Then Ill pledge to the Church! she cried, swiping tears from her cheeks with both hands, and I glanced nervously at the closed laundry room door. We couldnt hide forever, but we couldnt afford to be discovered before we had a plan. And my sister pledging to join the Church was not a good plan.
Sure, if she pledged, theyd put her baby on the very short, very elite Church registrya list of elderly Church officials who were ready to give up their souls to support the next generation of life. But then theyd take the baby, not as a ward, like the orphans, but as an ecclesiastic dedication. A human tithe. In another town. She would never see him again, and at eighteen, he would be ordained without choice, his soul to be paid for with lifelong service to the Church by both mother and child.
You dont want to pledge, Mellie, I said, though I couldnt make myself voice the reasons.
She wiped her eyes again and looked at me with more determination than Id ever seen from her. What I dont want is to let this baby die.
I stared at her. I wasnt sure I recognized my own sister in that moment. Melanie had changed in the hour since wed walked to school. She was still young and impulsive, and still wasnt quite thinking things through, but at some point shed come to value her unborn childs life more than her own, and that made her a better mother than ours had ever been.
I can do this, Nina, she said, and that determination Id seen in her eyes echoed in her voice. I know you think I never take anything seriously, and I mess everything up, but I can do this, and if youll help me, I may not have to join the Church. Ill do whatever you say. She took my hand in both of hers. Ill do all the laundry, and the dishes, and anything else you need me to do, if youll just help me keep my baby. Please, Nina!
She was too young. We couldnt guarantee her baby a soul. Even if it lived and the Church let her keep it, we couldnt afford to feed and clothe a baby. And I wouldnt be able to pledge and become a teacher, because Melanie couldnt do this on her own. To give her baby even a chance at life, I would have to spend the rest of mine in a factory.
I knew I should say no. But I couldnt.
Okay. Ill help you. But you have to understand that there are no guarantees. If the Church decides to prosecuteand they would if Deacon Bennett saw her as an embarrassment to the townyou could serve serious time. Unpaid prison workers were the nations largest source of factory labor, producing everything from paper cups and clothing to car parts and traffic signals, in every plant that had survived the war. And even if you dont go to jail, youll have at least two convictions on your record. One for fornication, one for conceiving a child without a license. Thosell keep you out of college. Which was a real shame, because Melanie was smart. She had a head for numbers and a memory for facts and dates. And they may still take the baby. But Ill do the best I can.
My sister threw her arms around me, sobbing her thanks onto my shoulder, where her tears and snot mixed with the rainwater already soaked into my shirt.
I held her for a moment, trying to squelch the sudden certainty that Id just nominated us both for execution. Then I let her go, hyperaware of the clock ticking over the door. Wed been sequestered in the laundry room for ten minutes. It didnt seem possible for so much to have changed in less than a quarter of an hour, but clocks dont lie.
Melanie sniffled. So now what?
You go home. That was the only part of the plan I had worked out so far. I waved one hand at the utility sink in the corner. Wash your face, and dont cry anymore or youll attract attention. Go out through the admin building so you wont have to climb the fence, but do not get caught in here. Follow the tracks home so no one will see you on the street either. Ill tell Anabelle youre sickthat you ran out so you wouldnt throw up on the floorand see if she can buy us some time by scheduling a makeup physical. But theyre going to find out, Melanie.
Wed just have to make sure they found out on our terms.
My sister and I parted ways in the hall, where I watched her sneak around a corner, and then I headed in the other direction, letting my wet shoes squeak on the tile floor in an attempt to cover the sound of hers. If I got caught, I could say I was looking for her. If she got caught
She couldnt get caught.
When I got to the quad again, the rain had almost stopped, but poor Matthew Mercer was still soaked, and this time he didnt look up when I passed him or when a neat line of second graders filed past us both on the way to the worship center.
Back in the gym, I pulled Anabelle aside and told her that Melanie was sick, and that Id told her to go home and rest. When I asked if she could schedule a makeup physical, she looked suspicious but promised to try.
I wanted to sneak out and follow my sister home, where I could consider our options without the distraction of teachers and classes and other students whisperingsome outright askingabout Melanies breakdown. But if I snuck out, my absence would be just as obvious as my sisters.
During third period, the front office sent a note for me to deliver to her after school. It was a formal notice for her to present herself for discipline first thing in the morning.
After school, I stuffed the discipline notice into my satchel along with my books and walked home the long way, which led me past the Grab-n-Go. I stood across the street for several minutes, watching through the window for Dale, the assistant manager, to take his afternoon break. That would leave Ruth at the register, and Ruth never looked up from her crossword puzzle long enough to notice that Id paid for the gum on the counter but not the food in my satchel.
I hadnt come for food this time, and that fact made me even more determined to avoid Dale.
When he disappeared into the back room, I jogged across the street and into the store, wishing for the millionth time that there was no bell to announce my presence. Ruth looked up, focused on me for half a second while I perused the selection of candy, then went back to her puzzle.
As usual, I hesitated in front of the locked display case of cola, where a single bottle had been gathering dust for most of the last year because no one in the neighborhood could afford it. Then I drifted silently toward the half aisle of toiletries and over-the-counter medications while the screen mounted at the front of the store played the news.
The badly mutilated corpse of April Walden, the teen who went missing from Solace two days ago, was discovered in the badlands south of New Temperance yesterday, less than a month after her seventeenth birthday. Church officials believe she was killed by a degenerate.
No shit , I mumbled, wandering slowly down the aisle, listening for any mention of the degenerate killed fifty feet from where I stood.
Still no word on why Walden left the safety of Solaces walls, but one high-ranking Church official ventured to conjecture that she was, in fact, possessed before she ever left the town.
After that, the reporter transitioned to the latest death toll from the front lines in Asia, where brave soldiers and elite teams of exorcists were steadfastly beating back the last of the Unclean in the name of the Unified Church. As theyd been doing all my life. The location sometimes changed as one area was pronounced cleared and troops moved to cleanse another region, but the battles themselves were always the same.
After that, the reporter transitioned to the latest death toll from the front lines in Asia, where brave soldiers and elite teams of exorcists were steadfastly beating back the last of the Unclean in the name of the Unified Church. As theyd been doing all my life. The location sometimes changed as one area was pronounced cleared and troops moved to cleanse another region, but the battles themselves were always the same.
We always won, but it was never easy. Losses were inevitable. Sacrifices would be honored and remembered.
Id taken three more steps toward a narrow white box on the top shelf when a familiar six-note melody signaled the switch to the local news, which played on the hour, every hour, to keep citizens informed about the happenings close to home. The happenings the Church wanted us to know about, anyway.
Id sold our television almost two years before, when I realized Id rather have a functioning microwave than hear the same pointless recitation of news over and over, night after night.
But this time I listened closely. A degenerate inside the town walls would definitely make the local news, and with any luck, the report would tell me how close the police were to identifying the mystery boy and girl who had fled the scene that morning.
Church officials are on the lookout for a group of adolescent offenders last spotted near New Temperance, wanted for truancy, heresy, and theft. Reports indicate that the group has between three and five members, only two of whom have been identified at this time. Reese Cardwell is seventeen years old. He has light skin, brown hair, and brown eyes, but his most prominent feature is his size. Cardwell is six feet six inches tall, and his weight is estimated at over two hundred and thirty pounds.
The school picture they flashed on the screen could have been any boy at my school. He looked young and friendly, and you cant tell much about a persons size from a head shot.
Devi Dasari has dark hair and eyes and is estimated to be five feet seven inches tall. Demonic possession is suspected for all members of the group, but unconfirmed at this time. Citizens are asked to report any suspicious activity and unfamiliar faces to your local Church leaders.
Fugitives in New Temperance And if the fugitives were suspected of possession, there would be exorcists in New Temperance too.
Id seen both suspicious activity and unfamiliar faces that very morning, and New Temperance was too small and dull a town for that to be coincidence. But one of the faces Id seen had belonged to a degeneratedefinitely not a teenagerand the other belonged to an exorcist too young and unbranded to be ordained by the Church.
Why wasnt the news reporting the dead degenerate? Were the possibly possessed teen fugitives unconnected to the demon that attacked me? Was their story big enough to eclipse reports of a degenerate inside the town walls?
That was almost too far-fetched a thought to process. Obviously, the news was omitting some relevantand no doubt importantpiece of the story. Probably the piece that would connect the dots.
But on the bright side, there was no report of a fifteen-year-old pregnant dissident arrested for disobeying the direct order of a Church official.
Near the middle of the aisle, I took the box I needed from the top shelf, wiped dust from it with my hand, then slid it into my satchel. At the end of the aisle, I turned left, heading toward the gum for my legitimate purchase. But I froze two steps later when Dale stepped into my path.
Whatcha got there, Nina? he asked softly so Ruth wouldnt hear.
Nothing yet. I pointed past him at the display of chewing gum.
Open your bag.
Shit! Not today, Dale. Please. The word tasted sour, but I was willing to beg. I couldnt leave the store without what Id come for, and I couldnt let him see what that was.
Nothins free, he whispered, stepping so close I could smell the coffee on his breath. You gotta pay, one way or another. His pointed glance at Ruth was a threat to rat me out. He knew as well as I did that there were no more than three coins in my pocketnowhere near enough for what Id taken, even if he didnt know what that was. Your choice.
But it wasnt, really. It was never my choice.
He gestured for me to precede him down the aisle, and I didI knew the waymy stomach churning harder with every step. At the back of the store, he led me past the grimy restrooms and into a small supply closet, where he held the door open for me in a farce of chivalry.
I took a deep, bitter breath, then stepped inside and shoved a mop bucket with my foot to make room. Dale came in after me, and I pressed my back against the wall to put as much space between us as possible. He pulled the door closed and fumbled for the switch in the dark. A single bulb overhead drenched the closet in weak yellow light, casting ominous shadows beneath his features, making him look scarier than he really was.
Dale was a dick, and a stupid dick at best. But he wasnt scary. Demons were scary. The Church was scary. Dale was just an opportunistic asshole in a position of minor power.
Give me the bag.
I set my satchel on the floor and pinned it against the wall with my feet. He couldnt know. No one could know.
Fine. Take it off.
My teeth ground together as I unbuttoned my blouse. I closed my eyes so I wouldnt have to see him, but I couldnt avoid hearing the way his breathing changed. The way his inhalations hitched, his exhalations growing heavier and wetter with each button that slid through its hole.
Take it off, he repeated when I reached the last button.
Eyes still closed, I let the material slide off my shoulders, down to my elbows. His feet shuffled on the concrete floor, and I squeezed my eyes shut tighter. A second later, his fingers were there, greedy and eager. They pushed at the remaining material, shoving my bra up, squeezing, pinching.
I let it happen. I had no other way to pay.
But when his fingers fumbled with the button of my pants, my eyes flew open. No.
His hands stilled but didnt retreat. Its not just a can of soup this time, is it? Or a loaf of bread? Whatevers in that bag today, I think you really want it. I think you need it. Well, guess what I need.
He tried for the button again, and I shoved him back, then clutched the open halves of my blouse to my chest. I said no.
You want me to call the police?
I made a decision then. One I couldnt have made a day earlier. Call them. Ill tell them how youve been charging a poor, hungry schoolgirl for a year and a half, corroding my morals and defiling my innocence. Well see who they arrest.
His hands fell away and his gaze hardened, staring into mine. Trying to decide whether or not to call my bluffand any other day, it would have been a bluff, because I couldnt afford for the police and my mother to meet. But thanks to Melanies collection of offenses, they were going to meet anyway, sooner or later, and if picking sooner would keep Dales hands off me, so be it.
I suffered a minor moment of panic when I realized that if I had him arrested, there would be no more free food. But then, it was never really free in the first place, was it?