Still entertaining. Five stars, he said through laughter. Id love to see you again. Me and you. What does your kitchen look like?
Uh. Its a nice kitchen. I like to cook well enough. I decided to take the space from a third bedroom and make the kitchen and the master bigger. Gas stove.
He nodded and she felt a little relieved that shed passed a test of some sort.
Are you free tomorrow night? Id like to make you dinner and catch up on the last seventeen years.
He just asked her out. She hadnt imagined the chemistry between them. This day was pretty fucking great so far.
Totally free. Ill be home by six and I can handle the dessert.
Ill be there by six-thirty with everything I need.
A wave of heat washed through her. There was no misunderstanding the way his voice had that husky undertone. That was perhapshopefullyan Ill be putting my mouth on you at some point during this date tone and she liked it. It left her drunk with delight.
She gave him her address as she found a space to slide into across the street from his building. Okay. So. Um. Ill see you tomorrow night then.
He unbuckled himself, but before he got out, he leaned close and surprised her when he laid a kiss on her lips.
Just a casual kiss. Quick but not so fast he didnt slowly drag his teeth over her bottom lip as he pulled back.
See you then.
Still tasting him, she watched as he jogged across the street, and then made his way into the building.
Cora wasnt entirely sure what she was getting herself into, but she liked it.
CHAPTER THREE
In a flurry of wind a red leaf skitters
Dances on the air
As summer dies
And autumn puts on her fiery crown.
WHY AM I not surprised? Cora asked.
Rachel and Maybe stood on her porch with a pink-and-white box holding her favorite doughnuts and bearing big grins as well as coffee.
She opened up. Get in here before you let out all the warm air.
Youre not surprised because were predictable and nosy. And because we come bearing coffee and doughnuts. Rachel kissed Coras cheek before she put her things down and hung her coat in the front closet.
We were sort of bummed to find out youre alone this morning, Maybe told her as she popped the lid off the doughnut box and carried it, along with her coffee, to the living room.
Cora snorted. Dont you two have to be at work or something?
My first appointment isnt until one, Rachel said as she chose a chocolate-glazed.
Im sleeping with my boss, Maybe told her. Makes it easier to take time off when I want to. So whats the deal with you and sexy chef guy? I know I wasnt imagining it. Especially when he just about shoved Wren out of the way when he got the chance to walk you to your car.
Hes making me dinner tonight. Cora sipped her coffee.
Rachel grabbed one of the throw blankets Cora kept everywhere and tucked it around herself before saying, I Googled him this morning after Vic left for work. He pretended like he didnt know I was going to. We like to pretend Im nicer than I really am. Its why weve stayed together for two years. Rachel continued after another bite of her doughnut, But you know Beaus had quite the colorful life. I mean. Wow. Also the modeling shots alone might have made me pregnant.
Cora nearly choked on her coffee as she laughed. Now imagine seeing that in person when you were sixteen.
Dude, Im absolutely convinced Id have had no idea what to do with a guy like him when I was sixteen. All the tattoos and the piercings. Super hot.
We saw the tasteful nudes. Hes quite gifted. And a natural redhead. Maybe toasted Cora by holding her doughnut aloft a moment.
Youre going to have to Heimlich me if you make me laugh like this while Im eating, Cora said between fits of giggles. I missed you both. A lot.
We missed you too. When youre done telling us about Beau, lets talk about you not leaving for so long again. Maybe reached out to squeeze Coras leg a moment.
Hes got a complicated backstory, to say the least. Its not every day you meet someone who was raised in and later escaped from a cult. Still, theres something, I dont know, genuine about him. Hes... Cora raised her hands, not finding the right words for how she felt. Aside from being gorgeous, hes interesting. It was easy being with him last night at Gregori and Wrens. And then after. He kissed me. Just a fast thing. Not a peck. No tongue, but he gave me some teeth when he broke the kiss. And he used the sex voice on me. It worked. I mean. Every part of me heard it, like a tuning fork.
Zing. Rachel nodded her head and Maybe echoed the action. You have zing. I have zing with Vic. Maybes got it with Alexsei. Zing is good if it doesnt, you know, cloud your head because your other parts are too dazed. If you know what I mean.
Cora batted her lashes and leaned toward her friend. No. What do you mean?
Rachel started to reply before narrowing her gaze and flipping Cora off.
Laughing, Cora said, Its been a while since Ive been dazed with zing. Its not underrated. She hadnt had that sort of delicious sexual chemistry with someone in years and she hadnt realized until then how much shed missed it.
Seems to me your priorities are in the right order, Maybe told her. Get some.
Rachel rolled her eyes before adding, He could get it, no lie. I mean, if I wasnt head over heels in love with Vic. Literally over the weekend. I need to start stretching before sex.
Cora and Maybe both burst into giggles. This too, sisterhood, was a sensation shed missed. The ability to be totally who she wasbumps and scars and flaws aplentywith these two women in her living room filled her with happiness. Made her more confident.
Now Im going to have that in my brain every time I see him. Which is often, in case you havent noticed, Maybe managed to say.
Rachel just shrugged. So youre going to let Beau get all up in your space. I also found out some details about his personal life. Hes got a reputation. Or maybe had? Anyway, he likes the ladies. And a few gentlemen too. But not for very long. He used to be a favorite on all the gossip sites. Partied. A lot. But you know, some of those pictures from back in the day were with Gregori and we know hes changed. Hes had the same core group of friends for years. Gregori and Ian Brewster, the restaurateur friend he mentioned, both live here in Seattle. Another lives somewhere in Europe. That shows something good about him, I think. Hes loyal once he, uh, commits.
Cora clapped her hands over her ears for a moment, blushing hard. She shouldnt be gossiping about him! Oh my god. I should have stopped you sooner but lets be honest, I wanted to hear it. She waved a hand, took a bite of her doughnut and thought awhile before she spoke again. I knew about most of it. Ive followed his career here and there over the years. Im going to let him make me dinner. Well catch up and havehopefullygreat conversation, and then if theres anything elsesmooching, groping, what have youthats all good. At some point hell take his new recipes and that chiseled jaw away from Seattle. So why not enjoy what I can now? Its not like I want him to move in or be my boyfriend or whatever. I just want some fun and to hang out with an old friend. Hopefully have excellent sex. Also Id like a dog, which isnt really about sexing up Beau, but more of a life goal thing. Not a big one because my little yard isnt really good for a big dog. Small and smart and not yappy. I dont like yappy dogs and the neighbors would complain.
This conversation is moving at the speed of light. Im here for it. And another doughnut. We need to start our walks again so I can have more than one doughnut without guilt, Maybe said, and then started to snicker. Just kidding. I love having more than one doughnut and feel zero guilt about that. But I do love our walks too.
Rachel said, Okay, now that youve told us about your romantic life, why dont you tell us the rest. Seeing you so happy about this Beau thing has underlined for me Ive seen that Cora less and less over the last eighteen months or so. Youve sounded less and less happy, more and more tired. Dont you think its time to seriously rethink your job situation?
They knew her so well. She hadnt even really had to say anything.
I love to travel. A few weeks away is one thing, but three months and more? Too much. And, to be totally honest? Its a lot harder on my mother than it used to be. But she wont admit it and she doesnt have an off switch. So things go left and I have to clean up the mess. Then she gets mad at me because shes not forty anymore. More often than not what I do is make excuses for some terrible thing shes done to make someone cry and keeping her out of jail or worse. It makes me tired. And it wasnt what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. Being her mothers cleanup person wasnt a career she was interested in.
Fair enough. Shes a big personality. But youre not her keeper. Maybe used what was left of her doughnut to stab Coras way and underline the point.
Ha! I totally am her keeper. Its turned into a family joke. Im the Walda whisperer, the keeper of the creative. Its fucking exhausting and I dont think it serves her. Not who she is now. Her career is different. The world is different. Im different. Cora shrugged. Anyway, I used to be content wandering the globe whenever and wherever she needed me. It was wonderful while it was wonderful. Ive learned a lot. Ive had a relationship with my mom that is totally unique and good. But its also... Im the mom most of the time.
I think its absolutely fair that you want to reevaluate the situation now. Yes, shes getting older, more frail. Especially in the last two or three years. Rachel paused, looked Cora square on. Even if none of those things were true its still okay. Youre an adult. You get to make choices based on what you want. You get that, right? You want to build a life thatll take you into your future. You want to shift gears, sink roots and make a life that entails a different sort of work, Rachel said. Do it.
It should be all right for a while. Shes done, except for promotion, which wont start for three or four months. And even then it shouldnt take her too far from home. I should encourage that. Cora grabbed her notebook and jotted a note down to do more radio and podcast interviews and to have them done in a local recording studio instead of traveling.
Rachel looked pointedly at the notebook before focusing on Cora again. Youre still taking a few weeks off though, right?
Well. I wont be traveling anywhere nonrecreational. In fact, I was thinking of leaf peeping and could probably include some birding. Perhaps cap it off with a stop at Samish Cheese? Something for everyone. Cora grinned at them.
Im in, Maybe said.
Me too, Rachel said. Now, getting back to the question, which was about you taking a few weeks off.
Yes I am. From my mother. But Ill be at the gallery. Theres a new installation coming up so I want to be there or who knows what theyll do?
So now you can finally quit being the Walda-keeper and shift to the gallery full-time. But you can still take a week or so. I mean, what did they do for the last three months without you there? Maybe asked.
The gallery was her baby. Sort of. Cora had spent a lot of time and effort in creating a space that had a voice. A unique voice in a very rich local art scene. Call me fourteen times a day? Shed pretty much done the job over the phone and online anyway. But that? Thatd felt like it should have. Shed wanted to be involved. It fed her creative hunger in a way few things did.
Okay then, Rachel said. Over the last several years youve mentioned here and there that you want to run the gallery full-time. Why not finally make that shift? Then someone else can handle your mom. Rachels severe look had Coras denials dying in her chest. Its unfair that theyd expect you to keep on like this indefinitely. Oh sure, they all thank you for doing itand they shouldbut none of them has stepped up to help you out. Not on this. Plenty of people can be your moms personal assistant/manager/keeper. For the right kind of money, Rachel added at Coras expression. Youre irreplaceable because no one will be as perfect as you. Thats a given. But Waldas not the only diva in the world. We can help you find the right solution.
Maybe leaned over to squeeze Cora quickly. You want to defend your family. But I promise you we arent attacking them. Were your best friends and it is our god-given right to take your side. And to tell you the truth.
So lets skip the part where you tell yourself youre selfish for wanting something for yourself. Who but you knows Walda works better when lightbulbs are this or that wattage? Or that she likes nutmeg in her coffee? And so what if you do? Shes a grown woman, not a toddler. She can express her wishes to someone else. Its not like shes shy, Rachel said, deadpan.
No, Walda wasnt shy. But beneath all the feathers and bright colors and whatever else she did, her mother wanted to be loved.
Of course Cora felt selfish. And guilty.
Its on the list of things Im thinking about, Cora told them both. Thank you for caring about me enough to make me face this stuff. But Im done with facing it for now. Lets talk about something else. Tell me whats been happening. How was your show last weekend? she asked Maybe, who played drums in a punk rock band.
As Maybe excitedly filled her in, Cora leaned back, tucked herself under a blanket of her own and let being with her friends wash over her.
CHAPTER FOUR
That time you walked in
And the universe shifted...
Ive been falling ever since.
OF ALL THE things from his childhood, Beau had come to terms with the way hed been raised when it came to a usual lack of nervousness. Hed been a spokesperson, a face for Road to Glory from a very young age, which had given him a natural sense of ambition and ability. A gift of relating to people.
But as he wrestled the box with all the ingredients for dinner out of his trunk, he realized the butterflies in his belly were all about her.
It was fucking delicious.
He didnt even have to look at his phone for the number of her town house because once he entered the circular courtyard he knew immediately which porch was hers. It just had the most life around it. An overflowing planter on either side of the steps framed them artfully.
And on each step, words had been painted.
I am the light of a thousand stars
I am cosmic dust made human.
As he got to the top step, he caught sight of her through her front window. She stretched up to light candles dotted across a mantelpiece. He couldnt see anything but the grace in the movement, lost his other senses for a bit as his heartbeat seemed to thunder in time with the blood pounding in his cock.