When we started getting too serious, my mother came up with a simple plan to get rid of him. I had let him into the house when she wasnt there, and she claimed money was missing from her desk drawer. She said Zach had taken it, and she threatened to prosecute if he didnt go away and leave me alone. The words were as dry as dust in her mouth. He was ready to leave Deer Run behind, anyway, I suppose. He wanted me to go with him. I said no. She set the mugs on the table with a clunk and sank into her chair.
Rachel studied her face for a moment. Did you love him?
A fair question, wasnt it? In a similar situation, Rachel had run off to marry Ronnie Mason, to the dismay of both their families. It hadnt turned out well, but at least Rachel had her little Mandy by way of compensation.
I thought I did. Meredith shook her head. No point in evading the truth. Yes, I loved him. I just didnt have the courage to go with him.
Maybe you did the best thing. Rachels voice was gentle.
I doubt that Zach saw it that way. He ended up branded a thief because of me. She sucked in a breath. Now hes back, and hes... She hesitated, trying to find the word to express what shed sensed from him. ...bitter, I guess. I cant blame him. I just wish I knew what to say to him.
Maybe you need to tell him how sorry you are. For your sake, if not for his. Rachel had a way of going to the emotional heart of the matter.
Im not sure hed want to hear it. She saw again the dark intensity of his gaze.
If hes not willing to forgive you, then thats his right. Rachel still had a typically Amish attitude toward right and wrong. But youll have cleared the slate, and you can move on.
Meredith stared down into the amber liquid in her cup, as if shed see an answer in its depths. Suppose...suppose I find I dont want to move on. What if I still have feelings for him?
Rachel didnt speak for a moment. Either way, isnt it better to know the truth?
The truth. The words were an echo of what Sarah had said to her earlier. Life seemed easier, somehow, if you could settle for a polite fiction that glossed over the difficult facts. But some people would only be satisfied by the truth, and she had an uncomfortable feeling that she might be one of them.
Rachel leaned back, sipping her tea, ready to talk or listen or forget, whatever Meredith needed. A wave of gratitude went through her. Maybe that was really the definition of a friend... Someone who could hear all the bad stuff, empathize and then let it slip away.
She took a gulp of her tea, letting the hot liquid dissolve the lump that had formed in her throat.
I met with my cousin Sarah this afternoon, she said, abruptly changing the subject. Apparently rumors are going around that Aaron Mast killed himself.
Rachels clear blue eyes clouded. Oh, no. We tried to be so careful not to let anyone know what wed found.
Im beginning to think theres no such thing as a secret in Deer Run, Meredith said. Sarahs so upset about it. And Aarons parents, as well. She asked me to find out if its really true.
I can understand how they feel. Suicide goes against everything the Amish believe. But how are we supposed to come up with something new after all this time?
Meredith appreciated the we. Rachel wouldnt let her deal with the problem alone. At this point, I dont have a single idea. But Id like to go through the scrapbook we kept that summer again. Would you mind if I picked it up?
She, Rachel and their friend Lainey Colton had kept a scrapbook of their imaginary world that summer, filled with their observations and the illustrations Lainey had drawn. Meredith had already been through it several dozen times, but perhaps there was something shed missed.
Ill drop it off for you, Rachel said, still looking concerned. She glanced at her watch. I didnt realize how late it was getting. I hate to cut this short, but I told Mamm to send Mandy home at four-thirty.
No problem. At the moment, I dont have any idea of how to do what Sarah wants. She rose, putting the mugs in the sink.
Maybe if we both think about it, well come up with something. Rachel touched her arm in silent sympathy. As for the other...well, try not to worry too much about Zach. Hes not a boy any longer. Hes responsible for his own happiness.
Or unhappiness, Meredith added silently. Still, Zach hadnt seemed unhappy. Just bitter.
Say hi to Mandy and your folks for me. Meredith walked with her to the back porch. The breach between Rachel and her family over her leaving the Amish faith had healed, and Rachel considered herself fortunate to live only a stones throw from her parents farm on the far side of the covered bridge over the creek.
Meredith stood for a moment on the back stoop, watching as Rachel cut across the intervening backyard. All of the backyards on this side of the road ended at the creek, which formed a boundary between the village on this side and the Amish farms on the other. Meredith kept her backyard mowed to just beyond the garage, as her father always had. A little farther on, a tangled border of raspberry bushes spanned the space to the trees that crowded along the creek banks.
If she went down the path behind the garage, it would lead her to the small dam that emptied into a wide, inviting pool. The pool where Aaron Mast died.
A breeze touched her and set the branches moving, a few leaves detaching themselves to flutter to the ground. The sun was just beginning to slip behind the mountain, but the shadows already lay deep under the trees around the pond.
She rubbed her arms, unaccountably chilled. She hadnt liked going to the dam since that summer. It had figured in too many bad dreams.
She didnt believe it was haunted by ghosts. That was nonsense. But it certainly was haunted by memories.
CHAPTER TWO
MARGO SLIPPED AWAY from the kitchen door, her terry-cloth slippers making no sound at all. But she wouldnt be heard in any event. Meredith had gone out on the back porch with her friend. Shed never know her mother had been out of bed at all.
A lady doesnt eavesdrop. It wasnt polite. But what was she to do when her own daughter kept secrets from her?
Margos anger flickered as she made her way up the stairs, her hand on the railing for support. Really, Meredith should have better sense, but it certainly wasnt her fault. No one could say that Margo hadnt done her best to raise her only daughter properly.
It was a mothers duty to protect her child, even when that child was an unmarried woman of thirty. She winced, Merediths age reminding her uncomfortably of just how old she was. Still, her friends assured her she didnt look a day over fifty.
Margo padded into her bedroom, sending a satisfied glance at her image in the mirror. Like a Dresden doll, her father had said of her the evening shed gone to her first dance. Certainly the boys had agreed. Shed had her pick of boyfriends. If only she hadnt imagined herself in love with John King....
She fluffed up her pillows and settled back against them, frowning a little. The issue now was Meredith, and how she could be protected from her weakness where Zachary Randal was concerned.
Good riddance to bad rubbishthat was what people had said when hed left town all those years ago. Margo had bathed in a glow of righteousness for weeks over her role in making his departure come about. Zach had left, and Meredith had been protected from him. Goodness only knew what might have happened if Margo hadnt intervened when she did.
Shed been so sure the incident was closed after all these years. Who could have imagined that Randal boy would dare to show his face in Deer Run again?
Her breath came too quickly, and Margo forced herself to relax. She mustnt upset herself or shed bring on one of her attacks, and then she wouldnt be able to do anything to save Meredith from herself.
Meredith was still in danger of succumbing to Randals dubious attractions. Margo didnt doubt that for a minute. There was simply something about ones first love that blinded one.
She glanced at the silver-framed photo of John that stood on the bedside table. John hadnt liked having it takensome silly hangover from his Amish upbringing. But shed had no patience with that foolishness and had insisted.
Enough of thinking about the past. She had to decide what to do now. Meredith and Rachel had brought up two distasteful matters in their private little chat.
Why were they so fascinated with Aaron Masts death? It had been an accident, pure and simple. Everyone knew that. As for Sarah asking Meredith to look into itwell, that was just ridiculous, and no more than one could expect from her husbands relatives.
Meredith couldnt possibly know anything about what happened the night Aaron drowned in the pond. She hadnt even been at home. Shed spent the night with another of Johns numerous cousins, at his insistence. If Margo had had her way, Meredith would have had no communication with those people. But John, usually so compliant and eager to please her, had stood firm on that subject.
Margo sifted through memories. Odd, how some incidents formed landmarks in a persons mind. She remembered that night clearly because of what had happened early the next morning. Shed gone downstairs to find Bill Kramer, his fishing rod still dangling from his hand, pounding on the back door and insisting on using the telephone because someone was dead in the pond.
Margo pulled the silky comforter up to her chin. The accident had probably happened in the late evening, people had said. Meredith hadnt been home, thank goodness. John hadnt, either. Hed gone back to the harness shop to work on an order.
Margos lips tightened at the remembered grievance. All the men in her family had been professionalsdoctor, pharmacist, teacherbut John had insisted on opening his harness business right here in Deer Run. Worse, hed left her alone in the house the evening that boy had drowned.
Still, his callousness had an unexpected benefit now. If anyone in the family knew anything about the Mast boys death, she would.
Margo glanced at the window, shielded by the shade Meredith had pulled down. It faced the driveway, down which someone might have walked to reach the creek. People shouldnt trespass, of course, but they did. And the window would have been open on a summer evening.
Memories began to stir and shift in her mind. Consider how satisfying it would be if Margo was the one who remembered something important about that night. It would certainly show Meredith she wasnt the only smart one in the family.
Margo leaned back against the pillows, indulging in a rosy daydream. Of herself, the heroine of the hour, graciously telling her story to a chosen few. Of Meredith, looking on admiringly.
As long as she was dreaming, she might just as well dream of a means of getting rid of Zach Randal again, this time for good.
* * *
ZACH ARRIVED RIGHT ON TIME for his meeting with the attorney the next day. Evans and Son. The gilt letters on the window of the office werent exactly a surprise. Jake Evans had been slotted to go into his fathers law firm from the day he was born, hed bet.
Zach paused for a second, his hand on the doorknob, remembering. Jake had been in his class in school, so they were about the same age. There the similarity between them ended.
Jake had been one of the in crowd, the people who lived in the big old houses along Maple Street and Main Street, the ones whose fathers had worn coats and ties to work every day, who never had to wonder if thered be food in the house.
The in crowd hadnt had much time for somebody like Zach Randal in those days. He didnt figure much had changed in that respect, not in Deer Run. He swung the door open and went into the outer office with a determined step.
The middle-aged receptionist didnt look familiar, but she eyed him as if his reputation had preceded him. Either that or he didnt look as good as hed thought he did after a nights sleep and a shower and shave.
Mr. Randal? One moment please. Ill let Mr. Evans know youre here.
Her finger moved to a button on her desk, but before she could push it, one of the two doors behind her desk swung open. Jake Evans stood there, giving him a quick, assessing glance before his face eased into a smile.
Zach, come on in. Its been a long time. Good to see you.
Zach allowed himself to be ushered into the inner office, where the latest thing in computers seemed to argue with a heavy oak desk that would fit more readily with a fountain pen and legal pad. Zach swept the room with a comprehensive glance, accustomed to sizing up his surroundings swiftly.
The office was clearly a study in contrasts, with the taste of the elder Evans jockeying for control with that of his son. A small basketball hoop was attached to a black enamel wastepaper basket, and a Phillies ball cap sat rakishly atop a crystal vase on the corner of the bookshelves.
Jake waved him to a chair and folded his lanky, still-athletic frame into the black leather one behind the desk. He moved like the basketball star hed been in high school.
Is Jeannette Walker making you comfortable at the Willows? Jake leaned back and seemed to restrain himself from propping his foot on the wastebasket.
The place isnt bad. He couldnt blame the setting for Jeannettes blatant curiosity.
Just like all of Deer Run and everyone in it. Hed come back because he had to, but given the feelings Meredith had stirred up by a single conversation, hed be better off to sign whatever papers Jake had for him, get rid of the house and head back to his real life.
Jake twirled a pen between his fingers, seeming in no hurry to get down to business. What do you think of Deer Run? Does it look different to you after being away so long?
No. Zach said the word flatly. Look, lets just take care of things so I can get out of here. You didnt have time for me in high school, and I dont see any point in making small talk now.
Jake was immobile for an instant, and then one eyebrow edged its way upward. I hope Ive grown up a little since high school, he said, apparently not taking offense. His grin flickered. Not that my father would agree with that. He still looks at me and sees the kid who embarrassed him by asking both the Hamilton twins to the senior prom. He glanced toward the wall beyond which, Zach assumed, lay the senior Mr. Evanss office.
That must have caused quite a stir. He remembered the Hamilton twinsidentical daughters of the then mayor. But he didnt remember the prom. Afraid I was gone by then.
Right. Jakes gaze slid away from his, as if he was embarrassed hed mentioned the prom. He shuffled through a file folder on the desk. Well, to business.
Zach nodded, the movement curt. He didnt want any side excursions into high school memories. He had intended to take Meredith to their senior prom, going so far as to sell his beat-up old car in order to have enough money to do it right. But fate, in the shape of Margo King, had intervened.