor kid had definitely had some sort of major fright recently. Uh, yeah, he mumbled. Alive. Miraculous, isnt it? More like a nightmare from where he sat, but he wasnt going to quibble with her about the relative benefits of being alive or dead while she was straddling him like a cowgirl about to ride him until his knees buckled.
Its a wild thing inside me, this feeling of having cheated death.
Oh, Lord. He knew exactly the sensation she was talking about. It tore through a person like chain lightning, making every inch a soul tingle, every nerve jangle on edge, every breath a triumph. Blood pounded through him, hot and thick, and abruptly he could count his pulse in the throbbing of his male flesh, so hard and needy he couldnt stand it.
Gritting his teeth against an urge to throw her down and drive himself into her until they both screamed, he managed to force out, Honey, youre going to have to climb off me or be prepared to do something about where youre sitting because Im about to have some serious self-control issues.
She laughed. She laughed!
A noise escaped the back of his throat. Whether a growl or a groan, he couldnt exactly say. But it made her jerk her head up off his chest and stare at him, startled, her eyes big and wide andhave mercyaware.
He actually saw her breath hitch. Her chest started to lift, then hesitated, then finished the breath. He closed his eyes in pain. Must. Not. Do. This.
She made a little sound, a soft, Oh, that shot through him like a fifty-thousand-volt taser. And then she leaned forward as if to kiss him. Except the movement also had the effect of rocking her gently against parts of him that didnt need any more rocking at the moment. She froze, her pupils black in the subtle, and suddenly unbearably sensual, light suffusing the room.
He muttered, Yeah. That.
She melted on top of him, flowing over him like warm honey, her body softening and relaxing against his. Her hands slid over his shoulders to toy with the short hairs at the back of his neck. Her breasts came to rest against him, hard nipples cushioned in the gently resilient softness of her breasts. Her thighs opened wider, pressing her even more firmly against him.
He closed his eyes. Threw his head back against the sofa cushions in an agony of need so great he barely noticed his back protesting. And damned if she didnt lick his throat. She really had to quit that licking bit unless she planned to lick all of him. Soon. Hands tugged at his head, drawing it forward once more. And then she was kissing him, her mouth open and wet and inviting. How could a guy say no to being eaten alive like this?
His own adrenaline rush answered hers. He had no idea where it came from, but it tore through him like a tornado. With her body surfing his, sliding across him with her mouthwith her whole selfhe rose up to meet her helplessly.
Her hands fumbled at his waist, untying the drawstring of his shorts. She lifted up enough to slide them down his hips, and then he was spilling into her hands, hard and hot and jumping beneath her touch.
Oh, my, she sighed.
She had to quit that sighing thing, too. It was driving him out of his mind. He reached forward, lifting the hem of herhisshirt off her. She rose out of his lap, a naked nymph called forth from the heart of nature, perfect. Ethereal. Beautiful. Her breasts were high and firm, not large, but beautifully shaped. With a chest like that, she ought to walk around topless all the time. He restrained the urge to reach for the pale mounds and just looked at them, savoring the way they rose and fell with her rapid, shallow breathing. His gaze traced the slim inward curve of her waist, the gentle flare of her hips, the shadowed place where their bodies met.
Well, touch me, already! she demanded.
He glanced up at her, startled. And grinned. Sorry. I was enjoying the view.
She leaned down and kissed him voraciously, biting his lower lip hard enough to draw his undivided attention to her mouth. Vixen. He slid a hand up to the back of her head under her silky hair, anchoring her in place as he took control of the kiss, plunging his tongue inside her mouth. It tasted of the ocean, salty and primeval. It called him home. He sucked at her, drinking in her sighs, devouring the taste of her, the smooth slide of her tongue against his, the way she surged against him.
He skimmed his fingertips down her body, and she stretched sinuously under the light caress, inflaming the inferno already raging inside him. Yup, youre definitely alive, he murmured.
She arched her back, rocking her hips against his provocatively. Except now there was nothing between them, just hot, slick flesh on hot, slick flesh.
He leaned forward, wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up and away from him. Are you sure about this? he murmured.
Im not sure about anything except that by some miracle we made it. Were here. Were alive.
He could wait no longer. He plunged into all that vibrant exuberance and groaned when she cried out in joy. His buttocks clenched until they nearly cramped, driving him up and into all that heat and energy, hot and tight upon him and around him. He touched her very core, and it pulsed against him once. Twice. He surged beneath her, drawn into her as if she was a force of nature. Her internal muscles milked him powerfully, sucking life from the very dregs of his soul. And he gave it all to her. He pumped into her with abandon, holding her hips down to push into her more and more deeply.
The sea roared outside and he shouted his release inside. She threw her head back and let out a keening, shuddering cry of pleasure that broke something loose within his soul. Something hed not even known was bottled up within him. He collapsed as new awareness of it, of her, of himself, flooded over him.
Wonder suffused his consciousness. Indeed, she was right about one thing. He was alive. For the first time in a long time. Since before Arielle. Before
Inexplicably, the end of the thought slipped away from him. Before what? How long had it been since hed felt like this? His short-term memory might be shot to hell, but his long-term memory was just fine, thank you very much. And he couldnt remember the last time hed felt this good.
Mmm. She curled up in his arms, his wild, elemental force of nature back to being a kitten once more, limp and sleepy.
You need to rest, he murmured.
You, too, she murmured back drowsily. Big night. Almost dying and all.
He had no idea what she was talking about. The cut on his back? It was no big deal. Annoying, yes. But life-threatening? No. The only threat some guy with a knife posed to them was catching him drunk enough not to defend them. The bastard had come close to that tonight. But it wouldnt happen again, Tom vowed silently to himself. As long as Maddie was with him, he would not get so drunk that he blacked out or that he couldnt fend off some asshole with a blade.
Tightening his arms around her, he leaned forward. She made a sound of protest as he stood up with her in his arms, but she settled quickly against his chest. He laid her down gently on the couch, tucking the blankets in around her chin.
Sleep, he murmured, smoothing her hair away from her creamy brow. There was something eminently satisfying about making love to a woman until she lost consciousness. He watched her eyelashes flutter down. She was out like a light in a matter of seconds.