Frowning, she walked to her bedroom door and pushed it open.
His eyes wide and startled looking, Bryce gaped at her from the middle of her bedroom. Behind him two big black suitcases lay open on top of her new glittery, orange Indian bedspread. Empty plastic containers that had previously held Bryces ties and cuff links, along with all that lingerie that shed stored on her highest shelves, littered her Oriental carpet.
She gasped. When her gaze flew to a black garter belt lying by the bed, Bryce, who was usually calm, tensed. Hostile, bright gray eyes flicked over the baby. Then he flushed and sighed heavily, clamping his lips shut determined to say nothing. She drew in a breath.
So, it was up to her, she who could never speak up at meetings. Her throat went dry, and the first words seemed to stick there. Yyoure not leaving
Dont start in on me Look, Im sorry I hoped to avoid this
So, it was over. Just like that.
The realization slammed through her before she stopped all thought. Vaguely she was aware of Vanilla clinging even as the babys bottom lip swelled in infantile disdain for this tense, cruel giant.
If only she, Lizzy, could feel such instinctive disdain at Bryces betrayal, but she feltif you could call it feelingonly paralyzing numbness and inadequacy. He was abandoning her just as her father had abandoned her mother.
Lizzy was bleeding to death, only the blood was invisible. Their perfect life together was over. She had tried so hard. Too hard maybe.
Where are you going? she finally whispered, not wanting to have this conversation in front of the baby.
Bryce was dragging his designer Italian suits out of her closet. For no reason at all she saw Cole, his face white, beneath a brilliant azure sky on that awful long-ago afternoon when shed broken up with him.
Cole didnt matter.
Bryce stared at her and the baby and then hurled his suits on the floor with such violence Vanilla hid her face against Lizzys throat. When the baby peeped at him again, her bottom lip was huge and her big blue eyes suspicious.
Is it the baby? Lizzy whispered.
Bryce slammed the lid of his suitcase down.
Its only half-full, she said when he made no answer.
Suitcase latches clicked. Do you think I can packnow? With you here?
She kept her voice low so as not to frighten Vanilla. Is it because I dont want to go to the party? Because I dont dress sexybecause I dont wear thatthat lingerie?
When Vanilla began to whimper, Lizzy soothed her. Its all right, darling. Its all right. She swayed back and forth with the baby resting on her hip.
Hell, yes, its the party. You tore up the first invitation. Its a lot of things. He glared. Do I have to spell it out for you?
Like the beginning of all relationships, theirs had been mysterious and wonderful, so wonderful they hadnt asked questions. Theyd met in a bar. Shed been out with girlfriends one Thursday night. Everybody had been talking to everybody, but the place had been loud and crowded, and Lizzy, who wasnt any better in crowds than she was at business meetings at work, hadnt felt like talking to anybody.
Until shed noticed Bryce watching her.
Hed joined their table. Hed been as cool and confident as shed been riddled with self-doubt. Her friend Amanda had known one of his friends from Princeton. Then somebody had said something funny. Bryce and she had both laughed when nobody else hadas if it were their own private joke. And she didnt get jokes usually.
Hed bought her a drink. Their hands had touched accidentally. Shed felt a spark. Hed gone still at the exact moment shed yanked her hand from his.
When relationships end, women no longer want the mystery.They want answers. Why is that?
Nothing was ending. This was a mistake. If they could only talk or have sex, they would sort it all out. But they hadnt had sex. Not for a while.
She stared at the red tie dripping from his closed suitcase. II want to know whats wrong.
When we met, you were so exciting. You even dressed differently.
And now Im boring?
His gray eyes drilled Vanilla. Im going to that partyalone.
Because Im boring?
You never wanted to talk about it before. Why now?
When the baby leaves When Walker leaves
I thought you were wildfreeexciting. But you have this whole family thing.
Theyre in Texas.
They call all the time. Not to mention half your tribe is living with us.
Soyou think Im boringin bed and out of it. Careful to keep her voice low, she stroked the babys hair.
Dont make me say things I dont want to say. He looked past her. Ill come back for my things laterwhen youre calmer.
I am calm. She measured out the words very carefully, her eyes glued to the point of the red tie sticking out of his suitcase.
But your eyes are wild.
You said you wanted wild.
From the bed he picked up a dark rectangular object about the size of a book. Carrying his black suitcase with the red tie flapping, he strode toward her only to stop and place the rectangular object on the dresser next to where she was standing. I found this in your brothers things.
You went through Walkers things?
I was packing, looking for my stuff stored in his bedroom. He stopped. Oh His eyes changed, and he let the word hang ominously. Nell called, too. His smug expression filled her with dread.
She froze. Nell?
I told her I wouldnt be here to give you her message, so she called back and left a voice mail for you. He swallowed.
You listened to it, didnt you? Youre leaving me, and you listened to my
Maybe now isnt the time to listen to her message.
What does that mean?
Wait until youve had a good nights sleep. Thats all. Dont watch that video, eithernot until youre feeling stronger.
Video? Too much was being thrown at her. Vaguely Lizzy realized the black rectangular object hed placed on the dresser was a VCR tape.
Im strong!
Bryce stalked past her with his bags, his long legs carrying him through the apartment to the entryway, out the door. When his footsteps thudded down the stairs, Vanilla looked at her, a tentative smile beginning at the edges of her cherubic mouth. Then the doors three floors below boomed shut behind him, and Vanilla clapped.
Oh, Vanilla, you are a little rascal, she said numbly.
Vanilla smiled, and Lizzy tried to smile, too, but her lips were quivering too much.
Im not a weak, softhearted wimp. Lizzy reached for the cordless phone on the dresser, intending to listen to her voice mail tonight. She could take anything this city and Nell could dish out. She could. Gently she set Vanilla down and got her a container and a lid for her to play with.
Lizzy had six messages. Nells was the last. It was short and sweet; well, not sweet.
Im sorry to do this over the phoneLiz. I should have told you today. I meant to. A drumbeat pounded in Lizzys throat. I should have told you before you went to Texas. It just isnt working out Youre too young. Your viewpoint is too softhearted and naive for this city. You dont do the kinds of stories we do. Your research is sloppy.
What? What?
Nells voice hadnt stopped, but Lizzys mind went blank. When she could think again Nells brisk voice was saying, budgets cuts. I have to let you go. Your severance check will be ready first thing tomorrow. My assistant put your things in boxes. You need to turn in your security badge.
What? Boxes! No! No
Lizzy listened to the message a second time, but that only made the horrible words cut deeper.
Slowly she hung up the phone and picked up the videotape and turned it over in her hands. Vanilla had abandoned the container and lid and had crawled into the living room, over to her green couch. Pulling herself up and patting the cushions, she looked over at Aunt Lizzy, waiting to be congratulated on her accomplishment.
Aunt Lizzy was probably white as a sheet. Darling, thats wonderfu Her voice broke. Babies were so self-confident when they faced their challenges. They didnt quit.
Lizzy was shaking too hard to speak. Still holding the videotape, she gulped in a breath. Then she went to the couch and sank down beside Vanilla, hoping to draw strength from her.
Darling, darling, what would I do if I didnt have you?
Blue eyes sparkling, Vanilla grinned at her impishly.
Lizzy fought back hot wet tears. She wasnt going to cry, and she wasnt going to call home, either, no matter how much she suddenly wanted to talk to her mothereven though Mother had never understood her.
Nobody could know the terrible turn her life had taken. Nobody.
Lizzy wasnt going home to Texas in defeat. Maybe her perfect life was unraveling, but she wasnt going home. Shed get her job back and shed get Bryce back, too. It was all a mistake. A terrible mistake. All she needed was a plan. Affirmations. Shed do some affirmations.
Downstairs the big doors banged, and she heard the fa miliar tread of boots on the stairs.
Walker! Shed forgotten about him.
The video!
Her brother was loping up the stairs two at a time as she shoved the tape underneath the cushions of her couch.
Wiping her eyes with the back of her hands, she pulled Vanilla into her lap and fought to look calm and composed.
By the time Walker entered the apartment and called to her, she and the baby were playing an innocent game of patty-cake.
Hows it going, Little Lizzy?
F-fine. She swallowed.
Their eyes met, and she knew he knew something was wrong.
Walker could read souls.
He waited for her to say something. When she didnt, he reached for the baby, who started clapping.
Then all he said to Lizzy was, Whats for supper?
Three
Houston, Texas
Caesar
Hi there. Cherrys lazy velvet voice caressed Caesar across twenty feet of darkness, but it was as if she reached out and circled his cock with her hand and lowered her head. His groin got as hot as if her talented tongue was already wetting him there.
Not that he was in the mood for sex or her lies. Hell, hed just flown in from a board meeting in San Antonio. His temples ached with tension. Hed gone to the meeting hoping to iron out the details of the Golden Spurs Ranch Museum opening and the following celebration.
Only Joanne had been there. Shed asked the board to tell him to break up with Cherry or step down. Shed listed various ranch crises and how little hed done for the ranch lately and how much shed done. And how much Cole Knight had done as welldamn his rotten soul!
You have no right to air our dirty laundry to the board, hed growled when shed gone on and on about Knight.
My children own stock in the ranch, shed said.
She has no right to be here, hed yelled at the board, pointing toward Joanne.
Then Leo, the CEO stood up. I invited her here.
Who is shewho are you, any of youto tell me what to do?
I said, Hey, there Cherrys warm, silky voice floated to him again.
Sorry. He rubbed his aching temples. My minds a million miles away.
Break up with her? In a week?
He was furious at the board, at Joanne, at himself, and at Cherry. And he had a hard-on.
So what else was new?
Lately he hadnt thought about Cherry much when he wasnt with her. Why was that? But when he was with her, she consumed him.
Lying naked beside her, he loved her female scent and the dark color of her nipples. He loved the way they lay together afterward, drinking Scotch from the same bottle. The only reason hed agreed to marry her was that shed said she wouldnt let him screw her anymore if he didnt. When shed stuck to her guns, hed figured hed get out of the bargain somehow. Then hed given her a great big diamond and a credit card at her twentieth birthday party to appease her. Ever since hed felt like his life was hurtling toward some fatal destiny that he was powerless to avoid.
He slammed the door of her Houston studio apartment and stomped toward her.
Want me to give you some special candy, lover buver? she whispered.
His groin tightened. Special candy was their secret code.
Caesar flushed as he pitched the wad of credit card bills onto the low table near the bed.
Did you bring me a present? she cooed.
He looked around, pained. Sequined costumes, thong panties and bras dripped from chairs. T-shirts and dirty jeans littered the stained, turquoise shag carpet. Lingering in the closed room was a stale smell that he associated with airless rooms and unwashed sheets after too much sex.
Joanne was a neat freak. He used to hate the way she hung up each garment as she took it offeven when he was on fire to have herand the way she stripped the sheets off the bed seconds after he came.
Caesars head ached. Hed taken more Tylenol than he shouldve today, but the tablets werent cutting it. The pill bottle in his glove compartment was running on empty. He felt old today, way older than fifty. Everybody told him, at least those who dared, that he was looking bad, that Cherry was dragging him down.
Hed given Cherry lots of presents because her joy in receiving them had always been rapturous. For her, presents were an aphrodisiac.
When he spoke, all he could manage was a rough, semiharsh whisper that didnt sound much like himself. Youve been buying yourself quite a few presents lately. More than I can afford.
She laughed. Oh, is that all thats eatin you, big daddy? Youre rich. Im poor.
Land rich. Cash poor.
If it was the other way around, Id give you the moon.
Would she? Would she even look at him twice?
Relax, big daddy. Relax. She sounded young and spoiled and very self-confident.
He knew their affair was as ridiculous as everybody said it was. When hed agreed to marry her, hed made himself the laughingstock of the state. Joannes lawyers were having a field day, and still, he couldnt stop seeing Cherry. He simply couldntnot when he remembered how hed felt before hed met her.
Sheets rustled as she rolled lazily across her bed toward him. Her diamond ring flashed. Why dont you come to bed? Ive gotten real horny lying in this big ol bed playing with myself.