Ive been reading it upstairs, Alexandra said. She touched her brush to the paper, leaving three tiny golden dots. I didnt know you needed it.
Erasmus, admitting his foolishness, said, Its not as if I have room for one more thing.
Ill get it. As Alexandra put down her brush and moved away, Lavinia called for tea and leaned over the table on which Erasmus and Zeke had spread their papers: rather too close to Zekes shoulder, Erasmus thought. As if she were pulled by the fragrance of Zekes skin; as if she did not have the sense to resist the almost farcical beauty that made women stare at Zeke on the street and men hum with envy. It pained him to watch her betrayed by her bodys yearnings. To him she was lovely, with her wide hazel eyes and rounded chin, now charmingly smudged with blue. Yet he suspected that to the gaze of othersperhaps even Zekeshe was merely pleasant-looking. She seemed to know that herself, as she knew that among her monthly meetings of earnest young women, gathered to discuss Goethe and Swedenborg and Fourier, she was valued more for her sensibility than for her brilliance. One by one those women had married and disappeared from the meetings, leaving behind only Alexandra and her. Once, when hed been voicing his concerns about Zeke, shed said, I know I love him more than he loves me. It doesnt bother me. Then had flushed so darkly hed wanted to pick her up and pace her around the floor, as hed done when she was an infant and needed comforting.
As Lavinia traced their planned route with her index finger, past Devon and Cornwallis and Beechey Island, where Franklins winter camp had been found, then south along Boothia Peninsula and King William Land, Erasmus thought how maps showed only two things, land and water. To someone who hadnt traveled, their journey over that arctic map might seem a simple thing. Turn left, turn right, go north or south, steer by this headland or that bay. He and Zeke, whod pored over their predecessors accounts, knew otherwise. Ice, both fluid and solid, appeared and disappeared with consistent inconsistency; one year an inlet might be open, the next walled shut. Lavinia, unaware of this, traced the route backward and said with satisfaction, Its not so very far. Youll be home before October.
I hope, Zeke said. But you mustnt worry if were notmany expeditions have to winter over. Weve provisioned for a full eighteen months, in case were frozen in.
While Lavinia gazed at the deceitful map, Alexandra returned with Erasmuss book and then asked the question Lavinia might have been framing in her mind. I havent understood this all spring, she said. If you take this route, which you say concentrates most efficiently on the areas in which you have some evidence of Franklins presence, how can you also search for signs of an open polar sea? De Haven and Penny reported Jones Sound clogged with ice when they were there. She smoothed her paintstained garment. Ross found most of Barrow Strait frozen, and Peel Sound as well. Even if you manage to approach the region of Raes discoveries, which lies south of all those areas, surely you cant also simultaneously head north?
Erasmus lifted his head in surprise. The same question had worried him for months, but hed pushed it aside; Zeke hadnt mentioned his desire to find an open polar sea since the evening that had launched them all on this path. Lavinias twenty-sixth birthday party, back in November; Alexandra had been present that night as well, although Erasmus had hardly noticed her. Hed been full of hope that Lavinia was about to get what she most desired.
Hed spared no expense, dressing the Repositorys windows with greenery and lining the sills with candles, scrubbing the dissecting table and shrouding it with crisp linen, on which hed spread biscuits, a roasted ham, a turkey and a salmon in aspic. Lavinia had rejected her first three suitorstoo dull, shed said. Too weak, not smart enough. While her friends married and produced their first children shed held out for Zeke and somehow won him. Erasmus had been terrified for her during her long campaign, then relieved, then worried again: his own fault. Zeke had asked for her hand but been vague about the details, and Erasmus had failed to press him. His father would have known better, he thought. His father wouldnt have permitted Lavinia to bind herself for an uncertain length of time. The damage was done, but secretly Erasmus had hoped Zeke might choose the party to announce a wedding date.
In the kind light of the candles Lavinia might have been a candle herself, radiant in white silk trimmed with blue ribbons. She stood perfectly still when Zeke, just as Erasmus had hoped, silenced the room and said, I have an announcement!
Erasmus had sighed with relief, not noticing that Lavinia looked confused. Zeke rested his elbow on a case that held a bird-of-paradise. Youve all heard the news announced by John Rae earlier this month, he said. He stood with his chin up, his chest out, one hand dancing in the air. No doubt you share both my sorrow at what appears to have been the fate of Franklins expedition, and my relief that some newshowever fragmentary, and possibly incorrecthas been obtained.
He went on about the tragic disappearance of Franklin and his men, the many rescue attempts, the details of what Rae had discoveredold news to Erasmus, whod followed every newspaper article. His guests listened, glasses in hands, among them women who would have listened with equal interest had Zeke been reciting the agricultural products of China; anything, Erasmus imagined them thinking, for this chance to gaze at Zeke blamelessly. Yet his own sister was the woman Zeke had chosen. Perhaps you also feel, as I do, Zeke added, that now that the area has been defined, someone has to search further for any possible survivors.
A guest stepped sideways then, so that Erasmus caught sight of Lavinias face. She looked as puzzled as he felt.
To that end, Zeke continued, Ive been able to obtain the backing of a number of our leading merchants for another expedition. Our valiant Dr. Kane has been searching for Franklin in the wrong area, and although were all worried about himand although Id be the first to go in search of him if a relief expedition wasnt already being organizedsomething more is needed. I propose to set forth this spring, to search more thoroughly for Franklin in the areas below Lancaster Sound. While Im there, I also propose to study the region, and to further investigate the possibility of an open polar sea.
Everyone had cheered. Erasmus had stretched his lips in something like a smile, hoping no one would notice his surprise. What merchants, when, howdid everyone know about this but him? Lavinia, even, who might have hidden her knowledgebut she wore a smile as forced as his own. Zeke must have made these arrangements in secret, taking pleasure in presenting his plan only when it was complete.
After the flurry of congratulations, after the first buzz of questions about where Zeke might go, and how he might get there, and what sort of ship and crew he envisioned, Zeke took Lavinias hands. She beamed as if his announcement were the ideal birthday present, and when a guest sat down at the piano and began to play, she and Zeke led the crowd to the floor.
Erasmus went outside to have a cigar and calm the storm in his chest. He was watching the smoke rise through the still night air when Zeke appeared with two glasses and a bottle. He had to ask questions, Erasmus thought. Fatherly questions, although that role still felt odd: what this meant in terms of the engagement, whether Zeke wanted to marry Lavinia before he leftor release her, perhaps, until he returned.
Erasmus went outside to have a cigar and calm the storm in his chest. He was watching the smoke rise through the still night air when Zeke appeared with two glasses and a bottle. He had to ask questions, Erasmus thought. Fatherly questions, although that role still felt odd: what this meant in terms of the engagement, whether Zeke wanted to marry Lavinia before he leftor release her, perhaps, until he returned.
Leaning against one of the fluted porch columns, Zeke filled the glasses and lit a cigar for himself. Erasmus opened his mouth to speak, and Zeke said, Erasmusyou must come with me. When are you going to get another chance like this?
Erasmus choked, coughing so hard he bent double. All the expeditions hed already missedwas this what hed been waiting for? Even Elisha Kent Kane had spurned him, sailing off with a crew of Philadelphians younger but no smarter than himself. Perhaps Zeke sensed his discouragement, and the extent of his wounded vanity.
Youre ideal for this, he said. Where could I find anyone else as knowledgeable about the natural history of the polar regions? Or as familiar with the hardships of such a journey?
The idea of serving under a man so much younger than himself was preposterous, but it seemed to him that Zeke was looking for a partner, not a subordinate. Surely Zeke wouldnt ask for his help if he didnt regard him as an equal, evennaturallya superior? Erasmus said, Youre kind to think of me. But you might have asked me earlierI have responsibilities here, and of course my own work
Zeke bounded from the porch to the grass below. Of course! he said, pacing before the columns. Its a huge impositionI wouldnt think of asking you if your work werent so invaluablebut thats why youre the right person. I didnt want to bother you until I was sure I had backing for the expedition. Think of what well see!
Somewhere in those icy waters, Franklin and his men might still be trapped in the Erebus and the Terror. Even if they couldnt be found, many new species, even new lands, were there to be discovered. Erasmus thought of being free, this time, to investigate everything without the noxious Navy discipline. He thought of northern sights to parallel, even exceed, his brief experience in the Antarctic; of discoveries in natural history that might prove extraordinarily important. Then he thought of his sister, who appeared on the porch with her white dress foaming like a spray of catalpa blossom.
You should go in, she said to Zeke. All the guests are longing to talk with you.
He leapt up the steps and she steered him inside. With a swirl of skirts she turned to Erasmus.
Will you go? she said.
Eavesdropping, he thought. Again. Shed done this since she was a little girl, as if this were the only way she could keep track of her brothers.
Please? You have to go with him.
He had his own reasons, Erasmus thought. For going, or staying. Did he keep this secret from you?
He had to, he said he needed
Doesnt that worry you?
As if you ever tell me anything, she said. And who are you to criticize him? Especially since Father died: all you do is mope around, sorting your seedsdo you think I havent seen you at eleven in the morning still in bed? So Linnaeus and Humboldt can run the business without you. So you havent found anyone to fall in love with since Sarah Louise.
Sarah Louise, he thought. Still the simple sound of her name made him feel like hed swallowed a stone. A dull ache, which never quite left him. As Lavinia knew.
Copernicus isnt married either, she continued, but you dont see Copernicus moping around, you dont see Copernicus wasting his lifeI need you.
A snarl of guilt and tenderness caught at him. As children, he and his brothers used to bolt for the woods and return hours later, to find Lavinia waiting by a window with an unread book in her lap. Hed been the one she looked up to, the one who tied her shoes and taught her to read. Sometimes, when the other boys werent around and hed remembered not just that her birth had cost him his mother, but that shed never had a mother, theyd drawn very close. Then his brothers would tumble in and hed abandon her again. Back and forth, oldest and youngest. He had failed her often enough.
She drew him inside, to a corner behind a case of stuffed finches. This is who I love, she said fiercely. Do you understand? Do you remember what that feels like? What if something happens to him? You have to take care of him for me.
Lavinia, he said. Her hands, squeezing his left arm, were very hot. Once, after Zeke had been describing the shipwreck that made him a local hero, Erasmus had found her weeping in the garden. Not with delayed fear over what might have happened to Zeke, not with hysteriabut with longing, shed managed to make him understand. A boundless desire for Zeke. When hed tried to remind her that Zeke had flaws as well as virtues, shed said, I know, I know. But it doesnt matter. What matters is the way I feel when he touches my hand, or when we dance and I smell the skin on his neck. The strength of her feelings had embarrassed him.
You know this means waiting even longer, he said. Has he mentioned a date? His fault, he thought again. Why hadnt he asked Zeke himself?
Not exactly. But when he gets home, I know hell want to settle down.
Of course he wanted her to marry Zeke, not just to ease his own responsibilities but because he wanted her happy. Didnt he? Shed cared first for their father and then him. Youre sure he said. You feel sure of his feelings for you?
He loves me, she said passionately. In his own wayI know he does.
A blinding headache had seized him then, blurring the rest of the party. And through a process he still didnt understand, hed been led to this table and Alexandras pointed questions; to the fact that, in two days, hed be sailing north in the company of a young man hed known for ages yet couldnt imagine accepting orders from.
One of the maids came in with the tea tray: Agnes? Ellen? The servants were Lavinias province; as long as meals appeared on time Erasmus didnt notice who did the work. He thought they didnt know this, although Lavinia sometimes reproached him. And although once hed overheard the staff in the kitchen referring to the seedy-man and then laughing furiously. Now he avoided the eyes of the girl with the tray and drew a breath, waiting to hear what Zeke would say about the open polar sea.
You read a lot, Zeke said to Alexandra. If he was startled that shed remembered his comment at the party, it didnt show. Ive noticed that. So you must have learned about the stretches of open water persisting all winter and recurring in the same places every year. What the Russians call polynyas. Inglefield found open water in Smith Sound. Birds have been seen migrating northward from Canada. A warm current flows northward beneath the surface, several people have observed itsuppose it leads to a temperate ocean, free from ice, surrounding the North Pole beyond a frozen barrier?
Suppose, Alexandra said. Her right hand sketched an arc in the air, as if she were still holding her paintbrush.