From where he stood, he could see through the windows of the kindergarten room. Amanda and Josie, chestnut heads together, whispered over their papers, while their aunt Caitlyn sat talking with Sarah Alpert.
He worried about the twins, as he worried about all those under his care who had suffered losses. The twins had each other and their grandmother, and now they had their aunt. Was Caitlyn up to the responsibility shed inherited from her sister?
He studied her, frowning a little. He remembered her well, which was odd in itself since shed been three years behind him in school. Maybe shed stood apart because of the fierce ambition shed shown at an age when most girls were too busy giggling over boys, pop stars and clothes to give much thought to their futures.
Nowwell, Caitlyn Villard had grown into a beauty, if you liked women who were sophisticated, even icy. She was tall and slim, carrying herself as if there wasnt a doubt in her mind as to who she was and where she was headed.
The hair that had once been flaxen was now a rich golden brown, tousled in a way that he suspected was style, not nature. Her eyes hadnt changed, though. They were a warm hazel with glints of gold when the sun caught them.
Well, the important thing wasnt how she looked, although she was certainly worth a second glance from any man. What was crucial was whether she could take care of those children.
Shed probably used that single-minded determination of hers that he remembered to take the big city by storm. From what he could see, apparently shed made it, despite all the obstacles there must have been for a little girl from Texas with no family backing or money.
But now she was faced with even harder barriers in learning how to be a mother to two precious children. Did she have that in her? He didnt know.
His thoughts automatically went inward in prayer. Lord, You know what You have in mind for Amanda and Josie, and for their aunt. If theres a way in which I can help, please use me.
When he looked again, the door was opening and Caitlyn and the twins were coming out.
Amanda spotted him first and let out a squeal. She came running toward him, waving a welcome, with Josie scurrying behind.
He bent to hug them, holding them away from his paint stains and grinning at their enthusiastic greeting. Hey, you two. Yall been having some fun in the kindergarten room with Miss Sarah?
I made a picture and printed my name, Amanda said importantly. And I said my numbers, too.
How about you, sugar? He tugged gently at a strand of Josies hair. Josie always had to be coaxed a little. Did you print your name, too?
She nodded. I printed Josie, she said. Not Josephine.
Girls. Caitlyn had reached them by now, and she clearly didnt know what to make of this. What are you doing?
He smiled at her. The twins and I are old friends. He caught Amandas hand as she reached for the paint can. Thats wet, Amanda.
Amanda pouted for a fraction of a second before turning to her aunt. We love Chaplain Steve, she said. Hes our friend.
Chaplain Steve? Caitlyns voice accented the title, and annoyance danced in her eyes. Are you really a minister?
He shrugged. Guilty.
You knew I thought you were a painter. Her lips tightened.
Obviously Caitlyn didnt like being fooled. Sorry. Truth to tell, he felt a little embarrassed that he hadnt been up front with her. I did know what you were thinking, but you looked so disapproving I couldnt resist teasing you just a mite.
Faint color came up on her cheeks. I wasnt disapproving. Its nothing to me what you do.
Come on, now, he said. Tell me you werent thinking that Id failed to live up to my potential, like Mrs. Clemente used to say in trigonometry class.
Josie tugged at his sleeve. What does potential mean? She said the word carefully.
It means doing everything that youre able to do, Steve answered.
Oh. She seemed to be storing the definition away for possible future use.
As I recall, your father was a chaplain, wasnt he? Caitlyn had herself in hand now, and she asked the question with just the right degree of polite interest.
Thats right. I guess I could have been assigned most anyplace, but I requested Fort Bonnell, and here I am. Ive taken over the Fort Bonnell Christian Chapel, but I had to redecorate, since Daddy took all his fishing pictures with him when he and Mama retired to Wyoming.
And you know the twins how? Her voice expressed doubt.
Theyre part of my job, as it happens, ministering to those of our Fort Bonnell community whove suffered losses.
He managed to keep his mind from straying to his own loss. Not that these two adorable ladies arent more than just a job to me.
I see. Her face had stiffened at the reminder of Carolyn and Dean, and he felt a pang of remorse for teasing her as he had. This couldnt be easy for her.
Im sorry for your loss. It must be rough.
Yes. She clipped off the word, as if reluctant to accept sympathy. Well She managed a smile and extended her hand. It was nice to see you again, Steve.
He took her hand solemnly, a little amused. Same here. But its a small town, Caitlyn. Im sure Ill see you again soon.
Her smile was stiff. Come on, girls. Its time to go home.
Dont want to. Amanda pouted, looking dangerously near to stamping her feet. I want to stay with Chaplain Steve.
We have to go. Caitlyn held out her hand.
No. Now Amanda did stamp her foot. I dont want to.
Josie took a step closer to him, clearly not knowing what to do at this open mutiny, any more than her aunt did. Caitlyns expression said only too clearly that she wasnt prepared to cope with this.
He knelt next to Amanda, putting one arm reassuringly around Josie. Im afraid you cant stay with me, Amanda, because I have to go to a meeting. And Ill bet your grandmother is waiting to hear all about how you did at school, dont you think?
Amanda pouted a moment longer, as if reluctant to give up her grudge. Then she spun around, holding her picture up. Im going to show Grammy my painting. Shell put it on the refrigerator.
Mine, too, Josie said. Mine, too.
Shell put mine up first, Amanda said, and darted toward the car.
Mine, mine, Josie shrieked, and ran after her sister.
Caitlyn seemed frozen to the spot for another instant. Then she hurried after them without a backward glance for him.
Steve watched them go, frowning a little. Those children were hurting, and he hurt for them. They needed so much. Was Caitlyn going to be able to provide that?
Or had Carolyn Mayhew made the mistake of her life when she named her sister as their guardian?
Chapter Two
Caitlyn knelt beside the bathtub, wondering how two five-year-olds in a tub could so resemble a pondful of frogs.
Amanda bounced up and down on her bottom, sending a wave of soapy water sloshing toward her sister. Josies squeal echoed from the tile tub surround, and she scrambled backward.
Easy, Amanda. She caught each twin by a slippery arm. Dont fall back against the spigot. That would hurt your head.
Easy, Amanda. She caught each twin by a slippery arm. Dont fall back against the spigot. That would hurt your head.
I wont. Amanda bounced again. This time the water splashed Caitlyns sleeve to her shoulder.
Hey! Smiling in spite of herself, she splashed Amanda back. No fair. Im still dressed, not like you. She tickled a bare dimpled elbow, eliciting a giggle from Amanda.
I love my bath. That might be the first thing Josie had volunteered since Caitlyn had been here. Usually she waited for a question before speaking, or echoed what her twin had said.
What do you like about it? Caitlyn put a plastic doll into a red boat and zoomed it toward her small, shy niece.
Josie managed a hint of a smile. Giving my dolls ventures. They like that.
Good idea. She let Josie have the boat. You give your doll an adventure with the boat, while I wash Amandas hair.
Josie nodded, smiling, but Amandas face puckered up at the suggestion. What now? Was it ever possible to get both of them happy at the same time?
I dont want my hair washed. Amanda pouted. Youll get soap in my eyes.
No, I wont. Although now that she considered it, she wasnt sure how you managed to shampoo a wiggly child without disaster. Tell you what. You show me how Grammy does it, and Ill do exactly what you say. You be the director, okay?
Amanda considered that for a moment, and then she nodded. But you do zactly like I say.
It was a small triumph, but shed take it. As she shampooed and rinsed, carefully following directions, her thoughts drifted back to the afternoon. Odd, running into Steve Windham like that.
His idea of humor had been more than a little annoying. On the other hand, his concern for the girls had been obvious. And shed taken note of the way hed so easily averted Amandas tantrum by focusing her on the future instead. Shed remember that technique for the next time Amanda rebelled. And there probably would be a next time. Amanda, like her mother, seemed born to test the boundaries.
Maybe Steve had kids of his own. The thought startled her. It was certainly possible, although he hadnt been wearing a wedding ring. And exactly why shed taken note of that, she wasnt sure.
With one little girl shampooed and one to go, she turned her attention to Josie, who submitted without argument to her shampoo. In a few minutes she was wrapping two wiggling bodies in one large towel.
Oh my goodness, Ive got an armful of eels, she declared, rubbing wet curls. Thats what Grammy used to say when she dried us.
She says that to us, too, Amanda said. Now pajamas, and then well tell you just what you hafta do to put us to bed.
She nodded, spraying Josies shoulder-length hair with conditioner before attempting to get a comb through it. This was her first attempt at getting the girls to bed on her own, and she needed all the help she could get.
Finally they were into pajamas and snuggled one on each side of her in their pink-and-white bedroom for a story. She held them close, a little surprised by the strength of affection that swept through her.
If anyone had asked, a few weeks ago, if she loved her nieces, shed have said yes, but it would have been an abstract emotion. Shed loved them but she hadnt known them. Now all that was changed.
The Princess and the Pea, she read. I remember this story. Lets see if its changed any since I was a little girl.
Amanda giggled. Stories dont change, Auntie Caitlyn. We read one book and then one Bible story from our Bible Storybook that you gave us for Christmas, and then we say prayers.
She opened her mouth to say she hadnt given them a storybook for Christmas, and then shut it again. Shed taken the easy way out and sent a check, and someone, probably Carolyn, had taken the time to buy and wrap presents and put her name on them.
Amandas innocent assumption made her feelwell, thoughtless, at the least. Surely she could have taken the time to find out what they wanted and buy the gifts on her own.
That faint uneasiness lingered through the stories and prayers. Caitlyn tucked matching pink quilts around them and kissed their rosy cheeks.
Auntie Caitlyn? Amanda was frowning. Had she gotten some part of the routine wrong?
What is it, sweetie? She smoothed still-damp hair back from Amandas face.
Are Mommy and Daddy happy in Heaven?
Whatever shed expected, it hadnt been that. A theological question was out of her realm. She wasnt the person to ask. Chaplain Steve, hed do a better job of this.
Well, I think so. Have you talked to Grammy about it?
She nodded. She says God takes care of them in Heaven, so they must be happy.
Well, Grammy must know, she said, grateful to have squeaked through that tricky spot.
But how can they be? Tears shone in her eyes. How can they be happy without us?
She was totally out of her depth now, and her throat was so tight she couldnt have gotten an answer out even if shed been able to think of one.
Fortunately her mother was there, coming quickly into the room to bend over the bed. She must have been waiting in the hall, giving Caitlyn a chance to finish the bedtime routine.
Of course they miss you, darling. Mamas voice was soft. And that might make them sad sometimes. But they know youre happy and that were taking care of you, so that makes them happy, too. You see?
Amanda nodded slowly. Caitlyn suspected the little girl wasnt entirely satisfied, but at least she wasnt asking any other questions that Caitlyn couldnt answer.
Hugs and kisses all around, and then she and her mother were out in the hall, leaving the door open just a crack. Not too much chatter, now, Mama called as they started down the hall. You had a big day today.
Thanks for coming in when you did, Mama. She put her arm around her mothers waist. I didnt know how to handle that.
Her mother gave her a gentle squeeze. Youll learn by experience. Thats the only way anyone ever learns to be a parent.
Something in her rebelled at that. She wasnt a parent, and she didnt intend to be here long enough to learn. It was on the tip of her tongue to say that, but she closed her lips on the words.
Her mother looked tired, too tired for the sixty-five Caitlyn knew she was. Grief, she supposed, combined with the stress of caring for two lively five-year-olds for the past six months.
Carolyn and Dean shouldnt have expected you to take over when they were deployed, she said. It was too much for you.
Mama shrugged. Its made me realize Im not as young as I used to be, thats for sure. Taking care of two five-year-olds is a Texas-size job. But you do what you have to do. Its not as if they had any other options.
She wanted to say that they should have been responsible enough not to get in that position to begin with, but her mother wouldnt hear anything critical of Carolyn.
Well, maybe her mother wouldnt admit it, but in Caitlyns opinion, Carolyn had been too quick to dump her responsibilities on other people.
Listen, would it be any use if I hired someone to help out a little? With the girls, or the house, or whatever?
Her mother looked surprised. Thats sweet of you, darling, but Ill be okay now that youre here. The two of us can handle things.