How are you feeling? Mary Grace has been very worried. She paused. Sometimes grief is a terrible thing to bear. Especially the grief of a mother.
Geneva closed her eyes. She felt so numb, as if every ounce of emotion inside her had evaporated. This was the way it went, the lows and then the highs, the plummeting descent and the slow, gradual rise back to happiness. A mother should never have to watch her child die.
Do you not believe shes in a better place? Rose asked.
How can I think any place is better than her home, with her mother and her father? Geneva sighed. Is your faith that strong?
Rose shook her head. Not all the time. In the middle of my own grief, when I needed it most, it seemed to vanish. But then, I realized that I was not grieving for my husband or for the life he might have had. I was grieving for myself, for everything Id lost.
And I suppose youll tell me that it was Gods will that my Charlotte died? That he was the one who struck her down with scarlet fever? I cannot believe in a god who would take such a precious child from this world. From me.
I lost two babies before I gave birth to Mary Grace, Rose said. The first was stillborn, a son, a beautiful child with the face of an angel. I would like to think theyre all in heaven with Jamie, though my priest tells me they are not.
You dont believe dead babies go to heaven?
They werent baptized. Babies who arent baptized remain in limbo, in neither heaven nor hell. Since they cannot be baptized, they cannot be cleansed of their original sin.
So their souls just float there forever.
Rose nodded. It is a difficult thought to bear and one I struggle with. But I try to think of limbo as a place thats pure and simple and innocent, where the babies know nothing of God or heaven, so they cant know what theyre missing.
Believe what you need to believe, Geneva said, flopping back into the pillows and throwing her arm over her eyes.
At least you know shes in heaven, Rose said. There must be some comfort in that.
Im tired, Geneva muttered. Leave me now.
Rose walked to the door, but she didnt leave. You cant have her, she murmured. Shes all I have. Ive lost everything.
Geneva pushed up on her elbows. What are you babbling about?
Mary Grace. Shes my daughter, not yours. Nothing you do for her, nothing you give her, will ever change that.
Get out! Geneva screamed. Get out! You have no right to speak to me that way. She sat up and a blinding pain shot through her head, turning everything around her black. Geneva swallowed back a wave of nausea. Pack your bags, she muttered. Ill give you a months severance. But I want you out by the end of the day.
Rose stared at her for a long moment and Geneva waited for her to plead for her job, knowing the satisfaction shed take in putting Rose Byrne in her place. Since the day shed brought Rose and Grace to Porter Hall, the woman had always been just a bit too proud and haughty for a servant.
But to Genevas surprise, Rose didnt rise to the bait. She simply tipped her chin up and nodded. I think that would be for the best, Lady Porter.
She turned and walked out. A few moments later, Edward came in, carrying a tea tray. He glanced back over his shoulder, then studied Geneva for a long moment. What is it?
Nothing, Geneva said, straightening the bedclothes over her lap. II just sacked Rose.
Edward gasped. What?
You heard me. She was getting entirely too comfortable here. She had the audacity to imply that I wasnt grieving Charlottes death in a proper way. That I ought to be happy that shes in heaven and not here with me.
What have you done? Edward accused. You cant send them away.
I have every right to do just that. Im in charge of the household staff. I hired her and I can sack her.
Youre just tired, he said. I know Rose speaks her mind, but shes a proud woman. And there are times when you do treat Grace more like shes yours than Roses. Mother, please. Let me go to her, let me try to convince her to stay.
I will not be spoken to in that way, Geneva said, her anger growing.
Then you will put Grace out on the street, Edward said. And they will wander about until they both get sick and die. Youll allow Roses daughter to die, simply to make you feel better about Charlotte. Where is your Christian charity, Mother? Does it disappear simply because you have a headache or youve taken too much of your tonic?
Geneva opened her mouth to speak, but then snapped it shut. Emotion welled up inside of her as the reality of what shed done sunk in. Shed managed to keep herself on an even keel since Grace had arrived. The dark moods were far less frequent and she felt as though she was beginning to climb out of the depths of her grief.
Was that because time had passed or was it because shed had Grace to raise? For thats what she was doing, behind Roses back. Shed given Grace everything that had been meant for Charlotte, all the womanly wisdom that she possessed. And had Rose Byrne been any other mother, she might have had a right to be jealous.
But Geneva had saved their lives. Shed picked them up off the street and given them a place to live, fed them and clothed them and even educated Grace at no small cost. Rose at least owed her a little understanding and gratitude. Unbidden tears began to roll down her cheeks and Geneva found it difficult to breathe.
Bring her here, she said in a strangled voice. Tell her I must speak with her again.
She closed her eyes and laid back, drawing in slow, deep breaths to try to quell the pain that was now pounding in her brain. There had been a time, in the not too distant past, when her life had been so right, when shed had everything shed ever wanted. Now, it was filled with confusion and regret, fear and loss. Would she ever feel happy again?
CHAPTER FIVE
EDWARD DRAGGED THE TRUNK INTO his bed chamber and left it at the foot of his bed. His mother stared at it critically, her hands hitched on her waist. We really ought to buy a new trunk for you. It wouldnt do to have you arrive at Harrow with that tatty old thing.
He shook his head. Mother, it doesnt need to be all shiny and new. This trunk has seen a lot of the world. Id prefer it. It will make me appear well-traveled.
But Malcolm had a new trunk when he went to off to school. You should, too.
Malcolm has always been more concerned with appearances, Edward murmured. When his brother had left for university last fall, hed required an entirely new wardrobe, including six suits, eight pairs of shoes, three hats and a cashmere overcoat. And not one trunk, but two. Edward assumed the fine clothes were to make up for his brothers lack of academic acuity.
He ran his hand over the scarred surface of the trunk, examining the stickers that told the trunks history. When did you go to Istanbul? he asked.
Your father went there when he was just out of university. He did the grand tour. My parents only allowed me Italy and France. And here is our honeymoon, she said, pointing to another sticker for New York. We went to America on the maiden voyage of the Olympic, Titanics sister ship. Your aunt Fanny and uncle Richard lived there before they moved to California. I was seasick the entire way, but it was a wonderful trip. Your father nearly decided to stay and find his fortunes there. Just think, you could have been born an American.
Geneva crossed the room to the wardrobe and flung open the doors. She studied the contents, kept tidy by the upstairs maid, then shook her head. This will never do. Youll need new clothes. She turned and faced him. Well just have to leave a bit early and do some shopping in London before we deliver you to school.
We could always just go to Dublin and find what I need at Clerys.
At a department store? No matter how much your father complains, our family fortunes have not sunk so low that we are forced to shop at a Dublin department store for your wardrobe. Your father will take you to his tailors on Savile Row, and have suits made for you. We can have them delivered to you at school when theyre finished.
Edward forced a smile. I dont think Father will have time for a trip to London.
His father had been even more preoccupied with business since the spring elections and Edward doubted that hed accompany them. De Valera was now in charge of the government and he advocated a complete break with Britain and a sovereign Irish nation including those counties in the north. He abolished the oath of allegiance to Great Britain and withheld British land annuities. In turn, Britain imposed a twenty-percent duty on all Irish importsincluding wool. The coal business still flourished, however, since Ireland had in turn imposed a tariff on the imports of English coal.
And I certainly dont need a new wardrobe. One or two suits will do. We wear uniforms most of the time.
They hadnt traveled to London for years, not since his mother had been caught up in the world of spiritualists and psychics. Once Grace had come to live with them, Geneva had seemed content to remain at Porter Hall.
She pulled a jacket out of the wardrobe and held it out in front of her. There is an exhibit of French paintings at the National Gallery that Im wild to see. And, of course, we must attend a concert or two. Well do some shopping and She smiled as if struck by a sudden idea. Since your father wont go, well take Grace. Oh, it will be a wonderful trip, the three of us. Edward, go fetch her. Now. Well tell her all about it.
Mother, Im not sure that Rose would agree. You know how she can be. His mother had been much more careful with Roses feelings since she had nearly walked out two years ago and taken Grace with her. But lately, Geneva had become obsessed with Grace again and Edward sensed that another confrontation was just on the horizon. He had hoped it might happen before he left for school. That way, he would have the chance to smooth it over and soothe hurt feelings before either party took drastic measures.
She agreed to let me hire a tutor for Grace, didnt she? This is just another educational experience. Every young lady should see the great capitals of the world. And Dublin does not count, she added, wagging her finger at Edward. Now go. And bring her back. I want to give her the good news myself.
Edward wandered out of the room, convinced that he wouldnt be able to change Genevas mind. When it came to Grace and what she believed the girl needed, Geneva could not be dissuaded.
After the last row, it had taken nearly a year for Grace to feel comfortable again at Porter Hall. Her mother had gone so far as to pack their belongings and convince Farrell to drive them to Dublin. Grace had been hysterical, begging her mother to relent. It had taken Edward an entire day of pleading before Rose had finally accepted Genevas apology and agreed to staywith a substantial raise in pay.
Taking Grace to London was a bold move. Unless Edward smiled. Unless the invitation came from him. Perhaps if he presented his case, then Rose might agree. And since he was going away to school, it would be a chance for the two of them to have one last adventure together.
He found Grace in the yard, hanging bedsheets to dry in the warm breeze. Her dark hair was pulled back and tied with a ribbon and she wore a simple cotton dress. I know my love and well he knows, she sang softly. I love the grass where on he goes. She continued to hum as she reached into the basket and withdrew another sheet.
He snuck up behind her and grabbed her around the waist, causing Grace to scream in surprise. She turned and punched him in the shoulder. Ill die of fright one of these fine days, she said. And you will stand at my grave and weep, Edward Porter.
I will not, Edward teased. Ill be glad when youre gone. Youre a right pain in the arse, Grace Byrne. And I havent a clue why my mother would even consider taking you to London.
She blinked in surprise, her mouth hanging open. Edward reached out and hooked his finger beneath her chin to close it. Well?
London? Your mother wants to take me to London? Her bright expression slowly faded. II dont think my mother will allow me to go, Grace said. And I cant leave her. Theres so much work and she needs my help.
She can do without you for five or six days. And Mother will make sure she has help with the laundry and the mending while youre gone.
I suppose I could ask, Grace said.
Now, theres the tricky part. You must say it was my invitation, not my mothers. Do you understand? That way, Ill help to convince her. I will say it does you no good to study art history and then never visit a museum, or to study piano and never hear a great concert. Its my wish that we have one last adventure before I go off to school. And she will agree.
Then lets go ask her now, Grace said anxiously.
Suddenly, the trip seemed so much more exciting. To explore a city as grand and as wonderful as London with his best friend would be an adventure to remember for a lifetime. Hed shown her all the pictures in the books, told her stories of his previous trips, the museums, the parks, the shops. But it wouldnt be the same as experiencing it together.
When they reached the carriage house, they found Rose sitting near the window, darning stockings. She was hunched over her work, trying to see the tiny stitches through a pair of spectacles shed purchased from a passing tinker. She looked up as Grace crossed the room. Edward waited by the door for an invitation to enter.
Are you all right then? A frown furrowed Roses brow. You look as though the devil has been chasing you.
Its the most wonderful news, Grace said, trying to catch her breath. She glanced back at Edward and motioned him inside.
What is it?
Ive been invited to go to London. With Edward and Lady Porter. Isnt that wonderful, Mama? Im to see London.
Roses expression turned cold and she stared down at her work, her fingers nervously toying with the needle and thread. No, she murmured. I wont have it.
But why?
I just wont. Youll not leave Ireland, not as long as I have breath in my body.
Grace took a step back, as if stunned by the anger in her mothers voice. But why?
Rose stood, tossing her darning to the floor, then crossed the room. She grabbed a linen towel and folded it smartly, then grabbed another. You dont think I know what Geneva Porter is about? She thinks shes very clever, sending her son to convince me. But I see through her ways.
Mama, I dont understand.
Tell her, Edward, Rose said. Tell her why your mother spends so much time and money on a servant girl.
Edward shook his head. I dont know what you mean, he replied, refusing to rise to her challenge. This battle for Graces soul had gone on since the very first day Geneva had held Grace. And it would continue until his mother or Graces departed this world.