Seth needed that kind of competitive response on the job. But what about turning it off when he went home to his little boy?
Seth caught the pitch Ryan sent his way and tossed the ball underhand to Mary Kates oldest. The little girl missed the catch but ran shouting after the ball, chased by her younger brother. The ball disappeared into the thick cluster of fallen leaves under the maple tree in Gabe and Nolies side yard, and they scrambled into the leaves like a pair of puppies.
This might be the last Sunday afternoon picnic of the fall at Nolies Ark, the farm where Gabe and Nolie raised and trained their service animals. The picnics had become a tradition in the few short months since their wedding. Seth hated seeing it come to an end, but the days were getting cooler already.
The expanse of green lawn was studded here and there with beds filled with the bronze and gold of mums. A couple of miniature horses, a goat and a donkey grazed in the fenced pasture, lifting their heads now and then to watch the Flanagan clan at play.
Seth saw Gabe and Nolie come out of the red barn, and Gabe caught his wife close for a quick kiss before they parted, with Nolie heading toward the kitchen and Gabe coming toward him. Watching them was bittersweet.
Would he and Lisa have had that incandescent happiness if shed lived? Or would the unhappiness that had often shadowed his wifes eyes have gotten worse with the years? He would never know.
I see shes still taking pictures. Gabe, reaching him, nodded toward the group under the trees. The kids played like puppies, and Julie knelt, her gold sweatshirt blending with the leaves, snapping away.
Thats why shes here. He glanced at the picnic tables, where his mother and Terry were spreading tablecloths. Shell have to stop long enough to eat, or Mom will be unhappy.
She gave up the camera at the training academy, didnt she? Gabe elbowed him. She surprised you.
Well, I asked her to participate. I just didnt think she would.
He also hadnt thought shed do as well as she had. Hauling hose at a dead run wasnt easy, but shed managed. That deceptively fragile air of hers had thrown him.
You were trying to scare her off. Gabes assessment was blunt, as always. It had never been any good trying to put something over on his big brother. Why?
He shrugged, not even sure himself why he wanted to discourage Julie. I guess I dont like the idea of being put on display in some magazine.
Me, either.
The quiet words made him ashamed. Gabe had more reason than he did to shun the spotlight, but Gabe had conquered his initial frustration with his disability. He even voluntarily went out on speaking engagements with Max, knowing that his actions helped other people with disabilities.
Shes just doing her job. Gabe nodded toward Julie, who had gone over to the tables and was talking to his mother. Give her a break, will you?
I guess youve got a point. Seth bent to pat Maxs head. Maybe I should start cooperating.
Gabe grinned. A lot of guys would be happy to work with someone who looks like Julie. Loosen up.
Ill try.
In fact, hed start trying right now. He crossed the lawn toward the tables, wondering what had drawn a little crowd.
Then he got close enough to see. Julies laptop. She was showing them the digital photos shed taken.
He leaned over his cousin Brendans shoulder to have a look. One photo after another flashed on the small screen like a slide show. Julie leaned back a little, as if to say that she wasnt responsible for how people reacted to her work.
He leaned closer as the pictures shed taken at Davys preschool began to show. They were close-ups, most of them, that cut out the background clutter to catch the little faces. Davy, his face so alight with mischief it seemed hed walk out of the picture, made a mock grab at his fathers uniform patch.
Wow. Julie, these are great.
Wonderful, his mother breathed. Her eyes misted with tears at a photo of his dad leaning against an engine. Something about the image almost seemed to say that the man and the machine were one.
Julie, youre a terrific photographer. Brendan smiled at her. Of course, I guess you already knew that.
Seth looked at Julie to see how she was taking their praise. Her expression grabbed his heart.
She was so obviously both pleased and embarrassed at their words. The woman was such a blend of cool professional expertise and personalwhat? He stopped, at a loss for the right word.
Shyness didnt seem to quite fit. He continued to watch her as Nolie announced that the food was ready and everyone began to hustle, setting plates and bowls on the table.
Julie moved the laptop out of the way, but she didnt seem to know whether she should do anything otherwise. She just hung back, awkward.
He touched her elbow, moving her out of the way of Mary Kate and an enormous platter of fried chicken. Relax, you dont have to help. Youre a guest.
Her smile was grateful, as if hed really done something for her. Id like to do my share, but theyre so well organized that its intimidating.
Believe me, when it comes to getting food on the table, the Flanagans are experts.
Claire, Brendans fiancée, laughed. To say nothing of how expert they are at putting it away. Before I got involved with this crowd, I thought Sunday dinner meant a salad and a piece of broiled chicken.
Brendan pulled her into a hug. You love every minute. Admit it.
Why I havent gained ten pounds since meeting you, Ill never know. Claire gave him a quick kiss and shooed him out of the way. Go help Nolie carry out the coffee urn. You have to do something to earn your meal.
Seth smiled at their interplay. Love. Everyone seemed to be falling in love recently.
But not him. Hed already had his love, and he didnt expect God to send that his way again, but it wasnt fair for Davy to be without a good mother.
That role definitely didnt apply to someone like Julie. But he glanced at her, only to find that Julie was sitting on the ground, intently studying the maple leaf that Davy held out to her.
His sons tiny palms held the leaf carefully, as if he feared hed tear it. He was smiling into Julies face, apparently confident that shed find it equally intriguing.
As for Julie
Julie looked as if shed just been handed the best present of her life.
Shed made a big mistake in all her careful planning, Julie thought, pushing back from the table after the enormous meal was finally finished. She hadnt begun to realize how Lisas child would affect her.
My nephew, shed wanted to say when Davy had entrusted her with the maple leaf hed found. I have as much right to hold you, to love you, as anyone else.
She hadnt said it, of course. For an instant, tears blurred her eyes. She blinked them quickly away. She couldnt let herself begin imagining that shed ever have any right to tell Davy who she was. Shed known that from the start. She just hadnt known how much it would hurt.
See, Julie, see?
Davy ran ahead toward the pasture fence, while she and Seth followed along behind. Seth had suggested his son have a nap after dinner, but Davy had shaken that idea off, insisting that Julie had to see the donkey.
At least, she thought that was what hed said. Davys language was sometimes difficult for her to understand, although the rest of the Flanagans didnt seem to have trouble interpreting it. Even Mary Kates two young children were quick to announce what Davy wanted.
I wish I had that much energy. She watched as the child darted forward, doubled back to check on a dandelions puffball and then ran ahead of them again.
Im telling myself that I cant keep up with him because I ate too much. Seth patted his flat stomach. But it might just be because Im getting too old to keep up with a two-year-old.
Three next week. Thats what he told me when I asked how old he is. Three next week.
Her smile lingered on her lips. It was probably silly to be so affected because a small child had shared his discovery that leaves turned color in the fall, but she couldnt help it. So maybe shed better just concentrate on enjoying this brief span of time with her nephew, instead of mourning that there wouldnt be more.
Actually, it was amazing how relaxed she felt. It could have been that moment of connection with Davy, or the excellent meal or maybe the beautiful surroundings.
Or maybe she was simply happy to be walking across a field with Seth, watching his son romp through the grass.
Seths attitude toward her seemed to have changed, and she wasnt sure why. She just knew that slightly edgy watchfulness of his had eased. He accepted her.
A birthdays pretty special when youre that age. His voice seemed to warm. Will you still be around then? Wed like to have you come to the party, if so.
Ill probably be here another week, at least. She said it carefully, fearful of making a commitment she wouldnt be able to keep. Id love to come to Davys birthday party, if youre sure you want me.
Well, who wouldnt want a professional photographer at a kids birthday party? He caught her hand in his, swinging it lightly. We might actually end up with some pictures we can see, instead of Ryans out-of-focus blobs.
No blobs, I promise. She felt ridiculously lighthearted. The warmth of Seths hand seemed to extend right up her arm.
An outrageous thought flickered tantalizingly through her mind. What if she told him? What if she came right out and told him she was Lisas sister? He seemed to be accepting her. Maybe he could accept that. If Lisa had told him about her family
The thought stopped there. She didnt know what Lisa had told him. She only knew what Lisa had told her.
A spasm of pain gripped her heart. She hadnt heard anything from Lisa after that letter saying she was getting married. She hadnt known about Davy.
She hadnt even known about Lisas death until shed realized Lisa hadnt drawn any funds from the trust she administered for her. That had roused her concern enough to make her hire the private investigator to find her.
See, Julie? Davy danced in front of the pasture fence, waving his arms. See?
I see. She shaded her eyes. I see the donkey and the goat, but what are those other things?
Dont you recognize a horse when you see one, city girl? Laughter filled Seths voice. He leaned against the split-rail fence, propping his elbows on it.
Okay, they do look like horses, but theyre no bigger than Max is.
She leaned against the railing next to him. He moved closer, tilting his head toward her. The sunlight brought out red highlights in his brown hair. Hed folded back the sleeves of the flannel shirt he wore, and the light gilded his skin.
Miniature horse is the correct term, I understand. Nolie has started training them.
If he kept using that soft, laughing tone with her, she was in big trouble. For what? The circus?
Believe it or not, she hopes to use them instead of dogs for people who are blind. She says the breed of horses is intelligent and longer-lived than dogs, and should make good guides.
Seeing-eye horses. Well, I guess thats no more astonishing than anything else Ive seen around here. Nolies Ark, according to the sign.
She wanted to change it when she and Gabe got married, but he wouldnt agree. He says Nolies Ark gave him back his life, and he wont have the place called anything else.
Davy was swinging on the bottom rail of the fence, crooning a song softly to himself as he watched the animals.
I didnt mean to embarrass your brother by mentioning the dog the other day. I didnt know about his disability.
You didnt embarrass him. Hes adjusted to it now. At first Seths face sobered. When it looked as if Gabe couldnt fight fire any more, we didnt know what to do to help him. Then Nolie gave him a reason to go on living.
She shivered in spite of the warmth of the September sun. That could have been you.
She regretted it as soon as the words were out. Hed closed her out before when shed mentioned the dangers of a job like his for a single father.
I guess it could have. He stared absently at the goat, which seemed to be trying to eat its way through the fence. You cant think about results like that on the job or youd be worthless. To fight fire, you need a certain belief inwell, your own invincibility, I guess.
She thought again of the way hed stepped in to put the heavy ladder up, casually confident in his bodys ability to do what was needed. She had to admit, that air of confidence was very compelling.
But you have a son. She couldnt hold the words back. If something happened to you
He shrugged, pressing his arm against hers and sending another wave of warmth flooding her. Every firefighter faces that. In my case, Im a single father, but I do have family. He nodded toward the picnic tables, smiling. Lots and lots of family. If something happened to me, theyd take over.
And your wife? It took an effort to keep her tone casual. Would her family help out?
For an instant he didnt move, didnt answer. Her question hung there, like the bumblebee that was poised over a flower at her feet.
No. His tone brought her gaze to his face, and what she saw there chilled her. My wife had a mother who left her, a father who controlled her every move and a sister who deserted her. She didnt want to have anything to do with her family. And neither do I.
His words were totally implacable. All the friendly laughter had been wiped from his face. He meant what he said.
So she couldnt tell him the truth. Ever.
Chapter Four
Julie was still struggling with Seths words when she arrived at the firehouse on Monday. Shed gone over and over it, and she couldnt come to any other conclusion. If Seth knew who she was, hed hate her.
My wife hada sister who deserted her. Was that really how Lisa had seen Julies actions? Pain clutched at her heart. Was it?
She took a deep, steadying breath and willed the pain away, trying to regain her detachment. Lisa was gone, and she couldnt change anything shed done or neglected to do. Shed concluded a long time ago that theyd both just done what they thought was necessary to survive emotionally.
For her, that meant keeping the shield of her detachment in place. Shed finally figured out how to do that with her father, so that she could see him every month or two, like a dutiful daughter, and still come away whole.