Seems to me John is the one who started it.
She just looked at him, and he knew what she was thinking. Finally he shrugged, his palms up. Yah, all right, I know. Its not my business. I just dont like to see him take advantage of you.
Ill handle it. Rebecca retreated into herself. Clearly, she had nothing else to say.
He had a few more arguments hed like to express, but he restrained himself. Turning back to his work, he had to start again with the measurements, having totally forgotten what hed come up with. It didnt help that he watched Rebecca covertly all the time he was doing it.
She might not be talking, but her body language was clear enough, with that stiff back and tight face. Why was she so determined to handle everything on her own? It wasnt natural in an Amish family, where helping each other was considered Gods plan, and that sort of independence drew very near to pride, about the worst thing for an Amish person. But if he said that to her, shed probably never speak to him again.
Finally Rebecca seemed to pull herself out of her worried thoughts. She moved toward him, so he looked up from his work, and his heart twisted. Rebecca looked as if she were picking up a burden that was too heavy for her.
Youll have to stop work. She blurted the words out and then sucked in a breath. Im sorry. This isnt fair to you, but...
We talked about this. His voice might be calm, but his thoughts were spinning rapidly, trying to come up with a way to change her mind. You have already paid for the materials, and you dont owe me anything until the job is finished. Surely by then your brother-in-law will have paid what he owes you.
Rebeccas hands clung to each other until the knuckles were white. That would not be fair. I cant accept your work when I dont know when or if Ill have the money to pay you.
Ach, Rebecca, I would do the work for nothing for an old friend. The money doesnt matter.
It matters to me, she snapped. I wont accept charity.
Charity? He straightened, his own temper finally flaring, although he wasnt sure whom he was angrier at, Rebecca or that brother-in-law of hers. Whos talking about charity? The Fishers and the Kings have been doing things for each other for a hundred years. Seems to me your time away from here has made you forget a lot of things. Its made you prideful.
He shouldnt have said that, but he could be just as determined as she could. Rebecca might have been able to push him into a mud puddle once and not have him shove back, but she wasnt going to push him around now.
Rebeccas face had tightened into a mask that bore little resemblance to the girl shed been. Prideful or not, this is my decision. And my house. Please put down your tools and stop. Now.
And when Lige comes back ready to help me? How are you going to explain that to him?
Lige is my son. Ill tell him what he needs to hear.
Daniel stared at her for a long minute, trying to make sense of her attitude. He couldnt.
If you reject my help, Rebecca, you are rejecting our friendship.
He knew he shouldnt have said it the instant the words were out, but it was too late. Rebecca took a step away from him. She crossed her arms.
Please go, Daniel.
There was nothing for it but to pick up his tool bag and leave, berating himself the whole time for handling her so badly. And yet, what else could he have done?
The trouble was that he kept thinking he knew her, and maybe he was wrong. Maybe he didnt know Rebecca at all.
* * *
Rebecca didnt look forward to telling Lige that the project was off and he wouldnt be working with Daniel for now. She waited until they were walking back to the farmhouse, thinking it would be easier away from the place he connected with Daniel. It would hurt, but she assumed hed take it as silently as he did everything else.
But in this, she was wrong. To her astonishment, her quiet little son started to argue with her. Lige, who never spoke up for himself, was actually disagreeing.
But, Mammi, you cant do that. Daniel wants to work on the shop with me. You cant! He tugged on her apron, as if that would make her see reason.
She stared at him, trying to gather her wits. Im sorry, Lige. I know youre disappointed, but thats how it is right now. When I can afford to pay Daniel, hell come back. Youll see.
But I want to work with him now. It was almost a wail. Wont he come back now if you ask him?
Rebecca bit her tongue to keep from saying something that would put the blame on Daniel. She couldnt be that unjust to him, even if it were easier on her. Daniel is willing, but it wouldnt be fair. Carpentry is how he makes his living. He has to be free to accept jobs for people who can pay.
Liges lower lip came out in a decided pout. Hed rather work for us. I know. We make him smile.
Daniel is friendly. He smiles at everyone.
Not like that. Please, Mammi. Please, please, please.
Her father came around the house in time to hear Liges words, and his face crinkled. It sounds as if this boy really wants something. What is it, Lige? A cookie?
Lige shook his head. Mammi says Daniel cant work for us anymore because we dont have money to pay him. But Daniel would, wouldnt he? You tell her, Grossdaadi.
Her fathers gaze studied her face, and she longed to turn away but couldnt. Daadi touched Liges cheek lightly. Ill tell you what. You go and help Grossmammi with the cookies shes making, and Ill talk to your mamm.
Snickerdoodles? Lige asked hopefully. At his grandfathers nod, he darted off, leaving Rebecca to face what would probably be a lecture.
Lets sit down on the steps.
She wanted to argue, but she couldnt. Daadi led her to the porch steps and waited while she took a seat.
I know what youre going to say, but I dont want you to pay Daniel. I need to do this by myself. Dont you see?
No. I dont. Her father didnt scold. Instead, he seemed disappointed. Did John Mast not send the money he owes?
She shook her head. He wrote and said he couldnt right now. The point is that I cant let Daniel keep working if I cant pay him. It wouldnt be right.
What did Daniel say to that?
He offered to keep on working. She evaded his steady gaze.
How did you convince him to stop, then?
Shed never doubted her fathers wisdom. He could go straight to the heart of what his children werent saying to him. I...I said something that hurt his feelings. But it wasnt all my fault. He was the one who...
Rebecca let that trail off, because it was starting to sound like her explanations of the quarrels shed had with her brothers when they were small.
Daadi gave her a disappointed look. He is your friend, Rebecca. I shouldnt have to tell you what you must do when youve hurt a friend.
She wanted to argue, but she couldnt think of a thing to say. Daniel shouldnt have pushed her into that position. But she certain sure should have found a way of dealing with him that didnt involve causing him pain.
Sitting there debating with herself wasnt getting her anywhere. She didnt have to let Daniel continue to work for her, but she did have to ask his forgiveness for her anger. She pushed herself to her feet.
You will find Daniel in his workshop, Daadi said calmly. I saw him go in a few minutes ago.
Rebecca headed reluctantly toward the King place. She should have hired someone she didnt know to do the work for her, she thought rebelliously. Then she wouldnt have been put in this position.
Daniels shop was a square-frame building situated at a little distance from the barns. Daad had told her that hed built up quite a business for himself in the past couple of years, even doing some kitchen remodeling for a few Englisch families. Daniel was a hard worker who deserved success, and that wouldnt come if he spent his time on work he wasnt paid to do.
The sound of a saw reached her even before she opened the shop door. A motorized saw, as it turned out. Daniel had apparently found it worthwhile to install a generator for his business, much as dairy farmers like Sam and Daniels brother had to do for their milking equipment.
She stopped inside the door, trying to find the right words while she waited. Daniel must have seen the movement when she entered, but he finished what he was cutting before he stopped the saw and stood, pulling off the safety goggles he wore.
Rebecca. I didnt think Id see you over here. His voice didnt express anythingnot anger, not apology, nothing.
Unable to find the right words, she looked around the shop. This is a fine setup you have here. Daad says that youve been doing a lot of remodeling jobs. It looks as if you could handle most anything with all this equipment.
I dont think you came here to admire my shop, Rebecca.
He wasnt going to make it easier for her, in other words. Rebellion flared. He was the one whod equated their friendship with letting him work without pay, after all.
Unfortunately, she also knew full well that if she hadnt been totally caught up in her problems, she could have handled it better, without the need for this breach between them.
She sucked in a deep breath, knowing what she had to say. I came to tell you Im sorry. Getting that news was a blow, but I had no right to take it out on you. Please forgive me.
His eyes were very dark in the muted light of the shop, and she couldnt tell what he was thinking. If shed broken their friendship entirely... Panic flashed like lightning, showing her what that would mean.
Ill forgive you on one condition. Now his smile was back, and her heart lifted. You let me keep working on the shop.
Maybe I didnt explain it very well. She struggled to hold on to her emotions. When I came back, I made a promise to myself that I wouldnt lean on anyone else. The way shed leaned on James. I would stand on my own two feet.
Nothing wrong with that, he said, except that its not the Amish way. We help one another, as you know very well. You wouldnt hesitate to help me if I needed it. Like Sam, over here every day to help do our milking, as well as his own, when Caleb was laid up. Thats what we do.
Her arguments were being cut from under her, and she struggled to find a solution they both could accept.
Daniel crossed the distance between them and stood, smiling at her. Whats wrong? Cant find anything else to say? His voice teased her gently.
Nothing that wouldnt necessitate another apology, she said tartly. Suppose we do this. You let me help. Surely there are things I can do. And you dont turn down other jobs to work for me.
Deal, Daniel said. He grinned at her. See, that wasnt so hard, was it?
Shed tell him it was, but he wouldnt understand. None of them would, because they didnt know what her life had been like with James.
It hadnt been his fault, she told herself once again. The injury was to blame.
Whether that was true or not, she had to walk away from the past. She had to accept Daniels help to do so. He held the door open to her new life, but she had to pass through, and she would.