Kelly, however, looks doubtful. I dont know. Id have to come back sooner or later, and without a degree Id struggle to get a job.
For as long as I own this café, therell be a job here for you. I know its not much, but its something. I cup my daughters hand, giving it a gentle squeeze of reassurance. Just have a think about things, thats all Im asking. Why dont you head off home? Fern will be here shortly, and I can manage till then. I nod towards the café door and the sprawling green park beyond. Go and hit those books.
Kelly reaches for her black leather satchel and slings it across her body. Thanks, Mum. And Ill think about it, the travelling.
Im sure shes only saying it to placate me, but I humour her back, leaning down and kissing the baby-soft skin of her cheek. Theyre growing up fast, her and Josh. If only I could slow it down a touch before theyre gone for good, lost to significant others and the daily grind.
Do. Theres more to life than exams. I may not have got here by the most direct route, but Im happier now than Ive ever been before. I cant help but smile with a quiet satisfaction. It took me the best part of forty years to achieve what I wanted, so dont you go beating yourself up for not having your life mapped out at your age. Youll get there soon enough. Ive got everything I want now. It just took a bit longer than I thought it would, thats all.
Kelly makes for the door. Everything you want except a man, she says cheekily, quickly closing the panelled door behind her whilst I stand agog, wishing I was a bit sharper.
Shes right though. Its the sad truth that I do wish I had a bit of male company once in a while. I dont need a man in my life, but itd be nice to have someone special to share the highs and lows with. Theres been no one serious since Clint, nothing more than a few paltry dates that didnt lead to anything fulfilling. Im only forty: surely Ive not used up my share of romance already?
I sink into one of the wooden chairs, the plump gingham cushion softening my landing, as I reminisce.
Clint Thornhill had been my childhood sweetheart, a wild bad boy with convincing patter. As a teen, I hadnt noticed his (many) obvious flaws, instead blindly worshipping the ground his bovver boots walked on. Id fallen hard and deep, smitten by his white-blonde hair and strong features. Hed reminded me of my first major celebrity crush, Matt Goss from Bros. The similarity had set my heart aflutter.
Id had to pinch myself to believe Clint would be interested in me, but for some reason hed kept hanging around, turning up at places he knew Id be. When he finally asked me to the pictures Id accepted in a flash. We shouldnt have wasted our money because we hadnt watched the film: instead wed snogged for two hours solid in the back row of the local fleapit. My lips had felt like they were burning, a blissful pain searing through my fifteen-year-old self that was full of both danger and excitement.
Two and a half years later we were married, a small register office do on my eighteenth birthday. Seven months after that came the two blue lines on the white plastic stick that had revealed I was expecting Josh, and Id been so, so happy. Other people my age seemed so unsure, but Id got it all a husband, a council flat, a baby on the way. Id foolishly thought Id got it sussed.
But it hadnt taken long for me to realise my mistake in marrying too young, and although Id never regret Josh and Kelly, I do regret Clint. Mostly I regret the shame he brought on my family, the absolute heartbreak both his mum and mine had suffered when hed been sent to prison ten years ago. Armed robbery, like one of those bank hold-ups in a cartoon. Hed even been wearing a black balaclava in an attempt to hide his face, just to live up to the stereotype. It was almost laughable. All he needed was a swag bag and a black-and-white-striped jumper to complete the Burglar Bill look.
The balaclava hadnt worked, anyway. The bank teller hed threatened had recognised him despite his disguise. In court shed said that she knew it was Clint whod pointed that gun at her because shed recognise his eyes anywhere. Funny how the piercing blue eyes Id lost myself in so many times were the very thing that eventually tore us apart.
After that things changed. Every time I walked into a shop people would stare, gossiping behind their hands about what an idiot I must be to have ended up saddled with two kids and a criminal for a husband; and his poor mum, youd think shed given birth to the devil himself from the way people spoke to her. People judge you on how your kids turn out, and Viviennes parenting skills were well and truly under scrutiny after Clints escapades. Theres no hiding in a small town like this.
Soon after Clint was locked up, I filed for divorce. Unreasonable behaviour, although I could have easily named adultery as the reason for the breakdown of our marriage. Clint might have made me feel like one in a million at the beginning, but a string of affairs throughout our married life left me with zero confidence. He came back grovelling time and time again, plying me with platitudes about how it was me he loved and how he only ever strayed when drunk, but Id become a laughing stock, one of those women. His prison sentence was a chance for me to break free and reclaim my fragile heart, although Im still recovering from the damage our toxic relationship caused.
If Im being completely honest, thats why I threw myself into The Lake House Café with every ounce of my heart and soul. The café had been a welcome distraction from the romance that was sadly missing in my life. It gave me a purpose, along with a ready-made excuse for turning down the occasional offers of dates I did get always claiming to be too busy for love when really I hadnt found anyone I was willing to take a chance on. Once bitten, twice shy, as they say.
But todays a Saturday, and Saturdays mean one thing football coaching in the park. And football coaching means the handsome Italian with the floppy jet-black hair; tall, lean and athletic with rich olive skin and strong, taut thighs. Yes, Saturdays are especially pleasurable. Hes exceptionally easy on the eye.
It hardly matters that Ive barely said a word to him in all the months hes been running the kiddies football course. Ive seen him, and thats enough. My heart flutters more than I care to admit at the thought that he might pop into the café for an Americano and a slice of gingerbread at the end of the session. He doesnt call in every Saturday, but when he does it brings a spring to my step and a smile to my face. Sadly, its the highlight of my week, so I hope today will be one of the days he rewards his hard work with some home baking. Please, please, please
Pushing back the chair, I catch my reflection in the window. I plump up my dark brown curls to give them more volume and smack my lips forcefully together in the hope itll enhance their colour. Ensuring I look my best, just in case.
The jangle of the bells over the door catches my attention and my heart pounds for all the wrong reasons as I see my assistant Fern. Her face is blotchy, her eyes narrow and red. She sobs loudly and I dash towards her, placing my arm around her shoulder.
Fern! Whatevers the matter, sweetheart?
The young woman pulls away, dragging the backs of her index fingers underneath her eyes in a bid to wipe away the tears. It works, but she smears her mascara in the process, leaving prominent dark streaks stretching to the edges of her face. She looks like a bedraggled version of Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra.
Fern! Whatevers the matter, sweetheart?
The young woman pulls away, dragging the backs of her index fingers underneath her eyes in a bid to wipe away the tears. It works, but she smears her mascara in the process, leaving prominent dark streaks stretching to the edges of her face. She looks like a bedraggled version of Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra.
Oh, Maggie, its Luke, Fern says, referring to her younger brother. Hes a friendly, handsome boy; energetic and confident, the polar opposite of super-shy Fern. Hes been in the same class as Kelly since infant school. They dated briefly, and Id been surprised and quietly disappointed when theyd called time on their relationship. Hed been good for her: far better than Mischa, the moody goth girl shed dated last year. Mischa had a notebook full of depressing song lyrics from bands like Depeche Mode and The Cure, and the amount of kohl she used on her eyelids would have given Robert Smith a run for his money. It made her look like a raccoon. Id never understood why Kelly was with her. They had nothing in common. Not once did Mischas purple-coated lips crack a smile, whereas I cant help but smile at the thought of Luke, all youthful effervescence and enthusiasm. Hes a cheerful boy, uplifting and full of zest. Last night he was screaming in pain and saying he couldnt see. Hes been complaining of migraines for weeks, but this was the worst yet. Dad rushed him straight to the hospital and they ran all these tests, dozens of them.
Fern whimpers, helpless, then swallows. When she finally speaks her words hit me like a sledgehammer.
They found out what it is thats making him feel so awful. Its not a migraine, Maggie. Its a brain tumour.
Fern
If Maggie looks stunned by my revelation, she cant feel as shocked as I do. Its still sinking in that this is actually happening to my brother.
It had been one hell of a night, with all of us sat on uncomfortable plastic seats in a strip-lit hospital corridor while we waited for any scrap of information we could garner from the white-coated medics that hurried past us. Mum had started wailing at one point, a deep and hollow baying cry that echoed horrifically around the clinical grey hallway while Id stared at a poster about diabetes testing for three hours solid because if I focussed on that I didnt have to think about all the awful tests Luke was so bravely enduring in another room. It had been, without a doubt, the worst night of my life.
Theyre going to operate on him as soon as they can, but hes too run down right now. Theyre not sure hes strong enough to survive a ten-hour operation, so theyre treating the infection first. I laugh, but it sounds empty and joyless. Its funny, isnt it, that hes got a bundle of cells attacking his brain and trying to kill him but they cant try and remove it because hes got a runny nose and a tickly cough.
The specialists at that hospital are nothing short of amazing. Honestly, theyre some of the best in the world. They know what theyre doing. Maggies calm reassurance is exactly what I need. Shes the voice of reason. So when are they hoping to operate?
I shrug. Its hard to know. As soon as hes well enough for the anaesthetic to not be a danger, I think. Days rather than weeks, from what they were saying.
Repeating this information to Maggie keeps me centred. Its almost as though when Im relaying the cold, hard facts of the story it isnt real, as though my baby brother isnt lying on a hospital bed with tubes sticking out of his body and drips pumping him full of medication. I can pretend everythings fine here, away from the stark, cold corridors of the hospital. Im glad to be at the café and especially glad to be away from my parents, so I dont have to watch them crumble for another minute. Id never seen my dad cry before, but last night he must have cried every tear hed stored up inside.
Its not going to affect my work though, I promise. The customers dont need to know anythings changed. Ill still be here on time every day and I wont be a misery. I wont let you down.
Maggie places her hand on my shoulder and squeezes. You wouldnt be letting me down by putting your family first, Fern. If you need to be at the hospital, you go. This should be the last place on your mind with Luke so poorly. Pearl can always do a few shifts if we need an extra pair of hands, so covers not an issue. I think shes lonely, being on her own. Shed be glad to help out.
Id rather be here, I admit. Although its good to know that Pearls available. Id hate to leave you in the lurch if I need to dash off for whatever reason.
I resist the urge to check my phone for the millionth time, just in case. Id turned the ringer up to the highest volume and made my mum promise to call me if there was any news, no matter how small.
Pearls more than happy to come whenever. Thats the thing about having family close by, theyre always on hand in an emergency.
Pearls related to Maggie by marriage shes Maggies ex-husbands aunt and is a warm-hearted woman with a friendly smile. Shes usually being dragged around the park by her dachshund puppy, and has admitted that she sees the shifts she helps out with at The Lake House Café as some much-needed respite from her livewire canine companion.
Hopefully there wont be any emergencies, I say grimly. At the hospital were sitting around waiting for news and the time goes so slowly. I kept looking at my watch and the hands were moving that slowly I thought it had stopped. At least here I can find things to keep me busy, and itll do me good to see happy faces rather than wallow in self-pity all day long.
If youre absolutely sure, then Im always glad to have you. You know I couldnt run this place without your input. But any time you need to dash off, you go. You dont even need to tell me, just whip off your apron and get out of that door. Familys important, Fern. Im an only child, but I know that the bond between siblings is strong. Even though Kelly and Josh are tearing each other to shreds half the time, theyd be devastated if anything happened to the other.
My heart sinks, Maggies words reminding me of my promise. Ive got a phone call to make.
Can I just have five minutes before I start my shift? I told Luke Id ring someone to let them know whats happening
You take your time, Maggie says soothingly, before switching on the radio. Its playing a rock-and-roll song, the kind thatd normally have me tapping my feet along to the beat. Today I dont feel like dancing. I dont feel like much at all.
Ill go and clear that table, she adds, humming quietly as she starts stacking the plates left by some of the mornings early-bird customers.
Retrieving my phone from my pocket, relieved not to have any missed calls or messages, I scroll through the list of names. Café. Dad. Dentist. Doctor. They all flash before me before I see the name Im searching for. I press the call icon, dread eating me up from the inside. I swallow as the phone rings once, twice, three times, and then a familiar voice answers with a sharp, and slightly irritated, hello.
Kelly? Its me, Fern. Luke asked me to call you