The hardships you endured, God will allow them to speak into other people who are following the same path. So, do not be ashamed of your past. Your scars are proof that God heals. Your story is not over, God is not done with you yet. He who began a good work in you will continue to perform it until it is complete. (Philippians 1:6)
(b). Human Love (Romantic)
Have you realised that when you have a quarrel with someone, you tell it to everyone without any fear. But if you really love someone, you even scare to tell them for the fear of being rejected. Hence nothing hurts more than being rejected, ignored, replaced, forgotten, or lied to. It is really scary. I am talking about that nervous feeling you get when you talk to someone you really like, in person or on the phone for the first time. Psychology says, the deeper your feelings, the harder they are to express.
Perhaps, the reason some of us are still single is that, and because we ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us, love the ones who hurt us, and hurt the ones who love us. We are stuck between what we want and what we are. So, stop pretending to be who you are not by putting a different picture from what you truly look like. Be completely honest about your feelings. For God created us to be bold and beautiful in all our ways. Do not be ashamed of the way you look. You have exactly what somebody else wants. What makes you different makes you beautiful. Be original. Be yourself. Be real. For what is real does not fade away. For you are part of a puzzle in someones life. Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.
You may never know where you fit. But, someones life is never be complete without you in it. Perhaps you feel like you are out of place where you are right now. But, as God is a *Keeper, ask Him to keep you from the wrong ones, and keep you celibate until you get your perfect match. If you stand still, you will see the hand of the Lord in your life because standing still is not sitting still. One is resignation.
The other is anticipation. And waiting patiently in expectation is the foundation of the spiritual life. Even if you are waiting for the fruit of the womb do not lose heart. Nothing ever stays the same forever. The seed of the bamboo tree spends 5 years underground with no growth. The 5th year it grows over 80 feet tall. So, waiting time is not wasting time. Your appointed time is coming. Be still, and know that I am God! (Psalm 46:10)
Realise, that someone love you, someone need you, someone prayed for you. You are the answer to someones prayer. So, always remember to smile. You may not know it, but someone might be dying to see that smile every day. For every time you smile at someone, it is an act of love, a gift to that person. However, how can you expect a person to smile back at you when you are not happy with who you are or where you are at in life? You deserve to be happy.
If someone is not trying their best for you to be happy, they probably are not the best for you. For the right relationship would not leave you guessing or confused, but you have got to be willing to open up if you want the other person to do the same. So, do not be afraid to show your love. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4:8)
If you believe that love is elusive, that you do not deserve love, ask yourself if you really want to live with such negative idea, and for how long? You have what it takes to love and love genuinely. Living a lie will reduce you to one. If the people in your life do not make you feel loved and appreciated, you are surrounding yourself with the wrong people. To love someone is to care for, trust and understand each other, to laugh together, to smile with your heart.
Thus, a forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognise it when it happens. You cannot force yourself or someone to open the door to their heart. They have to willingly give you the key. Hence, love starts when you see good things in someone and survives when you accept the bad things in that person. However, not every relationship is the same. Almost everyone who has lost love seems to find it later when they are not even looking for it. So, let the true love finds you.
When love is true, it would not be broken by problems, weakened by time, or gone by distance. Better a bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate. (Proverbs 15:17)
Everyone needs someone to make them feel like tomorrow is more than just another day. But, if something is not feeling quite right, just give it time to reveal itself. Though so many of us think that if we act like a thing does not exist, it will just go away. Decide now that you are going to set your mind on it for total victory. God will expose every detail so that your life will not be a mystery but one lived out daily in victory. When God reveals that you are making the wrong choice, listen.
If you resist the truth, you can only create pain. Even when you believe with all your mind that life is meaningless, you simply cannot live that way. You know better. You know God is there. Do not let the excitement of your cause you to forget your Creator (Ecclesiastes 12:1)
Sometimes we resist love but, all it takes is one act of kindness to turn that resistance into reassurance that love is the way. Yes, life with love will have some thorns but, a life without love will have no roses. Hence, you do not just fall into love. You commit to it. When you say I love you, you are making a promise with someone elses heart saying, I will be there no matter what.
But, some people will tell each other anything and everything except the fact they love each other. And, the most stupid thing in the world is acting like a friend to the person you know you love the most. Love knows. And you cannot hide from it. It will always find you. For it does not make sense when you have someone in your heart but, you cannot have them in your arms because you are afraid to tell.
If you are mad at someone, let them know. It works, you should try it. And stop avoiding it. Hence, avoiding something does not mean you do not want it. Sometimes, it means that you do want it but, you know it is not right for you. Sometimes it is good, easier or better to love from a safe distance. Because you do not lead someone on, if you have no intentions on leading them somewhere good. Besides, what is the point of starting something if you cannot finish it?
If you are looking for a life partner, your significant other or a true friend. Do not focus on the flaws; instead look for the good in a person. Do not listen to everything you are told about the person; not everything is truth. Be careful placing judgment upon him or her, for you are unaware of the battles they are fighting. Instead, pay closer attention, figure out why they live the way they do. This does not mean you have to love him or her too soon or trust too fast but, do not judge too soon and do not expect too high. For every person has something to teach you, and as soon as you accept this, you open yourself to true acceptance of the other person.
Otherwise you will end up spending your entire life hopelessly seeking the right lover and, or the right friend if you expect them to be perfect. Even worse, the process of doing so will drive you mad, as you will feel more and more insecure with every failed relationship that does not live up to your fantasy of perfection. We are all seeking those special relationships that feel perfect for us, but if you have been through enough relationships, you begin to realize that there are no perfect person for you, just different flavours of imperfect ones. That is because we are all imperfect in some way.
You yourself are imperfect in many ways, and you seek out relationships with people who are imperfect in complementary ways. Hence, it takes a lot of life experience to grow fully into yourself and realize your own imperfections; and it is not until you finally run up against your deepest imperfections, your unsolvable flaws the ones that truly define who you are that you are able to proficiently select harmonious relationships. Only then do you finally know what you are looking for. You are looking for the imperfect person who will balance you out, the perfectly imperfect person. So do not make judgments about anyone ahead of timebefore the Lord returns. For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives (1 Corinthians 4:5)
Besides, every person in this world is better than someone else and not as good someone else. Your insecurities are not always a bad thing, your flaws are not a deal breaker when falling in love. Never allow any of these lifes situations to rob you of an opportunity to say, I love you. Be yourself, even when you feel imperfect, ugly, too skinny or overweight, know that your love is worth it. For love is not if or because but, love is anyway and even though and in spite of. So, do not be discouraged to trust again, love again but never settle just because you are lonely.
Most of us are incredibly hard on ourselves and believe there is an invisible score keeper who is tracking our mistakes and accomplishments. Forgetting that life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful. You will never achieve some things until you fully accept the reality that you are not perfect. However, just because you get older in age does not mean you have to settle in relationships just to get married. Happiness in love has no age limit. Slow down, allow yourself to realize that life is about progress, not perfection. And the keys to finding love are patience and a healthy mind-set. Being jaded would not attract anyone worth having and, settling guarantees failure.
But, if you are searching for that one person who will change your life. Take a look in the mirror. There is a beauty beyond the mirror. And, it is only the Godly man or woman who can see it that worth your time. Do not let it be about boobs and booty or muscles and six packs but, your Godly character and sweet personality and your faithfulness in God. Never doubt for a second how beautiful you are. You are one of a kind. Look in the mirror and be proud of that special and unique person you have become. Being the best is great, you are number one.
But, being unique is greater, you are the only one. You do not really need someone to change or complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely. Do not truly change for someone; change for God. You were born to be real, not to be perfect. You are here to be you, not to live someone elses life.
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You were made to fulfil a purpose that only you could do. So, there will never be a more beautiful you. Seek no ones approval, your life does not depend on others acceptance. You do not need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. Do not change who you are just because you are afraid of losing someone. If one really loves you, your imperfections would not matter. Give one a space to show up for you. If you are constantly chasing them, you will never get to see if you are the only one holding on.
The hardest things to let go of are the things you never really had. If one need space, give it to them. If you do not, you will get closer to them and they will grow away from you. Rejection does not decrease your value when you know your worth. Young love cares about what is now and never mind what is next but mature love cares about what is now and after. Let your beauty be not just the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on fine clothing; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God (1 Peter 3:3-4)
God always gives us a choice. However, we cannot remember the choices we made at 16, at 21, at 35 years yet, many of those choices are influencing our lives. We spend so much time trying to choose the perfect opportunity, that we miss the right opportunity. When you finally get something good, enjoy it. Do not go looking for something perfect and miss out on what is real. Hence, there is no perfect people. We all make mistakes but you need to remember and celebrate what you have done right. Everything may not be where you want them to be in life But, even in the small successes, give God the highest praise. For, the joy of the Lord is your strength.(Nehemiah 8:10)
So, choosing a life partner should not be done without first praying fervently and seeking Gods will in the matter. Anytime you take someone with you that God has not authorized, it tampers with your destiny. Never look for someone who will take care of you. Instead look for someone who will care for you. Infatuation is when you find
someone who is absolutely perfect. Love is when you realize that they are not and it does not matter. Do not fall in love with someone who only says the right things, fall in love with someone who does the right things.
To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what she or he has already achieved, but at what she or he aspires to. Not everyone knows how to be everything you need them to be. Forgive their inability. Consider their heart and do not hide yours either, just learn to show it and share it respectfully. The more you hide your heart feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow. Sometimes you can be too busy searching in the distance, to notice that what you are really looking for, is right next to you. If you search for good, you will find favour; but if you search for evil, it will find you! (Proverbs 11:27)
Choose a partner that uses the word when not if when describing their future. Beyond your desire for intimacy also look for sincerity but, it is not easy find sincerity. It is important to know that sincerity does not and cannot substitute the truth for it is an openness of heart that can be found in very few people, what we usually see is only an artful dissimulation to win confidence of others. Do not do it or say it, unless you believe it from your heart. A heart that is worn on the sleeve is evident to others.
Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. Promise only what you can deliver. Then, deliver more than you promised. Let the truth be the light that you see by, open your heart to honesty and close the door to illusion. Be careful, everything genuine can be faked. In human emotions, only the heart can tell the difference. Words that do not come from the heart can deceive you. Do not be fooled by its common place appearance. Like so many things, it is not what outside, but what is inside that counts.