Yes, his mother and Felicity Farnsworth had outdone themselves, he thought as he looked around him. In addition to the reception area, they had managed to turn the garden of his parents estate into a small wedding chapel. Everywhere he looked there were peach and white roses and lilies. Vases and urns of the blossoms had been placed on the altar, on the piano, at the entrance to the gardens. A white runner formed an aisle between the three dozen chairs arranged in rows on either side. White ribbons with more roses and lilies anchored posts at the end of each row. From where he was standing, it looked as if every seat was filled. He shifted his gaze back to the altar where the minister stood waiting to make him and Lily man and wife.
He was nervous, Jack admitted to himself. Except for that one time years ago, he hadnt given much thought to marriage. Not that hed ruled it out. He hadnt. He liked women. He liked everything about themthe way they looked, the way they smelled, the way they were strong and soft at the same time, the way they were different from men. He enjoyed women. And they seemed to enjoy him. He just hadnt expected that when he decided to marry hed find himself standing here wondering whether his bride was going to be a no-show.
When he had suggested he and Lily marry, it had seemed so simple. They had a baby on the way, a child that needed both parents. But now that the day was finally here, he couldnt help worrying that he had pushed Lily too hard. Oh, hed known she had reservations and he didnt blame her. Marriage was a big undertaking and neither of them had had much time to prepare for it. But he was positive that marrying was the right thing for them to do. Hed meant what hed told Lily. He wanted to be a real father in every way and that meant being a full-time father, not shuffling their child back and forth between its parents. No, he wanted his baby to have what he and his sisters had hada loving home with both parents. And although the stigma that society had once imposed upon a child born outside of marriage no longer applied, he didnt want his child or Lily ever to encounter cruelty from the small-minded individuals who would see the babys birth as a sin. He wanted to protect the baby and Lily and the best way to do that was through marriage.
But he couldnt shake the feeling she was going to bolt. He knew she was having second thoughtsprobably third and fourth thoughtsabout going through with the wedding. It hadnt taken a giant leap to recognize the signs. She had avoided him at every turn during the past week. Just getting her to look over the documents hed had drawn up providing her and their baby each with a trust fund had taken some major arm-twisting. It had also bothered him that she had insisted on keeping her apartment until the lease ran out despite his offer to buy out the lease. He hadnt pushed it because he was already worried about the stress she was under and didnt want to do anything that would endanger her health or the babys. Maybe once the wedding was over and they were living under the same roof, she would grow more comfortable with him and the idea of them being married, he told himself.
I heard Courtney moved back from New York, Scott remarked.
Dragging his attention to his friend, Jack said, Yeah. She came home a couple of weeks ago.
She going to stay?
I dont know. Jack looked over at Scott. Tall like him, Scott was the opposite of him in appearance. Where his own hair was dark and his eyes blue, Scott was blond and his eyes were brown. Like him, Scott had a real appreciation of women, had found himself in more than one womans marital sights and had become a master at escaping any serious commitment. Hed been a fixture at the Cartwright house when theyd been growing up and had shared in Jacks own annoyance with his two younger sisters. Jack hadnt given much thought to his baby sisters return home and hadnt realized Scott had either. So he asked, What makes you ask?
No reason, Scott said and looked away.
They fell silent and Jacks thoughts returned once more to Lily. He looked at his watch again. As the minutes ticked by, he grew more and more anxious. You got the ring? he asked Scott.
Scott patted his pocket. Right here. He paused. Ive never seen you so nervous before. You sure about this, Jack?
Im sure, he told his friend, because he knew he was doing what was best for everyone. Now all they needed was the bride.
When the violinist began playing, Jack turned and looked at the end of the aisle where his sister Courtney stood under the arbor of flowers. Dressed in a peach-colored dress and holding a small bouquet of peach roses and lilies, she started down the aisle with a smile on her face. When Courtney was about midway down the aisle, his sister Elizabeth stepped under the arbor. Since Lily hadnt been able to think of anyone to ask to be her maid of honor, his youngest sister had volunteered herself for the job. Lily, apparently not wanting Elizabeth to feel left out, had suggested both of his sisters serve as attendants. It was a decision that had pleased both his sisters and his motherand him because he wanted Lily to feel that she was truly a part of his family now. Once his sisters had reached the altar and taken their places, the first notes of the wedding march rang out.
Both anxious and excited, Jack turned his gaze once more to the entrance at the rear of the gardens. This is it, he told himself as he waited for Lily to appear beneath the flower arbor and walk down the aisle to become his wife. Several seconds went by, but there was no Lily. The first notes of the bridal march were played again. And still there was no Lily.
Jack tensed, his first thought that hed been right to worry. Hed pushed her too hard, and, just as hed feared, shed decided not to go through with the wedding. His second thought was that something had happened to her, that maybe shed slipped on the stone floor inside the house and was hurt. It was that last thought, imagining Lily hurt, that had him starting to leave the altar to find her.
Hang on, Scott whispered, gripping his arm before he could go. He motioned for him to look at the rear of the guest seats where Felicity was signaling to him to give her a minute. The blonde disappeared, evidently going through the side door of the house to where Lily was supposed to be waiting.
Jack could hear the murmurs among the guests, the shifting in their seats, and he saw the anxious look on his mothers face. Damn it. They just should have eloped, he reasoned. If they had, Lily wouldnt have had time to think about changing her mind.
And if she has changed her mind? What are you going to do?
He was going to change it back, he told himself. He couldnt afford not to. Looking at his watch, he decided to give Felicity five minutes and then he was going to do just that.
Relax, Scott told him. She probably broke a nail or got a run in her stocking. You know how women are about those things.
He did know how women were. A broken nail or a run in a stocking would have sent his mother and his sister Courtney and probably half the women hed dated into a frenzy. But not Lily. Lily was not most women. Hed sensed that the night of the ball. It was one of the reasons, he knew, that hed given a woman whose name he didnt know the key to his hotel room. It was also the reason that he hadnt been able to get her out of his mind since that night.
Granted, the only reason he had suggested they get married was because she was pregnant with his child. Hed never been a man to shirk responsibility. He had no intention of doing so now. Lily and the baby were his responsibility now. But if he was going to be completely honest with himself he didnt find the idea unappealing. There had been something special between them that night at the ballsomething that went beyond the good sex. Whatever that something was, it would be enough to start with because he didnt intend to lose her again.
He was going to change it back, he told himself. He couldnt afford not to. Looking at his watch, he decided to give Felicity five minutes and then he was going to do just that.
Relax, Scott told him. She probably broke a nail or got a run in her stocking. You know how women are about those things.
He did know how women were. A broken nail or a run in a stocking would have sent his mother and his sister Courtney and probably half the women hed dated into a frenzy. But not Lily. Lily was not most women. Hed sensed that the night of the ball. It was one of the reasons, he knew, that hed given a woman whose name he didnt know the key to his hotel room. It was also the reason that he hadnt been able to get her out of his mind since that night.
Granted, the only reason he had suggested they get married was because she was pregnant with his child. Hed never been a man to shirk responsibility. He had no intention of doing so now. Lily and the baby were his responsibility now. But if he was going to be completely honest with himself he didnt find the idea unappealing. There had been something special between them that night at the ballsomething that went beyond the good sex. Whatever that something was, it would be enough to start with because he didnt intend to lose her again.
She couldnt go through with it, Lily told herself as she stood in front of the vanity in the powder room of the Cartwright mansion. She stared at the woman in the mirror. That woman looked like a real bride. The wedding gown was beautiful. So were the shoes. Her hair had been swept up into an elegant French twist with wisps arranged around her face. Courtney had performed miracles with the paints and polishes and brushes, making Lilys skin look creamy, her eyes bright and her cheekbones those of a model. She touched the strand of pearls with the diamond clasp at her throat and noted the matching earrings. Both were wedding gifts from Jack. For my bride, hed told her when hed given them to her the previous evening.
Wedding gifts for a bride. Even the bouquet of white roses and lilies looked as if they belonged to a bride. No question about it. The woman looking back at her in the mirror certainly looked like a real, honest-to-goodness bride.
Only she wasnt a real bride. She was a fake.
And she absolutely, positively couldnt go through with the wedding.
When Jack had suggested that they get married, it had all seemed to make sense. After all, he was the babys father and she had wanted her baby to have a real home with two parents. It had also made sense when hed told her that shuffling the child between the two of them wouldnt work. Shed seen firsthand how tough shuffling between parents could be on a child. She hadnt wanted that for her baby. And as Jack Cartwrights wife, she could be assured that her child would have the loving home she had never had.
Only now that the day was here, she simply could not go through with it. She didnt love Jack Cartwright and he didnt love her. And when two people got married it should be because they loved one another, not because their hormones had run amok one night and resulted in a pregnancy. While she understood Jack feeling he needed to take responsibility, he didnt need to marry her to do it. The man deserved a happy life with someone he loved. So did she. They could still love their baby, be good parents and provide a stable, loving home without making such a colossal mistake. Because going through with this marriage would be just that, she reasoneda colossal mistake.
The first notes of the bridal march started and panic began to swim in her blood. She had to get out of here. Maybe she could slip out the powder room, make it out the front door and hightail it to the main road and try to find a taxi. Jack would understand. Shoot, hed probably be relieved, she told herself as she turned and moved as quickly as she could with a ten-pound ball around her middle. She had almost reached the door when it burst open and in flew Felicity.
Lily, didnt you hear your cue?
Yes, I did. Felicity, I
Wheres your bouquet? she demanded and swept her gaze over the room to the dressing table. She scooped it up, stuck it in Lilys hands. After fussing with her hair for a moment, Felicity stepped back. You look gorgeous. And wait until you see your groom. The man should live in a tux.
Felicity
Listen, theres your cue again, Felicity told her.
Lilys hands began to shake, but evidently Felicity didnt notice that the roses and lilies were trembling like the leaves on an aspen in a windstorm. I dont think I can do this.
Sure you can, Felicity insisted and straightened the skirt of her gown. She gave her a quick hug and a smile. Just take a deep breath and think of Jack. And before she could say another word, Felicity flew out the door as quickly as she had blown in.
The first notes of the bridal march started for the third time and Lily couldnt move. She stood frozen in the powder room and wished she was Samantha from the old Bewitched TV show so she could wiggle her nose and disappear. She was still standing there wondering if she was going to be sick when the door to the powder room opened again. Only this time it was Jack who came in.
Her first crazy thought was that Felicity had been right. The man really should live in a tux. The black jacket made his shoulders look broad, his height towering. His black hair was thick, his blue eyes as dark as steel. His jawline was strong, his mouth almost elegant. There was something solid and commanding and, at the same time, dangerous about himthe very things that had drawn her to him that night at the ball.
I wasnt sure if you remembered to check your calendar this morning, he said, his voice casual. But according to mine, were supposed to be getting married right about now.
I didnt forget, Lily told him. Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him and into his eyes. Im sorry, Jack. I know how much trouble you and your family have gone to, but I cant go through with it. I just cant.
I see.
I see?
It wasnt the response she had expected. In truth, she had expected him to be angry. After all, the man had gone to a great deal of trouble and expense to arrange the wedding. He had at least three dozen family members and friends sitting outside waiting to see him take her as his bride. Hed even given her his grandmothers ring. No question about it, Jack Cartwright had every right to be downright furious with her. Only instead of being angry, he took the bridal bouquet she was clutching in her still unsteady hands and placed it on the dressing table. Then he took her by the hand and led her to the bench by the wall.
Why dont we sit down a minute?
She did as he suggested and said, Im not going to change my mind, Jack. Im sorry, but I simply cant go through with it. I cant marry you.
All right, he told her. He sat down beside her, took her other hand and held it in his. So is there any particular reason you dont want to marry me? he asked calmly. And before she could find her voice, he continued, Is it my nose? I broke it playing football in college and it never did heal quite right. Maybe you dont want to be married to a man with an ugly nose.
Theres nothing wrong with your nose. Its beautiful.
The hair then. You probably noticed that Im starting to get a few gray hairs right around the temples. I know some women find that a turn-off