Each and every one of them wanted one thing, to have a high level of action and intervention against the enemies, although this was changing over the years.
Allied countries became strategic objectives, new enemies arose, and paradoxically, enemy countries of a lifetime, became key allies in the area.
Despite my access to information, I couldnt see the whole equation and understand the movements involved. There was a lot that escaped me, although I had more information than any of the generals of my government.
Be that as it may, if it were a chess board, it had gone from being a simple pawn, to being a tower, a safe place for government secrets, but far from the central figures of the board, the ones that really make the decision And speaking of chess, with this memory issue, I don't know how I can manage to play every day.
They had forced me to learn to play chess, a strange game at first, but that helped me to have an agile mind, which suited me very well with mathematics.
But in a short time I had no opponent to beat, and the others got tired of playing because they always lost, so I had to learn to play against myself.
A board game for two, only for one, which created a small problem for me, because when I changed position and had to play with the opposite color, as I knew the strategies I was going to apply, I had to think about how to refute myself . In the end a game could become endless, spending days and days to win it.
My point being, with this memory, it was becoming increasingly difficult to follow the games, because as soon as I got up to see something, and returned to the game, I did not know what color of chips I was playing.
Such is the case, that I had to start placing notes before getting up, such as "Now move the white ones", but there came a time, that I even forgot to write those notes, so I stayed blank, looked and looked at the board , trying to guess what chips I had to play, and I even had a hard time thinking about the plays.
It was weird, I presumed to be able to see the whole game as soon as I started playing, being able to predict in which movement I was going to win, now, instead, it was strangely difficult for me to concentrate on knowing what to do.
So much that chess has become one of many things that I keep in the house, junk that I suppose at some point served, but now only serve as an ornament.
Many of them I have kept in the drawers so that they are not in the middle, but then, I don't even know what's in there.
Sometimes I entertain myself by opening the drawers to surprise myself with the amount of objects that are stored there, some of them gave me the feeling that it was the first time I saw them, but it couldn't be, if they were there, it's because I would have put them there, and despite that I couldnt remember, either when or where I bought them, if it was mine or someone else who had lent it to me, and sometimes, I did not even know what that "junk" was for.
Not even the plants, which my wife cared for so dearly, not even these survived my forgetfulness. Although she had told me, "Before the nap, pour some water and they will last forever," but even that simple instruction I was unable to remember, and they all dried up.
The lady who came to do the cleaning from time to time, brought me a new plant to "give joy to the house," as she said, and told me when to water it, despite this, they did not survive.
Well, for me it was better, so I had no more of those obligations, the kind that then overwhelmed me for not knowing if I had fulfilled them or not.
I believe that I have already obeyed too much during my life, and that I have also more than fulfilled my patriotic duties, if one could say so.
Luckily I never had to use a weapon, but I'm not naive either, the information I was handling has led some to death, especially spies from the opposite side, but above all it has saved lives.
Luckily for everyone, mathematics is finite, and as much imagination as we throw it, there is always some element that can be used for decoding, it is only a matter of time and effort.
Thus, we could be aware of the progress of our enemies, many times without intervening so as not to reveal that we were able to read their messages. Then everything got complicated.
After the Second World War, our country assumed a relevant role worldwide, we were no longer a country that only limited ourselves to guarding our borders, now we maintained world peace, and our work got complicated, so much that they sent me to Europe to work from there, because that was the greatest political interest of our country at that time.
The Nazi threat had put the intelligence of all European countries in check, but especially ours, despite the distance, something I did not fully understand until I got there.
At the time, no one had noticed the real danger of that popular movement, or everything that had happened afterwards, and it couldnt be repeated.
That is why they sent me there, to study everything I could about the advances in codification of the Europeans, who strangely had come a long way in recent years, something that I could observe over time, how great technological advances occur in times of war and not only in terms of armament development concerns.
I do not know what it is, the need to survive or something else, but the progress when there is imminent danger is evident, and nothing better than Europe to prove it, always threatened by one side or the other, and yet, look how They have progressed leaving their competitors behind and becoming world leaders in many fields, despite the fact that they practically had to rebuild their nation from their foundations after World War II.
So, they sent me to Europe, as a diplomat, cultural attaché with a mission, to learn from our allies, which is what the Europeans were called at that time, in return, from our government they would receive tactical assistance, so that they could rebuild their cities and towns.
At first everything went well, but what am I saying?!, Well, removing the incident in Spain, from which I learned to take nothing for granted and cover my back very well. Someone had tried to get me out of there, and I hadn't even noticed it. False instructions that I had never seen before had put me behind bars waiting for a military trial.
Luckily, in those troubled times, not everyone thought I was a traitor, and with help from inside they managed to free me and took me out of the country, with the promise of never returning under penalty of death.
"An exile is better than death," I thought, but they had left me on the French border without knowing what to do.
That was not much safer than the country where I came from, so I had to look for some kind of embassy or military base, from where I could communicate with my command, to give signs of life and request instructions.
As I could, and after many hardships, I finally got to England and I felt at home there.
Already at the border I was able to show my papers and they treated me very well, at first they sent me to a nearby military base, to corroborate my story, but when they were sure that I was who I said I was, everything was easier.
Chapter 2. The Farewell
I had not yet reached thirty, when one of the strangest events of my life happened. I remember it perfectly, because that year we had to work non-stop for the most relevant historical event that has happened to the American people, the arrival of man on the Moon.
An event that changed the conception of what until then we knew about the universe, now seemed to be all closer, accessible, so that in a few years time we could colonize that neighboring star.
How naive on our behalf! So many hours of television broadcasting debates between journalists and intellectuals about what we should do there, what it meant to be the first step in the colonization of other planets, both talking and making plans, for nothing.
How naive on our behalf! So many hours of television broadcasting debates between journalists and intellectuals about what we should do there, what it meant to be the first step in the colonization of other planets, both talking and making plans, for nothing.
There were even those who sold moon plots, so that when colonized one could have their place there, and now, after a few decade, What about all that?, nothing, because nothing was real, not even the technicians of that time believed in everything that was said, now it seems that there is no interest in colonizing the moon anymore.
At that time I was very far from my country, in an undercover mission, but instead of being in the field of the enemy, it was within the territory of our allies.
My mission was to discover, copy and forward technological advances, referring to the encoding and decoding of messages, that is, the art of encryption, for which I was authorized to use any method within my reach.
I will not say that I did not do it, because my bosses wanted results, but it was always justified, so some scientists disappeared during their vacations, or had to suffer the kidnapping of a relative to get them to cooperate. Nothing nice, but work is work!
I was not in charge of that part, just of asking the questions and validating the knowledge that these scientists gave me.
And then they were released, because once we have discovered their keys, it didn't matter what they did.
Although more than one had to be visited again, because they developed different keys after being trapped, to continue hiding their messages....
In the meantime and in order to remain undercover, I had a second life as a university professor, which allowed me to access libraries and approach other professors, being updated with them latest work and informed of what they knew about other scientists have discovered, anything of interest to me.
Without knowing the rest of the faculty served as my ears, in case they found any scientist had made any type of discovery, then without anyone knowing, I visited them in order to get the information out of them.
At that time, I had even acquired a certain reputation in the world of chess, but only in friendly games, since I tried not to appear in public events that could discover my identity, in case I had to change my destination, so that nobody could recognize me.
Despite that, some universities they used to call me to give a lecture from time to time, and after this, I used to play two chess games with those who were supposed to be the best in that institution.
To tell the truth, I used to win the first game without a problem, and the second one, I would not say I let them win, but I did not want to leave the institution that had invited me in a bad position.
And when no one saw me, I sent the corresponding report of my progress weekly, as well as the information I had obtained from those scientists who managed to cooperate.
Everything seemed simple, and one could already say that I was an expert in it, when a new destination arrived, Israel.
At first I was surprised, I had no previous idea, at no time they had suggested or asked me anything, so I asked to confirm the instructions, it was not the first time I had received false instructions, due to my position and handling of the delicate information that I always had in my hands.
I had to learn to be cautious just in case, as they say, since on more than one occasion I had fallen into someone's trap, as it happened in Spain, and that despite the time elapsed, I couldnt find out who wanted to make damage me so bad back then.
After confirming the instructions, I got rid of the support team, the one that was in charge of doing the dirty work, kidnapping and extortion, and I took my suitcase to an uncertain destination, a British colony that had few signs of progress.
At first I thought that it was some kind of punishment, although I did not understand the reason, it did not seem to me that I had done a bad job at any time, although it was not the first time that those who bothered or did not perform their function well were sent to an inhospitable destiny from which they almost never returned.
I did not know where I was going, I only knew it was desert, quite the opposite of what I had enjoyed so far, with mild summers and rainy winters, but in any case a pleasant temperature, but the desert!
I had left my professorship at the university, my privileged position, that kind of comfortable life I had, and everything to go to a desert, I did not understand! But orders are orders! And you always have to be willing to meet them.
It would be like coming home, well, at the origin of my military training, there in Arizona in Arizona ?, yes, there it was, then it had not been in Pennsylvania!, that was surely the place where I found my first love.
This memory makes me change dates or places, and the worst thing is that I don't even realize it, until someone tells me, and not even with that.
I still remember once I was talking to someone, about an upcoming appointment, I don't know what, I think, about the doctor, and I was telling him that on the sixth day of next month.
Of course! the voice on the other side of the phone told me -See you next Thursday .
Thursday ?, I have said on the sixth, and it is Tuesday.
No sir! I have it here, next day, the sixth is a Thursday -. -What? not, miss !, next Thursday is the ninth -.
Are we talking about March?
Sure, Miss! What! Do you think I don't know what month I live in? -
But she hesitated. -Which year?-
Well, what will it be ?, from 1984 I answered surprised of her
question.
No sir, it is not that year! We live in 1990, surely you are looking at an old calendar- she replied.
In 1990 ?, what are you talking about ?, we live in 1984, or am I not going to know
in what year do I live? I asked annoyed.
I don't want to contradict you, sir, but it's 1990.-
Well, I don't believe it, let's see! Who is the president ?
Sir, I don't think this conversation leads to anything." I would be grateful if you could contact me with another person with whom I could resolve this issue to end it.
Then my wife put on and solved everything, apologizing about my bad head.
Actually, despite everything, and after cutting, I was still convinced that I was right and not her, thankfully my wife reassured me by saying:
Nothing happened, she is new! Do not worry that I will take you to the doctor on the day of the appointment.
They are things of the memory! which, over time, you know, it is normal that there is some failure from time to time, but it always put me in a very bad mood when someone made evident my forgetfulness.
Sometimes I spent hours thinking about what I had forgotten, trying to understand how or why it happened.
Although my anger almost did not last, because after a few minutes I had forgotten the reason for the anger and left it.
How much time wasted trying to remember !, On some occasions I was able to find out what it was and I was surprised that I was angry at that insignificant thing, but I was not able to control my emotions.
Over time, I was increasingly uncompromising, it bothered me above all, that others did not fulfill what they had said or what I expected them to do.
On the other hand, when I was wrong or something happened to me, I always found some justification for it, minimizing that mistake by telling myself that it was a matter of age.
How different it was now from when I was young! Then I was a faithful achiever and without allowing myself to fail for any reason, and of course, I had no memory failure, moreover, thanks to my work and chess, I had a memory that some even compared me to a walking encyclopedia.