He missed that.
He missed her.
And he had to wonder if she missed him. Neither of them had married, after all. According to the gossips, shed never given a soupçon of encouragement to any of the legion of suitors only too ready to offer for the hand of the heiress who would one day own the Carmichael Shipyards.
It had taken him mere seconds to review their past. Regardless of that past, she stood in his office prepared to do battle to be allowed to spend weeks aboard The Corsair.
Weeks on board the ship he captained, during which she wouldnt be able to avoid him.
Weeks during which he could press her to engage in direct communication, enough to resolve the situation that still existed between them sufficiently for them both to put it behind them and go on.
Or to put right whatever had gone wrong and try again.
In response to his silence, her eyes had steadily darkened; he could still follow her thoughts reasonably well. Of all the females of his acquaintance, she was the only one who would even contemplate enacting him a scenelet alone a histrionically dramatic one. One part of him actually hoped...
As if reading his mind, she narrowed her eyes. Her lips tightened. Then, quietly, she stated, You owe me, Royd.
It was the first time in eight years that shed said his name in that private tone that still reached to his soul. More, it was the first reference shed made to their past since shutting Ionas door in his face.
And he still wasnt sure what she meant. For what did he owe her? He could think of several answers, none of which shed all that much light on the question that, where she was concerned, filled his mindand had for the past eight years.
He wasnt at all sure of the wisdom of the impulse that gripped him, but it was so very strong, he surrendered and went with it. The Corsair leaves on the morning tide on Wednesday. Youll need to be on the wharf before daybreak.
She searched his eyes, then crisply nodded. Thank you. Ill be there.
With that, she swung on her heel, marched to the door, opened it, and swept out.
He watched her go, grateful that she hadnt closed the door, allowing him to savor the enticing side-to-side sway of her hips.
Hips hed once held as a right as hed buried himself in her softness...
Registering the discomfort his tellingly vivid memories had evoked, he grunted. He surreptitiously adjusted his breeches, then rounded the desk, crossed to the door, and looked out.
Gladys Featherstone stared at him as if expecting a reprimand.
He beckoned. Ive orders for you to send out.
He retreated to his desk and sank into the chair behind it. He waited until Gladys, apparently reassured, settled on one of the straight-backed chairs, her notepad resting on her knee, then he ruthlessly refocused his mind and started dictating the first of the many orders necessary to allow him to absent himself from Aberdeen long enough to sail to Freetown and back.
To complete the mission that Melville, First Lord of the Admiralty, had, via Wolverstone, requested him to undertake.
And to discover what possibilities remained with respect to him and Isobel Carmichael.
* * *
Dawn wasnt even a suggestion on the horizon when Isobel stepped onto the planks of Aberdeens main wharf. In a traveling gown of bone-colored cambric with a fitted bodice, long, buttoned sleeves, and full skirts, with a waist-length, fur-lined cape over her shoulders, she deemed herself ready to sail. A neat bonnet with wide purple ribbons tied tightly beneath her chin, soft kid gloves, and matching half boots completed her highly practical outfit; shed sailed often enough before, albeit not usually on such a long journey.
She paused to confirm that the five footmen, between them carrying her three trunks, were laboring in her wake, then she turned and strode on.
Flares burned at regular intervals, their flickering light dancing over the scene. The smell of burning pitch and the faint eddies of smoke were overwhelmed by the scent of the seathe mingled aromas of brine, fish, damp stone, sodden wood, and wet hemp.
The Frobisher berths were already abustlea veritable hive of activity. Stevedores lumbered past with kegs and bales balanced on their shoulders, while sailors bearing ropes, tackle, and heavy rolls of canvas sail clambered up gangplanks. Accustomed to the noiseand the cursingshe shut her ears to the crude remarks and boldly walked toward the most imposing vessel, a sleek beauty whose lines she knew well. The Corsair was one of two Frobisher vessels making ready; over the gunwale of the companys flagship, Isobel spied Royds dark head. She halted and studied the sight for an instant, then turned and directed her footmen to deliver her trunks into the hands of the sailors waiting by The Corsairs gangplank.
She was unsurprised when, on noticing her, the sailors leapt to assist. All the men on the wharf and on the nearby ships knew her by sight, much as they knew Royd. Throughout their childhoods, he and she had spent countless hours in these docks and the nearby shipyards. At first unacquainted with each other, theyd explored independently, although Royd had often been accompanied by one or more of his brothers. In contrast, she had always been alonethe only child of a major industrialist. In those long-ago days, these docks had been Royds personal fiefdom, while the shipyards had been hers.
In that respect, not much had changed.
But when Royd had hit eleven and his interest in shipbuilding had bloomed, hed slipped into the shipyards and stumbledmore or less literallyover her.
Shed been a tomboy far more interested in the many and varied skills involved in building ships than in learning her stitches. Although shed initially viewed Royds incursion into her domain with suspicion and a species of scornfor shed quickly realized he hadnt known anywhere near as much as she hadhed equally quickly realized that, as James Carmichaels only child, she had the entree into every workshop and vessel in the yards, and no worker would ignore her questions.
Despite the five years that separated theman age gap that should have prevented any close, long-term associationfrom that moment, Royd had dogged her footsteps. And once shed realized that, as the eldest Frobisher brother, he had access to the entire Frobisher fleet, she had dogged his.
From the first, their relationship had been based on mutual advancementon valuing what the other brought in terms of knowledge and the opportunity to gain more. Theyd both been eager to go through the doors the other could prop wide. Theyd complemented each other even then; as a team, a pair, theyd enabled each other to intellectually blossom.
Theyd encouraged each other, too. In terms of being single-minded, of being driven by their passions, they were much alike.
They still were.
Isobel watched her trunks being ferried aboard and told herself she should follow them. This was what shed wanted, what was necessaryher traveling with Royd to Freetown so she could fetch Katherine back. That was what was importanther first priority. Her second...
When shed informed Iona of her intention to ask Royd to take her to Freetownto browbeat him into it if she had toIona had looked at her for several seconds too long for comfort, then humphed and said, Well see. When shed returned from Royds office and told Iona of her success, her grandmother had scrutinized her even more intently, then said, As hes agreed, I suggest you use the hiatus of the journey there and, if necessary, the journey back to settle whats between you.
Shed opened her mouth to insist that there was nothing to settle, but Iona had silenced her with an upraised hand.
You know Ive never approved of him. Hes ungovernablea law unto himself and always has been. Iona had grimaced and clasped her gnarled hands on the head of her cane. But this state youre both inas if a part of your life has been indefinitely suspendedcannot go on. Neither of you have shown the slightest inclination to marry anyone else. For both your sakes, you and he need to settle this before you become too set in your waysI wouldnt want that for the Frobishers any more than I would wish it for you. Living your life alone isnt a state to aspire to. The pair of you, together, need to decide what is and what isnt, accept that reality, and then move on from there.
Iona had held her gaze, and Isobel hadnt been able to argue. Despite settling things between Royd and her being much easier said than done, she had to acknowledge that Iona had it rightfor multiple reasons, the current situation couldnt go on.
But Ionas reaction to Royd agreeingand when Isobel had reviewed the exchange, shed realized hed agreed without any real fusshad raised the question of why he had. Did he have some ulterior motive in mind with respect to her? Just because shed seen no sign of any such ambition on his part didnt mean it wasnt therenot with Royd.
She glanced up at the ship, then nodded a dismissal to the waiting footmen, hauled in a breath as if strengthening invisible shields, raised her skirts, and started up the gangplank. She couldnt understand why Royd hadnt married someone else; once he did, her way forward would be clear. But he hadnt, so now she was faced with the necessity of exorcising their past and putting it to rest once and for all.
That was her secondary objective for this tripto kill off the hopes that haunted her dreams and prove to her inner, still-yearning self that there truly was no hope of any reconciliation between them.
Hed handfasted with her, warmed her and her bed for three weeks, then disappeared on some voyage for the next thirteen months with no word beyond his initial assurance that the trip would take a few months at most.
And then, without warning or explanation, hed returned.
Hed expected her to welcome him with open arms.
Needless to say, that hadnt happenedshed told him she hadnt wanted to see him again and had shut the door in his too-handsome face.
Handsome is as handsome doesone of Ionas maxims. To Isobels mind, shed lived that, and as witnessed by the past eight years, it hadnt gone well. But for some godforsaken reason, her fascination with Royd had still not died. She needed to use this journey to convince that naive, yearning self who had once loved him with all her heart that Royd Frobisher was no longer the man of her dreams.
She needed to use this journey to eradicate every last vestige of buried hope.
To extinguish the kernel of her once-great love.
Shed been walking upward with her eyes on the wooden plank. She reached the gap in the ships side, raised her headand looked into Royds face. The very same face she would dearly love to strip of its power over her witless senses.
She was a long way from succeeding in that. Her heart performed a silly somersault, and her nerves came alive simply because he was close.
Then he added to her difficulties by extending his hand.
She was quite sure he did it on purpose, to test her. To try, in his usual challenging way, to discover what she intended on the voyagewhether she would insist on the rigid distance she preserved while sailing with him when testing their latest innovation or whether she was going to acknowledge that this voyage was different. That this was personal, not professional.
In for a penny, in for a pound. If she was going to use the journey to resolve what lay between them, she might as well start as she meant to go on.
Steeling her nerves and every one of her senses, she placed her gloved fingers across his palmand clamped down on her reaction as his fingers closed firmlypossessivelyover hers.
Welcome aboard, Isobel. Inclining his head, he handed her down to the deck.
He released her, and she could breathe again. She nodded regally. Again, thank you for agreeing to let me sail with you. She raised her gaze and met his. I know you didnt have to.
A quirk of his black brows spoke volumes.
Captn Royds quartermaster, whod been backing toward them while relaying orders to crew in the rigging, swung around, saw her, grinned, and bobbed his head. Miss Carmichael. Always a pleasure to have you aboard, miss.
Thank you, Williams. She knew and was known to all of Royds crew; all had sailed with him for years. She glanced at Royd. Ill get out of your way.
He waved to the stern deck. If you want to remain on deck until were at sea, youll be least in the way up there.
She assented with a nod and walked to the ladder. Royd followed, but he knew her well enough to allow her to climb unaided; she was more than accustomed to going up and down ladders while wearing skirts.
She felt his gaze on her back until she gained the upper deck. She stepped away from the ladder, then glanced back and down. Royd had already returned to Williams, and they were discussing which sails Royd thought to deploy for sailing out of the harbor.
Once they hit the open seas, hed fly most of his canvas, but negotiating the exit from the basin and the mouth of the Dee required a fine touch and much less power. Courtesy of the improvements she and Royd had made, when under full sail, The Corsair was the fastest ship of her class afloatanother reason shed petitioned him to take her to Freetown. Quite aside from the assured speed, she was eager to see how the alterations shed tested only on short forays into the North Sea performed on a much longer journey.
Lifting her gaze from Royds dark head, she looked along the main deck. From all she could see, they were almost ready to cast off.
Turning, she saw Liam Stewart, Royds lieutenant, standing ready at the wheel. He glanced her way and smiled.
She smiled back and nodded. Mr. Stewart.
Miss Carmichaelwelcome aboard. I hear youre sailing south with us all the way to Africa.
Indeed. I have business in Freetown. She realized that where Royd had been, so, too, had Stewart. I take it youve visited the settlement before.
Stewart nodded. Weve sailed into the harbor there several times, but not in the past...it must be four years. He cast her an apologetic glance. Being a relatively new settlement, it will have changed significantly since last we were there.
She grimaced, but Stewart wasnt the man who would be by her side when she ventured into the settlement in search of her cousin.
I need to run through the checks on the rudder. Royd and I normally do that together, butStewart nodded down the shiphes busy resetting those rigging lines. Would you like to stand in for him?
Nothing would give me greater pleasure. She walked purposefully toward him. Meeting his widening eyes, she smiled sweetly and reached for the wheel. But if you think Im going to be the one hanging over the stern, youre sadly mistaken.
He grinned sheepishly and surrendered the wheel. While she swung the wheel, halting at the usual positions, he checked that the rudder responded freely and swung to the correct angle.