I admit that Ive been known to sidestep the dating scene, but Ive actually been trying to do a little more socializing, she admitted. And its not the easiest thing in the world. Girl, dating is hard, she said emphatically. Have some more salad?
Emily was easily distracted by Alexiss offer of more crab salad and homemade rolls. Alexis heaped another helping of the delicious salad onto Emilys plate, while Sherri gave her another roll and refilled her lemonade. They loved spoiling Emily anytime, but especially now during her pregnancy. Since shed eloped over Thanksgiving weekend and then moved to Chicago, they didnt have too many chances to dote on their girl.
Im probably eating too much, but this tastes so wonderful, Emily said happily.
You can have anything you want, now that youre eating for two, Sherri assured her. Sherri was a doctor and spoke with authority on the subject. You should gain about thirty-five pounds before delivery and youre nowhere near that yet. Youve been taking very good care of yourself.
Im eating well and Im still exercising and Todd keeps a close eye on me, whether I want him to or not. Emily sighed. Her new husband was a doctor, too, and his only desire in life was to keep her safe and happy. And Im actually eating for three, Emily said with a smile. We just found out that were having twins!
After the exclamations of joy and excitement, Emily went right back to her initial topic of discussion. She was a biochemist by profession and nothing could deter her once she had marked out a path of inquiry on any subject. Alexis, you vowed on New Years Day that you were going to have a love life this year. You wanted the spare keys to the house on Hilton Head because you were going to meet the man of your dreams, kidnap him and spend next New Years Eve having a passion-filled tryst. Its June. Halfway there. So what happened to those plans, Lex?
Alexis curled her dainty upper lip in a gesture that was more snarl than smile. Is it nice to rub peoples noses in their fantasies? No, its not. Its very mean, as a matter of fact. She rose gracefully from her chair and went to the refrigerator to refill the glass pitcher of lemonade. She always made the old-fashioned kind from scratch with fresh lemons and spring water. Hopefully being a good hostess would make her friend drop the subject. But her maneuver didnt work.
Emily patted the corners of her mouth with her linen napkin and held out her glass for more when Alexis came back to the table. It didnt sound like a fantasy to me, Lex. It sounded like a declaration, a statement of intent. Your primary goal was to meet a suitable mate and develop a relationship.
Alexis didnt have a chance to refute Emilys remark before Sherri chimed in. Not just a relationship, a marriage. I was there and I heard every word. And trust me, shes not doing anything that could possibly plant her feet on a trip down the aisle.
She and Emily laughed heartily, but Alexis didnt join in. She uncrossed her arms, which had been locked across her chest like an extra-tight sports bra. Its not that funny, you two. Ive dated enough lately to realize that the single pool is shrinking and stagnant and the likelihood of finding a mate is small. Infinitesimal, actually. So Ive decided that Im not looking anymore. Im going to let him search for me, she said with a touch of defiance.
Sherri looked surprised and Emily looked thoughtful after Alexis made her announcement. She finished off her roll and took a sip of lemonade before speaking, but what she said let Alexis know that she was on her side.
I actually think thats a good idea, Lexie. When you go out looking for something you almost never find it. I wasnt looking when I got together with Todd. He just kinda dropped into my lap. If the things youve been doing havent been working, its time to sit back and see what happens, she said. What exactly have you been doing, by the way?
Alexis gave her a grim smile that was less from humor than frustration. Ive been going out on some really bad dates. Really, really bad, she emphasized.
Emilys eyes widened. Bad dates? How many and how bad? And whats for dessert? Wait a minute, dont tell me yet. I have to pee again. She pushed away her chair from the table and hurried to the bathroom.
Alexis had to smile as she watched her scurry off. It was hard to believe that less than a year ago Emily was a grouchy, rumpled academic with no interest in men whatsoever. After a surprise encounter with Todd Wainwright at her familys vacation home on Hilton Head Island, she and Todd fell head over heels in love. Now Emily was a newlywed with two babies on the way. She looked like a new person with her fabulous haircut, courtesy of Alexis, and a new wardrobe Sherri helped her pick out. Her beautiful caramel skin glowed with happiness and her demeanor was now anything but glum. She was cheerful and more outgoing than shed ever been before. And it was all because shed met and married her soul mate. Love could work miracles, if Emily was an example.
Whats for dessert? And whats up with the bad dates? Emily was back, seeking truth and sweets.
I have some homemade lemon bars if you refrain from asking questions. Alexis was an excellent cook and her lemon bars were better than any in the whole world. Emily was clearly torn for a moment, but she decided to play the mommy-to-be card.
Sherri says I can have anything I want. And since your godsons or goddaughters are incubating inside me as we speak, I cant be denied, she said smugly. So you cant make me choose between dessert and dish. Give it up or Ill whine, she warned.
Oh, sit down. Ill tell you whatever you want, just dont make that horrible sound. You know I cant stand that, Alexis said grumpily.
Good. I want two, Emily said, holding up as many fingers. When the pair of extra-big bars was set before her on beautiful pale green pottery, she grinned and took a huge bite. So good! Now these bad dates How bad could they have been?
This time, Sherri and Alexis locked gazes and burst out laughing. When they could talk again, Sherri wiped her eyes with her napkin.
They werent just bad, they were atrocious, Sherri said. If I hadnt been an eyewitness to a couple of these so-called dates I would swear shed been exaggerating, but I was there and I saw it all. Its just ridiculous what passes for dating these days.
Sherri saw them? Were they double dates or something? Emilys face was alight with open curiosity.
Alexis sighed loudly. These would have to fall into the or something category. Sherri was my wingman a few times. Shed go with me and sit at another table in case things went south and they often did. Like with that jackleg preacher, she said with a shudder.
How did you meet him and what went wrong?
Are you sure youve got time to listen to this drivel? Because if I try to tell you about each one it could take all day, Alexis warned.
Ive got plenty of time. Todd is with Mama, helping her to organize the rest of the things she wants to move to Chicago. Closing a house youve lived in as long as she lived there is more than a notion. He wont mind if we take our time. He adores Momma and the feeling is quite mutual. They just love each other. So if you can find me something to put my chubby pregnant-lady feet on, Im good to go. After I pee again, she said thoughtfully. I think they take turns jumping on my bladder. They must be boys because sweet little girls wouldnt do that to their mommy.
Sherri looked wise and shook her head gently as Emily went to the bathroom once again. Sydney got in a few good kicks from time to time, she said, referring to her little girl. She liked music and shed dance whenever she felt like it. She also seemed to respond to football games because she loved marching bands. If a game was on, shed be marching along in my belly like a drum major. As you know, I was sure she was gonna be a total tomboy but shes turning out to be a regular little princess. She still loves football, but only from the stands. Soccer and dance are her main interests for now. And yep, she used to tap dance on my bladder with great frequency.
You dont have to remind me, Alexis said. We were with you every step of the way, if you recall.
Emily came back into the kitchen in time to agree with Alexiss last statement. Lets elevate my mother-to-be cankles, please. And then I want the real deal, no more stalling! Emily said firmly.
Fine, but dont say I didnt warn you, chick. These are some scary tales straight from the crypt of broken dreams. Dont blame me if you have bad dreams tonight.
After they retired to the comfortable living room and Emilys feet were propped on an ottoman, it was story time.
I guess I should do this in chronological order, Alexis said thoughtfully. That way you can see how my lovely hopes and dreams got smashed into bits on the ugly cliffs of reality.
Emily had to swallow a laugh. Youre still the queen of melodrama, arent you?
Sherri assured her that she was. Some things never change.
And you know this, Alexis said with a spot-on imitation of a royal wave. Now, if you harpies would quit picking on me Ill tell Emily the sad tales of romance gone wrong. Sherri is my witness. I wasnt going anywhere alone with a strange man so I would have the guy meet me and Sherri would be there, too, discreetly, of course. Anyway, the first guy was a cousin of a very nice lady from my church. You know they always say that, when you want to meet someone, you should let your friends know so they can hook you up. And whats better than a church hookup, right? I was pretty sure that Mrs. Grice wouldnt introduce me to a serial killer, you know?
His name is Herbert and hes a teacher. Hes also getting a degree in theology, or so he said. Not good-looking, not bad looking, just average. No real personality, but he was pleasant enough until he told me I was the darkest woman hed ever dated. And how surprised he was at how pretty I am.
Emilys eyes got huge and her mouth fell open. Girl, no he didnt!
Oh, yes, he did. It was bad enough that he brought up the subject in the first place, but the dummy wouldnt let it go. He kept talking about it like I was the eighth wonder of the world or something.
Alexis was indeed the proud possessor of a complexion as dark as chocolate and as smooth as the finest silk. She was also extremely fashionable. She wore her glossy black hair in a short, chic style like Halle Berrys and it showed off her features beautifully. Alexis wore sleek, contemporary clothes in dazzling colors that brought out her rich coloring and made her look like the best-dressed woman in any room she entered. To some, Sherri, Emily and Alexis made an odd-looking trio. Emily was tall and brown, Sherri even taller and very fair skinned and Alexis the shortest of the trio with her chocolate-brown complexion. She had a hard time getting her head around the concept of being color-struck but there were still folks who clung to the idea that lighter skin was more desirable. It was so silly to Alexis that she generally just ignored the idea and all it implied. When she did stumble over someone who voiced their preference in pigmentation, it was like meeting someone who thought the earth was flat or who believed in alchemy. Alexis rarely encountered the outdated concept unless she was talking to someone who was really dense like Herbert.
Alexis could remember the exact moment when she knew Herbert was going to say something ignorant that would get him placed in her little red book of losers from which there was no hope of return. They met at the restaurant, which was his pick. It wasnt a four-star gourmet establishment, but it was nice enough for a first date, especially if the male wasnt foolish enough to expect after-dinner sex. That wasnt gonna be happening tonight or any other night, ever, no matter how needy she was. Alexis was her usual calm, reserved self, if she had to say so herself; she was ladylike and accepting of his humor; she contributed to the conversation in a friendly manner as long as it didnt veer into the ridiculous. When she caught him staring at her as if she possessed the secret location of the Holy Grail, she knew he was about to blurt out something shed regret hearing and sure enough, he did.
All the women Ive ever dated have been either light skinned or very pale brown, he said.
Alexis wisely held her tongue because if she opened her mouth, shed let go with a stream of vitriol that would land her on the local news at the very least, and quite possibly on the internet. Everybody had a cell phone these days; people who couldnt balance a checkbook knew how to upload scandalous videos to the web. Instead of lashing out at him, she adopted the expression she used when dealing with social misfits like Herbert. It was a bland, patient expression that gave away nothing but covered a variety of unpleasant reactions. To Alexiss delight, a large piece of lettuce had lodged itself between his front teeth and she wasnt about to tell him. It was much too pleasurable to observe his stupid grin with the random bit of greenery adorning it. He just kept rattling on, unaware of the fury that was mounting across the table.
Ive never dated anyone who couldnt go to a paper bag party, he confided. But youre so pretty, theyd have to let you in even though youre so dark. Your hair even looks good, but it would be better long. How come you dont get a weave?
Emilys laugh was choked off by a gasp of horror. Girl, no he didnt! What an idiot.
That was the main reason, of course, but he also took my doggie bag, Alexis said dryly.
He did what? Emily stopped in the middle of wiping away tears of laughter to stare at Alexis.
We went to that Chinese restaurant that serves those huge portions. There was enough food on my plate for three people at least. I couldnt eat it all and I asked for a to-go box. He promptly confiscated it and took it home with him!
Emily looked totally stymied by this revelation. Well, maybe he
Dont try to make excuses for him. He actually said something about how he paid for it and he should be the one to eat it. Sherri heard him because we were walking out to the parking lot and she was right behind us.
Sherri nodded her head vigorously. Yes, he did, girl. He grabbed that thing like he had imminent domain or something. Latched on like there was a winning Powerball ticket in it and hurried to his car as if somebody was going to take it from him. But not before he tried to get a little sugar from the lovely Alexis. Sherri tried not to laugh when she said it, but a few giggles crept out, anyway.
Emily made a face. He tried to kiss you? Ewwww!
Sherri couldnt contain her laughter anymore. He tried and succeeded, didnt he?
He mumbled something about gettin a little sugar from his sugar and before I could react his mouth was on me like a vacuum cleaner hose. Im sure the memory of that impromptu embrace is going to haunt me for the rest of my days, Alexis said glumly. She brightened up and added, But hes gonna remember it, too, because I kneed him right in his party favors. His little favors.