The music spiralled round and round above our heads. Just like me, it was trying to get out.
How interesting, Hudson said. Well, if you really are looking for something local, in fact I know of a temporary part-time job which might fit the bill. Its actually in the Close and to some extent you could choose the hours you work. But I dont know whether it would suit you. Or indeed whether you would suit it. He smiled at me, taking the sting from the words. I want someone to catalogue the Cathedral Library.
I stared blankly at him. Still smiling, he stared back.
But I wouldnt know where to start, I said. Surely youd need a librarian or a scholar or someone like that? Its not the sort of thing I could do.
How do you know?
Its obvious.
Mrs Appleyard, whats obvious to me is that it could suit us both if you were able to help. So its worth investigating, dont you think?
I shrugged, ungracious to the last.
Why dont you have a look at the library now? It wont take a moment.
He was a persistent little man and in the end it was easier to do what he wanted than to refuse. He fetched a key from the vestry and then took me over to a door at the west end of the south choir aisle. He unlocked it and we stepped into a long vaulted room.
Suddenly it was much lighter. On the east wall, high above my head, were two great Norman windows filled with plain glass. A faded Turkish runner ran from the door along the length of the rooms long axis towards a pair of tables at the far end. On either side of the runner were wooden bookcases, seven feet high, dividing the room into bays. The temperature wasnt much warmer than in the Cathedral itself, which meant it felt chilly even to someone inured to the draughts of the Dark Hostelry.
Originally the room would have been two chapels opening out of the south transept, Peter Hudson said. It was converted into a library for the Cathedral in the eighteen-seventies. No one knows for sure, but we think there must be at least nine or ten thousand books here, possibly more.
We walked the length of the room. I looked at the rank after rank of spines, most vertical, a few horizontal, bound in leather, bound in cloth. The air smelled of dust and dead paper. I already knew I didnt have the training to do a job like this and probably not the aptitude either. But what I saw now was the sheer physical immensity of it.
One night at Hillgard House, Janet and I had sneaked out of our dormitory, slipped down the stairs and out of a side door. The sky was clear. We were in the middle of the country and in any case there was a blackout because it was wartime. We lay on our backs on the lawn, feeling the dew soaking through our nightdresses, and stared up at the summer sky.
How many stars are there? Janet murmured.
And Id said, You could never count them.
Terror had risen in me, a sort of awe. Facing all those books in the Cathedral Library I felt the same awe, only once removed from panic. Like the night sky, the library was too big. It contained too many things. I just wasnt on the right scale for it.
Im sorry, I dont think this will work.
Lets sit down and talk about it, Hudson suggested.
At the end of the room were two large tables and an ill-assorted collection of what looked like retired dining chairs. Behind the tables was a cupboard built along the length of the wall. Hudson pulled out one of the chairs and dusted it with his handkerchief. I sat down.
Its such a big job, and anyway I wouldnt know how to do it. I expect a lot of the books are valuable. I could damage them.
He dusted another chair and sat down with a sigh of relief. Clasping his hands on the table, he smiled at me. Let me tell you what the job would entail before you make up your mind.
Arent there medieval manuscripts? I wouldnt have the first idea how to read them.
The Cathedral does possess a few medieval manuscripts and early printed books. But theyre not here. Theyre either under lock and key in the Treasury or theyre on loan to Cambridge University Library or the British Museum. Nothing to worry about there.
If you say so.
You see, this library is a relatively recent affair. What happened was this in the nineteenth century Dean Pellew left the Cathedral his books, about twelve hundred volumes. Thats the nucleus of the collection. He also left us a sum of money as an endowment. So the chapter has a separate library fund which is there for buying new books and which can also be used for paying an assistant to manage the day-to-day work of the library. When the endowment was set up it was arranged that one of the canons should be the librarian and oversee the running of it. My immediate predecessor took over in 1931. He died in office last year so he had a long run for his money. But he didnt do much with the library. Hudson smiled at me. And for the last ten years of his life, I doubt if he gave it a thought. Somehow it came to be understood that Cathedral librarian was one of those honorary posts. Weve got enough of those on the Foundation, heaven knows. And then I took over.
Janet said theres a possibility the books might be given to the Theological College Library.
He nodded. The dean and chapter have decided to close the Cathedral Library. Its not been formally announced yet but its an open secret. The legal positions rather complicated its a question of diverting the endowment to something else relating to the Cathedral. And then there are the books, which is where you would come in. Theyre hardly ever used here, and frankly its a waste of space having them here.
I wouldnt have thought space was a problem in this building.
Youd be surprised. Its our duty to make the best use of our resources we can. But to go back to the books. One possibility is that we give some or all of them to another library, and yes, perhaps the one at the Theological College might be appropriate.
I noticed he did not mention the possibility that the Theological College might close.
Or we may sell some or all of them. But we cant really decide what to do until we know what weve got. Theres never been a complete catalogue, you see. He stood up and lifted down a heavy foolscap volume from a shelf. He blew off the dust and placed it on the table. Dean Pellews original collection is listed in here. Just authors and titles, nothing more, and Id be surprised if weve still got them all. And then over the years thereve been one or two half-hearted attempts to record acquisitions as they were made. Some of them are in here. He tapped the book. Others are in the filing cabinet by the door.
Hudson sat down again. He took out a pipe, peered into its bowl and then put it back in his pocket. I wondered what he would pay me and whether it would be enough to allow me to stay on in Rosington. He was going bald on top. Next I wondered whether he and his wife were fond of each other, and what they were like when they were alone together. Her name was June. She was one of the few ladies in the Close who not only recognized me but said hello when we met.
Couldnt you get someone from a bookshop to look at the books?
We could. They would certainly do a valuation or us, I imagine. But we dont even know if we want to sell them yet. And if we wanted a catalogue, wed have to pay them to do it. He hesitated, and added, Theres another reason why Id like the books catalogued before we make up our minds what to do with them. There are a few oddities in the library. Id like a chance to weed them out.
What do you mean exactly?
Apparently my predecessor found a copy of Mrs Beetons Household Management. One or two novels have surfaced as well. Perhaps my predecessors muddled up some of their own books with the librarys.
Look, its very kind of you, but I still dont think Id be suitable. Ive never done anything like this before.
He beamed across the table. Personally Ive never found that a good reason not to do something.
Hudson was persistent, even wily. He proposed I try my hand after lunch at half a dozen of the books under his supervision. If the results were satisfactory to me and to him then he suggested a trial period of a week, for which he would pay me three pounds, ten shillings. If we were both happy after this, the job would continue until the work was finished. All it needed, he said, was application and intelligence, and he was quite sure I had both of those.
The week passed, then another, then a third. It was easier to carry on with it than to try to explain to Hudson yet again why I wasnt suitable. The money was useful, too. I worked methodically round the room, from bookcase to bookcase. I did not move any of the books except when reuniting volumes belonging to a set. I used five-by-three index cards for the catalogue. On each card I recorded the author, the title, the publisher and the date. I added a number which corresponded to the shelf where the book was to be found and I added any other points which seemed to me to be of interest such as the name of the editor, if there was one, or the name of the series or whether the book contained one of Dean Pellews bookplates, and had therefore been part of the original endowment.
It was surprisingly dirty work. On my first full day I got through several dusters and had to wash my hands at least half a dozen times. At Janets suggestion, I bought some white cotton dusting gloves.
I reserved a separate table for the books which were in any way problematical. One of these was Lady Chatterleys Lover, which I found halfway through my second week sheltering in the shadow of Crudens Concordance. I flicked through the pages, feeling guilty but failing to find anything obscene. So I borrowed it to read properly, telling my conscience that it wouldnt matter two hoots to Hudson if I found it today or next week.
I watched the cards expanding, inching across the old shoebox I kept them in until that shoebox was full and Canon Hudson found me another. My speed improved as I went on. The first time I managed to dust and catalogue fifty books in a single day, I went to the bakers and bought chocolate eclairs. Janet and Rosie and I ate them round the kitchen table to celebrate the achievement. As time went by, too, I needed to refer fewer and fewer queries to Canon Hudson.
At first he came in once a day to see how I was getting on. Then it became once every two or three days or even longer. There was pleasure in that too.
Youve got a naturally orderly mind, Wendy, he told me one day towards the end of April. Thats a rarity.
Henry would have laughed at the thought of me in a Cathedral Library. But the job was a lifeline at a time when I could easily have drowned. I thought it came to me because of the kindness of Canon Hudson, and because I happened to be in the right place at the right time. Years later I found out there was a little more to it.
It was in the early 1970s. I met June Hudson at a wedding. I said how much the job in the Cathedral Library had helped me, despite everything, and how grateful I was to her husband for offering it to me.
Its Peter who was grateful to you, my dear. At one point he thought hed have to catalogue all those wretched books himself. Anyway, if anyone deserves thanking it ought to be Janet Byfield.
What do you mean?
It was her idea. She had a word with me and asked if I would suggest you to Peter. She said she hadnt mentioned it to you in case it didnt come off. But I assumed shed have said something afterwards.
No, I said. She never did.
That increased my debt to Janet. I wish I knew how you pay your debts to the dead.