So I lay down in Saras bed just after eleven oclockand was still awake three hours later. I couldnt sleep with her staring down at me from the walls, asking me wordlessly why I saved Abby but couldnt save her.
Her eyes haunted me.
Finally, around two-thirty in the morning, I snuck out of her room and down the hall to Vics, where I climbed into bed with him. He barely even noticed. He just scooted over to make room, then went back to snoring softly.
I would never have gotten in bed with Jace, because Marc would never have forgiven either of us. He knew that Jace and I had made a real connection, and that Jace would be happy to revive it. But Vic and Marc had been partners for years, and Marc trusted him completely. Mostly because Vic had never shown any interest in me sexually. He was a friend, and one who would understand why I couldnt sleep in his dead sisters bed.
In minutes, I was asleep, but I woke up with the first rays of sun and crept back into Saras room to keep from hurting her mothers feelings.
I dressed and showered early, and after breakfast I said goodbye to Michael, Manx and Brian. Then Vic drove me to the airport in Atlanta. My plane landed in Dallas just before noon, and I made my way to baggage claim, where Jace waited, his blue eyes sparkling in the fluorescent glow from overhead. Kaci stood at his side, chestnut waves in a ponytail behind one ear. She had her hands stuffed into the pockets of a faded pair of jeans, her jacket unzipped over her favorite long-sleeved tee.
She hadnt seen me yet, and was anxiously scanning the crowd. Then Jace tapped her shoulder and pointed me out.
Kacis hazel eyes found mine, and her face lit up with relief and excitement. She took off through the throng, hair trailing behind her, moving at human speed because of her weakened state. And hopefully in consideration of the people around her. Even so, Jace panicked the moment she left his side. I could see it in his eyes. Hed lost sight of her in the crowd, and was seconds from seriously losing his cool.
I caught his eye and shook my head calmly; I could see her.
A second later she collided with my midriff, but lacked the strength to even push me back. I thought you werent coming back, she mumbled into my jacket, and her arms tightened around my waist.
What? Why wouldnt I come back? I dropped my bag and put both hands on her shoulders, prying her away gently until I could see her face. She was panting from the brief exertion, and her face was flushed with effort beneath the sickly pallor of her skina recent development.
But I smiled to reassure her, and she grinned back, evidently convinced I was real.
Kaci stepped back and took my bag in both hands, already turning toward Jace when she spoke. Greg said you were hurt, and I thought youd stay in Georgia till you got better.
I took the bag from her, afraid shed keel over with the additional weight. Im fine, Kaci. See? I stomped my right foot on the floor, demonstrating my own sturdiness. Not even a limp. And you know why?
Why?
Because I Shifted. I switched to a whisper in concession to the presence of so many humans. Shifting can heal injuries in a fraction of the time it would have taken if I stayed in human form.
Well, good for you. Kaci shrugged and headed for Jace, dismissing my less-than-subtle hint with an easy toss of her hair. Im not injured.
I growled beneath my breath. Two months earlier, I would never have believed a thirteen-year-old could be harder to deal with than an infant. I guess thats why nature starts most women off with babies and lets them grow into teenagers.
Jace took charge of my bag, and I gave him a quick hug. Hows the leg? he asked, eyeing me carefully when I pulled away.
Just a little sore. But these make me look badass, huh? I pushed back my sleeve to show off my new battle scars, and he whistled in appreciation, then laughed. Wheres Ethan? I asked, tugging my sleeve back into place.
Kaci grinned, pulling her MP3 player from her front pocket. Hes trying to hook up with the girl at the Starbucks counter.
I scowled. Hook up with her? I wasnt sure whether I should be more bothered by Kacis too-casual phrasing, or my brothers obvious disdain for the concept of monogamy. Guess he was getting tired of white rice.
Kaci nodded sagely. Yeah, but I dont think hes really after coffee.
Jace grinned sheepishly at me over her head, and I rolled my eyes. Lets go home. And no more hanging out with Ethan. Youre supposed to be under the supervision of your mental elders.
We retrieved my brother from the food court, where he sat in front of a tall cup of something slathered with whipped cream, across from a girl in a green Starbucks apron. He grinned all the way to the car.
During the three-hour drive from the airport, Kaci fell asleep against the car door, her earbuds in place, blasting the latest teen-angst anthem. I watched her breathe, amazed by how peaceful she looked, all things considered.
Because Kaci Dillon had not led a peaceful life. Not even for a werecat.
Kaci wasnt born into any Pride. In itself, that wasnt incredibly unusual, as the ever-growing population of strays might suggest. But Kaci wasnt a stray. She was a rare genetic anomalya werecat born to two human parents.
And so far, she was the only one of her kind wed ever found.
Wed only known for about six months that, in spite of generations of belief to the contrary, it was indeed possibleif unlikelyfor a werecat and a human to procreate. The children of such rare unions were humans whose DNA contained certain recessive werecat genes. Those genes would have no effect on the child unless they were one day activated by a bite or scratch from a werecat in cat form.
Normal humans cant survive a werecat attack. Their bodies fight the virus and eventually they die of the infection. So all strays were once humans who already had the necessary werecat genes before they were attacked.
Kacis parents both carried those recessive genes, though they never knew it. Their unlikely pairing resulted in one daughter who didnt inherit any werecat genes. And in Kaci, who got them from both sides. She was a full-blooded werecat, born of two humans, and shed had no idea until puberty brought on her first Shift.
I cant even imagine what that must have been like. So much unexplainable pain and an unfathomable transformation. In the height of her pain and terror, completely ignorant of what was happening to her, she accidentally killed her mother and sister. And in the process, shed temporarily lost most of her sanity.
Kaci had wandered on her own for weeks, stuck in cat form because she had no idea she could Shift back, much less how to do it. She did what she had to do to survive, mostly out of instinct, but when we found her and showed her how to regain her human formand with it, her sanityshe was horrified by what shed done on four paws.
So horrified that shed sworn never to assume her feline form again, convinced that if she did, she would hurt someone else.
But by refusing to Shift, she was only hurting herself.
Watching her sleep, I was shocked to realize Kaci was nearly as thin now as shed been when I first saw her. She was slowly killing herself, and I had to do something to stop it. To help her help herself.
It was nearly four in the afternoon when we pulled through the gate onto the long gravel driveway leading onto my familys property. The Lazy S ranch lay before us, winter-bare fields on both sides of the driveway. Deep tire ruts cut into the eastern field at an angle, leading to the big red barn, quaint with its gabled roof and chipped paint. And at the end of the driveway lay the house, long and low and simple in design, in contrast to the buildings my father designed in his professional life.
Jace parked behind Ethans car in the circular driveway, and the guys disappeared into the guesthouse, where my brother Owen was setting up a Rock Band tournament.
I grabbed my bag and headed for my room, not surprised when Kaci followed me. My mother had fixed up the bedroom Michael and Ryan once shared for her, but the tabby did little more than sleep there. She spent most of her time shadowing me, convinced that if she could learn to fight well enough in human form, shed never have to Shift again. And no matter what I did or said, I couldnt convince her otherwise.
In my room, I dropped my duffel on the bed, and Kaci plopped down next to it on her stomach, her legs bent at the knee, feet dangling over the backs of her thighs. Hey, you wanna go see a movie tonight? Parker gave me twenty bucks to vacuum the guesthouse a couple of days ago, and Ive barely been off the ranch all week.
Groaning, I unzipped the bag and pulled my shampoo and conditioner from an inside pocket. Kaci, dont clean for the guys! Theyre perfectly capable of picking up their own messes, but if you act like a maid, theyll treat you like one.
She frowned, her feelings hurt by my reproach, and I cursed myself silently. It should not be so hard for me to talk to one little girl. But then, Id never expected to be someones mentor. Hell, Id probably never even be anyones aunt.
I grinned to lighten the mood and took another shot. Besides, if you feel like vacuuming, there are plenty of perfectly good floors in the main house. Like mine, for instance. I made a sweeping gesture at my beige Berber carpet, which could certainly use the attention.
Kaci laughed, and all was well. So, what about the movie? You buy the tickets, and Ill buy the popcorn.
I walked backward toward the bathroom, hair products in hand. Its a school night.
She swirled one finger along the stitches in my comforter. I dont go to school.
You could. I left that possibility dangling and turned into my private bathroom, the only real advantage to being the sole daughter out of five children. Kaci pouted at me through the open doorway as I set the shampoo and conditioner on the edge of the tub. You know how to make that happen.
The original plan had been for Kaci to start eighth grade in Lufkin, at the beginning of the second semester. My father had acquired the necessary documentationbirth certificate and shot records under the name Karli Sandersand she would be his niece, recently orphaned and left to our care. Shed picked out a new haircut and colorlong, dark layersand we were relatively sure that with those precautions taken, no one would ever connect Karli Sanders with Kaci Dillon, whod disappeared from her home in southern British Columbia during an attack by a pack of wild animals.
Of course, it helped that Kacis family was no longer looking for her. She was presumed dead in the same attack that had killed her mother and sister. Her father had erected a memorial headstone for her months earlier, and by all accounts seemed to be trying to come to terms with his loss and grief.
But in the end, none of that mattered because by the time the spring semester had started a week earlier, Kaci was too weak to go. She got winded just walking to the barn, and took several naps a day. Her skin was pale and sometimes clammy, and she got constant migraines and occasional bouts of nausea.
She couldnt go to school until shed Shifted and regained her strength. Until then, my mother was homeschooling her in the core subjects.
Neither of them was enjoying it.
I cant do it. Kacis frown deepened as she rolled onto her back to stare at my ceiling, rubbing her forehead to fend off another headache.
Yes, you can. I can help. I went back to the bag for my toiletry pouch and hair dryer, still talking as I set them on the bathroom counter. Dr. Carver says that once youre Shifting regularly, youll get better very quickly. Then you can go to school like a normal kid.
Normal! She huffed and rolled her head to the side to meet my gaze. What the hell is that?
I groaned at her language. How the hell had she managed to pick up all of my bad habits and none of my good ones? You know you cant talk like that in front of the Alpha, right?
Kaci rolled both big hazel eyes at me. You do.
Damn it!
From somewhere near the front of the house, my mother laughed out loud, having obviously heard the entire exchange. Shed always said she hoped I had a kid just like me, but neither of us had expected that to happen quite so soon.
But Kaci was right, of course. I sank onto the bed with a frustrated sigh, and she rolled onto her side to look at me, her face in one hand, her elbow spearing the comforter. Kaci, you do not want to model your life in this Pride after mine. A smart girl would learn from a few of my mistakes, instead of choosing to repeat them all just for the experience.
She frowned and stared down at the comfortor. My dad didnt let me cuss, either.
My heart jumped into my throat. Kaci hardly ever mentioned her father, or anything else from her previous existence, as if it were easier not to talk or even think about them. Though I understood that, I also knew that ignoring her problems wasnt the healthiest way to deal with them.
But before I could encourage her to go on, she changed the subject with a sudden shake of her head. Besides, you look like youre doin okay to me.
But you could do better. You could do anything you want. Starting with public school.
Kaci sighed and flopped back over to stare at the ceiling, her hands folded across her stomach. But I could see wistfulness in her eyes. She wanted to go to school, no matter what she said to the contrary. Id been in her positionaside from the whole refusing-to-Shift thingand knew exactly how badly it sucked to be stuck in one place, under constant, nagging supervision.
At the end of the bed again, I dug in the duffel and pulled out my bloody, ruined jeans, tied up in a white plastic Wal-Mart sack.
Whats that smell? Kaci rolled onto her stomach and sniffed the air with a spark of interest as I dropped the bundle on the floor. That night I would have to fire up the industrial incinerator behind the barn and toss the whole mess inside.
Hmm. I wonder if its still hot from the recent mass cremation.
Youre probably smelling the stray who slashed through my jeans, I said, glancing at the bag in irritation. That was my favorite pair.
No, thats not it. She stuck her nose into my duffel and sniffed dramatically, and when she rose, the zipper pulled several strands of thick brown hair free from her ponytail to hang over her cheeks. Its Marc. She shoved the loose strands back from her face. Your underwear smells like Marc!