What did she really think about this idea of Maidas? Had it made her remember what happened between them the last time she was here?
One kiss, that was all. It was ridiculous to worry about the effect of one kiss. Of course he shouldnt have done it. Shed been working in his house, and that alone made her out of bounds to him.
Even if that hadnt been the case, hed learned something when his wifes death, so soon after shed left him, had made patching up their failing marriage impossible. Even if Karin had survived, even if shed come back to the small-town life she detested, hed known then that finding the love of a lifetime was an illusion. Reality was raising his son properly and maintaining the business this whole town relied on. He didnt intend to chase any more romantic rainbows.
So what was he doing watching Paulas smooth, easy stride, eyeing the swing of blond hair against her shoulder when she looked down to smile at Jason? He should have better sense.
She paused at the pool, bending to dip her fingers in the water. Nice. Ill bet youre in the pool all the time, now that schools out.
Jason shrugged. Mostly my dad uses it. To make his leg better.
Alex braced himself for the look of pity, but she just nodded.
Good idea.
If youd like to use the pool while youre here, please do. He disliked the stilted tone of his voice. Paulas presence had thrown him off balance. She was part of an embarrassing incident in his past, and she was also a reminder of the plane crash.
But shed probably long since forgotten about that kiss. As for the accident, that was something every survivor had to deal with in his own way.
Thanks. She stood. I dont know if Ill be here that long.
Her words challenged him, but he wouldnt be drawn in. Hed ignore that particular problem for the moment. Jason had gotten several strides ahead, leaving them side by side. As they headed for the housekeepers cottage, Alex lowered his voice. How did Maida seem when you visited her? I hope shes not too worried about the surgery. Or about not having told me. She needs to concentrate on getting well, rather than worrying about us.
She hesitated, frown lines creasing her forehead. She seems to trust the doctor to put things right. We didnt talk long.
That sounds a bit evasive.
She shot him an annoyed look. Dont you think it would be more polite not to say so?
Hed forgotten that directness of hers. It made him smilewhen it wasnt irritating him. Im worried about Maida, too. Remember?
Are you?
Yes. All right, now he was annoyed. Maybe that was a safer way to feel with Paula, anyway. Believe it or not, youre not the only one who cares about her.
Her clear green eyes seemed to weigh his sincerity. Then she nodded with a kind of cautious acceptance. The surgeon says she should come through the operation with flying colors, and then Brett will supervise her rehabilitation. Thatll take time, and he wouldnt guess how long until she can come home.
He glanced at his son. I havent mentioned the surgery to Jason. I just said Maida needed a rest. The less he knows, the better.
She frowned as if disagreeing, but didnt argue. She moved toward his son. Just put that on the porch, Jason. Ill take it in later.
She dropped her bags and sat down on the step, then patted the spot next to her. Have a seat and tell me whats been going on. I havent seen you for a long time.
Jason sat cautiously, seeming ready to dart away at a moments notice.
Had Alex been that shy when he was Jasons age? He thought not, but then his father had always insisted on the social graces, no matter what he actually felt. Maybe, if his mother had lived, things would have been different. He stood stiffly, not comfortable with sitting down next to them, not willing to walk away, either.
Bet youre glad schools out for the summer, Paula said. I know my kids were.
Jason glanced up at her. You have kids?
My students, she corrected herself. I teach kindergarten. My school finished up yesterday, and everyone celebrated. Did you have a party the last day?
Jason nodded. We played games. And Maida made cupcakes for me to take.
Alex hadnt known that, but, of course, it was the sort of thing Maida would do. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to ease the pain in his leg. With the crucial business deal pending, hed had trouble keeping up with anything else lately, including second-grade parties. He should go in and get back to work, but still he lingered, watching Paula with his son.
Ill bet the kids liked those, she said. Maida makes the best cupcakes.
Jason nodded, glancing down at the step he was scuffing with the toe of his shoe. Then he looked up at Paula. Did you come here to teach me?
Teach you? she echoed. Why would I do that? Schools out for the summer.
Jason shrugged, not looking at either of them. My dad thinks I should do better in school.
Shock took Alexs breath away for a moment. Then he found his voice. Jason, I dont think that at all. And its not something we should talk about to Paula, anyway.
Paula ignored him, all her attention focused on Jason. Her hand rested lightly on his sons shoulder. Hey, second grade is tough for lots of people. I remember how hard it was when I had to start writing instead of printing. My teacher said my cursive looked like chicken scratches.
Honest? Jason darted a glance at her.
Honest. She smiled at him. You can ask Aunt Maida if you dont believe me. She probably remembers when I used to try to write letters to her. Sometimes shed call me to find out what Id said.
Shed managed to wipe the tension from Jasons face with a few words. Alex didnt know whether to be pleased or jealous that shed formed such instant rapport with his son. Paula seemed to have a talent for inspiring mixed feelings in him.
Her blond hair swung across her cheek as she leaned toward Jason, saying something. The impulse to reach out and brush it back was so strong that his hand actually started to move before common sense took over.
Mixed feelings, indeed. The predominant feeling he had toward Paula Hansen wasnt mixed at all. It was one hed better ignore, for both their sakes.
Paula stood on the tiny porch of the housekeepers cottage the next morning, looking across the expansive grounds that glistened from last nights shower. The sun, having made it over the steep mountains surrounding Bedford Creek, slanted toward the birch tree at the end of the pool, turning its wet leaves to silver. The only sound that pierced the stillness was the persistent call of a bobwhite.
The stillness had made this secluded village seem like a haven to her when she was a child. Shed arrived in the Pennsylvania mountains from Baltimore, leaving behind the crowded row house echoing with the noise her brothers made. Four brothersall of them older, all of them thinking they had the right to boss her around. Her childhood had sometimes seemed like one long battlefor privacy, for space, for the freedom to be who she was.
Here shed stepped into a different worldone with nature on the doorstep, one filled with order and quiet. She couldnt possibly imagine the Caine mansion putting up with a loud game of keep-away in its center hall. It would have ejected the intruders forcibly.
Here shed stepped into a different worldone with nature on the doorstep, one filled with order and quiet. She couldnt possibly imagine the Caine mansion putting up with a loud game of keep-away in its center hall. It would have ejected the intruders forcibly.
Paula glanced toward the back of the mansion, wondering how much Alex had changed it since his fathers death. The room on the end was the solarium. She remembered it filled with plants, but Alex had apparently converted it to a workout room. She could see the equipment through the floor-to-ceiling windows.
Next came the kitchen, with its smaller windows overlooking the pool. She should be there right now, fixing breakfast for Alex and Jason, but Alex had made it very clear he didnt want that.
Aunt Maida wasnt going to be happy. The last thing shed said the night before had been to fix breakfast. Paulas proteststhat Alex had told her not to, that Alex hadnt agreed to let her stay yethad fallen on deaf ears.
Maidas stubborn streak was legendary in the Hansen family. Paulas father was the same, and any battle between Maida and him was a clash of wills. She vividly remembered the war over Maidas determination that Paula go to college. If not for Maida, Paula might have given up, accepting her fathers dictum that girls got marriage certificates, not degrees. Her dream of a profession might have remained a dream.
But Maida wouldnt allow that. Shed pushed, encouraged, demanded. Paula had worked two jobs for most of the four years of college, but shed made it through, thanks to Aunt Maida.
She leaned against the porch rail, watching a pair of wrens twittering in the thick yew hedge that stretched from the housekeepers cottage toward the garage. If only she could find a way to help her aunt, to help Jason, without being a servant in Alex Caines house.
She and Jason had played on the flagstone patio when she was his nanny. Theyd sat in the gazebo with a storybook, and hed leaned against her confidently, his small head burrowed against her arm. She remembered, so well, the vulnerable curve of his neck, the little-boy smell of him. Hed look up at her, his dark eyes so like his fathers, sure he could trust her, sure shed be there for him. And then shed gone away.
What am I supposed to do, Lord? If Alex said no, would she be upset or would she be relieved? Only the guilt she felt over Jason kept her from running in the opposite direction rather than face Alex Caine every day and remember how hed kissed her and then turned away, embarrassed.
Infatuation, she told herself sternly. It was infatuation, nothing more. She would stop imagining it was love.
She remembered, only too clearly, standing in the moonlight looking up at him, her feelings surely written on her face. Then recognition swept over her. Alex regretted that kiss. He probably thought shed invited it. Humiliation flooded her, as harsh and scalding as acid.
Shed mumbled some excuse and run back to Aunt Maidas cottage. And a few days later, when shed realized the feelings werent going to fade, shed made another excuse and left her job several weeks earlier than shed intended, prepared to scurry back to Baltimore.
The flow of memories slowed, sputtering to a painful halt. Her last clear recollection was of Alex lifting her suitcase into the limo next to his own, saying he had to take the commuter flight out that day, too. Thennothing. Shed eventually regained the rest of her memories, but the actual take-off and crash remained hidden, perhaps gone forever.
When shed recovered enough to ask questions, her parents had simply said shed been on her way home from her summer job. If shed remembered then, would she have done anything differently? She wasnt sure. The failure had lain hidden in her mind.
Now, according to Aunt Maida, anyway, God was giving her a chance to make up for whatever mistakes shed made then. Unlike most of the people Paula knew, Aunt Maida never hesitated to bring God into every decision.
Whether Maida was right about Gods will, Paula didnt know. But her aunt was right about one thingJason had changed. Paula pictured his wary expression, the way he hunched his shoulders. The happy child hed been once had vanished.
Of course, he was old enough now to understand a little more about his mothers leaving. That traumatic event, followed so soon by the plane crash that injured his father, was enough to cause problems for any child. And he must know that his mother wouldnt be coming back. Maida had told her the details that hadnt appeared in Karins brief obituarythe wild party, the drunken driver. Paula frowned, thinking of students whod struggled with similar losses.
A flicker of movement beyond the yew hedge caught her eye. Between the glossy dark leaves, she glimpsed a bright yellow shirt. Shed thought Jason was at breakfast with his father. What was he doing?
She rounded the corner of the cottage and spotted the child. The greeting shed been about to call out died on her lips. All her teacher instincts went on alert. She might not know Jason well any longer, but she knew what a kid up to something looked like. Jason bent over something on the ground, his body shielding it from her view.
She moved quietly across the grass. Jason? Whats up?
He jerked around at her voice, dropping the object he held. The crumpled paper lit with a sudden spark, a flame shooting up.
She winced back, heart pounding, stomach contracting. Run! a voice screamed in her head. Run!
She took a breath, then another. She didnt need to run. Nothing would hurt her. Its all right. She repeated the comforting words over in her mind. It was all right.
Except that it wasnt. Quite aside from the terror of fire that had plagued her since the accident, what was Jason doing playing with matches? Another thought jolted her. Was this connected with his fathers narrow escape from a fiery death?
Carefully she stepped on the spark that remained, grinding it into the still-wet grass. The scent of burning lingered in the air, sickening her.
She looked at Jason, and he took a quick step back. Whered you get the matches, Jason?
His lower lip came out. I dont know what youre talking about. I dont have any matches.
Sure you do. She held out her hand. Give them to me.
Maybe it was the calm, authoritative teacher voice. Jason dug into his jeans pocket, pulled out the matchbook and dropped it into her hand.
She closed her fingers firmly around it. She wouldnt let them tremble. Where did you get this?
For a moment she thought he wouldnt answer. He glared at her, dark eyes defiant. Then he shrugged. My dads desk. Are you gonna tell him?
I think someone should, dont you? It would hardly be surprising if Jasons unresolved feelings about his fathers accident had led to a fascination with fire. Not surprising, but dangerous.
No! His anger flared so suddenly that it caught her by surprise. His small fists clenched. Leave me alone.
Jason She reached toward him, impelled by the need to comfort him, but he dodged away from her.
Go away! He nearly shouted the words. Just go away! He turned and ran toward the house.
She discovered she was shaking and wrapped her arms around herself. Jason had made his feelings clear. His was definitely a vote for her to leave.
Alex put the weights back on their rack and stretched, gently flexing his injured knee. Brett Elliot, one of his oldest friends as well as his doctor, would personally supervise his workouts if he thought Alex was skipping them. And Brett was right; Alex had to admit it. The exercise therapy had brought him miles from where hed been after the accident.