Ted didnt answer her for a moment. He wrapped a few more coils around the spool, then set it carefullygently, as though it were something preciouson the coffee table. He didnt look at her, pulling at a loose thread in the seam of his pants and clearing his throat. Jen, theres something I need to tell you
The door opened at the top of the stairs. Oh, God, Jen whispered. She accidentally dragged the quilt halfway off Teddy as she scrambled off the couch. He mumbled in his sleep.
Dont move. Dan descended the stairs, slowly, holding a garbage bag in one hand and his gun in the other. When he reached the base of the stairs, he looked around the room, then let the bag drop to the floor with a muffled thud. Heres food. And I threw a few of the kids toys in, too.
Wait, Jen said. She searched Dans face. His beard grew in unevenly, with a few bare patches that looked like hed taken an indifferent swipe with a razor before giving up, more pepper than salt. Her father had that look, when he first came back from Alaska. He never made much of an effort at grooming. Couldnt you just let the kids go? They wont say anything, theyre
He held up a hand to stop her. Not going to happen, okay, so let it fucking drop. Trust me, itll go easier.
He backed slowly up the stairs, one hand on the rail, finding his footing a little clumsily, moving with the bearing of a middle-aged man who got too little exercise. Then he was gone, the door closing behind him.
Jen stood motionless for a moment before bending to pick up the trash bag. It was one of the black lawn bags, the good ones. She upended it carefully on the rug, and four water bottles rolled out. Jen set them on the coffee table and shook out the rest of the food. Juice boxes, half a dozen of the little ones Jen sent to preschool with Teddy. A box of Triscuits. Another, half-full of cheddar goldfish. A mesh bag of those little round wax-covered cheese wheels, still cold from the fridge. Bruised fruita couple of bananas and three pears.
Jen picked up a pear, remembering choosing it from the bin at Whole Foodswas it just yesterday? Shed chosen the Bosc because the other ones were so hard and green, like theyd never ripen, and shed come home and arranged them in the white ceramic bowl on the counter.
You hungry? Ted picked up the Triscuits, tore open the box.
Are you kidding?
Ted paused and stared at her. Look, Jen, Im not the enemy here.
I get that. But how can you eat? Her own stomach had growled in protest, and she hadnt eaten since taking Teddy to Jamba Juice after preschool, an outing that seemed like it had taken place days ago, not just hours earlier. But the thought of food was impossible.
Ted looked down at the cracker in his hand. Im...I just thought we should eat something.
He looked so lost, and Jen wished hed lie to her again, like he had before. Anything to stop her mind from chasing itself in desperate circles. She should never have come down on him so hard when he was only trying to keep their spirits up.
But shed questioned him then, and now shed done it again, eroding his strength right in front of her eyes. It was all wrong. Her job was to bolster him, to help him be the strong one, to help him take care of them all.
But the poison was in her mind, in her imagination. She kept getting flashes of the dark schemes the men upstairs might have in mind. Especially the young one. He seemed unbalanced, like someone who could hurt others without feeling remorse. Like he might enjoy it.
The way he looked at Livvy, his gaze sharpening and his mouth going tight, and she didnt even know what he was seeing. When he looked at her daughter, did he imagine tearing her clothes off her? Doing things to her, making her do things
Jen let out a whimper of terror, unable to stop the terrifying parade of images. Ted dropped the cracker on the coffee table and reached for her. Honey. Jen. What is it?
Its Ryan. I just dont trust him. With Livvy. I mean, didnt you see him watching her? When he pulled her head backwhen he touched her with his gun? Even if what you said about Dan is true, even if he just wants to take our things and leave, hows he going to stop Ryan if he wants to... She couldnt bear to say it, to name her fear.
Dans not going to let things get out of control. Hes in charge here. Theres no way hed risk that. Anything goes wrong, it takes them both down.
Jen seized on the hope he was offering her, willing it to be true. I know it seems like hes in charge. But what if Ryan tries something, anyway?
Dan wont let that happen. Ted shook his head. Look, I know guys like Ryan. Theres one in every locker room. On every team at work. Theyre the guys who are always looking for an opening, trying to see what they can get away with. They always end up digging their own hole and getting fired.
This isnt an office
No, but Dans not going to let Ryan get the upper hand. Guys like that are tricky, but theyre weak.
Jen considered, dubious. It seemed like Teds theory was woven from the thinnest threads, but it was better than anything she had, and it had the advantagethe enormous advantageof giving her hope.
I thought of something else, Ted said. A reason why theyre waiting.
What?
The cars. If they want to take the cars, they cant risk driving out of here and being seen by someone who knows us. They could change the plates while theyre still in the garage, drive out in the middle of the night when theres no one on the street. They couldcome to think of it he snapped his fingers they could have a truck nearby. Make a few trips in our cars, get everything out and none of the neighbors would ever notice because everyones asleep.
But then theyd need a third person, right? To drive the truck? Besides, how much could they possibly take? More than they could fit in two cars?
Well, maybe thats why they came so early. So they could take their time looking around.
Or maybe they already knew what we have, Jen said. If theres someone else involved, like we were talking about before. Like where the safe is, my jewelry, the art, your dads coinsall of it.
I still think thats such a long shot. I mean, someone who knew us well enough to know where all of that isI just dont know who that would be.
Or Livvy, Jen thought. Someone who knew Livvy. But she had promised herself to try to stay calm, to keep a grip on her fears.
They were silent for a moment, both of them listening, both deep in their own thoughts. But upstairs, all was quiet.
Looktake the love seat, Ted said after a while. You might be able to get some sleep on it. Ill take the floor.
Well... She thought about letting him have the love seat, since one of them might as well be comfortable, and she was pretty sure she would be wide-awake all night, no matter what. But she had to try, for the kids sake if not her own. If youre sure youll be all right.
Yeah, the floors nice and firm, probably be good for my back.
He tried to smile, and for a moment Jen watched him, really looking at him the way she hadnt in a long time. Something was differentsome flicker in the depths of his eyes, some extra lines around his mouth. Of course it was probably just fear and exhaustion, the sheer weight of worry, but as Ted busied himself with spreading out some quilts on the floor, she couldnt help feeling there was something else.
She arranged her blanket on the love seat and curled up on her side, using a sofa cushion for a pillow. When Ted snapped off the light, the basement was completely dark, the kind of dark where you almost feel like youre in another dimension, adrift, without even the glow of the moon through a window or a night-light down the hall to orient you.
After a few seconds Ted turned the light back on. I dont want the kids to be scared if they wake up, he whispered. Will this be okay for you?
Its fine, Jen whispered back, and rolled over so her face was pressed against the back of the love seat, finding her own total darkness.
As she closed her eyes and waited for sleep, she tried to force her thoughts away from this horrible day, back to when things were normal. Yesterday, shed gotten out of bed, brushed her teeth, got the paper, made the coffee. Packed a snack for Teddy and ironed a shirt for Livvy. Planned the details of her day, the errands, the car pools, the dinner menu, never dreaming that thirty-six hours later her life would be yanked out from under her. Shed had an extra cup of coffee with Ted before he went...where had he gone yesterday? Some errand...then she remembered, Ted had spent the afternoon at the BMW dealer having the oil changed and the dent fixed.
Except when she came home tonight with Livvy, she could swear the dent had still been there.
* * *
She dreamed a dinner party, impossibly detailed, and even as she walked the rooms of her house she suspected that she wasnt really there. It happened that way, sometimes, in dreams. She touched the stemware, the silky petals of roses in the pewter bowls. She walked among her guests, but she barely greeted them. She brushed past the hired bartender, through the butlers pantry, a quick tour of her kitchen, where several of the women from her Zumba class were standing near the bay window, wearing those skimpy outfits they all bought at the new fitness store that had opened in the old Blockbuster space. Jen was annoyed that they hadnt dressed for her party, but still she didnt stop.
She was looking for something.
She made her way up the stairs, leaving the crowd behind. The kids doors were open; they were with friends for the evening. The hall bath was tidy. It smelled like disinfectant, which Jen found soothing.
She hesitated at the door of her bedroom. It had been milled to match the rest of the doors in the house, solid six-panel construction. It was standing slightly ajar, and Jen tapped it with a fingertip and it opened a few more inches. Did she really want to do this? She could turn around; she could go back downstairs; she could have a glass of wine, a second, a third, however many it took to dull this wanting to know, this need, the one she couldnt bring herself to separate from, the way she knew was best, the way other women did. Choosing not to knowit was one of the most important tools in a wifes arsenal.
Some defiant spark wouldnt let her turn away. She pushed the door open, hard enough for it to bang against the wall, and there they were. In her bed. Sarah Elizabeth Baker sitting astride her husband with her head thrown back, all that luxurious hair tangled around her shoulders as if shed ridden through a windstorm to come to him. Teds hands were on her hips, pressing her against him, grinding up into her, and they were so consumed by the moment that even as they twisted around to see her, they didnt stop their rhythm and the sight of them thrusting together was like an ax in Jens heart.