Shed never known a father, but someone like Micah had probably had the sort of childhood she could only imagine. How old were you?
Eighteen. My dad was a cop, killed in the line of duty.
Im sorry. That explained something about him. He was following in his fathers footsteps, in a way.
Shed always been determined not to follow in her mothers.
He nodded, as if in acceptance of her sympathy. And Im sorry I wasnt able to tell you more about your sister. There really is a good reason for all the security. No one would testify against organized crime if they didnt think theyd be protected. And even then, it takes courage to do what your sister did.
Her throat knotted, and she had to clear it before she could speak. I know. I was proud of her. Ruby was always the brave one when it came to dealing with things.
Things like their mother in a drunken rage, or a landlord determined to evict them, or one of Moms boyfriends trying to take money from her purse when she was passed out.
What did you do when things got rough?
Hid, when I was small. When we were a little older, Id get out of the apartment. Id try to find someplace safe. Thats how I first discovered the library. A whole building filled with books to escape into, and no one trying to chase me away.
A half-smile touched her lips at the memory of that first time, and Ms. Henderson showing her how to apply for a library card and introducing her to the wonders available just for the asking.
Shed never taken a book home, of course. That would have been asking to have it ruined or sold. Ms. Henderson had seemed to know that without a word being spoken.
Could someone like Micah possibly understand? If he did, that was almost worse than the alternative.
Sorry. She folded her arms across her chest. Youre not interested in my past.
Yes. I am. He reached for a pair of sunglasses tucked into the visor as the sunlight strengthened, sending up a white glare from the snow. Ruby talked a little about her life, the times I saw her. Theres no reason not to tell you that she seemedwell, content, I guess, with the way things turned out. She worked in a little café, made some friends, was active in her church.
Church? Ruby? Shed thought she was beyond surprises where her sister was concerned, but that did startle her.
He sent her a sidelong, questioning glance. Ruby came to faith after she entered the program. I sensed that everything shed been through had made her realize the importance of having Christ in her life.
Tears stung her eyes, and Jade blinked them away. Once hearing that would have meant the world to me.
Once? The dark glasses masked his expression, but his voice probed for an answer.
She felt a little flare of anger. Was he judging her?
Based on the way you talked about Rubys faith, you seem to be a believer, but I dont understand how you can think God is in control with all the things you must see in your job.
Like Rubys lifeless body, in her own garage.
Those are the things that make me understand how much I need to listen for Gods guidance.
And when God is silent? Grief put an edge on the words like a whetstone on a knife. When He seems too far away to hear you cry?
He took the glasses off so that she could see his eyes. They were dark with concern. One might almost imagine that he cared, but that was impossible. She was just a job to him.
There have been times when Ive thought God was pretty distant. I always seem to find that Im the one who has moved, not God.
Unshed tears had a stranglehold on her throat. She had to struggle to force the words out, astounded that she was having this conversation with Micah, of all people.
I wish I could believe that. I really do.