Her heart squeezed into a painful knot. Even now?
Maybe especially now. He eased his hand from her grasp. She made herself let go as he took a step past her, back toward the center of the room. Maybe its better were more like strangers to each other these days. You can be objective about what I should do next.
She couldnt be objective about him, but she didnt bother saying so. She needed to hear where hed been and what hed been doing for the past seven months.
Look, why dont you sit down in front of the fire? You still look cold. She picked up the knit throw blanket draped over the back of the sofa and handed it to him. Get warm. Im going to heat you up a bowl of soup. You want a sandwich, too?
He took the blanket but shook his head. I didnt come here for you to take care of me. A look of frustration creased his face.
Then why did you come here? she asked softly when he didnt continue.
I needed to see you. The words seemed to escape his mouth against his will. The look of consternation in his green eyes might have been comical under other circumstances.
But Olivia couldnt laugh. She knew exactly what that raw ache of need felt like. She knew what it was like to wake in the middle of the night and feel compelled to reach out for someone who was no longer there beside her. For almost two years, she and Landry had been a unit. Inseparable.
She should have known it would never last. Forever was the exception in most relationships, not the rule. And with her family history, she should never have allowed herself to think she might be able to beat the odds.
I wish youd wanted to see me two years ago when I tried to reach you.
Landry looked down, one hand circling his other wrist as if to soothe the scars that formed a circle there. I should have listened to you when you tried to explain.
You were too angry.
I felt betrayed.
Her heart ached at the pain in his voice, but she didnt let herself fall into that morass again. Shed spent too much time blaming herself for Landrys anger when there had been nothing else she could do but exactly what shed done. Im sorry you felt betrayed. But short of lying about what I remembered, I couldnt help you.
His gaze snapped up. I know. I expected too much.
You expected me to lie?
He shook his head. I expected you to believe me, without question. I thought you would know I was telling the truth, even if you didnt remember.
She stared back at him, guilt niggling at the back of her mind. I do believe that you remember hearing an order to go into the warehouse instead of holding our position. But thats not what you were asking me to say.
He let out a gusty sigh. I dont know that I was really asking anything of you except your trust and belief in me. But you never could really give me that, could you? Not wholeheartedly.
Guilt throbbed even harder, settling in the center of her chest. You know blind trust is a problem for me. You knew that going in. She looked up at him. I warned you, Landry. And you said you could deal with it.
Because I thought you could. He looked away from her, his gaze angling toward the window beside the fireplace. After a second she followed his gaze and saw that the snowfall was starting to reach blizzard proportion, whiting out everything around the cabin.
The power probably wont hold out much longer, she warned him, moving toward the hall. If you want something hot for dinner, we should heat it up while we still have electricity.
He followed her down the short hallway to the kitchen at the back of the cabin. I dont want to put you out.
Its soup from a can. Ill heat it in the microwave. Youre not putting me out. She pulled a large can of beef stew from the pantry and showed it to him. Hows this?
Its fine. Thank you. Can I help with anything?
Again, soup from a can, heated in the microwave. She shot him a look of amusement. Sit down, Landry. You look as if you rode a bicycle here all the way from Bitterwood.
Barrowville, he corrected her with a wry grimace. Which was a breeze compared to hoofing it here on foot from North Carolina.
Olivia set the can on the counter and turned to look at him. North Carolina?
I dont want to talk about it right now, okay? As he met her gaze, waning daylight cast his face in light and shadows, emphasizing how much older he looked now than the last time shed seen him. The past two years had been hard on him. Aged him, left fine lines around his eyes and mouth.
Okay, she said quietly and returned to the task of preparing soup for their dinner.
He ate as if he hadnt eaten in days, though, as shed noticed before, he didnt appear thin enough to have skipped too many meals over the months hed been missing. Without being asked, she opened another can of soup and heated it up for him.
Thank you, he told her after hed finished the second can of soup. I havent had anything but protein bars and water for the past two days.
She wanted to ask him what had happened to him, but there was a warning light in his eyes when she leaned toward him, as if hed read her mind.
She sat back and finished her own soup slowly as he took his bowl and spoon to the sink and washed them. When he was done, he walked past the table and went to stand by the kitchen window to watch it snow.
How long is the snow supposed to last? he asked.
It should snow all night. We should get about six or seven inches, and the temperature isnt going to get above freezing for a couple of days after that. Theres a slight chance for more snow day after tomorrow, but the weather guys arent as sure about that. So he hadnt been near a television or radio in the past few days, either, she noted silently.
Just where the hell had he been all this time?
* * *
OLIVIAS CABIN WAS large and tastefully rustic, but Landry had a feeling the place had come fully furnished. Outside of her bedroom, there was little in the cabin that reminded him of her apartment back in Richmond, a small loft apartment that shed decorated in cool colors and clean lines. Even her beloved quilts had been stitched together in straight patterns, using fabrics in blues, greens and whites. Uncluttered and organizedthat had been the Olivia Sharp hed known and loved.
But he could tell shed changed, just as he had. Shed left the FBI first, left him and his anger behind. Hed been both furious and hurt at first, but after what hed gone through over the past few months, hanging on to resentment seemed pointless.
I dont have a spare bed.
He looked up to find her standing in the living room doorway, holding another thick quilt like the one hed seen on her bed. You have a sofa. Thatll do.
She handed him the quilt. It was another of her creations; he could tell by the geometric precision of the pattern.
Still quilting? he asked as she started to leave the room.
She stopped and turned to face him. When I have time. Which isnt often these days.
He set the quilt on the sofa next to him and waved toward one of the armchairs across from where he sat. You like working at The Gates?
She sat and folded her hands in her lap. I do.
Your boss seems very interested in your welfare.
Your boss seems very interested in your welfare.
The look she sent slicing his way was sharp enough to cut.
Sorry. Too soon?
Quinn takes an interest in all of his employees, she said flatly.
Hes trying to take down the Blue Ridge Infantry.
She didnt answer, her eyes narrowing.
Im not a traitor, Olivia.
You never told me how you got mixed up with the BRI. She crossed her long legs and sat back, pinning him with a challenging stare. I know you tried to help McKenna Rigsby when she was targeted by the Blue Ridge Infantry. You talked to one of our agents, tried to warn him about Darryl Boyles involvement with the BRI. But one question never really got answered, once you disappeared
How did I know about Boyle?
Exactly.
He tried to relax, as well, even though he suspected that some of Olivias placid composure was an act. He knew his unexpected arrival on her doorstep that afternoon had been a shock to her system, but as usual, she was trying not to let it show.
I suspected, when Rigsby supposedly went rogue, that something very bad had driven her there. She struck me as a good agent. She sure as hell hadnt joined the Blue Ridge Infantryshe hated them with a passion, hated everything they were doing and how they were twisting things like honor and patriotism for their own purposes. He couldnt hold back a smile remembering Rigsbys tirades. She vented to me. A lot. She was undercover, trying to get close to some of the female militia groupies, so she had to pretend she thought they hung the moon when she was with them.
Olivias lips curved with amusement. Shes so not groupie material.
So you know her.
I do. She didnt elaborate.
Is she okay?
Her smile faded. Shes fine.
I didnt get to find out what happened to her after she was taken.
Because you were grabbed by the BRI guys.
God, he hated the skepticism in her voice, the hint of disbelief, as if hed have disappeared for a year just for the hell of it. You dont believe me.
I never said that.
He pushed to his feet. You didnt have to.
She stood, as well, and caught his arm. Dont do this. Im trying to understand whats happened to you.
Youre looking at me as if Im crazy. Is that what you think?
Of course not. Her grip softened, her fingers sliding slowly down his arm to his wrist, where they settled against his scars. I just need to know why you stayed away so long. Where have you been?
After I got away from the guys who took me, I headed east into North Carolina. He gave a little tug of his arm and she let go of his wrist.
Why east? she asked.
Because when I got out of that hovel where they were keeping me, thats the way I was facing. So I ran and didnt look back. He looked down at his scarred wrists.
Until now. Why did you come back now?
He looked at her, saw the curiosity in those summer-sky eyes and blurted the truth. Because youre a target. And you needed to know.
Chapter Four
Thats why youre here? You thought we didnt know we were on the BRIs hit list? Olivia shook her head, not buying it. I told you already. We know
I dont mean The Gates is the target, Landry said in a quiet tone that made her chest ache. I mean you, Olivia. The BRI is trying to get their hands on you.
She stared at him, trying to read past the mirrorlike calm of his green eyes. How would you know this? You said you hadnt had anything to do with the BRI since your escape.
I didnt say that.
She thought for a moment and realized he hadnt. Shed assumed it, given that the BRI had taken him hostage and, according to what he had told her, beaten him terribly to get information out of him.
Maybe you should sit down and tell me what you know. She waved at the sofa and sat facing him on the coffee table, crossing her long legs under her. How do you know Ive been targeted?
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. The action brought him close to her, close enough to touch. All shed have to do is reach her hand toward him and
I got away from the BRI. But I still know some people who lurk around the edges of that group. People who arent on the inside but are close to men who are.
A cold tingle rippled through her. Women, you mean. The groupies.
A couple. Also a few guys who sympathize with the stated goals of the group but dont like their methods or trust that theyre what they say they are. There are a lot of people in these parts whove seen the mess government interference has made among their kinfolk and neighbors. You have multiple generations whove known nothing but life on welfare.
The draw, Olivia murmured. At his quizzical look, she added, Thats what people here call it. The draw.
They cant live without it, but some of them hate what its turned them into, too. He stood up and paced toward the fireplace, leaning toward the heat as if hed felt a chill. It makes it very tempting to hook up with people like the BRI.
I know. Shed grown up poor herself. Had struggled to escape the cycle of poverty and bad choices that had haunted her family for a couple of generations. People dont want to feel victimized. Being part of the BRI gives them a sense of power.
Theres a young man I got to know over the past couple of months. Little more than a kid, really. We worked a few day labor jobs together over near Cherokee. His uncle is part of the Blue Ridge Infantry, but this kid is smarter than that. They keep trying to recruit him, but he resists. Hes saving up all his money, planning to go to a technical college over in Asheville.
Hes the one who told you the BRI is targeting me?
Not exactly. Landry crossed to the coffee table and sat on the edge, facing her. He leaned closer, his gaze intense.
Once again, the desire to reach across the narrow space between them hit her like a physical ache. She curled her hands into fists and kept them in her lap. Then what, exactly?
He got me into a meeting where they were planning their next move in the war against The Gates.
She stared at him. You were in a meeting with the BRI and they didnt shoot you on sight?
Well, they didnt know I was there, he said with a grin that carved dimples in both cheeks, sending her heart into a flip. The meeting was at his uncles place, and theres a big vent in the den where they met. My friend lived with his uncles family for a while when his mama was in rehab a few years ago, and he found out that if you listen through the vent in his old bedroom, you can hear what theyre saying in that den clear as day.
He let you listen in? Does he know who you are?
Landry shook his head. I told him I was thinking of joining the BRI because I was tired of how the federal government was taking over every aspect of our lives. He sympathized, but he told me the BRI wasnt the way to go. They were nothing but trouble and he could prove it.
By letting you listen in on a meeting.