My girlfriend shook her head. You could try being nice, she suggested. I know its in there somewhere. Ive seen it, at least twice.
I lowered my voice, stepping close to her so that the passing crowd couldnt eavesdrop. You know thats not an option for me. I have to be this way.
No, you dont. Kenzies voice was equally low; she reached out and took my hand, squeezing gently. You cant push the whole world away because of Them, Ethan. Thats...thats kind of like letting Them win, you know? I started to protest, but she overrode me. Theyre out there, and They hurt peopleI understand that. But are you really going to close your eyes and hope They dont see you? Or are you going to fight back? Let them know that They cant screw around with you or your friends and get away with it.
Its not that simple.
No? Kenzie cocked her head, her brown eyes staring into mine. It sounds pretty simple to me. They can control your lifewhat you do, how you actor you can.
I blinked. Id never thought of it that way. I thought I was protecting people; if no one got close to me, the fey would leave them alone. But...I guess They were controlling my life in a way. I was so concerned about what They would do to others, Id let myself become someone I hated. Someone I really didnt want to be.
Fine. I put my head back in defeat before looking down at Kenzie again. Ill try to be nicer to your friends. No promises, though. Especially if Kingston decides to put my head through my locker. Then all bets are off.
She grinned as the first bell rang. Youre such a charmer, tough guy. Wanna walk me to my class?
Sure.
Without snarling at Zoe and Chelsea?
I rolled my eyes. Ill try not to snarl.
Her friends gaped at us when we found them around the corner, still waiting for Kenzie and probably hoping for gossip. They continued to glance at me as we walked down the hall, and even more so when Kenzie casually laced our fingers together, squeezing my hand while still chatting to all of us. I didnt say much, though I did make an effort not to be gruff when one of the girls asked me a question about New York. It was a weird sensation; it had been years since Id been in any kind of group, a long while since Id spoken to a classmate without intending to drive them away. I ignored the stares we were getting from everyone and concentrated on getting Kenzie to class. This whole normal boyfriend thing was going to take some getting used to.
When we got to her classroom, Kenzie turned to me, waving the others through. Stepping close, she murmured, Meet me in the library at lunch. I want to talk to you about something.
I grinned at her, feeling suddenly evil. Everyone in school knew about me and Kenzie, it seemed. No use fighting it now. Talk? I leaned in. Or talk? As in, the very back corner aisle?
Behave, you. She wrinkled her nose at me. Lets not try to start more gossip. See you at lunch.
I let her go and sneaked a glance at the wall clock before continuing to my class. Four hours till lunch suddenly seemed like a lifetime.
* * *
Wonder of wonders, Kingston actually left me alone, though he continued to shoot me Death Glares all through class and in the halls, hinting at future confrontations. I didnt care, really. Kenzie wasnt bothered by what others thought of her dating me, so I wasnt going to dwell on it, either.
Besides, I had plenty of other problems to dwell on. How to find Keirran. How to keep Annwyl from Fading. How to keep Mackenzie safe, again, while venturing into a goblin market full of taboo items and shady faeries.
And maybe the most pressing, how to convince my parents to let me go tromping off to New Orleans this weekend. I refused to just vanish on them again; not only would Mom have a nervous breakdown, I shuddered to think of the trouble I would be in when I came back. Not only with my parents this time, but with Kenzies.
And that was yet another problem. I hoped Kenzie had a good story to feed her dad; from our short meeting at the hospital, he didnt seem like he was going to just forget about her again.
All that flew out of my head, though, when I walked into the library and found Kenzie alone in one of the aisles. Her head was bent, an open book in her hands, and I was reminded of our very first meeting, where a certain stubborn journalist had refused to leave me alone despite my attempts to drive her away.
Sliding up behind her, I put my hands on her waist and whispered Whatcha reading? in her ear. She jumped.
Ethan! Geez, stop doing that! She glared back at me. I swear, Im gonna tie a bell around your neck. I chuckled, resting my chin on her shoulder, and wrapped my arms around her as she held up the book. Guide to New Orleans, the title read. I raised an eyebrow.
You seem awfully confident that were going, I said, resisting the urge to kiss her neck as her fingers slipped into my hair. I havent even talked to my parents yet.
I have. My dad, anyway. Thats...what I wanted to talk to you about.
She sounded hesitant, and her body tensed against mine. My nerves prickled, but I kept my voice calm. What did he say? Did he forbid you to go?
Worse. She lowered her arm and slid gently from my grasp, turning to face me in the narrow aisle. Her face crinkled with disgust as she said, Hes coming with me.
Youre kidding.
The disgusted look stayed firmly in place as she continued, I told him I wanted to visit several places before I graduate, she said. That New York was just the first, and I had a long bucket list of cities and places I wanted to see before I...well, you know.
A lump of ice settled in my stomach, and I nodded. Go on, I rasped.
She sighed. I thought that he would do what he always doeswarn me not to get arrested and to call if theres an emergency. Surprise, surprise. She threw up her hands in annoyance. He was completely into it and thought that it would be a great idea to see New Orleans together, as a family. A fun weekend trip. So now my stepmom and Alex are coming, too.
Your whole family? I repeated in disbelief. Kenzie winced.
Obnoxiously, yes. My disappearing act mustve really shocked them. And now Dad wont leave me alone. He thinks this will be a great way to connect again. She shook her head, her expression going dark. I know what hes trying to do, and its too late. He doesnt get to be a dad after hes forgotten I exist for so long.
Thats going to make things difficult, I muttered. Does your dad even know Im coming?
Noooooo, Kenzie said quickly. He does not, and its probably better that way. Id told him I wanted to go to New Orleans with a group of friends, but I think he may have suspected who my friends were. Probably another reason he wants to come alongto make sure we dont run off together and join a gang or something. She shrugged. Dont worry. Ill meet up with you when we get there. We just cant let him see us.
And if we have to sneak out in the middle of the night to look for faeries in goblin markets?
Then well have to do it quietly.
I groaned, dragging both hands over my face. Your dad is going to throw me in prison and lose the key.
Kenzies arms slid around my neck as she leaned in, smiling up at me. Well, if that happens, Ill just bust you out with my mad ninja skills and we can vanish into the Nevernever.
I was torn between telling her how unlikely that would be and kissing her, but at that moment the librarian strolled by with a cartful of books and we broke apart. So, have you thought of what youre going to say to your parents? Kenzie asked, serious again. I shook my head.
Not a clue. Im still thinking about it.
Want me to come over after school to brainstorm?
I would love nothing more than to have Kenzie in my room again, but... I cant tonight, I told her. I have kali.
Kali was the Filipino martial art Id been taking for over five years. It taught you how to defend yourself with swords, sticks and knives, as well as empty hands, which was the main reason I was drawn to it; I wanted to learn to use weapons when protecting myself from the fey. My Guromy instructorbelieved in the spirit world and hadnt questioned my sanity when Id told him invisible things were after me. Hed even helped us when we were looking for Todd, when I had nowhere else to go. The double, razor-edged swords hed gifted me when I went to see him sat in an honorary spot in my room, and I knew Kenzie still wore his protection amulet beneath her shirt.
I hadnt see Guro since I got back home, and I wanted to talk to him, to thank him for his help and to fill him in on everything that had happened. I owed him that.
I thought Kenzie might protest, insist that we come up with a plan together, but she only nodded. Say hi to Guro for me was all she said.
* * *
I was nervous when I walked onto the mats, wondering what Guro would say when he saw me. The room was full of people; the kempo and jujitsu classes that shared the dojo with us were just wrapping up, students in white gis and colored belts shuffling off the floor, laughing and talking with each other. Our class was smaller, just a handful of people in normal workout clothes, a rattan stick in each hand. They had already staked out the far corner of the mats, and I hurried over to join.
Guro spotted me the second I walked into the room. He looked the same as he always did, a small, sinewy man with close-cropped black hair and dark, piercing eyes. He didnt say anything as I approached, just nodded for me to take my place in line. A few of the other students stared at me; either theyd heard the rumors or theyd seen my face on the news, as one of the teens involved in a suspected kidnapping. But Guro started the class as per normal, and soon I was too busy blocking bamboo sticks to the head and dodging rubber knives to think of anything else.
After class, however, he gestured for me to follow, and I trailed him down the hall into the office. Suddenly nervous and tongue-tied, I waited as he closed the door and motioned toward a couple chairs in the corner.
We both sat. I stared at my hands, feeling Guros eyes appraising me. He didnt speak right away, and I wondered what he was thinking, what he thought of me now.
How are your parents? Guro asked at last.
Fine, I replied, knowing exactly what he meant. A little freaked-out, but okay otherwise. They took it a lot better than I thought they would.
Good. Guro nodded, still watching me intently. I waited, knowing this wasnt over yet. Leaning forward, Guro folded his hands and fixed me with a piercing stare. Now, he continued, in a voice that made my heart start to pound, you dont have to tell me everything, Ethan, but tell me as much as you can. What happened after you and your friends left my home that morning? Did you find what you were looking for?
I took a deep breath.
And ended up telling him everything.
I didnt intend to, but as I spoke, words just kept pouring out, and at one point I was horrified to feel my eyes stinging. I told him about Meghan, the Nevernever and how Id been taken by the fey when I was four. I told him about Kenzie, Todd, Annwyl and the Forgotten; who they were, what had happened to them. I confessed my hatred of the fey, my anger at Meghan for abandoning us, my moms worry and fear that I might vanish into the Nevernever, too. And I told him about Keirran, his relation to me and what I was planning to do that weekend.
When the words finally stopped, I felt exhausted, drained. But also strangely liberated, as if some huge weight had been taken from me. Id never told anyone my whole story before, not even Kenzie. It was a relief to finally get it out. To tell someone who understood, who believed.
Through the whole thing, Guro hadnt said much, just quiet encouragements for me to go on when I faltered. He still wore his same calm, serious expression, as if he hadnt just spent an hour listening to a teenager ramble about invisible creatures that only he could see, that hed been to a magical place called the Nevernever, that he was related to a faery queen.
I know it sounds crazy, I finished, now wondering what had possessed me to spill my guts. I know I sound like a raving lunatic, but I swear everything Ive told you is real. I wish there was a way I could make people see Them without gaining the Sight, but once They know you can see, Theyll just torment you forever. So, I guess its better that way.
I can see Them, Guro said very softly.
I jerked up, staring at him, my jaw hanging a little slack. He gave me a tight smile. Not like you, he went on in a calm voice. Ive never seen Them clearly. Its more a brief glimpse of something in the mirror, a reflection or a shadow on the ground that doesnt match anything visible. But I know Theyre there. My grandfather had this talent, also, he continued as I still gaped at him. But he was very in tune with the spirit world and things that no one else could see. Our family has always been sensitive to magic and the creatures no one else believes in. So I understand how difficult it is.
I swallowed hard to clear my throat. I wish everyone did.
Guro didnt say anything to that. Have you told your parents? he asked instead. About what you plan to do this weekend?
No. I shook my head. I havent come up with a good enough excuse, and anything I say is going to freak them out, especially Mom. But I have to go. I crossed my arms, frowning. I just dont know what Im going to tell them.
Sometimes, the simplest answers are the hardest to see.
I gave him a puzzled look, before I got it. You want me to tell them the truth, I said. Just the thought made my stomach tighten.
Thats your call, Ethan. Guro rose, and I stood, too, ready to follow him out. But let me ask you this. Do you think this is the last time youll have to deal with Them?
I slumped. No, I muttered. Ill never shake Them. Theyll never leave me alone. There will always be something Im dragged into, especially now.
Guro nodded slowly. Be careful in New Orleans, he said, opening the office door. Do you still have the protection amulet I gave you?
Technically, Id given it to Kenzie, but... Yes.
Keep it close, Guro warned. Other than your kali skills, thats the best protection I can give you. If you or your friends need anything, magical or otherwise, please come to me. I cannot go with you into the hidden world, but I can make it so it is not quite so dangerous. Remember that, if you are ever in need of help.
I will, Guro. Thanks.
He nodded solemnly, and I left the gym feeling a little lighter but still dreading what I had to do that night.
When I got home, things were normal. Annwyl was nowhere to be seen. Mom was putting the dinner plates in the dishwasher, and Dad was getting ready for work. I paused in the kitchen, watching Mom over the counter, and took a deep breath, preparing myself for the hardest conversation I would ever have.