If youre thinking about kissing me, whats stopping you?
Was that an invitation? Or a rhetorical question? He wasnt sure. But the scent of her hair and the sight of her lush, damp mouth was too much to resist.
At the same time, she was drunk and he wasnt about to do something that shed regret the next morning. He bent closer and brushed his lips against her warm cheek.
When he drew back, her green eyes were wide with surprise, her lips parted as if she were about to say something. He fought the urge to take things a step further. Then she threw her arms around his neck and took the decision out of his hands.
Her lips were soft and damp, and as the kiss spun out of control, Rogan smoothed his hands around her waist and drew her closer. So much for him loosening her up. She seemed more than willing to live in the moment, and this moment was surprisingly powerful.
A flood of desire surged inside him, the anticipation acute. And yet, he couldnt act on it; given her condition, it would be best to make a quick retreat.
He drew away, and before she had a chance to kiss him again or invite him inside, he gently pushed her farther into the room. Good night, Claudia, he said, grabbing the door. Ill see you in the morning.
He turned and stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him. As he strode toward the lift, Rogan reviewed his last move in his mind. There was an obvious attraction between him and Claudia that couldnt be denied. But how far was she willing to go to explore it? Once sober, would she shut him down with some excuse about professional behavior? Or would she let down her hair and indulge?
He was a good guide, and he could handle whatever her patients threw his way. But Claudia was a different matter. She seemed to put him off his game, to jumble this thoughts and tease his desire. And with so much riding on the success of this trip, could he risk adding seduction to the adventure?
But was it a risk? After all, he was a master at separating sex from emotion. It wouldnt be any different with Claudia Mathison.
2
CLAUDIA WOKE TO a sharp rap at her hotel room door. She pushed up from the pillows and groaned, realizing that shed slept in her clothes the night before. Squinting, she tried to make out the time, then cried out when she saw it was already past noon. She hadnt overslept in years. The latest she allowed herself to linger in bed was 8:00 a.m., and that was only on Sundays.
She scrambled out of bed but her legs got tangled in the sheets and she lurched toward the door, her head pounding. When she pulled it open, she found Rogan standing in the hallway. Why didnt you wake me earlier? Whats going on? Where is everyone?
Were waiting downstairs. Did you just wake up?
Of course, I just woke up, she said. If Id been awake earlier, I would have been downstairs on time.
Youre wearing the same clothes you were wearing last night.
Leave it to Rogan Quinn to state the obvious. Its your fault. You gave me that last drink. She strode to the bed and began to gather her things. Then she stopped.
The events of the previous evening came flooding back into her mind. Their conversation. The way hed touched her. The kiss. Warmth rose in her cheeks.
I apologize, that was unfair. I was feeling sorry for myself and I drank too much. Youre not in any way culpable.
Thank you, Rogan said, glancing around the room. He reached down and picked up an empty bag of crisps. What did you do, raid the minibar?
I was hungry. She stopped. Before I go any further, I have something to say. I seem to recall that I kissed you last night. And I want to apologize if I compromised your professional integrity by doing that. I meant no disrespect.
We both participated in that kiss, Rogan said. And it was quite enjoyable, as I recall. Didnt you like it?
Claudia rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Of course, I Yes, it was quite lovely.
She sank down on the edge of the bed, a sudden wave of dizziness overwhelming her. Rogan had kissed heror she had kissed him. The particulars really didnt matter. Though it had been just a brief indulgence, it had been deliciously intriguing. So intriguing that shed spent a good hour afterward stuffing herself with snacks from the minibar as she tried, with her martini-muddled mind, to analyze exactly what had transpired between them.
Are you all right? he asked.
Her stomach roiled, and for a second she thought she might be sick. Then, an instant later, she knew she was going to be sick. Excuse me, she muttered as she raced to the bathroom.
The humiliation was almost more than she could bear, but there was no stopping the symptoms of a hangover. When shed finally finished retching, she glanced up to find him watching her from the doorway of the bathroom. Claudia covered her face with her hands. Go away! she cried.
She heard the water running and then he was there, sitting next to her on the floor. He pressed the cool cloth to her forehead. You look quite lovely this morning, he said.
Claudia managed a quick laugh. Oh, I feel lovely, she replied, her voice filled with sarcasm. She tried to get up, but it was too much effort so she leaned back against the side of the bathtub. I really didnt mean what I said, she murmured. Youve really been quite wonderful. And Ive been an utter mess. You must think Im a first-class loon.
No, I think youre quite wonderful, as well, Rogan said.
I can take the truth, Claudia said. I specialize in the truth.
Ive noticed that about you, Rogan said. You always say exactly whats on your mind. I like that about you. He smoothed the cloth over her cheeks and lips. So tell me the truth, he said.
About what?
Would you like to kiss me again?
She knew she ought to lie, to say that another kiss would be wholly inappropriate. And in a corner of her soul, she realized it could only lead to disaster. Her whole career rested on her reputation, and that meant shed had to be scrupulous about her professional behavior.
And that was even more true now. If there was even a whiff of impropriety about her, it could jeopardize any thoughts of an academic career. If the hiring committee had even the slightest concern about her conduct, they could put her at the bottom of the list.
And yet, didnt she deserve to have a personal life, one that included excitement and passion? How could she possibly convince her patients to live in the moment when she didnt do the same?
If it was just about her, she might consider it. But her father was getting older and as time passed, hed need even more help and financial support.
Claudia cursed herself inwardly for once again analyzing everything to death. It was just a kiss. It wasnt as if she planned to jump into bed with him.
If its taking you this long to answer, you must have reservations, he murmured. I take back the question.
She had enjoyed kissing him. And she wanted to try it again just onceafter she brushed her teeth two or three times, of course. Yes, Claudia said.
Youd like to kiss me?
Yes, but not right now. Maybe later?
Later, he said. I can wait.
I need a bit of time, she said, her gaze fixed on his. I have to figure out how to handle you first.
Later, he said. I can wait.
I need a bit of time, she said, her gaze fixed on his. I have to figure out how to handle you first.
I dont need handling, Rogan said. Im not one of your patients. He reached over and hooked his finger beneath her chin, his eyes dropping to her lips. I find myself strangely obsessed with your mouth. Is there a cure for that, Dr. Mathison?
Claudia groaned inwardly. Did she possess the strength to resist him? Did she even want to attempt to maintain her distance? In all honesty, the trip was already a disaster and her career was probably already ruined. What could possibly make it worse?
When his gaze finally rose to her eyes, Claudia knew she was fighting a lost cause. She was in a weakened state, her confidence flagging, and when he turned his charm on her, she felt so much better about herself.
If one of her patients had said that to her, Claudia probably would have warned her off, explaining that she could become dependent on a man to validate her self-worth. But right now Claudia didnt care. Rogan could validate all he wanted.
I should probably go check on the group, Rogan said. After I told them what we were going to do today, they seemed a bit anxious.
What are we doing? Claudia asked.
Ive arranged a kayaking trip down Puhoi River. Its smooth water and just eight kilometers. Plus the tide pulls you along so it isnt too difficult physically. And the scenery is beautiful. I think everyone will enjoy it.
She groaned softly, the idea of spending the day on a boat causing another wave of nausea. It sounds...lovely.
If youd prefer to spend the afternoon here, you can join us later.
No, no, Claudia said. I want to come. I need to come. I have to be there to observe and evaluate.
All right. Im going to give you a few minutes to get yourself together and well be waiting for you in the lobby. He got to his feet. Are you sure youre going to be all right?
Yes, she said. Ill just grab a little something to eat and then Ill be as good as new.
We have reservations for lunch at a local pub in another hour. Great food. Youll love it.
You think of everything, she said.
Thats my job, Dr. Mathison.
He left the bathroom and she listened for the room door to click shut behind him. Shed pictured this trip in her mind a thousand times since coming up with the plan, but shed never imagined it would turn out like this. A rocky start, a sexy guide, a surprising kiss and a bad hangover. What was next?
Certainly not sex, she muttered to herself as she got to her feet. She caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. Oh, bugger. Her mascara was smudged beneath her eyes and her dark hair was a rats nest of tangles. She peered more closely at a brown streak on her chest, then realized it was melted chocolate. She must have eaten a candy bar before passing out last night.
Well, youve created an excellent first impression. Thank goodness her patients hadnt seen her in this state. But Rogan had. Hed seen her at her absolute worst. Maybe that was for the best. A single kiss was one thing, but encouraging some kind of relationship with Rogan Quinn was ill-advised. She had a professional reputation to maintain and if she was mooning over the handsome guide, her group would surely notice.
Besides, where would it lead? Time after time, man after man, Claudia had managed to analyze herself out of every romantic relationship that came her way. She couldnt seem to keep herself from picking apart every conversation, every simple gesture, every perceived problem until the relationship fell apart in front of her.
Though shed tried to stop herself, she couldnt. It was one of the downsides to her profession. She knew too well how the mind worked. Claudia groaned softly, bracing her hands on the edge of the counter.
But whod said anything about a relationship? Here was a man with whom she couldnt possibly have a future. He spent his days wandering the world, and she lived her life in an office in Sydney. If there ever was a time to indulge, this was it. It might even help give her more confidence in her work.
It felt wonderful to indulge in a bit of a flirtation and to have it reciprocated. And it didnt have to end in bed, did it? They could kiss, they could touch and then, at the end of the week, they could part. It would be simple.
And she would maintain control, as Claudia always did in her personal relationships, never allowing herself to get too far ahead of the curve, never indulging in feelings that might never be reciprocated. It wouldnt be any different with Rogan Quinn.
She quickly washed her face and brushed her teeth. Once shed changed into fresh jeans and a comfortable cotton shirt, her outlook had improved considerably. And though she wanted to grab a shower, Claudia couldnt expect the group to wait any longer.
Grabbing her bag, she hurried to the lift and then rode down to the lobby. To her surprise, the group was relaxing on the sofas and everyone seemed calm and happy. Rogan was sitting with them but as soon as he saw her, he stood.
There she is, he said.
Sorry Im late. Did you explain?
I told them you had an emergency call from back home. Claudia appreciated the lie. Is everything all right?
She sent Rogan a grateful smile. Everything is fine. Are we ready to go? I hear we have an interesting day ahead of us.
As they walked to the van, she caught up with Rogan. Thank you. I usually dont lie to them, but in this case, I think it was justified.
No worries, he said.
So whats the plan for tonight?
We are going to camp at the regional park at the end of our kayak trip. Its a pretty tame spot, but it will be a good test. Im going to teach everyone a few survival skills, well make a camp meal and then Im going to kiss you again. After that, my plans are pretty much up to you.
Have you told the group?
About the kiss? No, but I will if you want me to.
About your plans for them, she said.
He grinned. I have. And though theyd prefer to stay at the hotel, theyre ready for a challenge.
Its a fine plan, she said. Carry on.
The group had loaded their luggage into the back of the van. Rogan took her bag and tucked it into an empty spot, then he placed his hand on the small of her back as they waited for everyone to choose a seat. Claudia focused on the warmth of his hand, on the sensations caused by his touch, knowing it wasnt just a polite gesture. He wanted to touch her, to kiss her, and he was just biding his time until they were alone again.
Her pulse quickened and all the effects of her hangover seemed to disappear. She felt energized and exhilarated. She was ready to spend the day repairing her reputation as a competent therapist and getting to watch Rogan in his element.
* * *
IT HAD BEEN years since Rogan had visited the quaint village of Puhoi. It wasnt the kind of place that usually popped up on his guiding itinerary. Just a bit too civilized for him and his usual clients. But for Claudias patients, it was perfect. The town had been settled by Bohemian immigrants in the mid-1800s and retained much of its European charm.
The group enjoyed a lunch at the local pub, gathered around a long wooden table filled with food and drink. To Rogans surprise, they were quite at ease with each other, and he came to understand that they spent every Tuesday afternoon together in group therapy, working through their individual problems.