Funny, how every time she kissed Larry, that obnoxious raspy voice of Joeys started heckling her.
He doesnt quite have my knack, now does he, babe?
But that would stop.
She was going to do what was expected of her for once and be happy about it. The well-ordered structure of Laurences life would smooth any rough edges in her being. Nicky, who had been asking why he didnt have a father, would have one. Julia could relax and give her entire soul to her chosen vocation. Heathers parents would be thrilled to have her respectably married.
A shadow passed over her face as she thought of how much her mother and father had suffered. It was up to Heather to make it up to them.
But her tears wouldnt quit as she stared at the torture in Joeys frozen face.
Joey had been able to read her heart and her forbidden fantasies with unerring accuracy. Once his wild, quirky soul had been a perfect match for hers. He had been her best friend. He had shared every thought that was in his heart as Laurence, who worked long hours at his law practice, never did.
That was then.
This was now.
Her love for Joey had come at a terrible price.
Joey was image; Laurence was substance. Hadnt her career taught her the terrible danger of confusing the two?
Joeys bedroom exploits in Hollywood were legendary.
Laurence was decent and reliable. He respected her. A happy marriage took time, work, commitment, and compromise. Sex appeal was the least important ingredient. She wanted to be safe. Larry was safe.
What about love? rasped that forbidden voice.
What about Nicky?
What would happen when Joey found out about Nicky?
Two
Joey. Daniella. Mac.
Superstar. Supermodel. Superagent.
The fallout from what Joey had said and done on stage surrounded the three passengers in the stretch limo like a poisonous gas as they sped through the night dark. Macs handsome black face smoldered with enigmatic misery as he stared out the window at the whizzing headlights.
If Joey was red-faced and guilty with self-loathing, Daniellas dark silence was equally oppressive as the sleek, black car pulled up in front of L.A.s trendiest restaurant where Mac was throwing Joey a party.
Her dark brows knitting, Daniella turned on Joey. Then the screaming crowd rushed the car, their hoarse cries drowning out her outburst.
Thank God. Joey was in no mood for another tongue-lashing.
Joey had slouched against the door while Mac had tried to cajole Danny out of her mood by praising her latest Vogue cover, but shed stiffened and notched her exquisite nose even higher.
Finally, even Mac lost patience. Honey, give him a break. Hes gonna have a hard enough time living that sappy speech down.
Daniellas glossily painted mouth had tightened. His fansll love it! Poor, poor Joey, pining for some long-lost loveHow does that make me look?
Joey had had it with Daniella. She hadnt even waited for the ceremony to end before shed attacked.
As if he didnt despise himself enough. He didnt know why hed thanked Heather. She was the last person he should have mentioned. She was marrying Larry Roth. He didnt give a damn about her anymore.
This was supposed to be the happiest night of his life. Instead, hed stood on that stage, drinking in the applause, feeling the heat of the lights only to wonder why he felt no rush of exhilaration. Hed come so far, in such a short time. No way would he ever forget growing up as the town drunks son, or his jobs as dishwasher, waiter, and bouncer. Or the cockroach-infested apartments in dangerous neighborhoods, or that awful opening night when hed sunk so low hed stripped naked in that back-alley play and then lost his nerve and leapt offstage. A producer had chased him with a video camera and caught a full frontal view. Joey had grabbed a ladys sweater and jammed it against his crotch while she shrieked. From time to time that clip was still played.
But Mac had been in the audience that night and had thought Joey was magic. Mac had tracked him down, gone to his apartment and rammed a fist on the front door.
Who the hell are you? Joey had demanded, putting the chain on at the sight of the huge, muscular black man looming in his doorway.
Your agent.
Im through acting.
Can we discuss that? Macs bright grin had been infectious. You impressed me m Hanging Out.
Youre impressing the hell out of my downstairs neighbor
Macs dark face paled when he saw the plump little girl in black pigtails squatting on the top step, her big black eyes popping out on stems.
Mac glowered. Quit eyeballing me, girl. Go beat a drum or play with a doll
Selena, her mother yelled. Get in here now.
Defiantly Selena marched down the stairs. When Mac stuck out his tongue and waggled fingers over his ears, she ran to her mother. Mama! Theres a man out here scaring me!
You gonna let me in before that woman calls the cops and they haul me to jail?
Gut instinct made Joey lift the chain.
Howd you know Selenas a drummer?
Ive got three rug rats of my own.
Youre married?
To my high school sweetheart.
True love...in this city?
Titania keeps me sane in this insane business.
Joey cracked the door wider. I wont ever take my clothes off for a part again.
How about a beer?
Theyd talked for hours. Mac had sworn he could make a big difference in Joeys career, and he had. Mac had seen that he met the right people, had taught him to quit overacting
Read the part a time or two, no more, Mac had commanded in his bullying, enthusiastic way. Then just get out there and wing it. What youve got to do is play along with the other actors. Live it when you do it. Dont think so much. Youre a natural.
Because of Mac and Titania, who were overzealous about handling every aspect of Joeys lifehis moods, his women and his moneyJoey was at the top.
But other than Mac and Titania and their kids, Joey had no real friends. Suddenly on that stage tonight hed felt as alone and empty as he had at the bottom, maybe lonelier.
Mac and Titania had each other. Sometimes their happiness made him even more aware of what was missing. Maybe that was why hed started buying land in Texas.
You could have thanked me up there Daniella had said to Joey in the limo.
God. Everything, everything was always about her.
SoThanks. Joey bit out the word.
You treat me like Im nothing to you, Joey.
He sleeps with you, doesnt he? Mac inserted.
Joey flinched and hoped Mac wouldnt catch the subtext in Dannys sudden silence and sly look.
What the hell was wrong with him? He was supposed to be a Hollywood superstud. Danny was one of the most beautiful women in the world. And he had no interest in sex. Before her, hed dated girls a night or two, always dropping them when they demanded to be more than a decoration on his arm.
He could have anybody. Women were always handing him room keys, phone numbers, business cards. Sohow come he didnt want them?
You dont care about me though, Daniella persisted.
What did she expect? What was he to her but a celebrity stud shed used to put herself on the map?
You dont care about me though, Daniella persisted.
What did she expect? What was he to her but a celebrity stud shed used to put herself on the map?
He hadnt asked Daniella to jump into his pool naked and scream she couldnt swim. Shed probably hired that paparazzi piece of trash to climb his tree and take that shot of her without a stitch on just as Joey had dragged her out of the water.
The next morning their affair and the incriminating photograph of him giving Daniella mouth to mouth resuscitation had made every tabloid cover in the civilized world.
Then shed come on to him at a party with the line, Everybody already thinks were doing it, so why dont we? Before he could cut her for being so pushy, shed kissed him.
Second photo of their mouths and bodies glued together. More tabloids.
No use denying his involvement with her after that. The media had given the world a gripping image. Truth didnt matter. Would his fans believe photos they could salivate over with their own eyesor what he told them?
A week later Daniella had bribed his gullible maid out of his beach house key Shed climbed into his bed naked and kissed him. That night hed almost lived up to his reputation as Hollywoods number one sex symbol.
So, shed used him. Big damn deal. His fame made him fair game.
Youre a star. Im a star. How come you say youre nothing, he murmured in her ear.
I want more, Joey.
For no reason at all he thought of the drowsy summer afternoon hed taught a golden-haired Heather to skim rocks across the creek. His stones had skipped to the other side; hers had gone plunk. But, oh, how theyd laughedtogether. And, oh, what theyd done later in bed.
She was getting married in a week.
Maybe he wanted more, too.
Ive heard that before, he said to Daniella.
I mean more...like a diamond ring.
Marriage?
Her silent face was as easy to read as a red neon light blinking YES!
No way, baby.
Daniellas eyes went white-bright as she glared. Go to hell, Joey.
Been there. Done that. For six damn years.
He didnt know why the hell hed said what hed said on that stage. Hed just been standing up there with those hot kleig lights, sweating like a pig. His knees had buckled. Hed been so damned scared, hed felt so damned alone. Hed blurted out the first stupid thing that hit him.
HeatherAgain he saw Bens bright, broken red car, saw her bend over Ben. When hed tried to comfort her, shed pushed him away, crying it was his fault. Then shed let that cold, blue-blooded bastard, Larry Roth, fold her into his arms and lead her away.
Damn her hide for carving his heart out, for driving him to these crazy, airless heights to prove he wasnt just a worthless nobody.
After a pause he said to Daniella, When I want to get married, Ill ask.
The fans screams outside the limo roared louder. A young brunette hurled herself at his door and beat the glass with her fists.
Let me in. I love you, Joey.
Join the world!
The fan mashed her breasts against the glass and squirmed.
Mac grinned. Titania would skin me alive if she saw this
Mac was popular with the ladies. Not that he ever did more than look. Titania was notoriously jealous.
Joey became aware of the shrill cacophony of the crowd yelling for him to get out. Fans of all sizes and ages screamed.
Stardom, Mac purred. Your big dreams come true.
Joey laughed shortly.
Be careful what you wish for? Mac murmured. What my other clients wouldnt give
This craziness was the price Joey paid, for doing the work he loved, or would have loved, if theyd give him roles with more depth. He was tired of his warrior roles even though all his movies had been smash hits. He was tired of every woman thinking he was a god in bed.
Louie, his bodyguard, opened the door and told them to run. A blonde hurled herself at Mac. Gently, Mac deflected her and flashed his wedding ring toward the cameras.
Joey dragged Daniella out of the car through the throng behind him, shielding her from the worst with his muscular body.
Flashbulbs popped, blinding him.
Faster, he hissed over his shoulder when she stopped and began to pull her dress down and stick her chest out, simpering and flirting with the cameras.
Smile for the nice man, Joey, Daniella ordered.
Hug her! a girl screamed.
Kiss her!
Encouraged, Daniellas hand snaked around his neck, her red, gooey mouth covering his. Kiss me, you undersexed bastard. Make it look good. After all, youre an actor.
He fought her. For a second more her lips and arms imprisoned him before he broke free.
Inside it was no better.
Macs party was frantic. When Joey stepped through the door, the music stopped. Everybody froze and stared. This awkward interval was followed by a spontaneous burst of applause started by a radiant Titania. In a room filled with gazelle-thin beauties, Titanias buxom figure in her white-sequined gown made her seem larger than life.
Joey nodded to her and then waved the guests to go back to whatever theyd been doing. For a moment longer he lingered at the entrance, watching Macs endless number of guests, mostly starletscoming and going. They crowded around Mac and Titania, standing three and four deep at the bar. Mac and Titania were soon having the time of their lives. Then the band started playing, and rock music hit Joey like a tidal wave. Above that roar, people started yelling.
Speech! Speech!
Thank me, Joey, a pretty girl teased.
Everybody laughed except Joey, whose grim smile got harder.
Lonely, lonely superstud.
GodSuddenly a fierce yearning for bleached limestone hills and the creek with its woodsy smells made him ache for the peace and sanity of his Texas ranch.
Ill go home with you, Joey, another girl whispered.
Joeys gut coiled tighter; his mouth twisted. Would he ever learn to handle this inconvenient side of famethe constant stares, the never-ending invasion of his privacy? He walked straight into the room, engaging no ones eyes, especially no females.
Could I get you something, darling? The girl who pounced had glossy black hair. Her laser-bright eyes made too many promises.
Im with someone.
Not any more, lover. She pointed at the dance floor.
Joey spun. Daniella was dancing cheek to cheek, body to body with Zachary Ranch, his director.
Joey charged toward them. He hated like hell to be rude to Mac and Titania, but the strange, sick-at-heart mood that had gripped him on that stage had him wild with panic again. The only way he could stay here was to get wasted or stoned. He didnt do drugs, so he had to get out of this town. Out of this state. Back to Texas where people cut him down to human size. Back to Texas before Heather got married.
Joey pulled out his cell phone and punched in his pilots number. His orders were brief.
Joey pocketed his flip-phone. Lets go, Danny.
She snuggled against Zach.
Joey tapped her arm.
When Zach tried to ease her free, she clung like a magnet. Zach and me, were having fun.
Stay then. Joeys dark tone implied he didnt care what she did. He was a little surprised when she followed him.