KATHLEEN TESSARO
THE FLIRT
Copyright
This novel is entirely a work of fiction.
The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are
the work of the authors imagination. Any resemblance to
actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is
entirely coincidental.
Published by HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk
1
Copyright © Kathleen Tessaro 2008
The author asserts the moral right to
be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book
is available from the British Library
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Ebook Edition © 2008 ISBN: 9780007330676
Version: 2017-12-08
Praise for Kathleen Tessaros previous bestsellers:
More heart than youll ever find on a catwalk written with élan and panache.
Daily Mail
Its friendship, not elegance, that proves Louises real saviour, and the friendships that develop through the book are drawn carefully and with insight.
Independent
A perfect pick-me-up.
Cosmopolitan
Its surprising that this is Kathleen Tessaros first novel as her style shows the confidence and ease of a more seasoned writer. A charming, entertaining novel.
Punch
Table of Contents
Copyright
Praise
Chapter 1 - La Vie Bohème
Chapter 2 - A Self-Made Woman
Chapter 3 - Tea for Table Five
Chapter 4 - 45 Chester Square
Chapter 5 - Free Lunch or a Shag
Chapter 6 - Armenian Plumbers
Chapter 7 - The King of the Tennis Ball
Chapter 8 - A Stranger at the Garrick Club
Chapter 9 - 111 Half Moon Street
Chapter 10 - A Subtle Twist of Fate
Chapter 11 - The Interview
Chapter 12 - The Rules
Chapter 13 - Professional Massagers of the Female Ego
Chapter 14 - La Dame aux Camélias
Chapter 15 - High Tea at Claridges
Chapter 16 - A Brief History of the Professional Flirt (A Small Digression)
Chapter 17 - The Worlds Most Exclusive Hairdresser
Chapter 18 - Another Moriarty Original
Chapter 19 - A Mans World
Chapter 20 - Nick the Nose
Chapter 21 - Make Me a Willow Cabin at Your Gate
Chapter 22 - The Cardinal Rule (A Moment of Silence, Please, for Freddie)
Chapter 23 - A Clean Break
Chapter 24 - The Ghost Chair
Chapter 25 - The C Word
Chapter 26 - Breakfast at Graff
Chapter 27 - Professional Massagers of the Female Ego at Large (Part One)
Chapter 28 - Professional Massagers of the Female Ego at Large (Part Two)
Chapter 29 - No Ordinary Mark
Chapter 30 - Drip, Drip, Drip
Chapter 31 - Professional Massagers of the Female Ego at Large (Part Three)
Chapter 32 - To the Lighthouse
Chapter 33 - The Savoy
Chapter 33 - The Savoy
Chapter 34 - All Hail Athena
Chapter 35 - Love According to Flick
Chapter 36 - The History of the Cyrano (Another Digression)
Chapter 37 - The Perfect Plan
Chapter 38 - The Perfect Plan (Hughies Version)
Chapter 39 - Venus Blinks
Chapter 40 - The Invitation
Chapter 41 - On the House
Chapter 42 - Its Me Emily
Chapter 43 - Walk with Me
Chapter 44 - Into the Care of Mr Lewis
Chapter 45 - International Polo Player
Chapter 46 - Leticia Eats
Chapter 47 - The Last Resort
Chapter 48 - The Next Generation
Chapter 49 - Waiting
Chapter 50 - Meant for Better Things
Chapter 51 - A Suitable Client
Chapter 52 - Unusual
Chapter 53 - The Opera
Chapter 54 - Liberty
Chapter 55 - Professional
Chapter 56 - Perspective
Chapter 57 - Two for the Price of One
Chapter 58 - Domestic Harmony
Chapter 59 - Faux Pas
Chapter 60 - Speed
Chapter 61 - A Deadly Virus
Chapter 62 - The Good Wife
Chapter 63 - A Cold November Evening
Chapter 64 - Life Jogs On
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Also by Kathleen Tessaro
About the Publisher
La Vie Bohème
The ad appeared in the Stage in the second week of September, when the Edinburgh Festival was officially over and real life made its unpleasant appearance again in the collective consciousness of the large number of unemployed young actors who populate the London area.
It read:
Unique situation available for an attractive, well-mannered, morally flexible young man. Hours irregular. Pay generous. Discretion a must.
Please send photo and brief romantic history to:
Valentine Charles
111 Half Moon Street
Mayfair, London
Hughie Armstrong Venables-Smythe was sitting at his usual table, next to the window in Jacks Café, armed with a pen hed nicked from the waitress, a strong cup of builders tea and his mobile phone, which was running out of credit. Outside, the sun was radiant, the air sharp with a brisk autumn breeze. Elderly shoppers, dragging battered tartan trolleys, paused to examine the merits of the half-price bleach in pink plastic baskets outside the Everything For a Pound shop on Kilburn High Road. Others hurled themselves into bargaining sessions with the red-faced Irish butcher, his bacon suspiciously reasonable.
Here, Hughie was among his people; living the front-line, hand-to-mouth existence of a jobbing actor in NW6, still quite a rough neighbourhood according to his mother, despite the recent boom in house prices.
Spotting the ad, he circled it and leant back, satisfied. In his trade, buying the Stage and circling ads was considered an entire days work. He lit a fresh cigarette to celebrate.
Hed only just started smoking; Marlboro Lights. It was a disgusting habit. Hed picked it up from his girlfriend Leticia, who was full of the most delightfully disgusting habits known to man, of which smoking was easily the most socially acceptable. At twenty-three, it made him feel sophisticated. But then Hughie needed all the help he could get, especially as Leticia was a great deal older than him and more sophisticated than he was ever likely to be. Although theyd only been (he was thinking of calling it going out. But was it really going out if in fact you never went anywhere or did anything but just met several times a week in strange, dark places to have wild, wordless, pornographic sex? Probably not. The proper social heading was more likely to be seeing one another, which theyd only been doing for about two weeks), Hughie was already violently in love.
Ah, Leticia!
What was not to love?
Everything about her was perfectfrom her glossy, black bob, doe-like brown eyes and soft, pink Cupids bow lips, to the way she screamed, Spank harder, you horny little bastard! in the alleyway behind the bespoke lingerie shop she ran in Belgravia.
Closing his eyes, he silently thanked the Lord above, as he did many times a day now, for the particular good fortune that forced him to sit down next to her on that crowded number 12 bus. From the first moment he felt her delicate hand creeping up his inner thigh as they passed Marble Arch to the hasty exit they both made at Piccadilly Circus, hed known that the course of his life was changed for ever. Until that day, God had been little more than a vague concept but afterwards, Hughie concluded that no other force in the universe couldve so perfectly answered all of his prayers.
Then, taking another drag, he frowned.