And they knew it, too.
Sickened, I switched off the TV and flopped back on the bed, dragging my hands down my face. What now? How could I go on like this, knowing Talon would lie, that they would use me and more innocent people would get caught in the cross fire?
I could hear my trainers thin, high voice echoing in my head, mocking me. There is no such thing as an innocent casualty, agent, it said. This is a war, and people will die. That is the ugly truth of it. A few human deaths should not concern you.
But they did. A lot. Maybe I was the exception; maybe no other dragon in Talon cared if a few janitors were killed because they had been at the wrong place at the wrong time. But I did. And now more people were dead because of me.
My phone vibrated beside me on the quilt. Sitting up, I grabbed it as the screen came to life, showing a new message.
Stop moping, it read, indicating no one but my trainer, the Chief Basilisk himself. Brusque and to the point as always, but somehow finding ways to insult me. A car will be at your location in five minutes. You have a new assignment.
Another mission? So soon? Dammit, I had just barely completed this one, and I was tired. More than tired. Sickened. Numb. Furious. Both with myself and with Talon. I didnt want to go back. I wanted to lock myself in a room and drink an insane amount of alcohol, until the scene on the news faded out of my mind. Id be equally happy to stalk into an office and ream someone out, possibly with fire and a lot of cuss words. The last thing I wanted was to be called back for another assignment.
But what else could I do?
Methodically, I rose and began packing my things. Talons word was law; the opinions of a juvenile Basilisk agent didnt concern them. They would send me out on another mission, and they would continue to do so, regardless of what I wanted. But I had the ominous, sneaking suspicion that I was reaching the limit of how far I could be pushed, used, lied to. One word hovered at the back of my mind, constant and terrifying, appearing in my thoughts no matter how hard I tried to shove it back.
Rogue.
Garret
Six hours till dawn.
I lay on my cot with my hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling of my cell, watching the cracks blur and run together. Around me, the jail block was dark, quiet. The only light came from beneath the door to the guard station at the end of the hall, and I was the only prisoner in the room. Id been given my last meal hours agorations and water, as the Order didnt believe in final requestsand it had been delivered by a cold-faced soldier who had spit dragonlover at me before tossing it to the floor. Where it still lay, untouched, near the front of the cell.
Six hours till dawn. Six hours before my cell door would open, and a pair of soldiers would step through, announcing that it was time. Id be handcuffed, escorted across the training field and taken to the long brick wall facing the rising sun. There would be witnesses, of course. The Perfect Soldier was about to be executed for treason; there would probably be a crowd. Perhaps the entire base would turn out. I wondered if Tristan would be there, and Lieutenant Martin. I didnt know if they would come; truthfully, I wasnt certain I wanted them to witness my final moments, as a traitor to the Order. There would be a line of soldiers standing in front of that wall, six of them, all with loaded rifles. I would be taken before them, offered a blindfold, which I would refuse, and then Id be left standing there alone, facing them all. The countdown would begin.
Ready
Aim
Fire!
I shivered, unable to stop myself. I wasnt afraid to die; Id prepared myself for death many times before. In the field, before a strike on a nest, or facing down a single dragonwe all knew that, at any moment, we could be killed. Soldiers died; it was a fact of life, one you couldnt predict or avoid. There was no tactical reason the soldier standing just inches away would take a bullet to the temple and I would be spared. I was alive because I was good at what I did, but sometimes Id just gotten lucky.
But there was a distinction between cheating death and knowing the exact time it would come for you, down to the last second. And there was a difference between dying in battle and standing there with your hands behind your back, waiting for your former brothers in armsthe very soldiers you had fought with, bled withto kill you.
Five and a half hours till dawn.
I didnt regret my choice. Id meant every word I said in the courtroom. And if it came down to it again, and I stood on that beach with the dragon I was sent to kill, knowing that if I let her go I would die instead I would still choose to save her.
But I had betrayed my Order, and everything I knew, to side with the enemy. Id seen fellow soldiers die in front of me, torn apart by claws or blasted with dragonfire. Id watched squad mates throw themselves in front of bullets or charge into the fray alone, just to give the rest of us an advantage. I knew I deserved death. Id turned my back on the Order that raised me, the brothers who had died for the cause, to save our greatest foes. I knew I should feel remorse, crushing guilt, for family Id betrayed.
But lying on my cot, mere hours from my own execution, all I could think of was her. Where was she now? What was she doing? Did she think of me at all, or had I been long forgotten in the flight from Crescent Beach with the rest of her kind? Surely thered be no reason for a soldier of St. George to cross her mind; she was free, she was with her own, and I was part of the Order. I was still the enemy of her people. Though it made me sick to think of it now, the number that had died by my hand. Ember should hate me. I deserved nothing less.
But I still hoped she thought of me sometimes. And as the minutes of my life continued to slip away, I found myself thinking more and more of the moments wed shared. Wondering what wouldve happenedhad we both been normal. I knew that wishing was wasted energy, and regret changed nothing, but for perhaps the first time in my life, I wished wed had more time. If Id known what would happen, I would have spent every moment I could with her. I would have done a lot of things differently, but it was too late now. Ember was gone, and in a few hours, I was going to die. Nothing would change that, but at least her face would be the last thing on my mind before I left this world.
I hope youre happy, Ember, wherever you are. I hopeyoull always be free.
Five hours till dawn.
Ember
Wake up, Firebrand. Rileys voice was soft and deep, and my dragon stirred to life at his touch. Its 2:00 a.m. Fifteen minutes till go time.
I lifted my head from the pillow, fighting the grogginess pulling me down. The room was dark; only one lamp had been left on, and outside the sky was black. I hadnt thought I could sleep, but I mustve been more exhausted than Id felt. After the three of us had gone over the plan, Riley had told me once more to get some rest, and Id drifted off almost as soon as my head touched the pillow.
I lifted my head from the pillow, fighting the grogginess pulling me down. The room was dark; only one lamp had been left on, and outside the sky was black. I hadnt thought I could sleep, but I mustve been more exhausted than Id felt. After the three of us had gone over the plan, Riley had told me once more to get some rest, and Id drifted off almost as soon as my head touched the pillow.
The plan. I sat up as my heart began an irregular thud in my chest. It was time. This was it. Tonight we were going after Garret.
Better get dressed, Riley said, nodding to my backpack on the bed. He had changed, too. No longer in dusty jeans and a white T-shirt beneath his jacket, he now wore a dark shirt that clung to his chest and arms, black jeans, gloves and a belt with several compartments and pouches on the side. At the desk, Wes was garbed in all black, too, a ski cap perched on his head. But he looked sullen and scared, like hed rather be doing anything else. Riley, looming over me at the edge of the mattress, looked completely in his element, and my heart gave a weird little flip in my chest.
Come on, Firebrand, Riley urged as I sat there, blinking at him. Were sort of on a time schedule, here. Get your ninja suit on, and lets go.
Right. Shaking the final cobwebs from my brain, I grabbed the backpack from the corner and hurried to the bathroom. Unzipping the top, I rummaged around until I found what I was looking for and pulled it out.
The sleek black bodysuit unfurled in my hands like a spill of ink, shaking free of wrinkles, creases, everything. It had been a final gift from my trainer when Id graduated basic training and wouldve started my real education. The formfitting suit was specifically tailored for me and would not rip or tear like normal clothes when I Shifted into my true form. The constantly warm, clinging fabric seemed to melt into my skin when I changed, and still covered my body when I turned back, so it was probably the coolest thing I owned.
It was, Id discovered later, the outfit of the Vipers, Talons deadly and notorious assassins, which was what theyd wanted me to become, too. Needless to say, I had issues with hunting down and killing my own kind simply because Talon ordered it. Talons rule was absolute, and the Vipers were used to silence dragons who werent loyal to the organization. Dragons like Riley who had gone rogue. I couldnt do it. And because Talon wouldnt accept no for an answer, Id gone rogue, too. That was the main reason Id left the organization. I would not become a Viper like my trainer, Lilithruthless and unmerciful, willing to kill without a second thought. I refused to turn into that.
But the suit definitely came in handy.
I slipped into the outfit, shuddering as the fabric sucked at my skin, melding to my body. Yeah, the magic ninja suit was awesome, but the way it felt almost alive was still creepy as hell. After putting on my shoes and shoving my normal clothes into my backpack, I left the bathroom and nearly bumped into Riley on the other side of the door.
He put out his hands to steady me, but quickly pulled them back with a grimace. I frowned in confusion.
What? Do I smell or something?
No, he muttered, not meeting my gaze. Sorry. Its not you, Firebrand, its just He made a vague gesture at me. That thing. Brings back fun memories, if you know what I mean.
I suddenly realized the problem. I look like a Viper, I said, and he nodded.
When youve been out of Talon as long as I have, the last thing you want to see is that outfit. Because it usually means youre fighting or running for your life.
Im a rogue now, too, Riley.
I know. He reached out and brushed the base of my neck. A jolt of heat surged through me from that spot, as his fingers lingered on my skin. Rileys gold eyes almost glowed in the shadows. Im glad youre here, Firebrand, he said, his voice low and soft. Im glad I wont have to meet you down the road someday as a Viper. That would kill me, having to fight you. His mouth twitched in a faint smile. You have no idea how relieved I am that you left the organization. That you saw Talon for what it really is.
I swallowed, the warmth spreading through my whole body as the dragon rose to the surface, pushing against my fragile human shell. The Viper suit tightened, flattening to my skin until it felt like I wasnt wearing anything at all. I could Shift, I realized. Right here in this tiny hotel room. What did I have to lose? No one would see me but Riley and Wes. And then, if I Shifted, Riley would probably change, too. I wanted him to. I wanted to see his true self, his other self, the one who called to my dragon and who peered down at me with gleaming golden eyes.
Cobalt.
Get it together, Ember. I breathed deep to cool my lungs, to calm the fire spreading through me, and tried to grin back. Yeah, well, I bet you didnt know what you were getting into, I said lightly.
Doesnt matter. Riley dropped his arm and stepped back as if he couldnt bear to touch me anymore. Or perhaps, if he kept touching me, a large blue dragon would suddenly make a very explosive appearance in the middle of the hotel room. But if we live through this, you owe me, Firebrand. Big-time. He glanced at Wes, who was packing his laptop into a shoulder bag, his jaw set. Everyone ready? Once we start, theres no turning back. Wes?
Piss off was the sullen answer. Like I have any sort of choice. When youre killed by St. George, dont expect me to babysit two dozen bloody hatchlings the rest of my life.
Riley ignored that. Well take two vehicles until were a couple miles from the base. From there, well go the rest of the way on foot. Wes, how close will you need to be to pick up their signal?
Bloody too close, Wes muttered. But it shouldnt be hard to find, since theyll be the only ones within a hundred miles putting one out. The challenge will be jacking in without raising any kind of alarm.
If you do have to move closer, dont go in the van. Last thing we need is for them to see headlights cruising toward them across the desert.
Oh, really? Is that what Ill want to do, then? Wes zipped his bag ferociously. Silly me, here I was thinking we needed big neon signs that said Here We Are, Shoot Us Please on top of the roof.
Riley rolled his eyes but didnt comment. ETA at the St. George perimeter will be zero three hundred. Once were finished inside, well meet at the rendezvous and get the hell out of Dodge. Ember He turned, and his gaze met mine. Youre with me. Lets go.
* * *
The drive to the Arizona/Utah line was silent and mostly empty. Few cars passed us on the long stretch of highway across the Mojave Desert. Overhead, the moon peered down like a sleepy, half-lidded eye, surrounded by a billion stars that stretched on forever. Out here in the desert, many miles from cities or lights or civilization, the sky called to me. I thought of Shifting, of leaping off the bike, changing forms midair and soaring through the empty sky. Annoyed, I pushed all tempting thoughts to the back of my mind, willing my dragon to settle down. In a couple hours, we would be sneaking into a heavily armed base filled with soldiers whose main goal was the complete genocide of our species. There were more important things to focus on than midnight flights in the desert heat.
Garret. I hope youre okay. Hang in there, were coming for you.