Shame filled him and he took care when he lifted the heavy bucket from her small hand. He cleared his throat, not at all sure how to say what he had meant to say. Talking had never been his strong suit. He hefted the heavy water buckets and lugged them toward the camp, where both little children watched him wide-eyed. Anyone could see they were well-behaved, that their ma was doing a good job raising them up.
Where you want these? He glanced over his shoulder, but the woman seemed frozen in place on the rise. Mrs. Nelson looked like a sensible sort. Her pink calico dress might be faded, but it was simple and clean, void of frippery.
She came across as a decent lady down on her luck. And she was staring at him with fear on her face. Not the terrified sort of run-and-hide fear. No, the fear he saw on her delicate features was the kind that made him even angrier. The kind that spoke of ill-treatment.
Where do you want me to put the water? he repeated in as clear of a voice as he could manage.
Mrs. Nelson visibly swallowed. Under the tailgate.
Without a word he turned and marched angrily on, his boots clumping against the hard-packed earth. He hauled the buckets to the back of the wagon and dropped them with a small puff of dust. When he straightened, he realized both children had followed him, single file, and were staring up at him with dust-smudged faces. Mrs. Nelsons skirts snapped as she hurried to stand between him and the young ones.
That only made him madder. What are you doing here?
Ill not have you using that tone in front of my children. Her dainty chin came up, and she was all protective fire, though the old, worn fear was still there.
He hated that fear. It was all he could do to keep his tone low and his voice calm. This being my land, maam, Ill use whatever tone suits me. Now, answer my question.
That chin lifted another notch before she turned to speak to her little ones. You two go on and wash up for supper, while I speak to Mr. McKaslin.
They nodded and politely went straight to it. The little boy fetched a bar of lye soap and a worn but clean towel from the back of the wagon, and took charge of seeing to the hands and face washing of his little sister.
With the children busy, Aiden followed Mrs. Nelson out into the grass. She turned to face him with her arms crossed over her chest and her spine straight. We had no place to go, Mr. McKaslin.
You have family.
Family? I have no one and you know it. She held herself very still. If youll excuse me, Ill get my children into the wagon and well be off your property by sundown. That is what you want, isnt it?
You just said you have no place to go.
And a man like you cares? She heard the heartlessness in her own voice and stopped, took a breath and a moment to compose herself. She might be homeless, but she had her dignity. I cannot reimburse you for our stay on your land. I am sorry for that.
Sorry? A muscle worked in his granite jaw. He repeated the word as if hed bitten into something sour. Sorry?
Theres no need to be so angry. She took a step back and drew in a gulp of air. We hardly did any harm.
Any harm?
We wore away some of your grass, and the horses grazed on the bunchgrass, but it wasnt as if you were using
This is unacceptable. A vein throbbed out at his temple. Youve been living here for how long?
Since Mr. Wessox found us camped out at the edge of his farm on the other side of the creek. She curled her hands into fists, keeping her chin set and her tone even. This was not the first irate man shed ever had to manage.
How long? Tendons stood out in his muscled, sun-browned neck.
We were only there a few weeks. She felt very small. Weve been on your land for a little longer.
And you have no family? A tick started in the corded muscles of his jaw.
You already know the answer. She took a few slow steps in retreat. She could not get to her wagonor her childrenwithout going past Mr. McKaslin. My half brother has no interest in helping us. There is no one else.
What of your husbands side of the family?
As hes passed away, and his family did not approve of me, they want nothing to do with us. Not even for the childrens sake. She didnt know how it could possibly be, but her words seemed to make the man towering over her even angrier. He appeared to be restraining his fury, but it was a terrible sight. He was more than twice her size and strength, and as he began to breathe heavily with his anger, he seemed invincible.
A thin thread of fear shivered through her, but she firmly clutched her skirts, lifting them so she would not trip. Her first wobbly step took her closer to him. Closer to his rage. Excuse me.
To her surprise, he let her walk by. She did her best to ignore the stone pillar he seemed as she hurried past him, adrenaline kicking up with every step she took. Her children were waiting, sweet and good, with their faces and hands washed. They were carefully wiping up their water splashes. Her heart warmed toward them as it always did, and she hoped she could keep them safe.
Ma? James leaned close, all brightness gone from his face. That mans gonna make us leave again, aint he?
Before she could answer, Daisy fisted her little hands in the folds of Joannas skirts and looked up with frightened eyes. I dont wanna go.
Why ever not? She did her best to put a smile on her face and soothing love in her voice. She knelt down so they could look into her eyes and clearly see they should not be worried. We always knew this was just a stopping off place. Why, were ready to go and start our next adventure. Doesnt that sound fun?
No. James would not be fooled, her poor little boy. Do we gotta go now? Before supper?
Aware of Daisys lower lip trembling and how intently the little girl watched her, Joanna tried to weigh her next words carefully. She did not want to make promises she could not keep. But neither did she want to be so truthful it shattered her children. She was out of options, and her prayers had simply gone unanswered for so long, they might never be again.
All she could do was the best she knew how. All right, you two, start rounding up your toys. Be sure to get them all. We dont want to leave any behind.
Okay, Ma. James sighed with sadness, his shoulders weighed down as he went to bring in his wooden horses.
Yes, Ma. Daisy sniffed, her head down, and trudged away.
The wild grasses crunched beneath Mr. McKaslins boots. She dreaded facing him again. He strode toward her through the waving stalks, his work clothes rippling slightly in the strong westerly breeze and hinting at his steely strength. Vulnerable, she braced herself for whatever wrath hed come to inflict on her.
He had some right, she admitted, for they were squatters. They were illegally using the land he worked hard to pay for and to maintain. She was, essentially, stealing from him. That shamed her.
Silence stretched between them, and she felt the rake of his gaze, taking her in from the top of her windblown hair, where escaped tendrils snapped in the wind, to the toes of her scuffed, patched shoes. She watched him fist his big, work-roughened hands, and expected the worst.
You never told me, Mrs. Nelson. Where are you going to go? His tone was flat, his jaw tensed, as if he was still fighting his temper. His blue eyes glanced past her to where the children were going about their chore.
I dont know. Her throat went dry. Her tongue felt thick as she answered. When I find employment, I could wire a payment to you. Rent. Y-you arent thinking ofof bringing the sheriff in?
You think I want payment? Aidens voice boomed like winter thunder. You think I want rent money?
Frankly, I dont know what you want.
Ill tell you what I dont want. I dont want His words echoed like cannon fire as he paused, and a passing pair of geese overhead honked in flat-noted tones. He grimaced, and it was impossible to guess what he would say or do.
She trembled not from fear of himshe truly didnt believe he would strike herbut from the unknown. Of being forced to take the frightening step off the only safe spot shed found since shed lost Pas house.
When you were homeless, everything seemed so fragile, so easily off balance. It was a big, unkind world for a woman alone with her children. She had no one to protect her. No one to care. The truth was, Joanna had never had those things in her husband. How could she expect them from any stranger? Especially this man she hardly knew, who seemed harsh, cold and hard-hearted?
And, worse, what if he brought in the law?
You cant keep living out of a wagon, he said, still angry, the cords straining in his neck. Animals have enough sense to keep their young cared for and safe.
Yes, it was as shed thought. He intended to be as cruel as he could be. She spun on her heels, pulling up all her defenses, determined to let his hurtful words roll off her. She grabbed the towel the children had neatly folded and tossed it into the laundry box in the back of the wagon.
Mrs. Nelson. Im talking to you.
Yes, I know. If you expect me to stand there while you tongue-lash me, youre mistaken. I have packing to get to. Her fingers were clumsy as she hefted the bucket of water shed brought for washingshe wouldnt need that nowand heaved.
His hand clasped the handle beside hers, and she could feel the life and power of him vibrate along the thin metal. Give it to me.
Her fingers let go. She felt stunned as he walked away, easily carrying the bucket, which had been so heavy for her. Quietly, methodically, he put out the small cooking fire. He did not seem as ominous or as intimidatingsomehowas he stood in the shadows, bent to his task, although she couldnt say why. Perhaps it was because he wasnt acting the way she was used to men acting. She was quite accustomed to doing all the work.
James scurried over, clutching his wooden horse, to watch. Daisy hung back, eyes wide and still, taking in the mysterious goings-on.
He was different when he was near to them, she realized. He didnt seem harsh, and there was no hint of angeror, come to think of it, any other emotionas he shook out the empty bucket, nodded once to the children and then retraced his path to her.
Let me guess. He dropped the bucket onto the tailgate, and his anger appeared to be back. Cords strained in his neck and jaw again as he growled at her. If you leave here, you dont know where youre going and you have no money to get there with?
She nodded. Yes, sir.
Then get you and your kids into the wagon. Ill hitch up your horses for you. His eyes were cold and yet not unfeeling as he fastened his gaze on hers. I have a shanty out back of my house that no ones living in. You can stay there for the night.
What? She stumbled back, and the solid wood of the tailgate bit into the small of her back. But
There will be no argument, he snapped, interrupting her. None at all. I buried a wife and son years ago, what was most precious to me, and to see you and them neglected like thiswith no one to care His jaw clenched again, and his eyes were no longer cold.
Joanna didnt think shed ever seen anything sadder than Aiden McKaslin standing there in the slanting rays of the setting sun.
Without another word, he turned on his heels and walked away, melting into the thick shadows of the summer evening.
Chapter Three
As he led the way across his land, it was all Aiden could do not to look behind him. He knew the covered wagon was following him across the rolling prairie, but he steeled his resolve. He would not turn around and see that woman alone, thin from hunger and pale with strain. He could not take any more, so he contented himself with listening to the plod of the tired horses hooves on the sun-baked earth, and the rhythmic squeak of the wagons rear axel.
Yep, he didnt like this one bit, but he hated even worse the notion of sitting home tonight, comfortable and safe and fed, knowing that a nice woman and her children were unprotected and uncherished and alone.
No, it just wasnt right. Emotion clogged his throat, making it hard to swallow, making it hard to breathe. He refused to let his gaze wander to the east, where the family cemetery lay in shadow, the headstones tall enough to see from his saddle. Thats what got him all stirred up. Seeing this woman alone, and her small children homeless, rubbed at the break in his soul that had never healed properly.
He didnt see how it ever could. A loss like that was too much for a man to take.
It was a long ride home through the low rays of the sun. A cooling breeze kicked up, and he drew in the fresh air until it settled in his lungs. He let his chest empty of all the feelings in there. By the time he spotted the sun winking on the windows of home, he was safe from his wounds again.
The young boys voice rose above the call of a quail and the rustling wind in the grass. Ma! Ma! Is that where were gonna live?
Aiden tried not to be affected by the younguns excitement, nor by his mothers gentle response.
No, sweetheart, thats where Mr. McKaslin lives.
But its so big, Ma. Are you sure?
Yes. Were going to live in his shanty.
Oh.
Aiden steeled himself to the sound of the small boys disappointment, too. He told himself the shanty was snug and would do just fine for them all, but the truth was, he couldnt stomach the notion of having another woman in the house hed built for Kate.
He followed the fork in the road that skirted the barn and led south from the main house to the small dark structure of wood and plaster. He heard the childrens quiet questions to their mother and tried not to hear the soothing lull of her answers as he dismounted.
Opening the door and finding the nearest lantern kept his mind off the ragged family climbing down from their wagon in the front yard. By the time hed lit the second lantern, the boy stood in the open doorway, looking smaller for the darkness and shadows cast over him.
The childs serious eyes were unblinking as he watched Aiden cross the one-room house to the cook-stove in the corner. If his guess was right about Mrs. Nelson, she would want tea with supper and wash water for cleaning up. He knelt down and began to build a fire with the bucket of kindling and sticks of wood left over from when his middle brother had been living here.
The boy said nothing, just watched with wide eyes. Aiden tried not to think much about the child. Not out of heartlessnessno, never that.
By the time he got the fire lit and flames licked greedily at the tinder-dry wood, the woman arrived at the door with her littlest on her hip. Without a word she glanced around the shanty. Her face was gaunt in the half darkness, her feelings masked. He couldnt tell if she was disappointed in the shelter or relieved.