There were moments, many more of late, that Claudia had to wonder whether shed picked the right profession. Shed worked with this group for two years and not one of the five had conquered their fear. In fact, theyd just added more fears to the list. Surely she should have helped at least one of her patients by now.
Last year, shed taken on a part-time teaching job at a small university in Sydney and was considering a career change. Maybe shed be better at academia than she was at clinical work. And most of her patients would be fine with other doctors. Maybe theyd even be better off.
She glanced over at the group and felt a surge of guilt. They all seemed to enjoy coming to group therapy, and though they often argued among themselves, theyd grown to be a family of sortsa dysfunctional family, but a family.
Some days, they seemed so close to resolving their fears, and other days, they became overwhelmed by them. Shed hoped this trip would push them out of their comfort zones. None in the group had ever traveled, chained to their day-to-day routines by their fears. They all preferred a controlled environment with their usual coping mechanisms firmly in place.
So shed decided that maybe by throwing them into a new situation theyd learn how to exist in the real worldwithout her help. So far, shed been wrong.
All of you stay right here, she said. Im just going to run to the ladies.
Take these, Emma Wilson said, holding out a packet of wipes. You dont know what kind of plague is growing on all those fixtures. Ebola, typhus, meningitis. I could make you a list.
Im sure thats not necessary, Claudia said. And I think Ill risk it without the wipes.
She spun on her heel and hurried down the concourse, tears pushing at the corners of her eyes. This was turning into an unmitigated disaster. Everything shed worked so hard to achieve was now in jeopardy, and all because of this one stupid idea. It had sounded so good on paper, and shed imagined how shed put her successful story into a journal article or even a book. Shed even devised a name for itadventure-based therapy.
Claudia wandered over to an empty row of chairs and sat down. The tears began to tumble down her cheeks and she allowed herself the release, hoping a good cry would restore her emotional balance.
Covering her face with her hands, she let the frustration out along with her tears, scolding herself for her hubris. If she was going to teach, shed need to publish. But shed been so anxious to find a new direction for her professional life that shed risked the well-being of her clients and her reputation. If they could barely make it through a three-hour flight, how would they finish the rest of the week?
Are you all right?
Claudia looked up to find a man standing in front of her, his handsome face etched with concern. Of course I am. Why would you assume I wasnt?
Youre sitting alone in a nearly deserted airport at midnight and youre crying. It was just a wild guess.
Her cheeks warmed and she wondered if he was trying to pick her up. Nothing about her demeanor would lead him to think that she was open to that. Maybe he had some kind of white-knight complex that compelled him to help people in need. He smiled and a shiver raced down her spine. Or maybe he was just a nice guy showing a bit of concern for a stranger.
Im just taking a moment to vent, she explained. This whole day has been one disaster after another. She drew a ragged breath. I just had to release some of the stress. Claudia held her arms out and shook her hands, closing her eyes as she worked the tension out of her muscles. When she opened her eyes again, she found him staring at her.
Stress can kill you, he said. Can I get you anything? A cup of tea? Something to eat?
Oh, gosh, he really was sweet. Either that, or he was some sleazy lothario, cruising airports at midnight, looking for vulnerable women. No, that couldnt be it. He was far too handsome to need to resort to such brazen tactics.
Im really quite fine, she said. A few more moments and then Ill get back to my group.
Your group? He chuckled softly. You wouldnt be Dr. Mathison, would you?
I would, she said. How did you Claudia paused. And youre Rogan Quinn? She forced a smile. Of course you are. Fresh tears pushed at the corners of her eyes. This is just fabulous. Im supposed to be in control and here you find me blubbering like an idiot.
Rogan shook his head. You dont look like an idiot. And sometimes we can all use a good blubber, he teased. To be honest, youve seemed wound a bit tight when weve spoken on the phone.
What?
This trip is supposed to be fun. I see I have my work cut out for me.
Im not the one who needs help, she said, sending him a defiant glare.
Oh, but Im sure I can do you some good, as well, Rogan replied. Loosen up. Youre on holiday.
I am quite loose, thank you very much. Claudia wiped the last of her tears from her cheeks. And Im not on holiday. This is work for me. No different from my therapy sessions in the office.
Work or not, Ive made reservations at a nearby hotel, he said. I figured a decent nights rest would be just what the doctor ordered. He held out his hand. Come on, then. Pull yourself together and well move on.
She placed her hand in his. It would have been rude to ignore the kind gesture. And he really was trying to help. But Claudia wasnt prepared for her reaction to his touch. Her heart skipped a beat and for a moment, she forgot to breathe.
It had been such a long time since shed been with a man, so long in fact that shed forgotten what desire felt like. But that wasnt what she was feeling here, was it? Yes, he was handsome and sexy and had a smile that could melt anyones reserve. But theyd just met.
She got to her feet and managed to find the wherewithal to speak. Thank you. She gently pulled her hand from his, but as they walked down the concourse toward the baggage claim, he smoothed his palm across the small of her back.
They werent in a crowd. There was no need to touch her, yet he seemed quite comfortable doing so. Stop! This was crazy, trying to analyze his every behavior and her accompanying reaction. He was simply being polite. But, oh, it felt so delicious to experience this excitement again.
So, you had a pleasant flight? he asked.
Claudia laughed out loud. Youre kidding me, right?
I was just making conversation.
Mr. Quinn, I
You can call me Rogan.
No way. Referring to him in such a familiar way would make it even more difficult to keep her thoughts professional. Rogan. It was an unusual name...for an unusual man.
There was something about him that was magnetic. A charisma, a charm that was completely irresistible. When he smiled, she felt as if she were the only woman in the world.
Shed known men like him. Theyd always been the ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands of her clients. Men who could make a woman fall in love so hard that she lost all ability to make rational decisions. Rogan Quinn was a dangerous sort.
Perhaps you should go on ahead and arrange transportation to the hotel, she suggested, hoping for a moment alone.
I have our van waiting in the car park. Everything is taken care of.
There was something about him that was magnetic. A charisma, a charm that was completely irresistible. When he smiled, she felt as if she were the only woman in the world.
Shed known men like him. Theyd always been the ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands of her clients. Men who could make a woman fall in love so hard that she lost all ability to make rational decisions. Rogan Quinn was a dangerous sort.
Perhaps you should go on ahead and arrange transportation to the hotel, she suggested, hoping for a moment alone.
I have our van waiting in the car park. Everything is taken care of.
Claudia felt all of her tension slowly dissipate. She fought the urge to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him. Though she wasnt usually prone to displays of public affection, this man was competent and organized and quite pleasant. He might be a flirt, but hed just rescued her from disaster. He deserved some type of compensation.
This will definitely be reflected in your tip, she murmured.
As soon as she said it, Claudia regretted the backhanded compliment. It made him sound so mercenary, when hed only been trying to please her with his professionalism.
Its all part of the job, Rogan replied.
She gave him a quick glance, trying to read his expression. He didnt appear to be insulted. Claudia prided herself on her ability to anticipate problems and deal with them before they turned into disasters. To him, she must look like an incompetent boob. I hope this delay wont cause too many problems with the itinerary.
I think, from now on, we need to keep the itinerary as flexible as possible.
But everything is planned. I want to make efficient use of our
He reached out and pressed a finger to her lips. Loose. Easy. Go with the flow. Ive got it all covered. Trust me.
Claudia nodded silently. She wasnt known for her flexibility. Every last minute of her day, her week, her life, was planned. She didnt do anything unless it appeared in her date book. But she wasnt beyond experiencing something new, moving out of her own comfort zone. Maybe this trip could be a learning experience for her as well as her clients.
They walked together to the baggage claim carousel and found her patients huddled in a group, deep in discussion. When they saw Claudia, they quickly pulled apart, shooting her nervous looks. Emma stepped forward, squaring her shoulders as she prepared to speak. Were tired and were hungry, she said. She glanced around at her compatriots and then all nodded their agreement. We want to go to a hotel and we want separate rooms.
And room service, Eddie Findlay, Claudias agoraphobe, whispered. Im not eating in a public restaurant.
Ill need a ground-floor room, Leticia Macullum added. If theres a fire, I wont be jumping from any windows.
No lifts me for me, Millie Zastrow added. And I have to have a large room. With big windows. That open.
But, Millie, I thought wed conquered your fear of lifts, Claudia said. Remember our coping mechanism? The counting game?
No lifts, Millie insisted, crossing her arms in front of her.
Im sure we can accommodate all your requests, Rogan said in a genial tone. Lets gather up your luggage. Ill just go fetch the van and well be off.
Emma smiled in triumph. Good. Were all very exhausted from the trip.
Do you know how long its been since the establishment was fumigated? II have a problem with insects.
Rogan turned to Marshall Block. Im not sure. But Ill ask when we arrive.
Claudia stood back and watched as Rogan got them all moving toward the exit. She knew he was an experienced guide. That was why shed requested him. But she hadnt expected him to be so patient and understanding. He seemed to sense the mood of the group and adjust his tone accordingly. Surprisingly, the entire group fell into line behind him.
Rogan only had to address a few of their concerns about the service record of his van before he managed to get everyone safely inside. As they drove to the hotel, Claudia studied his profile in the darkened interior. His rugged good looks would cause any red-blooded womans gaze to linger a bit longer.
His dark hair was shaggy and thick and she decided the only grooming he gave it was a quick comb-through with his fingers. His deep tan set off perfect teeth and eyes that were as blue as the sky on a clear day. Though she preferred a smooth-shaven man, the stubble did give him a rugged appearance. But it was his smile, so warm and engaging, that she found so attractive.
She let her gaze drift lower and made a careful catalog of his other physical attributes. He was tall and lanky, but she suspected that beneath the casual clothes, he had a beautiful body. Not soft and pale, like most of the academics shed dated, but hard and muscled, like a man who spent most of his time in harsh conditions.
No one spoke on the way to the hotel, and the ride was mercifully short. When they got out of the van, Rogan helped carry the baggage inside, then gathered them all at the reception desk. Lets meet here at noon tomorrow. Ill leave you all to get brekkie on your own. Just put it on your room tab and it will be covered for you.
What are we going to do tomorrow? Leticia asked in a timid voice.
I havent quite worked that out yet, he said. But it wont involve any airplane flights.
That seemed to bring a chorus of relieved sighs. Claudia cleared her throat and said to her patients, Why dont we plan on getting together for a group session tomorrow morning at eleven? We should discuss what happened today and
I think it would be better if we left today in the past and started fresh in the morning, Rogan interrupted. No use dwelling on it. Its important to keep moving forward.
Claudia bit back a gasp. It was terribly presumptuous of him to countermand her authority at such an early point in the trip. But it would be unprofessional to make an issue out of it in front of the others. Perhaps that would be best, she said.
She didnt want to start an argument now; shed take Rogan aside later and quietly inform him of his error.
Her mind flashed an image of the two of them alone, but it wasnt a congenial meeting of minds that she imagined. To her shock, the scene was intimate, the lights dimmed, the mood relaxed. Claudia shook herself out of the brief fantasy and looked over at Rogan, only to find him staring at her.
Yes, well meet in the lobby at noon, she said. Her clients all nodded in agreement, then lined up to check in to their rooms. Ill leave you to take care of the details, she said to Rogan.
She grabbed her bag and headed toward the comfortable sofas, but at the last moment she made a detour toward the hotel bar. Though shed never been much of a drinker, right now she needed something to bolster her spirits. This trip would be the biggest challenge of her career. But it could also be her greatest success. It could open doors and position her as a new voice with a fresh approach. She could imagine any number of universities interested in her groundbreaking workmaybe even a few outside Australia.
And yet, here she was, ready to give it all up and get on a plane back to Sydney, with or without her group. If she really wanted this to work, shed have to gather her resolve and fight through the frustrations. Besides, she couldnt help but be a bit curious as to what Rogan Quinn might have planned for them all. Even if she didnt have much confidence in her plan right now, he seemed to think it would work.