This is important.
What was one more disruption to his day? He wasnt getting anything accomplished, anyway. He stepped back, gesturing her in.
Is something wrong?
She swung to face him. Have you made a decision about hiring someone to replace my aunt?
He motioned to a chair, but she shook her head, planting herself in the center of the oriental carpet and looking at him.
Not yet, he admitted. Summer is tourist season in Bedford Creek. Everyone who wants a job is probably already working.
He couldnt deny the fact that Maida had been right about one thing. Paula could be the answer to his problems. But the uncomfortable ending to her previous stay, his own mixed feelings for her, made that impossible. He couldnt seem to get past that.
You have to have someone Jason can get along with. She hesitated. I couldnt help thinking that hes changed.
He stiffened. My son is fine. Fine, he repeated silently.
He seems to believe youre disappointed in his school work.
Her clear, candid gaze bored into him. He misunderstood, he said shortly. Jason is very bright. He glared at her, daring her to disagree.
Yes, of course he is. But that doesnt mean school is easy for him.
Paula, I dont want to discuss my son with you. Jason is fine. Now, is there anything else?
She looked at him for what felt like a long moment, and he couldnt tell what was going on behind her usually expressive face. Then her eyes flickered.
Just one thing. You should hire me to fill in until Maida is well again.
Paulas heart pounded in her ears. She hadnt intended to blurt it out like that. Shed thought shed lead up to it, present her arguments rationally. Unfortunately, she didnt seem able to think in any sensible manner when she was around Alex.
That in itself was a good reason to run the other direction. You didnt come back, not for a long time. Jasons plaintive voice echoed in her mind. No, she couldnt let him down. He needed someone, and she was the one he wanted right now.
Alex wasnt answering, and that fact jacked up her tension level. He was probably trying to find a polite way to tell her hed rather hire anyone else but her.
He walked to the other side of the long library table he used as a desk. It was littered with papers, and supported an elaborate computer system. Maybe he wanted to put some space between them, or maybe he was emphasizing the fact that this was his office, his house, his decision.
But there, beyond him, was the window seat where shed curled up as a child. There, on the lowest shelf, were the storybooks shed read. She had a place here, too.
He looked at her, a frown sending three vertical lines between his dark brows. Are you sure this is something you want to do?
She took a breath. At least he hadnt started with no. Maybe he was willing to consider it. Jason knows me, and Aunt Maida would feel better. Im sure shed call me five times a day from the hospital if the doctor would let her, just to be sure everything is all right.
Thats not what I asked. His gaze probed beneath the surface. How do you feel about it, Paula?
How did she feel about it? Mixed emotionsthat was probably the best way to describe it. But Alex didnt need to know that. I want the job. I think I can do it, although I dont have much experience. She remembered Aunt Maidas concerns, and plunged on. I know you have some important entertaining coming up in the next month. If youre worried about that
What could she say? She couldnt claim expertise she didnt have. Shed never put on a fancy party in her life, and she didnt think her usual brand of entertaining was what Alex was used to. Hed probably never ordered in pizza for guests.
Im not. He glanced toward the portrait above the mantel, then away. Its important, of course, but Ill hire a caterer for that, in any event. Maidas job would be to oversee the staff.
It sounded like a breeze compared to the elaborate cooking shed been imagining. If someone else was doing the work, she ought to be able to manage a simple dinner party. I think I could do that.
His gaze assessed her, and she stiffened. Maybe she hadnt lived all her life in a mansion, but she was smart enough to work her way through college. How hard could this be in comparison?
Actually, thats not my concern at the moment. He looked impossibly remote, as if he viewed her through the wrong end of a telescope. I want to know how you feel about working for me again, after what happened the last time you were here.
It was like a blow to the stomach, rocking her back on her heels. She hadnt dreamed hed refer to it, had assumed hed ignore what he probably saw as an unpleasant episode. Or that hed forgotten it.
Thats all in the past, she said with as much firmness as she could manage. You apologized. You said wed pretend it never happened. Hed done a very good job of that, as she knew only too well. The humiliation shed felt when hed said those words brought a stinging wave of color to her cheeks. Why are you bringing it up now?
Because I dont want it hanging between us, he said. I dont want you to spend your time here worrying that Ill make the same mistake again.
A mistake, thats what it was to him. A moment of weakness when the moonlight had tricked him into a brief, romantic gesture he later regretted. Well, he was never going to know it meant any more than that to her.
Please, forget about it. She forced herself to keep her voice steady and unconcerned. I already have.
She had, of course. For nearly two years shed forgotten it entirely. Maybe shed have been better off if shed never remembered. But just a week ago, the memory had popped out from behind the locked door in her mind. The doctors couldnt explain why. Theyd said she could remember any time, or never.
She swallowed hard. What else might be hiding there? She still didnt remember anything about those moments when the plane went down. Would she suddenly find herself reliving every painful second of the crash?
Good. He was briskly businesslike. In that case, we can start with a clean slate between us. If youre really willing to take on this position, it seems to be the best solution for everyone.
She tried to smile. Position was a fancy word for it. She was about to become an employee in his house. And shed have to do it without ever letting him know how she felt about him.
The best solution for everyone, she echoed. We couldnt ask for better than that.
She had to find a way to keep her relationship with Alex businesslikepleasant, but businesslike. She was just another employee to him, and as far as she was concerned, this was just another job. It was no different than if shed been filing paperwork in someones office.
Well, maybe a little different. If she were filing papers, she wouldnt be working for someone who tied her heart in knots.
Chapter Four
P aula put the carafe of coffee on a tray and glanced at the schedule Maida had taped to the kitchen cabinet, tension dancing along her nerves. Okay, so far she was on target, although it had probably taken her twice as long as it would have taken Maida. It was a good thing shed decided to get up early this morning, Paula thought as she headed through the swinging door to the front of the house and up the stairs. Next on the agenda was to take the coffee to Alexs room.
The second-floor hallway was as big as the entire living room in the apartment she shared with another teacher back home. She pushed the thought away. If she let herself make comparisons like that, shed be too intimidated to do her job.
She tapped first, then opened the heavy doormore English oak. She remembered Maida showing her around the mansion on an earlier visit, explaining how one of Alexs ancestors had imported the paneling and brought artisans over from Germany to create the stained glass. Maida had been as proud as if it belonged to her.
Paula, good. Alex strode into the bedroom from the bath, still buttoning his shirt. He stopped, looking at her. Is something wrong?
No. Nothing. Nothing except that I didnt anticipate how this much intimacy would affect me. She forced down the flutter in her stomach and lifted the tray slightly. Where would you like this?
Instead of telling her, he took the tray, his hands brushing hers briefly. Her skin seemed sensitized to his touch, reacting with awareness in every cell. For an instant his gaze held hers. Was there more than business-as-usual in his eyes? Before she could be sure, he turned away and set the tray on the mahogany bureau. He busied himself pouring out a cup of coffee, his back to her.
Shed like to beat a retreat back to the kitchen, but Maida had said Alex would give his daily orders now. Orders. Paula swallowed a lump of resentment. She didnt take orders well; she never had. But she couldnt argue with Alex the way she would have with her father or brothers. In this situation, he was the boss, just as he had been when she was Jasons nanny. Their kiss hadnt changed that.
She pulled a pad and pencil from her jeans pocket. Shed taken the precaution of coming prepared, and the sooner this was done, the sooner she could escape. But Alex didnt seem to be in any hurry.
Do you have some instructions for the day? she prompted. Somehow instructions sounded fractionally better than orders.
He glanced toward her, the lines around his dark eyes crinkling a little as he gestured with his coffee cup. Let me get some of this down first. Then Ill be able to think.
She nodded, glad he couldnt know how dry her mouth felt at the moment. This was just too awkwardstanding in Alexs private sanctum, watching him drink his morning coffee, noticing the way his dark hair tumbled over his forehead before hed smoothed it back for the day. But she didnt have a choice.
She forced herself to stand still, glancing around the room to keep from staring at him. The heavy forest-green drapes and equally heavy mahogany furniture darkened the room, and the deep burgundy tones of the oriental carpet didnt help to brighten it. The room looked like a period set, in a museum. In fact, it probably was a period piece, but in a private home. She doubted that the furniture had been changed in several generations.
Had Alex had a colorful little boys bedroom once, like Jasons? She smiled at the thought. Shed have to ask Maida. Somehow the idea of Alex with a cowboy or astronaut bedspread made him seem more like a regular person, instead of the blue blood who always stood slightly apart from the crowd.
Alexs cup clattered onto the tray, and he swung toward her. Now, about the days schedule His tone was businesslike, and her image of a little-boy Alex vanished.
Youll need to see to Jason and the meals, of course. I wont be home for lunch, but I expect him to have a balanced meal. Im sure Maidas talked to you about all that, hasnt she?