Untrue. I date all the time.
She rolled her eyes. My point exactly. You dont have a girlfriend, and God knows Colin will come alone. Assuming he even attends.
The doubt in her tone was wrenching. Hey, he wouldnt miss this for the world. He agreed to walk you down the aisle.
I know. But...sometimes it feels like weve lost him. I wonder if we should have tried harder to keep him here instead of letting him roam the countryside, doing odd jobs on ranches. This will sound stupid, but I worry that if he drifts too far out of orbit, he wont be able to find his way home.
Justin stood, clearing plates from the table. Would it be cruel to point out that Colin had lost his wife and child and probably needed distance from Arden, who now had her own child and was about to become a wife? No matter how sincerely Colin wanted his sisters happiness, her bliss couldnt be easy to be around.
After a moment, she joined him at the sink, her earlier sadness replaced with an air of determination that never boded well. She smiled. Speaking of your abysmal dating habits
We werent. We were discussing our drifter brother and how we should save him from himself. Lets explore that further.
She ignored him. Christmas is a special time.
It was eerie how much she sounded like their mother. Arden had only been four when their mom got sick. Did she remember that Christmas had been Rebecca Cades favorite time of year? Did Arden recall any of the traditions that had faded once their mom was gone? For a second, the kitchen around him seemed filled with the aroma of spicy sausage balls and the sharp sweetness of lemon bars. He recalled the music of his moms laugh after she routinely triedand failedto hit the high note in O Holy Night.
Its a time, Arden continued, of reconnection. Even if you havent spoken to someone in months, you can send them a card.
He narrowed his eyes. Why do I think you mean someone specific?
You never should have let her go. Ardens voice was soft, but the reproving note echoed all around him. As Ive said many times before, you and Elisabeth were great together.
You have a point. Not about us being great, but about you saying it many, many times. Give it a rest, will you?
Colin has gone God knows where, so I cant help him. Maybe I still have a shot at getting you to fix your messes before I move to the ranch. I know we joke about your love life, but breaking up with Elisabeth Donnelly was the stupidest thing youve ever done.
It hadnt been stupidity. It had been self-preservation. But he couldnt explain to his happily engaged sister the claustrophobia hed experienced during dinners with the Donnellys or the clawing panic as Elisabeth watched her friend Michelle succumb to the same disease that had taken his mother. His growing attachment to Elisabeth and her family had been uncomfortable enough, but then Kaylee had started visiting during some of her moms hospital stays...
He cleared his throat, shoving the memories aside. You dont have to worry about Elisabeth Donnelly. Shes found some businessman. You can bet they have more in common than she and I ever did.
If Elisabeth decided to enter the corporate world, she was bright enough to fast-track herself to a fancy corner office and well-dressed minions. Meanwhile, Justin worked three different jobs in the course of a year to compensate for the off-season and lived in a rented house. His ambitions were about conquering black diamond trails, not making money or building a legacy.
She has a boyfriend? Arden frowned. Its a small town, and I havent seen her with anyone. Maybe its not serious.
Serious enough that he proposed and she said yes.
What?
He leaned against the counter, his pose relaxed. It was important that Arden saw how unbothered he was by Elisabeths engagement. They have a long-distance relationshipeven longer distance than you and the cowboy. I ran into Lina on Sunday, and she filled me in on the details. He omitted the part about how Lina thought the engagement was a mistake and blamed Justin for her sisters rash decision.
Oh. Ardens forehead furrowed into pensive lines. I was so sure you and she...
Sis, Im glad you found true love, but that doesnt give you magical insight into everyone elses personal lives. No matter how fervently she insisted he and Elisabeth belonged together, stubbornness did not equal truth. No more unsolicited opinions, okay?
She snorted. Yeah, thats gonna happen.
As she brewed coffee to go with the chocolate-caramel brownies that were cooling, Arden brightened. I always liked Elisabeth, but talking to her got weird after you broke up. Now that shes over you, I should call and compare notes on wedding gown shopping.
He made a noncommittal sound.
And I have to keep reminding myself that Garrett fell into my life when I least expected it. Just because I was wrong about you and Elisabeth doesnt mean youre doomed to be alone. She poked him in the shoulder. The right girl for you is out there.
God, I hope not. Because hed rather ski blindfolded down the side of a mountain than meet her.
* * *
NINE OCLOCK FOUND Justin sitting on his black leather couch, eyeing his cell phone as if it were a prairie rattlesnake. Earlier in the evening, hed ignored a text from Lina asking if hed made the promised call to her sister yet. Shed followed it up with another text reading, You dont want to be on my bad side. Im the evil twin.
He could dismiss Lina if she were his only motivating factor for contacting Elisabeth. But even though hed told Arden that Elisabeth had happily moved on, he hadnt seen evidence of that happiness last night. If she were over Justin and in love with someone else, shouldnt she have been more philosophical about their breakup, less prickly? And, as hard as hed tried, he couldnt shake the memory of Kaylees wide brown eyes, far too solemn for a child that age. Justin, is my momma gonna die?
In his mind, he saw Kaylees face but it was four-year-old Ardens voice he heard all over again. He hadnt been able to help Kaylee Truitt cope with the loss of her mother. Was there still a chance that he could do something useful for the kid? Elisabeth would resent the hell out of his questioning her decision, but since she seemed to hate him anyway, what did he have to lose?
Decision made, he picked up his phone and scrolled through the contact list. But he couldnt find Elisabeth or the Donnelly Ski Lodge, which puzzled him. He rarely bothered to update contact information and kept every number entered, including one for a take-out restaurant that had gone out of business two years ago and another simply marked G. Had he deleted Elisabeth?
The week after hed left herand simultaneously left his jobwas hazy in recollection.
During the spring, Justin had worked at her familys lodge as a hiking guide. The Donnellys had been inescapable, woven into all corners of his life. Elisabeths mother had made a huge fuss over his birthday. Mr. Donnelly, outnumbered by the women in his family, constantly expressed gratitude that he finally had an ally. It was disorienting. Fathers in Cielo Peak had always preferred Justin stay away from their daughters.
Had the Donnellys been quick to extend their approval to the new man in Elisabeths life, or had they learned their lesson?
Justin reached for the phone book on the bottom ledge of his coffee table. As he dialed her number, he wondered if shed even pick up when she saw who was calling.
Surprisingly, she did. Hello?
Hey. Its Justin. Now what? He kicked his feet up onto the table, searching for the words that would make her agree to see him. The Cade charm was more effective in personnot that it had done much good last night. Our conversation in the bar has been bothering me. If youre leaving Cielo Peak, thats not the way I want to end things between us.
Justin, things between us ended long before last night.
Their relationship had ended when she told him she loved him and hed told her goodbye. Hed wanted to apologize for the way it had happened dozens of times. But how could he when he knew that, under the same circumstances, hed make the same decision again?
He stifled thoughts of the bittersweet past. I should have offered my congratulations. How about I buy you lunch tomorrow?
To congratulate me on my engagement? Her tone was heavy with skepticism.
That, and to give us a chance to talk.
What are we doing now?
Hell if I know. But before he could come up with a better answer than please meet me, or Ill need a restraining order against your sister, she inexplicably agreed.
Actually, Elisabeth said, I do have something I want to speak with you about.
Really? He couldnt imagine what. Despite Linas crazy predictions, he doubted his opinions would carry any weight with Elisabeth. Not anymore.
If you dont mind an early lunch, she said, I can make a little time in my schedule. Eleven-thirty? At the lodge?
Your familys lodge? Hed managed to avoid setting foot inside since theyd stopped dating.
Is that a problem?
No. But it gave her a whopping home-field advantage. Meet you at the front desk. The words rolled off his tongue from force of habit. How many times had he said that exact phrase during the months when theyd worked together? Some of his most unforgettable romantic encounters had started with her smiling from the other side of that reception desk. An avalanche of memories threatened to bury him.
R-right, front desk. For the first time since answering her phone, she sounded hesitant. See you then.
* * *
IT WAS DIFFICULT for Justin to fall asleep Wednesday nighthis head was too full of female voices. Linas, dripping accusation; Ardens, predicting that love was lying in wait for him around some dark corner; Elisabeths, vibrating with the hint of unshed tears when hed told her they should stop seeing each other. And in the background of his cluttered thoughts, his moms voice lingered, singing off-key Christmas carols.
After a restless night of fragmented dreams, he gave up and climbed out of bed Thursday morning an hour before his alarm clock would have blared. With the extra time, maybe he could stop at the Cielo Café bakery counter, pick up a few dozen bagels and muffins for the patrol team. But once he got behind the wheel of his SUV, he found himself driving in the wrong direction. Ten minutes later, he parked at the cemetery, not quite sure what he was doing there.
It had been a long time since hed visited. Colin refused to come here, and Arden had been so busy with the pregnancy and the new baby.
Jamming his gloved hands in the pockets of his coat, Justin crunched across the layer of snow frosting the walkway. There was a stark beauty in how the rising sun illuminated the headstones. Parts of the cemetery were still in shadow, but other patches, beginning to catch the dawn, shone brilliantly. He tried to appreciate the sight rather than think about how row after row symbolized people who had once been loved and were now gone.
A grandfather hed never known had purchased family plots here, but Justin had no intention of being buried. Hed told Arden that when the time came, he wanted to be cremated, his ashes scattered on the wind. Shed made morbid jokes. So even after you die, you refuse to settle down? Sounds about right.
As he reached his parents joint marker, he suddenly felt sheepish, as if hed tracked mud into his mothers clean kitchen. I should have brought flowers. Something seasonal, like poinsettias. I know you loved Christmas, Mom, but it hasnt been the same since you died.
That first year, his father had been too devastated to remember the holiday. If it werent for the gentle interference of their aunts, the Cade children wouldnt have had anything to unwrap Christmas morning. Then they lost their dad, too. Throughout Justins adolescence, theyd occasionally accepted invitations to join well-meaning families in the community, but it was awkward, being the gloomy thundercloud that hung over someone elses festivities. They got in the habit of staying home, where Colin microwaved dinner and the two brothers taught Arden how to play cards. Thats what the holiday season had become for Justinrubbery lasagna and explaining blackjack to his sister.
Now, he survived November to January by hoping for good ski conditions and ignoring the hectic whirl of shopping, decorating and televised specials.
His mind slipped to the Donnellys. While hed never been inside their house around Christmas, he imagined it was thoroughly decorated. After all, Mrs. Donnelly had gone to great efforts simply for his birthdaystreamers and humorous miniposters, balloons on the mailbox and an elaborate home-cooked meal. They were a close-knit family who liked to celebrate together.
Yet Elisabeth was choosing to move away. Brushing his hand over the smooth, cold edge of his parents gravestone, he couldnt help but wonder, did she have any idea what she was giving up?