It isnt working, Amy yelled, pushing her way to Julias bedside. She bumped the vase of flowers and it cartwheeled and shattered as it struck the floor. Shards of glass flew everywhere and a puddle of water formed on the floor next to Sarahs feet.
Sarah sidled back into a corner, trying to stay out of the way as Jack tried to pull Amy from Julias bedside where she was grasping for Julia and getting in the way of the nurses. Let them do their work, he urged.
Its not working. The medicine isnt helping, Amy cried. Please make it stop, she begged as Julia continued to writhe in her bed, a foul odor rising from the sheets. Amy clapped a hand over her nose and mouth.
The seconds ticked by like hours. The nurse grabbed another syringe and injected it into the IV. How long could this last? Sarah wondered.
Slowly, Julias body relaxed, her face smoothed and her hands uncurled, but the heart machine continued to beep rapidly.
Whats wrong? Amy asked the nurses who were standing over Julia, watching her carefully. Why is it still making that sound? Dont just stand there, do something!
She has a do-not-resuscitate order, Dean said under his breath, so softly that Sarah was sure she was the only one who heard him.
Do something, Amy pressed, her voice rising as she spiraled into hysteria. She clutched onto the nurses sleeve violently, begging her not to let her aunt die.
Shes DNR, Dean repeated, this time more loudly.
What does that mean? Amy cried as she leaned into Jack, tears streaming down her face. Why arent they helping her? Make them help her.
They cant. She doesnt want any heroic measures keeping her alive, Dean explained.
The heart monitor blipped frenetically and Amy pressed her hands to her ears as if trying to block out the sound. Gradually, Julias chest stopped moving and the beeps stretched into one continuous, mournful cry.
No! Amy cried as she pulled away from Jack and lunged toward the bed. Please dont leave me, she begged, pressing her lips against Julias warm cheek. Amy lowered her head and her brokenhearted keening became entangled with the mechanical scream of the heart monitor until they became one. A nurse reached over and turned off the machine. The only sound in the room was Amys weeping.
Hal approached his wifes side on unsteady legs and reached for her hand. A dry sob came from deep within his chest; he leaned over the bedside rail and murmured into Julias ear.
Sarah watched as Hal went slack with helplessness. She went to his side and reached for his hand. His fingers were ice-cold.
Dean tried to stifle a cry and Celia buried herself in his chest. Hal slowly lowered himself into a chair, his face a map of disbelief.
A nurse carefully removed the oxygen mask from Julias face and began to unhook the monitors from her chest. Stop, Amy yelled, clawing at the nurses arm again, trying to pull her away from the machines. Her eyes were filled with fury.
Amy! Celia exclaimed in horror as the nurse, wide-eyed, tried to shake her off. Celia grabbed Amys hands and she released the nurse, whose arm was lined with angry red scratches that bloomed with blood.
Sarah watched in disbelief as Amy squirmed from Celias grasp and shoved past them, out of the room.
Are you okay? Celia asked.
Im fine, the nurse said, clearly shaken, blotting her bloody arm with a tissue.
Shouldnt someone go after her? Sarah asked, heart pounding.
No, just let her go, Jack said. Let her cool off.
Jesus Christ, shes fucking crazy, Dean hissed, his voice tense with anger.
Please! Hal interjected. For Gods sake, have some respect for your mother. Everyone froze and a mix of shame and grief washed over them. Hals head fell heavy in his hands and the room filled with the soft sobs of a man who just lost his wife. Fifty years, he said mournfully. We were married fifty years. He looked up from his hands, his eyes wet and bloodshot. Fifty years and she had to leave me this way?
The nurse watched from the doorway as Jacks family seemed to collapse under the weight of their own grief. Ill have to ask you to step out for a few minutes, Mr. Quinlan, she said kindly. Well take care of your wife and get the room cleaned up, then you can come back in and take as much time as you need.
The room looked like a war zone. The floor was slick with water and flower petals. Shards of glass from the broken vase crunched beneath their feet. Hal remained by Julias side until Dean gently took his arm and guided him from the room. Sarah bent down and picked up the handmade quilt that had fallen to the floor. She folded it neatly and draped it over the back of a chair.
Jack paused at Julias bedside and looked down at the woman who had welcomed him into her home after his parents had died. He whispered into her ear and lightly brushed her cheek with his fingers.
Im sorry, sir, the nurse said. We have to ask you all to step out, please.
Sarah held her hand out to Jack. Together they stepped into the hallway and Sarah pulled him into her arms. Its going to be okay, she murmured. She felt Jacks heart thrumming against his chest.
Jack released Sarah and went to his uncle. She loved you, Hal said, taking Jacks hands in his own. You and Amy, just like you were her own. You know that, dont you?
I know, Jack replied, his voice hoarse with emotion. She always believed in me. No matter what.
Sarah embraced Hal. Is there anyone I can call for you?
I know who to call, Celia interjected in a way that struck Sarah as oddly aggressive.
What about Amy? Sarah asked. Do you think someone should go check on her?
I think its probably best to just let her be for a while, Celia answered. Let her catch her breath.
Sarah wrapped her arms around Jacks waist, and he rested his chin on top of her head. Did you know Julia had a do-not-resuscitate order? she asked.
No. And Amy must have not known, either. Ive never seen her act like that before.
I should call the girls, let them know whats going on.
No, not yet.
I could make arrangements to have them fly here? Sarah offered.
No, Jack said quickly.
Sarah pulled back and looked up at him. But...
Sarah, he said in exasperation. I said no.
Sarah didnt understand Jacks reluctance to bring the girls to Penny Gate. They should be here with them. Thats what families did; they were there to support one another when times were difficult.
The tension between them was broken by the sound of determined footsteps. They shifted their gaze down the long corridor, where a woman in a long white doctors coat and a man who appeared to be a security guard were approaching with quick, long strides.
This cant be good, Jack said in a low voice. Can you find Amy?
Sarah hesitated, glancing at Jack with uncertainty.
Sarah, please just go!
She started down the hallway, hurt by Jacks harsh tone. When she reached the end of the hallway, she turned to see the doctor and security guard confront Jack in the doorway of Julias room. He held up his hands in placation, as if trying to calm them.
The nurses must have alerted security about Amys outburst and they were coming to...what? Escort Amy from the building? Detain her until the police came to arrest her? Sarah quickened her pace, though she wasnt sure what she would say to Amy if she found her. Should she tell her to run, to get out of there as quickly as possible? Or should she try to convince her to come back upstairs to talk things through?
The nurses must have alerted security about Amys outburst and they were coming to...what? Escort Amy from the building? Detain her until the police came to arrest her? Sarah quickened her pace, though she wasnt sure what she would say to Amy if she found her. Should she tell her to run, to get out of there as quickly as possible? Or should she try to convince her to come back upstairs to talk things through?
Once again she bypassed the elevator and raced down the stairs and through the lobby. The automatic doors slid open and Sarah saw Amy shivering on a bench just outside the hospital entrance. A brisk wind had swept the clear skies away and replaced them with dark clouds heavy with rain. Amy had stopped crying and was blankly staring upward, a cigarette pressed to her lips. She had one arm wrapped protectively around her waist, the same way that Jack always did.
Amy. Sarah cautiously approached her sister-in-law. Im so sorry about Julia. Are you okay?
I cant believe shes gone. Amy swiped at her nose with the back of one hand. I cant believe shes really dead. She pressed the heels of her hands against her bloodshot eyes. I really freaked out up there. Did I hurt that nurse?
Just a few scratches. Sarah sat down on the bench. Shes fine. But everyones worried about you.
I bet Dean went ape shit. She gave a short bark of laughter and then started to cry again.
Sarah wasnt sure what to say. She barely knew Amy, but what she did know was that she was volatile and unpredictable. But this was Jacks sister and she also knew that Amy loved her aunt and was grieving terribly. Sarah slid closer to her and put an arm around Amys thin shoulders. Do you want to come back inside? she asked once Amys cries subsided. I bet if you apologize to the nurse, shell forget the whole thing.
I cant go back in there, Amy said, taking a shaky drag on her cigarette. Not now, anyway. She gave the cigarette a tap and watched the long ash fall to the concrete below. In her other hand she held what looked to be a round silver charm. The kind you might find on a bracelet or on a necklace.
Amy caught Sarah looking and held it out for her to see. Engraved on one side was a cross and on the other was the word faith. It was lying next to Aunt Julia when I found her. I was going to hold on to it until she woke up and then give it back to her. She shook her head. I dont think I can face them. She looked up toward Julias room. Its all my fault.
What do you mean its your fault? Sarah asked.
Amy didnt answer. She dropped the cigarette to the ground and squeezed the charm tightly in her palm. Amy, Sarah prodded. What do you mean?
I dont know. Maybe if I had gotten there fifteen minutes earlier...
You cant think that way about it. Youll drive yourself crazy, Sarah said. Just think about what could have happened if you hadnt shown up when you did.
Amy shrugged, unconvinced. When are you leaving town?
Well stay for the funeral, of course, but will probably need to go home soon after.
Amy nodded and lit another cigarette. Thats probably a good idea. People who stay around here too long either die or go crazy. Jack had the right idea. He left Penny Gate as soon as he could and didnt look back. If my mom would have just left... Amy trailed off.
You cant blame the accident on your moms decision to stay in Penny Gate, Sarah said. Theres no way to know what would have been different.
The accident? Amy gave a skeptical snort. Is that what Jack is calling it these days? She stood, took a deep pull on the cigarette and blew a stream of smoke out of the corner of her mouth. You need to talk to your husband, Amy said as she started to walk away. You know Jack. Always full of secrets.
Sarahs stomach clenched. What else hadnt Jack told her? She watched as Amy walked away, her gaunt frame hunched against the sharp wind. She considered chasing after her but to what end?
Maybe she had been overreacting about Jacks name, and even about Celia. But Jack was definitely keeping something from her. Something important.