Fuck it, he said to himself, Im here now. Lets see it through.
Chapter Three
The rain was threatening to turn to sleet by the time Ben pulled up across the street from the large red-brick Victorian house where Brooke lived. He killed the engine, and for a few seconds his thoughts turned to the whisky flask in his bag that hed topped up with fifteen-year-old Islay malt before setting out from France. Instead he reached for his crumpled pack of Gauloises and his Zippo lighter. Anything to delay the moment where hed have to walk up to the door of Brookes flat on the ground floor.
As he sat and smoked and watched the rainwater streaming down the window, he wondered again whether turning up like this unannounced was the right thing to do. And he thought back again to the events of three months ago that had left his personal life in such a mess.
Life had never turned out as quiet as hed have liked it, but the previous September had been an eventful time even for him. It wasnt every month that you got wrongly accused of murder, dragged into an intrigue involving Russian mobsters and harried across most of Europe by an army of police commanded by a particularly determined, ambitious female SOCA agent named Darcey Kane.
But narrowly avoiding being tortured to death, crushed in a car wreck, getting incarcerated in an Italian prison or pulverised by a Russian attack helicopter hadnt been the worst things that had happened to Ben that month. None of them had remotely compared to the shock of seeing Brooke in the arms of another man.
Injured and on the run, Ben had been heading for Brookes secluded holiday place in the Portuguese countryside, thinking it would be empty and he could lie low there for a while and recuperate. Hed been wrong. Approaching the cottage in darkness, hed been surprised to see a light in the downstairs window, and peeked through the shutters. The sight hed witnessed had made him recoil. Brooke and the unknown man had been sitting by candlelight, drinking wine, both obviously fresh from the shower. There was only one possible conclusion to draw.
Ben had slipped away unseen. From Portugal hed beaten a hazardous path to Italy, from there to Monaco, then Georgia and back to Rome. Along the way, he and Darcey Kane had joined forces to defeat the gangsters who were trying to kill them, and unmask a conspiracy at the heart of British Intelligence. One of the toughest parts of the job had been escaping the amorous clutches of the he had to admit it extremely attractive and alluring raven-haired Darcey. When it was all over and theyd ended up at a loose end together in Rome, shed made it very clear to him that her idea of a weekend in the eternal city wasnt about visiting the Sistine Chapel and the Colosseum. I wont give up, you know had been Darceys disappointed parting words to him as he headed back home to France. I always get my man in the end.
The first thing Ben had done on his return to Le Val had been to check the diary for Brookes next lecture. Hed made sure he wasnt around when she arrived, and as a pretext to stay away for the two days of her visit hed made up a story about needing to drive to Nantes to check out a new security system for the armoury room, and from there to Paris to see a prospective client. In reality, he was lying low in a hotel just a few miles away in Valognes. He was all too aware of how weak and pathetic he was acting, but he couldnt help it. Hed sooner have faced a charging bull than get into a confrontation with Brooke.
Jeff Dekker, the former SBS commando who was Bens right-hand man at Le Val, had finally cracked under the strain of having to cover for him all the time, and called him on his mobile. Jesus, Ben. What the hell is going on with you two? Shes upset and confused. First she comes back from holiday to find out that her boyfriends been arrested and chased all around Europe by the cops, now youre avoiding her like shes got leprosy. You cant go on like this, mate.
I dont want to talk about it.
Brookes flight home from nearby Cherbourg back to London had been booked for 7.15 on the evening of her second day. Just after eight, feeling quite miserable and shamefaced, Ben had come skulking back to Le Val and headed for the farmhouse kitchen to pour himself a glass of wine. Hed been so preoccupied that hed failed to sense anyone elses presence in the room.
Were you just going to sneak around behind my back? Her voice sounded taut with emotion.
Ben almost dropped his glass. He whirled around.
Brooke got up from the chair in the corner where shed been waiting for him. Her face was flushed almost as red as the auburn of her hair, and there was a glint of fury in her green eyes. Arent you even going to tell me who she is, then?
Who? Ben managed, totally confused.
Brooke snorted. Who? Do you think Im stupid? Ive talked to her, Ben. She called here. You were off sneaking around trying to avoid me, so I happened to pick up the phone.
I dont know what youre talking about.
Really? Lovely time together in Rome? Must do it again sometime? Not ringing any bells?
Ben stared blankly for a moment, then it hit him. You mean Darcey Kane? The instant it came out, he knew how feeble it sounded.
Brookes eyes had misted over and a tear rolled down her cheek. Of all the guys in the world, Ben Hope, I never would have thought you would do this to me. And you didnt even have the guts to tell me to my face.
Stop right there. This is insane.
What were you doing in Rome?
You know what I was doing in Rome. Trying to stay out of jail. You saw the news, didnt you?
I know you had a terrible time, and Im sorry, Brooke snapped. I mean, what were you doing with her?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Then whats she talking about?
Its a long story.
Ill bet.
I cant believe youre accusing me of this, Ben said, and then added, You, of all people.
Now he was in trouble. He regretted it instantly.
Brooke glared at him. Whats that supposed to mean?
He was committed. Point of no return. You know perfectly well. I saw you and your fancy-man in Portugal.
My what? Brooke exploded.
You heard me.
You went to my place?
I needed somewhere to go. I didnt think youd be there. I saw you through the window. The two of you looked very cosy together. Dont insult me by denying it.
Ben! That was Marshall my brother-in-law!
Ben reeled. Youre having an affair with your brother-in-law? The banker?
Bloody hell, what do you take me for? Of course not!
Then what were the two of you doing there together?
All right. He followed me to Portugal, Brooke sighed. He thinks she corrected herself thought he was in love with me. Hed been stalking me for weeks. I went to the cottage to get away from him. He turned up and I told him once and for all that hed better clean up his act.
Ben was speechless for a few moments as he digested her words. Hed replayed the scene so many times inside his head; now he struggled to revisualise it in a whole new way. But he was wearing a bathrobe, he protested.
Ben was speechless for a few moments as he digested her words. Hed replayed the scene so many times inside his head; now he struggled to revisualise it in a whole new way. But he was wearing a bathrobe, he protested.
Thered been a storm, she countered angrily. He was soaking wet so I got him to take a shower. Id just had one myself when he turned up.
The candles the wine
You know it doesnt take much of a storm to take out the power there. And the wine was for our nerves. He was in a real state. So was I. What you saw was me trying to reason with him gently. Im a psychologist. Its what I do.
Ben stared at her. He had to admit what she was saying was possible. But suddenly a new thought was dawning on him. So this prick Marshall was stalking you all that time and you didnt even think to tell me?
Oh, that would have been just great. Then youd have gone and kicked the shit out of him, and then what? A right mess wed all have been in. And my sister wouldve found out. Phoebes emotionally fragile. It would have destroyed her. I had to deal with it myself.
Is that how you see me? Some kind of violent bastard who can only deal with problems by kicking the shit out of people?
No, sometimes you shoot them too.
How could you not have trusted me? he yelled.
Brooke gave a scornful laugh. Like you trusted me? How could you think I was cheating on you? All the times I told you I loved you did you think I was lying?
The argument had raged on for a long time, both of them equally carried away by their sense of outrage, neither of them willing to relent. By the time Ben had sensed it was going too far, tried to back down and apologise, a lot of hurtful things had been said and the damage had been done.
In the end, Brooke had stormed off in a white-hot rage. The last hed seen of her was the taxicab disappearing up the track from the farmhouse.
Two days later a letter had arrived in the post, coldly and formally addressed to Major Benedict Hope, Managing Director, Le Val Tactical Training Centre. Just three terse lines to say she was resigning from her post with immediate effect and wouldnt be back.
When Ben had tried contacting her to persuade her to change her mind, hed found her phone numbers changed and his emails bouncing back. His letters were returned unopened.
And so now, three months later, here he was outside her ground-floor flat, seriously questioning the wisdom of being here. Unbuckling the straps of his bag, he took out the present hed bought for her, carefully wrapped in Christmas gift paper with little Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeers all over it. It had taken him three attempts to get it right. But at least he was pretty sure shed like the present inside. Brooke was half French on her fathers side, and a big movie fan, so hed bought her a collection of Eric Rohmer films. He couldnt recall having ever seen one himself.
Feeling like a man stepping up to the gallows, he got out of the Land Rover, crossed the street, went in the little gate that led through Brookes flower garden and rang her doorbell.
No response. He tried again. Still nothing. The package was too big to shove through the letterbox. He didnt think that a mangled DVD box set would please her much. Hed have to post it to her.
With a strange mixture of bitter disappointment and extreme relief, Ben turned away. As he was about to start heading back towards the Land Rover, a tall, good-looking Asian man came strolling down the street and walked through the gate. He was wearing a heavy parka, carrying a shopping bag. Seeing Ben on the steps, he stopped and smiled. Hi, he said warmly. You must be Ben, right?
Ben eyed the stranger uncertainly.
Ive seen your photo, said the man. Brooke had it on her desk.
Ben noticed his use of the past tense.
Im Amal, the man said, and as if hed read Bens thoughts he added quickly, Brookes neighbour. I have the flat above.
Youre the writer, Ben said, remembering. Brooke had sometimes mentioned the aspiring playwright upstairs who somehow managed to pay the extortionate rent despite having no apparent form of income.
Trying to be a writer, Amal grinned.
Do you know where Brooke is? Ben asked him.
Amals grin turned into a grimace. Shes not here, Im afraid. Gone to Vienna with her friend Sam.
Sam, Ben thought. Right.
He paused a few beats. I had a present for her, he said, looking down at the package in his hand.
I can take that, if you want. Ill make sure she gets it.
Id appreciate that.
Amal glanced up at the sky. The sleet was coming down more heavily, haloed in the amber streetlight. You want to come inside for a coffee? Its bloody freezing out here.
Ben shook his head. Id better get going. As he was walking out of the gate, Amal called back, Ben?
Ben turned.
Sam is short for Samantha, Amal said with a significant look. Just in case you didnt still, you know what I mean.
Ben nodded. Thanks for letting me know. Happy Christmas, Amal.
You too. Take care, all right?