It was a tale that bore almost no relationship to the reality Betsy had lived through. She remembered Mickys first encounter with Jacko, but not because it had been the earth-shaking collision of two stars recognizing their counterparts. Betsys memories were very different and far less romantic.
It was the first time Micky had been the lead outside broadcast reporter on the main evening news bulletin. Shed been bringing millions of eager viewers the first exclusive interview with Jacko Vance, hero of the hottest human story on the networks. Betsy had watched the broadcast at home alone, thrilled to see her lover the cynosure of ten million pairs of eyes, hugging herself in delight.
The exhilaration hadnt lasted long. Theyd been celebrating together in the flickering glow of the video replay when the phone had interrupted their pleasure. Betsy had answered, her voice exuberant with happiness. The journalist who greeted her as Mickys girlfriend drained all the joy from her. In spite of Betsys frostily vehement denials and Mickys scornful ridicule, both women knew their relationship was poised on the edge of the worst kind of tabloid exposure.
The patient campaign Micky had gone on to wage against the sneak tactics of the hacks was as carefully planned and as ruthlessly executed as any career move shed ever made. Every night, two separate pairs of bedroom curtains would be closed and lights turned on behind them. The lamps would go off at staggered intervals, the one in the spare room controlled by a timer that Betsy adjusted to a different hour each night. Every morning, the curtains would be drawn back at diverse times, each pair by the same hands that had closed them. The only places the two women embraced were behind closed curtains out of the line of sight of the window, or in the hallway, which was invisible from outside. If both left the house at the same time, they parted at the bottom of the steps with a cheerful wave and no bodily contact.
Giving the presumed watchers nothing to chew on would have been enough to make most people feel secure. But Micky preferred a more proactive approach. If the tabloids wanted a story, shed make sure they had one. It would simply have to be a more exciting, more credible and more sexy story than the one they thought they had. She cared far too much for Betsy to take chances with her lovers peace of mind or their relationship.
The morning after the ominous phone call, Micky had a spare hour. She drove to the hospital where Jacko was a patient and charmed her way past the nurses. Jacko seemed pleased to see her, and not only because she came armed with the gift of a miniature AM/FM radio complete with earphones. Although he was still taking strong medication for his pain, he was alert and receptive to any distraction from the tedium of life in his side ward. She spent half an hour chatting lightly about everything except the accident and the amputation, then left, leaning over to give him a friendly peck on the forehead. It had been no hardship; to her surprise, shed found herself warming to Jacko. He wasnt the arrogant macho man shed expected, based on her past experience with male sporting heroes. Nor, even more surprisingly, was he wallowing in self-pity. Mickys visits might have started out as cynical self-interest, but within a very short space of time she was sucked in, first by her respect for his stoicism, then by an unexpected pleasure in his company. He might be more interested in himself than in her, but at least he managed to be entertaining and witty with it.
Five days and four visits later, Jacko asked the question shed been waiting for. Why do you keep visiting me?
Micky shrugged. I like you?
Jackos eyebrows rose and fell, as if to say, Thats not enough.
She sighed and made a conscious effort to hold his speculative gaze. I have always been cursed with an imagination. And I understand the drive to be successful. Ive worked my socks off to get where I am. Ive made sacrifices and Ive sometimes had to treat people in a way that, in other circumstances, Id be ashamed of. But getting to where I want to be is the most important thing in my life. I can imagine how I would feel if a chain of circumstances outside my control cost me my goal. I guess what I feel for you is empathy.
Meaning what? he asked, his face giving nothing away.
Sympathy without pity?
He nodded, as if satisfied. The nurse reckoned it was because you fancied me. I knew she was wrong.
Micky shrugged. It was all going so much better than shed anticipated. Dont disillusion her. People distrust motives they cant understand.
Youre so right, he said, an edge of bitterness in his voice that she hadnt heard there before, in spite of the ample reason. But understanding doesnt always make it possible to accept something.
There was more, much more behind his words. But Micky knew when to leave well alone. There would be plenty of opportunity to broach that subject again. When she left that day, she was careful to make sure the nurse saw her kiss him goodbye. If this story was to be credible, it needed to leak out, not be broadcast. And from her own journalistic experience, gossip spread through a hospital faster than legionnaires disease. From there to the wider community only took one carrier.
When she arrived a week later, Jacko seemed remote. Micky sensed violent emotions barely held in check, but couldnt be sure what those feelings were. Eventually, tired of conducting a monologue rather than a conversation, she said, Are you going to tell me or are you just going to let your blood pressure rise till you have a stroke?
For the first time that afternoon, he looked directly into her face. Momentarily, she thought he was in the grip of fever, then she realized it was a fury so powerful that she couldnt imagine how he could contain it. He was so angry he could barely speak, she realized as she watched him struggle to find the words. At last, he conquered his rage by sheer effort of will and said, My fucking so-called fiancée, he growled.
Jillie? Micky hoped shed got the name right. Theyd met briefly one afternoon as Micky had been leaving. She had the impression of a slender dark-haired beauty who managed sultry rather than tarty by an inch.
Bitch, he hissed, the tendons on his neck tensing like cords beneath the tanned skin.
Whats happened, Jacko?
He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, his wide chest expanding and emphasizing the asymmetry of his once perfect upper body. Dumped me, he managed at last, his voice thick with anger.
No, Micky breathed. Oh, Jacko. She reached out and touched the tight fist with her fingers. She could actually feel the pulse beating in his flesh, so tightly was his hand clenched. His rage was phenomenal, Micky thought, yet his control seemed in no real danger of slipping.
Says she cant cope with it. He gave a grating bark of cynical laughter. She cant cope with it? How the fuck does she think it is for me?
Im sorry, Micky said inadequately.
I saw it in her face, the first time she visited after the accident. No, I knew before that. I knew because she didnt come near me that first day. It took her two days to get her arse in here. His voice was harsh and guttural, the heavy words falling like blocks of stone. When she did come, she couldnt stand the sight of me. It was all over her face. I repelled her. All she could see was what I wasnt any more. He pulled his fist away and pounded it on the bed.
Im sorry, Micky said inadequately.
I saw it in her face, the first time she visited after the accident. No, I knew before that. I knew because she didnt come near me that first day. It took her two days to get her arse in here. His voice was harsh and guttural, the heavy words falling like blocks of stone. When she did come, she couldnt stand the sight of me. It was all over her face. I repelled her. All she could see was what I wasnt any more. He pulled his fist away and pounded it on the bed.
More fool her.
His eyes opened and he glared at her. Dont you start. All I need is one more silly bitch patronizing me. Ive had that fucking nurse with her artificial cheerfulness all over me. Just dont!
Micky didnt flinch. Shed won too many confrontations with news editors for that. You should learn to recognize respect when you see it, she flared back at him. Im sorry Jillie hasnt got what it takes to see you through, but youre better off finding that out now than further down the road.
Jacko looked astonished. For years now, the only person whod spoken to him with anything except nervous deference was his trainer. What? he squawked, his anger displaced by baffled astonishment.
Micky continued regardless of his response. What you have to decide now is how youre going to play it.
What?
Its not going to stay a secret between the two of you, is it? From what you said, the nurse already knows. So by teatime, its going to be, Hold the front page. If you want, you can settle for being an object of pity hero dumped by girlfriend because hes not a proper man any more. Youll get the sympathy vote, and a fair chunk of the Great British Public will spit on Jillie in the street. Alternatively, you can get your retaliation in first and come out on top.
Jackos mouth was open, but for a moment no words came. At last, he said in a low voice that fellow members of the Olympic squad would have recognized as a signal for flak jackets, Go on.
Its up to you. It depends whether you want people to see you as a victim or a victor.
Mickys level stare felt as much of a challenge as anything that had ever faced him on the field of competition. What do you think? he snarled.
Im telling you, man, this is the sticks, Leon said, waving a chicken pakora in a sweeping gesture that seemed to include not only the restaurant but most of the West Riding of Yorkshire as well.
Youve obviously never been to Greenock on a Saturday night, Simon said drily. Believe me, Leon, that makes Leeds look positively cosmopolitan.
Nothing could make this place cosmopolitan, Leon protested.
Its not that bad, Kay said. Its very good for shopping. Even outside the classroom, Shaz noticed, Kay slipped straight into the conciliatory role, smoothing down her hair as she smoothed down the rough edges in the conversations.
Simon groaned theatrically. Oh please, Kay, dont feel you need to glide effortlessly into bland womanly stuff. Go on, make my night, tell me how terrific Leeds is for body-piercing.
Kay poked her tongue out at him.
If you dont leave Kay alone, us women might well consider piercing some treasured part of your anatomy with this beer bottle, Shaz said sweetly, brandishing her Kingfisher.
Simon put his hands up. OK. Ill behave, just as long as you promise not to beat me with a chapati.
There was a moments silence while the four police officers attacked their starters. The Saturday night curry looked like becoming a regular feature for the quartet, the other two preferring to return to their former home turf rather than explore their new base. When Simon had first suggested it, Shaz hadnt been sure if she wanted to bond that closely with her colleagues. But Simon had been persuasive, and besides, Commander Bishop had been earwigging and she wanted to avoid a black mark for being unco-operative. So shed agreed and, to her surprise, shed enjoyed herself, even though she had made her excuses and left before the nightclub excursion that had followed. Now, three weeks into the Job, she found she was actually looking forward to their night out, and not just for the food.
Leon was first to clear his plate, as usual. What Im saying is, its primitive up here.
I dont know, Shaz protested. Theyve got plenty of good curry houses, the propertys cheap enough for me to afford something bigger than a rabbit hutch, and if you want to go from one part of the city centre to another, you can walk instead of sitting on the tube for an hour.
And the countryside. Dont forget how easy it is to get out into the countryside, Kay added.
Leon leaned back in his seat, groaning and rolling his eyes extravagantly like a terrible caricature of a Black and White Minstrel. Heathcliff, he warbled in falsetto.
Shes right, Simon said. God, youre such a cliché, Leon. You should get off the city streets, get some fresh air into your lungs. What about coming out tomorrow for a walk? I really fancy seeing if Ilkley Moor lives up to the song.
Shaz laughed. What? You want to walk about without a hat and see if you catch your death of cold?
The others joined in her laughter. See, man, its primitive, like I said. Nothing to do but walk about on your own two feet. And shit, Simon, Im not the one thats a cliché. You know Ive been stopped driving home three times since I moved here? Even the Met got a bit more racially enlightened than thinking every black man with a decent set of wheels has to be a drug dealer, Leon said bitterly.
Theyre not stopping you because youre black, Shaz retorted as he paused to light a cigarette.
No? Leon exhaled.
No, theyre stopping you for being in possession of an offensive weapon.
What do you mean?
That suit, babe. Any sharper and youd cut yourself getting dressed. Youre wearing a blade, of course theyre going to stop you. Shaz held out her hand for Leon to give her five and, amid the hoots of laughter from the other two, he made a rueful face and hit her hand.
Not as sharp as you, Shaz, Simon said. She wondered if it was only the heat of the spices that was responsible for the scarlet flush across his normally pale cheekbones.
Speaking of sharp, Kay chipped in as their main courses arrived, you cant get anything past Tony Hill, can you?
Hes smart, all right, Simon agreed, sweeping his wavy dark hair back from his sweating forehead. I just wish hed loosen up a bit. Its like theres a wall there that you get right up to but you cant see over.
Ill tell you why that is, Shaz said, suddenly serious. Bradfield. The Queer Killer.
Thats the one he did that went well and truly pear-shaped, yeah? Leon asked.
Thats right.
It was all hushed up, wasnt it? Kay said, her intent face reminding Shaz of a small furry animal, cute but with hidden teeth. The papers hinted at all sorts of stuff, but they never went into much detail.
Believe me, Shaz said, looking at her half-chicken and wishing shed gone for something vegetarian, you wouldnt want to know the details. If you want to know the whole story, check out the Internet. They werent constrained by technicalities like good taste or requests from the authorities to keep things under wraps. Im telling you, if you can read what Tony Hill went through without having second thoughts about what were doing, youre a fuck of a sight braver than I am.