Are you asking me out? she said uncertainly. She knew his wife had left him for another man a couple of years before.
Yes, though Im a bit out of practise with the dating game.
Me too but you definitely owe me a drink for suspecting Id been stealing your property!
*
Being gold, Annies wedding ring had come out of the earth as freshly gleaming as it went in, which was more than could be said for the rusty old tobacco tin shed found just underneath it.
Inside, sealed in a plastic bag, had been a small, worn dog collar and a note which she could remember by heart:
If youre reading this, James, then youve disturbed old Charlie and youre not the man I thought you! I did my best for him, spending a fortune on the vet and his headstone, but blood is thicker than water, so I hope you found the sovereigns up the chimney in the parlour.
Your Great Uncle Ray.
Shed debated whether to show it to James, then decided it would be better if he never knew about it, so sealed it back up again and reburied it under the primroses.
And after all, their evening out had gone very well. Perhaps James had lost one treasure but he might just might have found himself another!
2
Previously published in the RNA anthology
TIPPING THE SCALES
She came up in the fishing nets, her cold, clammy skin like translucent pearl, naked apart from long, silvery hair that clung like wet seaweed right down to the iridescent scales of her tail.
The crew conferred as she sat on the deck, watching them with aquamarine eyes while crunching the best of their hard-won catch between sharp, pointed white teeth. One of them, faster than the others and scenting a profit, caught her as she was about to slither back over the side.
She bit him, too, for his trouble. But she seemed happy enough in the hold; the men wary as they packed the fish with ice and sailed for port, fast.
A tall young man awaited them on the jetty, black curly hair blowing in the wind, eyes the turquoise of a Caribbean Sea. When they brought her up on deck, swathed in a mackintosh, he smiled, dazzlingly.
She remembered her grandmothers stories. Are you my prince? she asked, the first words shed spoken. My destiny?
Thats right, darling, he agreed, handing the skipper a bundle of coloured paper.
He drove her through the early morning light to the fairground by the beach and pulled up outside some wooden doors.
Youll be safe here, he said, carrying her into a large room that smelt of stale seawater, algae and despair. When he switched on the light, great glass tanks cast watery shadows onto the walls and strange shapes moved within each one except the last.
Theres something fishy going on, she said, puzzled.
Not on, in, he replied, heaving her over the side with a splash.
Dont leave me here, she mouthed, bubbling, but his smile now reminded her of a barracuda.
Sink or swim my aquarium needs you. You put on a good performance for the punters and youll get all the fish you can eat. Watch this.
He drained one side of the tank opposite until a large grey seal sat in little more than a puddle then with a sudden shimmer it changed shape to a slender young man with dark, sad eyes.
Ill leave you to get to know each other at a distance, he said, laughing cruelly, and left them in the aqueous half-light.
*
They sat on their fibreglass rocks, their eyes meeting through thick glass. Hes the Owner, explained the sealman. He does that every hour when the aquarium is open and humans pay money to come and watch.
How did he catch you?
Greed I took the bait.
I thought he was my prince until he put me in stale water, she said bitterly. Im fed up to the gills.
He feeds us dead fish, too, and never cleans out the tanks. But you have to do what he says, or he will hurt you. The sealman shuddered, his eyes going dark with remembered pain.
There was a hammering. Whats he doing? she asked.
Changing the signs outside, at a guess. Youll be the star attraction now.
*
I want a mirror and a comb, she said sulkily when the Owner came back in.
Youve got them theyre in that plastic clam shell over there. Now, you keep sitting on that rock and swish your tail occasionally
She slapped the water with it, drenching him from head to foot.
You do that again, and therell be no fish for you today, he said, giving her an evil look. And after the aquariums shut, Ill teach you some manners!
When hed gone to change she looked around her and sighed. How far from the sea are we?
Not far when the front door is open you can smell the tang on the breeze. If there wasnt mesh over my tank Id have been out of here in a flash and running down the beach Im sickening for the fresh, salty sea.
I couldnt run, she said sadly. If I got out, how could I slither so far? My scales need oiling already.
Id carry you, I wouldnt leave you here. But its no use the most we can hope for is that one day he will put us in a tank together.
There was a sliding of bolts and a flood of light from the front of the aquarium. Hush, here come the visitors, he warned. But if you put on a good show, perhaps he wont be angry with you later. His tank filled with water and, with a flick of his flippers, he began to circle.
She watched as the crowd gathered, his tank was emptied again, and the sealman reappeared.
How does he do that? a girl asked.
Its just a hologram projected in there, its not real, her boyfriend told her.
He looks real, she said doubtfully. And what about her?
He shrugged. Its a woman wearing a mermaid tail, thats all. Its not even well made look, you can see the join.
The mermaid bared her teeth at them in a sharp smile and they stepped back nervously. She took up the mirror and began to untangle her silvery hair, humming.
The unearthly hum grew louder and louder until it became a strangely beautiful song that held the visitors fixed, enthralled, to the spot.
Her voice rose higher: the glass walls of the aquarium began to tremble, the water rippled and the fish fled to their farther corners.
The sealman knew the power of that song.
Whats that racket? the Owner demanded. He clapped his hands to his head. My eardrums! Stop it stop singing now.
But it was too late: everything rang and shimmered and swayed and trembled and cracked. Great cascades of water poured out of every tank, swirling a flotsam of visitors, fish and the Owner towards the door.
The sealman, stepping gracefully over the shards, carried her out of the back door and towards the distant sea. The morning sun reflected off their nacreous skin and flashing scales. The crowds fell back, the beach-road traffic stopped, the donkeys ran away and the kites tangled.
From behind came a sudden shout of, Stop them!
This was beyond optimistic: for a seal, he ran fast. The waves were to his waist before anyone even reached the edge of the sea. Then there was a splash as they dove cool, smooth bodies entwined, twisting and turning into the depths.
He gave her a passing, unwary fish, salt fresh.
You are my prince, she said and, as a mark of her favour, bit the offering in half and gave him the head, to seal their union.
3
Previously published by My Weekly
MELTING MOMENTS
I found the new artisan chocolate makers little shop while taking a short cut back to the car after my second Fatbusters meeting. In fact, the leaders parting rallying cry of sumo to svelte quicker than you ever thought possible! was still ringing in my ears when I came face to face with my worst nightmare.
Yet to be truthful, it was more my fiancée Davids worst nightmare than mine, because Id been quite happy with my curvy and generous size fourteen figure right up to the moment when he presented me with three months membership of Fatbusters as a Christmas present and suggested that as soon as Id reached size eight we could set a date for our wedding.
Size eight? I wasnt even sure my bones were size eight, let alone the rest of me! But since he seemed convinced that Id told him I wanted to lose a few pounds in order to look truly gorgeous on my big day, I had to go along with it.
But the trouble was, that even the very idea of dieting made me feel twice as hungry as usual and all I could think of while being weighed today (Id only lost a two measly pounds after practically starving myself for a week!) was that I deserved some chocolate.
Now, irresistibly drawn by the rich aroma wafting across the street, my nose was pressed against the bow window of Nicks Chocolate Heaven, as I gazed longingly at the mouth-watering array laid out on old-fashioned cut-glass stands.
They looked beautiful and hideously expensive. But that was good, because it meant that I couldnt possibly have any Unless, suggested a little devil in my mind, I just bought one single, delicious, self-indulgent treat for being so good all week. That couldnt hurt, could it?
Before I knew it I was in the shop and scanning even more luscious temptations until I made my choice: a chocolate shaped like a rose and filled with coffee and cream truffle, all glossy, dark brown and tempting rather like the proprietors eyes, I discovered, when I finally looked up.
Just the one? he asked, a hint of laughter in his voice.
Yes, just the one, I said firmly. Apart from those liquid and warm brown eyes his thin, bony face wasnt really handsome and his black hair was ruffled and needed a good cut.
Certainly, he agreed, smiling in a way that beguilingly crinkled the corners of his eyes and I hastily revised the not-very-handsome first impression. That smile was a heart-breaker and I just hoped the chocolate didnt turn out to be a diet-breaker, too.
He put the rose-shaped truffle carefully in a little cellophane packet and closed it with a gold twist-tie. I hope you enjoy it, he said, with another amazing smile, and do come again soon.
Im sure I will, I assured him, then hurried off holding up my little bag and feeling the way I did as a child when I won a goldfish at the fair, wondering if the poor little thing would even make it back to the car, let alone home. And of course I could bump into a fellow Fatbuster at any minute or, even worse, someone who knew my fiancé, David!
As I unlocked the car and got in I felt hugely guilty but strangely, that didnt stop me from immediately eating my delicious treat and then hiding the cellophane bag in the glove box. Guilty pleasures always seem to be the best, dont they?
My spirits rose slightly and anyway, one small chocolate couldnt hurt. (Okay, quite big chocolate, actually.) In fact, a little reward like that after every class could be just enough to keep me on course to my size eight wedding dress, even if that still seemed an unattainable dream Davids dream.
*
By my fourth visit to Nicks shop we were on friendly terms. I told him all about the catering business Id set up with my best friend, Annie and he described how hed got into chocolate making.
He didnt question why I only bought one chocolate at a time, but he started keeping samples of new varieties for me to try which it would have been rude to have refused, since he said he trusted my opinion.
I think you have a natural palate for chocolate! You should come on my chocolate making course Im starting with a one day session next month, but then I might do evening workshops after that.
Oh, Id love to! I enthused, then suddenly remembered why that really wouldnt be a good idea. It would just ruin all that hard work because I was managing to lose the pounds, even if progress seemed painfully slow. But perhaps Id better not, I added and then hurried out of the shop.
Back at the car I suddenly found the tears were slowly sliding down my face as I savoured my lovely mohito-cream-centred chocolate, which was the yummiest so far. I was already down one dress size and David kept telling me how much better I looked already so why did I feel so unhappy all the time? Even Annie remarked that I wasnt the fun Katy she used to know and if I turned into a stick-thin bride, then she would look like the biggest bridesmaid in the world in contrast.
Dont be daft, Id said, Im sure David will settle for a generous size twelve, because theres no way I can get any slimmer than that.
And if he really loved me, he would settle for that. I stuffed the empty cellophane bag in the glove compartment, dried my tears and set off home, making a mental note to tell Nick next time that his mohito-flavoured chocolates were destined to be a major seller!
*
If you dont mind my saying so, youre looking thinner lately, Nick said a couple of weeks later. I hope youre not ill?
No, not at all in fact Im glad its noticeable, I said, then found myself pouring out to him the story of Davids Christmas gift, how hard I was finding losing weight and how miserable it was making me feel.
He thought it was what I wanted and I do want him to feel proud of me on our wedding day. I felt my eyes fill with tears. Sorry, I dont know whats got into me lately! Im usually a happy, bubbly person.
Low blood sugar, he said reassuringly.
Oh, do you think so?
Definitely. Here, try this new dark chocolate mint julep cream. He handed me a glass dish of butterfly-shaped chocolates. And you looked the perfect weight to me the very first time I saw you not all men like the walking skeletons, you know!
Thank you, Nick, I said, surprised and pleased, I only wish David felt the same way as you and- I broke off, noticing the empty dish in my hands. Oh dear, I seem to have eaten all of these!