At that moment it was easy to forget the entire reason I was in Phoenix: because Im being hunted by the Reduciata. Because were being hunted, really.
If they can kill us before we resurgebefore we both remember our past lives and regain our powerswell be gone permanently.
But none of that mattered as I sat there bantering with Logan. I knew, was sure I was only minutes away from reaching my goal. The Reduciata was way in the back of my head. As far as I was concerned, Id practically won already.
Then it fell apart. I fell apart.
Id told him I was a history buff, and right before dessert was served I pulled out what I said was a rare antique. A journal.
His journal.
This was the moment.
Id realized that morning that Id been stupid to think the necklace could bring his memories back. The necklace that initially brought my memories back. Some of my memories, anyway.
Of course, I thought it was Quinn who made the necklace
Anyway, that didnt matterthe journal, full of his handwriting, would give me back my destined lover. My Earthbound counterpart. The god to my goddess. I pulled it out, opened it, and wondered if he would recognize his own writing. Then I slid it across the table.
He laid his hands on the pages and nothing.
I tried to smile. To act like everything was okay. But I could almost feel the shards of the world clattering down around me. On top of me.
In the previous weeks Id run for my life, seen people die, had my entire view of reality revamped, and been betrayed deeper than I ever thought possible.
All to get me here to this boy. For him to remember me. To love me. And then for us to somehow save a world thats dying more and more quickly every day from a mysterious virus I have no idea how to fix.
I couldnt stay there at the restaurant with him. It was too hard. I threw down enough money to cover the bill, mumbled an apology, and took off without waiting for my sundae.
About ten feet from the table I stopped. I couldnt help it; I looked back.
And he was just staring at me. He called my namea question, almostbut I ignored him. And even if he had run after methrown the doors open, tried to look for mehe wouldnt have found me. Because in that shadowed space between the two sets of doors, I changed.
Changed into my mother.
I do it every time Im in public. Use my powers as an Earthbound to wear her face the way I desperately did on the bus in Portsmouth. I pretend it keeps me safe.
Theres a chance it does.
I walked back to my hotel andof coursethe door had been kicked open. I didnt know if a Reduciate assassin was to blame or simply the fact that my hotel was so crappy, but it wasnt worth risking my life to stay to find out. In a fear-fueled panic I grabbed my stuff and got the hell out of there.
Five minutes later, with nothing but the belongings in my backpack and an already aching legit still hasnt fully healed from the plane crash that took everything from meI moved to another cheap hotel. A less-than-pristine establishment that didnt ask questions when I laid an antique gold coin on the dingy counter, one of many from a collection Quinn and I had stored two hundred years ago. It was a win for both parties; they got to feel like they were ripping me off, and I got a bed and shower that didnt cost me anything I considered important.
The next day the bedbug welts showed up. Large, painfully itching bumps all over my arms and legs that make me look like I have a disease. Or, at the very least, cleanliness issues.
I hate them. And there is no lotion that takes that burning itch away.
If Id been smartno, not smart exactly, but slower and less desperateI would have stopped at a store somewhere. Gotten a pretty, long-sleeved shirt to cover my scabby arms. After all, I have money. Plenty of money. Ive been selling a little gold at slimy pawnshops in every city where the Greyhound gave us a break. Hoarding it. Just in case.
But I wasnt smart and I wasnt slow.
I was in love instead.
So I went to Logans house early Monday morning, walked to school with him. Followed him all the way to the front doors. Stuck to him like glue, hoping somethingsomething!would click in his head. I suspect it wasnt any one thing that made him drop his eyes and lie to me when I asked if he had plans for dinnerit was everything all mixed together. The welts, the rumpled clothes, the stalker-ish behavior, the desperation emanating from me in waves.
I waited for him after school, but he must have seen me and gone another way. I should have camped out at his house instead. All I had to show for my two hours was a nasty sunburn.
Some goddess Im turning out to be.
Im ten minutes into my tepid showerwhich actually feels pretty good on my reddened shoulderswhen I realize I have one more item. One more shot at getting Logan to believe me. I shove my soggy head around the shower curtain to glance at the tiny clock. 7:04 a.m. Still time.
I get at least most of the suds out of my hair before half tripping out of the bathtub and drying off as fast as I can. Yesterday he left the house at 7:35. I can still make it. My hair is a mess, but it cant look much worse than it did the last time he saw me, so itll have to suffice.
I grab a gold coin and clutch it in both hands, taking a moment to close my eyes and release my hopes into the universe. Just let this work! Youd think an Earthbounda literal goddesswould be able to handle something as easy as restoring memories to her eternal partner. But none of my abilities can help with this.
My leg is throbbing as I approach his house, and I cant stop my heart from racing when Logan bursts out of his front door. He looks around warilyI guess I really got to himbut he doesnt notice me duck behind the bushes. I follow him from across the street and touch the heavy silver necklace for confidence. The one that brought me back my memories but failed to bring back Logans.
The one he made for me two hundred years ago. He just doesnt know it.
Now.
I jog quietly up behind him before saying, Logan?
He whirls around, and I get a glimpse of real fear painted on his face before stubborn anger takes over.
I have something to show you, I announce before he can speak.
Listen, Tavia, Logan says, rubbing at his neck in what Rebecca-in-my-head instantly recognizes as his nervous twitch. I dont really understand why you keep bringing me stuff. Its its kind of weirding me out.
Will you at least look at it? I beg. I have no pride left. Not anymore. None of my attempts have had any effect whatsoever, and everything Ive sacrificedeverything others have died forwill mean nothing if I dont succeed.
Logan studies me for a long time, and I try to keep my face relaxed. Fine, Logan finally replies after what feels like ages. Whatever.
I hold out my hand and prayto whom, I dont know; the God I was raised on, the other Earthbounds, whoever made the Earthbounds; I dont care anymorethat this will work. The coin falls from my palm into his with a barely audible smacking sound.
He lifts the gold circle close to his facebut not too closeand studies it. Then he sighs and hands it back to me. In a show of what I can only imagine is pity, he curls my fingers around the coin and then his hand around mine. Tavia, I know someone must have told you this is gold, but youve got to stop believing everyone so easily. I He hesitates, and my heart sinks. I can sense the impending rejection. I think youre a really nice person. And pretty, he blurts out and then looks like he surprised himself with those words. But I cant help you.
He lifts the gold circle close to his facebut not too closeand studies it. Then he sighs and hands it back to me. In a show of what I can only imagine is pity, he curls my fingers around the coin and then his hand around mine. Tavia, I know someone must have told you this is gold, but youve got to stop believing everyone so easily. I He hesitates, and my heart sinks. I can sense the impending rejection. I think youre a really nice person. And pretty, he blurts out and then looks like he surprised himself with those words. But I cant help you.
Hes talking again before I can latch onto the word pretty too hard. Im just a kid, and I think you seriously need some professional help.
My hands are so weak from disappointment that I can barely hang on to the coin. It would be my luck that when we split up supplies, I took the bag of gold coins I made as Rebecca, and Benson got the bag that Quinn made. Or maybe I made them allIm a little fuzzy on the details.
I swallow hard at the thought of Bensonthe boy I thought I was in love with until he betrayed mebut push it away just as I have innumerable times in the last week. It hurts too much to dwell on. To wonder where the Reduciates are keeping him. If hes being treated humanely. If if
I cant. Logan. Focus on Logan.
You dont understand, Logan. I can hear the crazy-laced desperation in my voice, but I cant stop. I dont know what else to do. If I dont pull out something impressive Im going to lose him.
Theyre coming after you, I whisper, trying to sound so seriousand so sane. They almost killed me last week and theyre after both of us now and I have got to find some way to make you remember and Ive tried everything and I force myself to stop; Im just babbling. I plead with my eyes for him to believe me.
Whos coming after me? Logan asks after a second, indulging me as one would a very young child telling an obvious lie.
The I almost tell him everythingthat its the Reduciata who are on his trail. That they are going to kill him. Probably in a matter of days, if not sooner. Possibly the Curatoria too, considering Mark and Sammi were hiding me from them. But I know that the specifics will only make me sound even more like I have a couple of screws loose.
His face is a rumpled mess of emotions. Despite my failed attempts at subtlety, he obviously thinks Im out of my mind.
But theres something elsethat pull that made him ask if he knew me the first day we met. That attraction that makes him want to forget all logic and throw himself at something completely unexplainable.
I understand. I felt that way toward him.
We stand there, steeping in the silence, and for just a moment it looks like hell believe me. Or at least that hell listen. But good sense takes over, and he sets his lips in a hard, straight line. Tavia, I
Ill show you, I interrupt, my hair starting to fall across my eyes in damp strands as sweat rolls down my temples. Even at seven thirty in the morning the heat is so intense I know it cant be natural. Watch. I glance in both directions and then open my hands to reveal a pencil.
I probably should have come up with something more original.
Logan just rolls his eyes and starts to push past me.
Wait! I gesture vaguely at the yard to my left and conjure a table and two chairs into existence. Show him what I can do: create something from nothing. He doesnt know itll disappear in five minutes.
Its not just any dining set. Its the hand-carved oak set we shared as Quinn and Rebecca two hundred years ago. Maybe maybe seeing it will do something. Spark some memory. Maybe not enough for a full re-awakening, but enough that hell take me seriously.
I turn back. Theyre after us because were special, I say with solid conviction, keeping my voice even. You can do this too, you just dont remember. And you have to remember. At least try! I wave again, and the table fills with our dishes. A rug that used to sit in front of the fireplace. His favorite coat draped over the chair. Im ready to recreate the entire house if I have to.
Each time I make a new item appear, I glance back to check his reactionto see if Im stimulating any memories.
But he just looks confused.
Then angry.
Anger does not come naturally to himnever has. Im not sure who that thought comes from in my tangled web of memorieswhich one of my predecessors felt compelled to share this tidbit of informationbut I know its true. Whatever Ive donewhatever he thinks of methis has pushed him over the edge.
Stop! he hisses very quietly, but with a harshness that swings me around to face him.
Please, I whisper, and somehow I know its the last word Im going to get in.
No, he says. Take your hidden cameras and practical jokes somewhere else. Im done.
Logan
But he puts his hands on my shouldersfirmly, not roughlyand moves me out of his way. Dont follow me anymore.
Im gasping for breath as sobs of failure slam into me, overwhelming me like ocean breakers. I cant I cant just
An unseen force slaps my back and throws me against Logan as the world ripples beneath my feet. The motion tosses us to the sidewalk, splaying us both on the ground. My elbow stings, and blood drips from a cut across Logans eyebrows. Im staring disbelievingly at the vibrant red when a burst of sound reaches us, deafening me even as I scream at the top of my lungs. Logans face contorts into a mask of horror, and I whip my head around to follow his line of sight.
All I see are flames.
Flames where Logans house used to sit.
We both scramble up and run toward it, our mutual desperation to see whats happened so intense that I hardly feel the sharp pain jolting up my leg.
His house is gone.
A smoking pile of charred rubble sits in its place. Orange flames dance over its remains, staining the sky. If I didnt already know, I couldnt have guessed what sort of structure had previously stood thereeverything has collapsed. The flames burn so hot that even from several hundred feet away the waves of heat feel like they might blister my skin.
This is a fire meant to kill.
Meant to kill Logan.
And I know who set it.
We have to get out of here now, I say, whirling and grabbing Logans arm, trying to drag him with me.
I might as well be trying to shove a boulder. He stares, dumbstruck, at the horrifying destruction.
A column of thick, murky smoke is already rising high. Its going to attract the attention of everyone for miles around. Reduciata handiwork for suresubtle is not in their vocabulary. If I have any shot of hiding the fact that Logan survived, I have to get him out of here. Logan, please!
I dont hear the sound of tires screeching as a car pulls up beside us, but I smell the acrid scent of rubber a second before something comes down over my head, blocking my sight. I fight and tear against the suffocating material, but a sharp jab stings my arms, burns for a second, then blackness.