You wanted them piled up beside your tower, didnt you? Go look, if you want. I know where they are. Was there anything else you wanted me to do here?
Lets go back, I told him shortly.
It took me a while to regain my composure. We were about half-way back before I could trust myself to start asking questions. Where are you from? It was banal, but it was a place to start.
Originally, you mean? Thats sort of hard to say. I move around a lot. Im not very welcome in most places. Im used to it, though. Its been going on since the day I was born.
Oh?
I gather that my mothers people had a fairly simple way to rid themselves of defectives. As soon as they laid eyes on me, they took me out in the woods and left me there to starve or to provide some wolf with a light snack. My mother was a sentimentalist, though, so she used to sneak out of the village to feed me.
And I thought my childhood had been hard.
She stopped coming a year or so after Id learned to walk, though, he added in a deliberately harsh tone. Died, I suppose or they caught her sneaking out and killed her. I was on my own after that.
How did you survive?
Does it really matter? There was a distant pain in his eyes, however. There are all sorts of things to eat in a forest if youre not too particular. Vultures and ravens manage fairly well. I learned to watch for them. I found out early on that anyplace you see a vulture, theres probably something to eat. You get used to the smell after a while.
Youre an animal! I exclaimed.
Were all animals, Belgarath. It was the first time hed used my name. Im better at it than most, because Ive had more practice. Now, do you suppose we could talk about something else?
Chapter 4
And now we were seven, and I think we all knew that for the time being there wouldnt be any more of us. The others came later. We were an oddly assorted group, Ill grant you, but the fact that we lived in separate towers helped to keep down the frictions to some degree.
The addition of Beldin to our fellowship was not as disruptive as Id first imagined it might be. This is not to say that our ugly little brother mellowed very much, but rather that we grew accustomed to his irascible nature as the years rolled by. I invited him to stay in my tower with me during what I suppose you could call his novitiate that period when he was Aldurs pupil before he achieved full status. I discovered during those years that there was a mind lurking behind those bestial features, and what a mind it was! With the possible exception of Belmakor, Beldin was clearly the most intelligent of us all. The two of them argued for years about points of logic and philosophy so obscure that the rest of us hadnt the faintest idea of what they were talking about, and they both enjoyed those arguments enormously.
It took me a while, but I finally managed to persuade Beldin that an occasional bath probably wouldnt be harmful to his health, and that if he bathed, the fastidious Belmakor might be willing to come close enough to him that they wouldnt have to shout during their discussions. As my daughters so fond of pointing out, Im not an absolute fanatic about bathing, but Beldin sometimes carries his indifference to extremes.
During the years that we lived and studied together, I came to know Beldin and eventually at least to partially understand him. Mankind was still in its infancy in that age, and the virtue of compassion hadnt really caught on as yet. Humor, if you want to call it that, was still quite primitive and brutal. People found any sort of anomaly funny, and Beldin was about as anomalous as you can get. Rural folk would greet his entry into their villages with howls of laughter, and after theyd laughed their fill, they would normally stone him out of town. Its not really very hard to understand his foul temper, is it? His own people tried to kill him the moment he was born, and hed spent his whole life being chased out of every community he tried to enter. Im really rather surprised that he didnt turn homicidal. I probably would have.
Hed lived with me for a couple hundred years, and then on one rainy spring day, he raised a subject I probably should have known would come up eventually. He was staring moodily out the window at the slashing rain, and he finally growled, I think Ill build my own tower.
Oh? I replied, laying aside my book. Whats wrong with this one?
I need more room, and were starting to get on each others nerves.
I hadnt noticed that.
Belgarath, you dont even notice the seasons. When youre face-down in one of your books, I could probably set fire to your toes, and you wouldnt notice. Besides, you snore.
I snore? You sound like a passing thunderstorm every night, all night.
It keeps you from getting lonesome. He looked pensively out the window again. Theres another reason, too, of course.
Oh?
He looked directly at me, his eyes strangely wistful. In my whole life, Ive never really had a place of my own. Ive slept in the woods, in ditches, and under haystacks, and the warm, friendly nature of my fellow-man has kept me pretty much constantly on the move. I think that just once, Id like to have a place that nobody can throw me out of.
What could I possibly say to that? You want some help? I offered.
Not if my towers going to turn into something that looks like this one, he growled.
Whats wrong with this tower?
Belgarath, be honest. This tower of yours looks like an ossified tree-stump. You have absolutely no sense of beauty whatsoever.
This? Coming from Beldin?
I think Ill go talk with Belmakor. Hes a Melcene, and theyre natural builders. Have you ever seen one of their cities?
Ive never had occasion to go into the east.
Naturally not. You cant pull yourself out of your books long enough to go anyplace. Well? Are you coming along, or not?
How could I turn down so gracious an invitation? I pulled on my cloak, and we went out into the rain. Beldin, of course, didnt bother with cloaks. He was absolutely indifferent to the weather.
When we reached Belmakors somewhat overly ornate tower, my stumpy little friend bellowed up, Belmakor! I need to talk with you!
Our civilized brother came to the window. What is it, old boy? he called down to us.
Ive decided to build my own tower. I want you to design it for me. Open your stupid door.
Have you bathed lately?
Just last month. Dont worry, I wont stink up your tower.
Belmakor sighed. Oh, very well, he gave in. His eyes went slightly distant, and the latch on his heavy iron-bound door clicked. The rest of us had taken our cue from our Master and used rocks to close the entrances to our towers, but Belmakor felt the need for a proper door. Beldin and I went in and mounted the stairs.
Have you and Belgarath had a falling out? Belmakor asked curiously.
Is that any business of yours? Beldin snapped.
Have you and Belgarath had a falling out? Belmakor asked curiously.
Is that any business of yours? Beldin snapped.
Not really. Just wondering.
He wants a place of his own, I explained. Were starting to get under each others feet.
Belmakor was very shrewd. He got my point immediately. What did you have in mind? he asked the dwarf.
Beauty, Beldin said bluntly. I may not be able to share it, but at least Ill be able to look at it.
Belmakors eyes filled with sudden tears. He always was the most emotional of us.
Oh, stop that! Beldin told him. Sometimes youre so gushy you make me want to spew. I want grace. I want proportion, I want something that soars. Im tired of living in the mud.
Can you manage that? I asked our brother.
Belmakor went to his writing desk, gathered his papers, and inserted them in the book hed been studying. Then he put the book upon a top shelf, spun a large sheet of paper and one of those inexhaustible quill pens he was so fond of out of air itself, and sat down. How big? he asked Beldin.
I think wed better keep it a little lower than the Masters, dont you?
Wise move. Lets not get above ourselves. Belmakor quickly sketched in a fairy castle that took my breath away all light and delicacy with flying buttresses that soared out like wings, and towers as slender as toothpicks.
Are you trying to be funny? Beldin accused. You couldnt house butterflies in that piece of gingerbread.
Just a start, brother mine, Belmakor said gaily. Well modify it down to reality as we go along. You have to do that with dreams.
And that started an argument that lasted for about six months and ultimately drew us all into it. Our own towers were, for the most part, strictly utilitarian. Although it pains me to admit it, Beldins description of my tower was probably fairly accurate. It did look somewhat like a petrified tree-stump when I stepped back to look at it. It kept me out of the weather, though, and it got me up high enough so that I could see the horizon and look at the stars. What else is a tower supposed to do?
It was at that point that we discovered that Belsambar had the soul of an artist. The last place in the world you would look for beauty would be in the mind of an Angarak. With surprising heat, given his retiring nature, he argued with Belmakor long and loud, insisting on his variations as opposed to the somewhat pedestrian notions of the Melcenes. Melcenes are builders, and they think in terms of stone and mortar and what your material will actually let you get away with. Angaraks think of the impossible, and then try to come up with ways to make it work.
Why are you doing this, Belsambar? Beldin once asked our normally self-effacing brother. Its only a buttress, and youve been arguing about it for weeks now.
Its the curve of it, Beldin, Belsambar explained, more fervently than Id ever heard him say anything else. Its like this. And he created the illusion of the two opposing towers in the air in front of them for comparison. Ive never known anyone else who could so fully build illusions as Belsambar. I think its an Angarak trait; their whole world is built on an illusion.
Belmakor took one look and threw his hands in the air. I bow to superior talent, he surrendered. Its beautiful, Belsambar. Now, how do we make it work? Theres not enough support.
Ill support it, if necessary. It was Belzedar, of all people! Ill hold up our brothers tower until the end of days, if need be. What a soul that man had!
You still didnt answer my question any of you! Beldin rasped. Why are you all taking so much trouble with all of this?
It is because thy brothers love thee, my son, Aldur, who had been standing in the shadows unobserved, told him gently. Canst thou not accept their love?
Beldins ugly face suddenly contorted grotesquely, and he broke down and wept.
And that is thy first lesson, my son, Aldur told him. Thou wilt warily give love, all concealed beneath this gruff exterior of thine, but thou must also learn to accept love.
It all got a bit sentimental after that.
And so we all joined together in the building of Beldins tower. It didnt really take us all that long. I hope Durnik takes note of that. Its not really immoral to use our gift on mundane things, Sendarian ethics notwithstanding.
I missed having my grotesque little friend around in my own tower, but Ill admit that I slept better. I wasnt exaggerating in the least in my description of his snoring.
Life settled down in the Vale after that. We continued our studies of the world around us and expanded our applications of our peculiar talent. I think it was one of the twins who discovered that it was possible for us to communicate with each other by thought alone. It would have been one or both of the twins, since theyd been sharing their thoughts since the day they were born. I do know that it was Beldin who discovered the trick of assuming the forms of other creatures. The main reason I can be so certain is that he startled several years growth out of me the first time he did it. A large hawk with a bright band of blue feathers across its tail came soaring in, settled on my window ledge, and blurred into Beldin. How about that? he demanded. It works after all.
I was drinking from a tankard at the time, and I dropped it and went into an extended fit of choking while he pounded me on the back.
What do you think youre doing? I demanded after I got my breath.
He shrugged. I was studying birds, he explained. I thought it might be useful to look at the world from their perspective for a while. Flyings not as easy as it looks. I almost killed myself when I threw myself out of the tower window.
You idiot!
I managed to get my wings working before I hit the ground. Its sort of like swimming. You never know if you can do it until you try.
Whats it like? Flying, I mean?
I couldnt even begin to describe it, Belgarath, he replied with a look of wonder on his ugly face. You should try it. I wouldnt recommend jumping out of any windows, though. Sometimes youre a little careless with details, and if you dont get the tail feathers right, youll break your beak.
Beldins discovery came at a fortuitous time. It wasnt very long afterward that our Master sent us out from the Vale to see what the rest of mankind had been up to. As closely as I can pinpoint it, it seems to have been about fifteen hundred years since that snowy night when I first met him.
Anyway, flying is a much faster way to travel than walking. Beldin coached us all, and we were soon flapping around the Vale like a flock of migrating ducks. Ill admit right at the outset that I dont fly very well. Polgaras made an issue of that from time to time. I think she holds it in reserve for occasions when she doesnt have anything else to carp about. Anyway, after Beldin taught us how to fly, we scattered to the winds and went out to see what people were up to. With the exception of the Ulgos, there wasnt really anybody to the west of us, and I didnt get along too well with their new Gorim. The original one and I had been close friends, but the latest one seemed just a bit taken with himself.