Ready to put your clothes on and go upstairs?
You arent seriously asking me to go upstairs without eating some of that cake, are you?
Funny, hed forgotten all about the cake. Lets take it with us. We can eat it in bed.
She grinned, pushed him farther away from her and retrieved her discarded clothes. Last one dressed has to spread whipped cream all over the other one and lick it off.
That was one contest Bryan wouldnt mind losingthough winning sounded pretty good, too.
Lucy had sobered by the time they got upstairs, fully dressed and carrying two plates of cake plus the rest of the dessert, which Bryan had sealed into a Tupperware cake plate.
Her face grew warm as she recalled how wanton shed beenand then how shed clung to Bryan, pleading with him not to leave.
She hadnt meant to do that last part. Shed still been in the throes of the most intense orgasm of her life, and the words had just poured out of her right past her brain.
She knew she still had some issues about Cruz Tabor. The In Tight drummer had ended the relationship without warning, in the cruelest of fashions, and now she had a sort of phobia about being abandoned.
But such pleas would be useless where Bryan was concerned. Their relationship could not be anything but temporary. Hed given her fair warningunlike that bastard Cruz, whod led her to believe he was crazy in love with her and that he would marry her someday.
She would just make things worse if she clung to Bryan. She had to adopt the mindset that every day they had together was a gift, and that when they inevitably parted ways, she would have some incredible memories and, hopefully, no hard feelings.
Hell, she wasnt even sure Bryan wanted to have a relationship, temporary or otherwise. Shed pushed him into sex, and men were pretty helpless to say no when sex was offered.
She chanced a glance at him as the elevator reached his loft. He was staring at her.
What? she said with a nervous giggle.
Youre just so absolutely gorgeous I cant stop looking at you.
Oh, yeah, right. In these really sexy clothes, no makeup, glasses, my hairs a wreck
Stop that. You are beautiful, with or without designer clothes and cosmetics. I dont know who told you you werent, but he was an idiot.
The door opened, and he ushered her ahead of him.
It wasnt a he. It was my mother. She thought I was going straight to hell when I died anyway, for being willful and lazy and disrespectful. But she said that at least she didnt have to worry about me doing bad things with boys, because God hadnt gifted me in a way that would make any boy take notice.
Lucy had always made light of her mothers criticism, but saying the words aloud after all these years still produced a tightness in her chest.
Thats criminal, Bryan said, his jaw pulsating. No wonder you dont miss your parents so much.
Oh, she meant well. She was always so afraid for meafraid for my soul. She just knew I was headed down the path straight to hell. The sad thing was, I proved her right.
You?
I lived up to her worst fears. And that was all Lucy would say on that subject. Can we really eat cake in bed?
Your mother wouldnt approve.
My mother would be on her knees for a week, praying for my salvation, if she knew Id colored my hair. Eating cake in bed with a man would be beyond her comprehension.
Then I guess we wont worry about what Mom would think.
Lucy took a deep breath and realized, for the first time in a long time, that she didnt feel guilty for enjoying herself, for having fun. Maybe she was making progress.
She nodded toward the stairs. The last of Bryans anger left his face. He grinned, left the cake in the kitchen, took one of Lucys plates and her hand and led her upstairs.
Heres the thing about eating cake in bed, though, he said with mock gravity. There are rules.
Such as?
You have to do it naked.
I can do that. She smiled wickedly, set the plates down on the king-size bed and took off her clothes. In less than a minute they were both naked and in bed, feeding each other the decadent dessert without benefit of forks, which theyd forgotten.
This cake is fabulous. You just made this up tonight?
Bryan made a production of licking whipped cream off her fingers. You inspired me. I needed something so decadent it would distract me from you. Im going to put it on the menu, and Im going to call it Lucys Cake.
Dont you mean Lindsays Cake? Everyone would wonder who the heck Lucy was.
Once we catch our embezzlerand find Stungunyou can go back to using your real name.
Right. Lucy didnt add that once that happened, there would be no more need for his girlfriend ruse. No more need for her to remain in New York.
Bryan set the two empty plates on the nightstand and slid more deeply under the covers, pulling her with him. We need to work off a few calories, you know, he said.
Im all sticky. Maybe I should take a shower.
I like you all sticky. To prove his point, he kissed all around her mouth and started doing crazy things with his hands, rubbing her belly and thighs, petting her as if she were a cat.
Lucy wondered if hed noticed that her belly wasnt quite as flat and firm as it ought to be. Also, anyone who looked closely would see her faint stretch marks.
She reached over and turned off the lamp. Maybe someday she would tell Bryan the truth about her past. But not tonight.
Bryan woke before dawn, and it took him a few seconds to reason why there was a warm female body snuggled up to him. When he remembered, he smiled. He and Lucy had gone completely crazy last night. Hed never have guessed that a mild-mannered little bank employee in a shapeless suit would be such a wildcat in bed. She wasnt just responsive, she was imaginative. Hed believed himself to be fairly experienced and uninhibited, but shed shown him a few things that had driven him completely wild.
He should have felt guilty for taking Lucy into his bed. She was a witness, a civilian cooperating to bring down a terrorist sympathizer. Shed done everything hed asked of her, and hed promised his protection.
But he couldnt muster much guilt. He didnt feel as if hed taken advantage of her. Though hed been the one to initiate their first kiss two days before, shed been the aggressor last night. Hed gone out of his way not to seduce her. Shed come to him with her eyes wide open, knowing he was not cut out for a committed relationship.
As for compromising her ability to be a good witness, he didnt see it. As far as anyone would know, she was posing as his girlfriend so he could protect her. No one ever needed to know that the fiction had become reality. He could keep a secretand apparently Lucy could, too. There were definitely parts of her past she hadnt revealed.
She was entitled to her privacy. Whatever her secrets, he didnt imagine they had any bearing on the case. But he wanted her to trust him.
You awake? she whispered.
Mmm-hmm.
She snuggled closer. Why? Its not even light out.
Just thinking. Lucy, you dont have to answer if you dont want, but Im just curious. I dug around in your past pretty thoroughly, and I didnt find any boyfriends in the past couple of years.
No, I didnt date anyone after I moved to Virginia.
Why do you have the implant, then?
Im optimistic?
You werent acting like a woman on the hunt for a lover.
But I found one. By accident. And isnt it a good thing Im protected?
Yes, of course. He wasnt quite sure why he was so bothered by this scenario. He supposed it was because he was trained to notice inconsistencies. And women with no immediate prospects for sex didnt usually worry about birth control.
All right, Ill explain it to you, she said. Its not a pretty episode in my past, and youll probably be repulsed, but I want to be honest. Your background check missed a few relevant facts about me.
Those two missing years?
Yeah. I wasnt just working for In Tight. I was sort of a well, a groupie.
You?
I started out just wanting to do my job. I was content to be a very small part of In Tight. I was starstruck, and being close to a rock band was like heaven, especially after my conservative upbringing. Most of the guys knew my name, and they actually talked to me occasionallyusually when they wanted to get paidand that was fine with me. Then came Cruz Tabor.
Hes in the group, isnt he?
The drummer. He started coming on to mebigtime. I was just this nerdy accountant from Kansas, and he made me feel special. We started well, I guess you wouldnt call it dating. We started sleeping together.
That bastard! Then Bryan tempered his first thought. After all, wasnt he guilty of the same thing? That Tabor guy had fallen victim to Lucys winsome charms, and who could blame him?
He treated me pretty well at first, Lucy continued. We were a couple. I even got my picture in a tabloid once, though I wasnt identified. When the band went on tour, he let me ride with him in first classthey didnt have their own private jet back then.
Bryan wondered how he could have missed all this when hed dug into Lucys past. But it sounded as if her activities with In Tight wouldnt have left a paper trail, and he hadnt gone so far as to interview her family or friends. The check had been more routine than that. Hed mostly been concerned with whether she had a criminal record or mental illness.
He lightly rubbed her arm, urging her to continue.
Things were pretty good, until I got pregnant.
Bryan grew very still. Lucy had been pregnant?
Cruz had said he loved me, that he wanted to marry me as soon as the band got better established. I thought hed be happy about the baby. Instead he was horrified. No, thats not the right word. Disgusted. He blamed me for not being more careful, and he told me to to g-get rid of it. Her voice cracked, and Bryan pulled her more closely against him.
He felt a rage against the insensitive bastard. If I ever meet this man, Ill yank out his esophagus, Bryan said. You didnt But maybe she had. Clearly she had no child now.
No, I didnt terminate the pregnancy. I told Cruz I thought he was horrid and that I was having the baby. He said he would deny it was his and claim I was a slut and I slept around with everyone.
Bryans anger escalated toward boiling. DNA could have proved
I didnt want that man acknowledged as my childs father. Not after the way he acted. He knew I could prove he was the father, and he offered me money to just go away. But I didnt take it. I just left.
So, what happened? Bryan asked, though he was afraid he knew.
I went home to the farm. My parents were scandalized, of course. They dragged me to church a lot and prayed for me. But I was their daughter, and eventually they forgave me. Then I lost the baby.
Oh, Lucy, Im sorry.
The strange thing was, I really wanted her. Everyone said losing her was a blessing, but I didnt agree, and I felt so guilty, like I was being punished. I should have listened to my parents. I shouldnt have been so wild. Taking risks for myself was one thing, but my foolhardy behavior had created a human being. It sobered me. To make amends, I swore I would never, ever take any kind of risk, ever again. I would work at the job my uncle found for me, I wouldnt call attention to myself, I would be humble.
And the implant?
Im weak, she said. I wouldnt go looking for trouble, but what if trouble found me? I wanted to be ready, just in case. I wouldnt, couldnt, take a chance on another unplanned pregnancy. And was I right? Yes. Trouble found me. And I have no ability to resist temptation, as Ive so amply illustrated tonight.
Youre not weak, he said. Youre one of the strongest women Ive ever met. You made a mistakeyou fell in love with the wrong man, thats all. It happens every day.
But whos to say it wont happen again? To me? He understood exactly what she was saying. He was the wrong man for her. Another bad choice. I would never turn my back on my own child, he said.
I know. Youre not anything like Cruz. He was a self-absorbed, spoiled child. Youre responsible and mature.
You can say that with a straight face after everything we did last night? He almost blushed thinking about what theyd done in the restaurant kitchen.
Yes, I can. I know you would put my life before yours in a heartbeat. But I also know that you would not choose to have a baby. Fortunately, thats not something you have to worry about.
He shifted his weight on top of her and kissed her, filled with a rush of affection for her. Shed made some difficult decisions. Shed taken responsibility for her actions.
He wished he could be the right man for her. She deserved someone who would love her unconditionally. Someone who would be there for her, always, not running off on dangerous missions, staying gone for weeks at a time. Someone who would welcome her babies.
Yes, she was right about him. He would not choose to bring a child into the worldfor all the same reasons he chose not to marry or let his professional and personal lives become enmeshed. He refused to put his loved ones in danger or make them worry about him.
I guess I didnt repulse you? she asked.
Nothing you could do would repulse me. On the contrary, everything she said and did turned him on more. She was like an addictive drug.
Good. Because I was rather enjoying all this. She reached down, running her hand along his ribs, then across his chest. Her fingers paused to explore the raised scar that ran along his sternum.
Youll find lots more of those on me if you look, he said. Ive got a dandy one on my leg, another across my back. Im not very pretty.
She huffed at that, then skittered across his belly with her hand, arriving at his growing arousal. This is all the pretty I need. She took it possessively into her hand.
He groaned.
I know its temporary, she said.
Itll last long enough.
She giggled. No. I meant you and me. I know we cant be together long-term. But Im okay with that. I dont want you to feel bad.
I dont feel bad. I feel very, very good, and Im going to feel better in a moment or two. He moved on top of her. He did not want to talk about, or even think about, the day they would say goodbye.
Lucy stood under the spray in Bryans enormous shower, feeling cleansed both inside and out. She was glad shed unburdened herself last night. Maybe her confession was a bit more elaborate than Bryan had been prepared for, but shed needed to say it. She hadnt talked about Cruz or her pregnancy to anyone since her miscarriage. Her parents had wanted her to bury the past, forget it had ever happened. But as awful as it was, Cruz and the pregnancy were a part of her now. She felt she had a new perspective on it. Yes, shed been naive, and shed made a mistake. But she wasnt evil.