Suddenly I realised that it didnt matter any more what Matt liked or didnt like. He wouldnt be here to throw a major wobbler if I stopped dyeing my roots, wearing heavy black eye make-up and vampire-style black clothes
It was a look that seemed less and less me as I got older. I mean, it was what I was into at seventeen, when I ran off with him, but I didnt think Id be stuck in a timewarp forever afterwards.
But now I could do what I liked.
I can do what I like, I told Angie, brightly.
You always did, she said sourly. Wasnt that part of the problem?
Only in the major things, the ones that mattered, like the painting. In little things Matt had it entirely his own way. And I hadnt realised we had a problem.
I was about to add that until the morning Matt asked for a divorce I hadnt realised how old he was either, but just managed to stop myself in time: like Angie and Greg, Matt was a good ten years older than I.
Greg was an awful, red-faced old roué who tried to jump on women the moment he was alone with them. He was Fathers type, I suppose, but without the leonine good looks and Father did go in for his mistresses one at a time, as a rule.
Greg will be home in a couple of weeks, if you want any help, Angie offered.
Oh, no thanks, Angie, I said hastily. Im sure I can manage.
Her eyes fell on the stack of magazines shed brought, and she pounced on the top one. Now, whats that doing there? I didnt mean to bring that old copy of Surprise!. I only kept it because it had photos of that gorgeous Mace North in it.
Who?
She exhibited the magazine, and I scanned the man on the cover with no recognition whatsoever, although his was a very distinctive face. His slightly oblique, hooded dark eyes seemed to be staring back at me assessingly (and probably finding me wanting).
You must know him! Hes a well-known actor, and hes got this deliciously plummy voice, a bit like Jeremy Irons.
You know I dont watch much TV. But it sounds an unlikely combination with that face, I commented. He looks a bit barbaric.
Its the Tartar blood.
Oh? I thought tartar was something you found on your teeth, I said disagreeably.
Not that sort of tartar its a place in Russia. Mongolia? The High Steppes, or Chaparral, or something? His great-grandmother was a Tartar and thats where those fabulous cheekbones come from, and the come-to-bed eyes She gazed at the magazine and sighed. Hes sort of like a young Bryan Ferry crossed with Rudolf Nureyev.
Rudolf Nureyevs dead.
You must have seen photos.
Yes, but I dont find men in tights very appealing. Id never have made Marian.
After a minute she smiled weakly: Sunrise over Yellowstone Canyon.
You will have your little joke, she said, hoisting herself to her feet and tucking the copy of Surprise! firmly under her arm. Id better go and sort out the roof rats. Ill soon have the little buggers out of there.
Her car was parked opposite, outside Miss Grinchs, who would not be pleased, because she liked the front of her house kept clear so she had a better view of what her neighbours were doing. Had Angie been a man visiting me while my husband was away she would have been straight across with a milk jug or sugar bowl to try to catch me out in some imagined misdemeanour.
I dont think Id ever done anything to surprise her I must have been such a disappointment. Youd think shed have lost interest. Apart from Angie and Greg, Matts friends didnt bother me when Matt was away, and if Greg came to the door when I was on my own Id pretend I was out.
I always checked from the landing window first, after one nasty experience soon after I married Matt, when Greg found me on my own and was horribly overfriendly in a near-rape kind of way.
He was even like that in front of Angie at parties, but she didnt seem to mind particularly. Maybe she thought he was all mouth and no action. Maybe he was all mouth and no action when it came to the crunch I didnt intend finding out.
When shed gone I finally phoned Em, the Ruler of Upvale Parsonage, told her about the impending divorce, and asked if I could come and live at home for a while.
OK, she said.
Will you tell everyone? Father?
Hes always thought Matt was a waste of space. Anyway, he wont be very interested hes got a new mistress.
I groaned. Is she in the Summer Cottage yet?
Not yet. Shes renting a house down in the valley. But shes always round here, and theyre all over each other. Its revolting. And shes got twin little girls who sit about giggling. She leaves them here when she goes out with Father.
I supposed it was better than leaving them in an empty house, but not much Em didnt like children, so she wouldnt see their presence in the house as being anything to do with her.
Hes never had one with children before, has he?
No, unless you count Brans mother, and that was unintentional. Hell probably get tired of her, if she wont move into the cottage. You know how he likes everything convenient.
Flossie says hello, I told her.
Ems voice immediately softened to a medium baritone that was positively sugary. Give her a big kiss on her shiny black nose from me, and tell her Frost cant wait for her to come and live here.
Flossie was petrified of Frost, a giant grey lurcher with questionable habits (a bit like Father, really), but I appreciated the sentiment.
I will and thanks, Em.
I havent done anything.
Youre just there.
Where else would I be? she asked, sounding puzzled.